I NEEDED ALL my strength to get out of bed the next morning. Aside from having a hectic last day tying up loose ends at work, I just didn’t want to leave the comfort of Nate’s arms.
My predictions had been right. I’d been busy right up until two when I joined Michael in his office to update him on every project I was working on. “There shouldn’t be any problems,” I assured him, closing my tablet. “The rest of the team are fully capable of running with things for the next couple of weeks.” I knew it was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to suggest he could call me if there were issues. I pulled off my glasses and stood.
“One more thing,” he said, his chair creaking as he bounced it back. “The Star presentation in half an hour upstairs? I’d like you to go.”
I opened my mouth to speak but quickly shut it. Michael wouldn’t like what I wanted to say. What possible use could I have to attend that? “But,” I spluttered.
“I have to leave early.” He smiled sardonically and slurped his coffee. So did I.
“It shouldn’t be a big one,” he went on. “They’re unveiling some of the new branding suggestions. The Senior Execs are all there. Think of it as getting that pretty face known.”
It was pointless arguing, and only prolonged my time with him. Begrudgingly I conceded and left his office. He didn’t even wish me an enjoyable holiday.
I skipped returning to my office, figuring Mai would catch up on my whereabouts. Instead, I headed straight to level fifteen.
I didn’t have to make a sound for Nate to know I was there. From where he sat on the sofa, he glanced up. Sharply astute eyes held my gaze for a long minute. I rubbed at my chest, the sudden twinge reminding me how badly I’d miss him.
“I was just thinking of you,” he said, signing the last of the papers in his lap.
I made my way in and sat beside him. I looked at the pen clasped in his hand. “I didn’t realise you were left-handed.”
“The ability to use both hands comes in very handy at times,” he purred, setting the papers onto the table.
“Can’t argue with that.”
He turned towards me, drawing one leg up onto the leather between us. “It’s a shame I can’t demonstrate quite how useful. Unfortunately, I’m about to head to my meeting.”
“I know. I came to see you before everyone arrives.”
The hand draped along the back of the sofa came up and curled my hair around my ear. “Don’t let Michael catch you. He’s one of the attendees.”
“Not anymore. That’s why I’m here.”
Nate stiffened, brow furrowing. “Why send you?”
The way he asked, so rudely, as though it was beneath me, was offensive. “I’ve dealt with ego-driven male executives before. I’m sure I can handle it,” I bit out.
“That’s not what I meant,” he snapped. Before my eyes, he withdrew into his guarded businessman shell. My presence usually calmed him but right now, he looked anxious and thoroughly uncomfortable. Nervous even. The audience we were about to face were Senior Executives, influential people from both companies who wielded a lot of power. There was no room for private emotional attachments.
“Hey,” I said, touching his thigh. “I won’t pounce on you across the boardroom table. I’ll be the consummate professional.” I stroked playfully, edging up to his groin and back again.
Nate laughed nervously, a forced sound and stilled my hand.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” We both turned sharply at the sound of a female who’d entered the office. Her gaze fell to our joined hands resting on his thigh. “Hope I’m not interrupting,” she sneered.
“I’ll be there shortly,” Nate snapped, scowling at the now smirking redhead. Her grey eyes narrowed as she scrutinised me, looking me up and down. Wrinkling her nose, she grimaced. Charming.
In a blatant come-on, her arms crossed over her chest, pushing up average sized breasts so cleavage swelled through the opening of her emerald green blouse. Her tongue darted out to wet bright, red lips. Offended and annoyed, I was pleased with my restraint as I patiently waited for her to finish her performance.
“We’re ready,” she said breathlessly. She turned and sashayed out, her narrow hips swaying far too obviously to be natural.
“Well, I haven’t impressed her.” I turned to Nate.
“You have nothing to prove to her. I’m with you now. Don’t forget that.”
I found his reassurance at that moment strangely odd, but I had no time to dwell on it. “I better go in first.” I stood, needing a minute to pull myself together ahead of what was shaping up to be an interesting meeting.
“Will you be ready to leave as soon as we’re done here?” Nate asked.
“I’ve done my handover with Michael so I’m all yours.” I turned when I reached the doors. The bleak shadows in his eyes worried me and sent a wave of unease crawling over my skin. The silence between us spoke volumes of the agitation building inside him.
“You know how much I love you, don’t you?” he asked quietly. “That I’d never willingly upset you?”
“I do.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat, thinking his questions strange and untimely. He still got on edge about how deeply he’d fallen for me, and worried I would never understand the extent of his feelings. That alone told me how much he did. “Do you know how much I adore you?”
Nate replied with a soft smile. Glancing into the lobby to check we were alone, I dashed back to him. “Give me a kiss,” I pleaded, desperate for that reassuring connection. “Go on, no-one’s looking.”
“My forever,” he whispered, sweeping luscious soft lips over mine.
I stepped back, still feeling off. “Don’t keep us waiting.”
The large Boardroom had been set up with concept boards for visuals, and two young men from the creative team were frantically preparing the laptop ready for the presentation. About twelve personnel, all male in business attire, were milling around the rectangular table and taking their seats.
“Can I help you?” A familiar voice asked behind me. I turned and found the redhead glaring daggers at me. “Are you the intern?” she went on, pushing past. “Take a seat at the back.”
“Actually,” I said, drawing my shoulders back, “I’m replacing Michael Cole.” Taking advantage of being a good six inches taller, even in my ballet flats compared to her nude Jimmy Choo’s, I extended my hand. “Kara Collins. Any financial queries can be directed to me.”
She didn’t take my hand. “Fine. Sit quietly, save your questions until last. Make sure you take notes.” She looked me up and down with pursed lips. “I have no time to run through details with him because of your incompetence.”
Remaining professional, I took the seat closest to where I stood. I felt more than a little out of place, sitting here in my grey skinny jeans. Her patronising dismissal of my intelligence riled me. I was glad to have no more dealings with her after this. The CEO for Marketing, Geoff, sat to my left and made small talk as I fired up the note app on my tablet.
The chatter descended into a hushed silence, signalling Nate’s arrival. He walked with brisk, harried steps, phone clenched in one hand, to the far end of the table where the redhead sat batting her eyelids. He pulled out a chair, unbuttoning his navy jacket as he sat beside her. He looked uncomfortable, agitated even. Definitely not like someone about to unveil the culmination of months of hard work for the biggest deal in his company’s history.
The redhead smiled, patiently waiting for him to begin. Her bright smile didn’t even slip when Nate whispered something in her ear. The sight of them being so intimate spiked a pang of jealousy in me. It was silly, but I felt like my ear was the only one he should be whispering into. By the scowl on Nate’s face, I knew it wasn’t sweet nothings he’d said.
“First,” he began, “I appreciate you all being here today in what should be an exciting moment for both of our companies.” His eyes followed each attendee around the table, but completely skipped me. They also skipped the woman to his right. “I must apologise for missing dinner last night. Trust me, I didn’t go hungry. And neither did you if the tab was anything to go by.”
There was a ripple of laughter, but I think everyone in the room sensed something was off. I had no idea Nate even had a dinner scheduled, let alone cancelled because of me. I knew his hungry reference was aimed at me, but when I glanced up again from my tablet, he still wasn’t looking my way.
“I’m sure you’re very much in demand, Nate,” the redhead purred.
“I am,” he agreed, “which is why, unfortunately, I’m going to have to cut this meeting short.” Calmly, he twisted the lid off the water bottle in front of him and took a long gulp. The attendees shuffled in their seats with murmurs of discontent and uncertainty.
“This is highly unprofessional, Blake.” A greying man with a portly belly and rosy cheeks huffed a few seats down from Nate. He was right. This behaviour was so unlike Nate, but he didn’t seem to care about the damage this could cause his reputation.
“Let me assure you, RED will continue to handle this project with the utmost care and professionalism, synonymous with the NTB Brand. I’ve seen some of the mock-ups, and I believe we’ve truly excelled ourselves this time with our innovation and forward-thinking. You won’t be disappointed, Roger,” Nate stated, addressing the man. “And as a gesture of good faith, I will fully reimburse all of your expenses and cover the rescheduled trip at a later date.”
Roger looked a little mollified. The redhead placed her hand on Nate’s arm. “May I say a few words?”
Nate shot her a look that would’ve had the mightiest of men withering in their seats, but she didn’t flinch. “Nate and I go back a long way,” she started, “and I’m certain there’s an excellent reason for cancelling at such short notice. He’s such a consummate professional, an expert in his field. There’s no-one else I’d rather get close with again.”
She failed in catching his eye, because now was the exact moment he chose to find mine. Wide-eyed with concern, he studied me carefully. He’d reclined in his seat, distancing himself from the redhead who had noticed where he was looking. The glare she gave me could’ve killed.
“Purely professionally, I mean.” She giggled coyly as if her faux pax hadn’t been intentional. Her fake smile said she was full of shit. “I’m sure everyone agrees, mixing business and pleasure rarely ends well.”
That comment was definitely intended for me. My skin prickled and the knot in my stomach returned.
“If that’s all, Miss Grainger, the meet—”
“Oh, Nate,” the redhead giggled again, “you know you can call me Ashleigh.”
Ashleigh. Her sickly sweet tone grated on me—her name even more so. Why did it feel like it had been following me around, hounding my subconscious? It only took the sheer panic flaring in Nate’s eyes for me to realise it had.
Nausea flooded the pit of my stomach as it gradually dawned on me who this woman was. Nate had called her Ash, but there was no mistaking he was referring to the woman sitting across from me, cosying up to him without shame. Only she wasn’t some ex-girlfriend tucked away in the past as he’d led me to believe. Ashleigh Grainger was here, large as life in the very same room, breathing the very same air.
The urge to vomit became so overwhelming I lunged for one of the water bottles in the centre of the table and promptly sent my tablet crashing to the floor. “Shit!” I cursed quietly, all shaking fingers and thumbs as I scrambled to retrieve it from under my seat. There was a small commotion and a very audible tsk from her.
“Are you okay, Kara?” Straightening up, my eyes found Nate. Leaning forward, concern etched into his beautiful features, he waited anxiously. I knew from his gentle tone he wasn’t referring to the accident that just happened.
He’d got it. He knew I’d put all of the pieces of the puzzle together and made a very ugly picture. Ashleigh peered at me with a fake look of concern. “I’m fine, Nate. Sorry—Mr. Blake.” I squirmed as all eyes turned on me. My hand went to my neck, twisting the starfish back and forth along the chain. My face heated. My black sheer blouse felt like it was sticking to my skin, and my mouth was dry.
I didn’t even hear the meeting conclude. The only indication it had finished was when everyone stood and the room began emptying out. Ashleigh pushed to her feet, her fingers steepled on the table. “Miss Collins? Could you wait a moment, please?”
Nate was buttoning his jacket, standing beside her. “You have nothing to say to her,” he snapped, picking up his phone.
“Just want to ensure she has all she needs for her boss.” She touched his chest and swung her eyes to me, a cruel smirk twisting her lips. Disgusted, I looked away, busying myself with gathering my belongings together.
The room had emptied by the time Nate reached me. His hand curved my shoulder as he bent down. “You don’t have to listen to any of her bullshit, Kara.”
A chill moved through me as his lips brushed my ear. My traitorous body had other ideas, reacting to the briefest of touches the only way it knew how—with heated longing and understanding of how good they felt when they swept over more intimate parts of my anatomy.
“I think I do.” I pulled back my shoulders. “Maybe I’ll finally get some answers.”
I should have been preparing for a confrontation, but instead, I found myself scrutinising everything about her. Ashleigh was pretty—I’d expected nothing less—but she was nothing like me. I’d hazard a guess and say she was late twenties. She wore her blouse tucked into a knee-length white pencil skirt and expensive accessories. Impossibly thin, her face was immaculately made-up and framed by shoulder length hair cut in a choppy style that looked effortless but had probably spent hours to perfect.
Redheads were notoriously fiery and spirited. Ashleigh appeared no exception to that stereotype. Everything about her screamed bold and sexy. And the way she’d been chasing Nate? She wasn’t afraid to use her assets to her advantage.
Nothing like me.
“So,” she said, perching on the edge of the table a few feet away, “how long have you two been fucking?”
“That’s enough!” Nate turned to me. “Let’s go.”
“Don’t try to deny it. I’ve seen evidence proving it. My investigators were very thorough.” Ashleigh pinned me with narrowed grey eyes designed to force me into submission.
“Your investigators?” I spluttered.
“This is so out of line, Ashleigh,” Nate warned, his mouth thinned, eyes glaring. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
My mind raced, question after question jostling for position. Still, I found myself answering, “What Mr. Blake does in his private time is none of your concern. Your association is business, not pleasure.”
Ashleigh gave a conniving laugh and swung her legs off the table. “Kara, you seem like an intelligent girl, so it should come as no surprise to learn you’re merely warming his bed for me.”
“Jesus!” Nate raked a hand through his hair, the other on his hip. “You’re so deluded it’s sick.”
“That’s what you think?” I asked. Small and inferior because she was standing, I pushed back my chair and stood.
My sense of superiority was fleeting when she sneered, “It’s what I know. We have history. Our families are great friends. It’s a shame I was out of town for Thomas and Sadie’s party, my parents had an amazing time.”
The couple I met briefly… No wonder the atmosphere had been frosty. Then I remembered how protective Nate’s family had been that night. “I doubt you were invited. I know you weren’t missed.”
Nate came to me. “Let’s go, baby. She isn’t worth our time. I’ll answer every question you have, just not here. Not like this.”
“Let her talk. I’m interested to hear what she has to say.” I had no idea where my fighting spirit had come from, but I wasn’t running this time. I was ready to confront the truth. Belief that I deserved better, along with a backbone to stand up for what was mine were the greatest gifts Nathan Blake had given me.
“You know she’s gonna feed you a pack of lies?” he warned sternly.
“Am I lying when I say we’ve met for dinner in New York, and we had a very…interesting run-in at the vineyard a while back?” she pointed out sweetly.
I couldn’t ignore that. I knew he’d seen her the other week, but not over dinner. And how long was a while back? “Is she?” I croaked.
“You make it sound like it was just the two of us,” he corrected harshly, glaring at her before turning to address me. “This all happened weeks before I even met you.”
“Kara.” Ashleigh sighed, propping her hip to the table. “He’ll inevitably return to his first love. Me.” She crossed her arms, all the while maintaining eye contact, trying to put me off. “We were both virgins, but it was still good.” Cocking her head, she giggled. “Well, as good as anyone’s first time ever is.”
Her revelation hit me like a punch in the gut. The bitch was goading me with moments I could never share with Nate. A memory forever etched into his mind.
“Enough!” Nate snapped. He stalked towards her, knuckles white with rage around his phone. “Didn’t you cause enough damage the last time? Can you not get it into your fucking crazy head that I’m not interested? You have nothing over me anymore!”
“No?” she asked calmly, her smile sardonic.
“No,” he hissed, a warning through gritted teeth. Towering over her, irritation and rage rolling off him in waves, he was a man on the verge of cracking and losing all self-restraint. “Now, I swear to God, if you don’t get your goddamn ass out of here, this whole bullshit farce of a project can go to hell!”
Ashleigh balked and swayed a little, her head jerked back from the venom in his threat. She did what he said, hastily shoving her bound notebook into a beige Chanel tote. I picked up my glasses and tablet, shaking with anger. Pain lanced through my chest and I was on the verge of collapsing. I watched her leave when she stopped by the door and looked back. “I still wear the ring he bought me,” she said dreamily. “Reminds me of his eyes.” She flashed a rather gaudy sapphire creation on her right hand. So not like something Nate would choose. Then she laughed and waved her left hand. “Not on that finger anymore, though.”
“Out!” Nate grabbed her elbow and marched her out.
My head pounded, overloaded with intimate revelations. The room grew small and stifling hot, stagnant bitter air circulating around me. My feet began to move, carrying me out of the room. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nate haul Ashleigh into a lift, but I carried on walking, stumbling my way into his office.
I left my tablet on his desk and went to the cabinet in search of a drink. He came in and shut the door a few seconds later.
“Why don’t you have any alcohol?” I cried. “What good is water to me?” I poured a large glass, then twisted to face him. His chest was heaving, the stunning face I adored flushed and set hard and angry.
“I didn’t fuck her,” he seethed, his lips thinning.
“Jesus! It’s not about that! Before we met, you could’ve fucked hundreds of women for all I care!” That wasn’t true, but I had no claim on him back then. “You led me to assume you’d had a casual run-in with her, not that you’re in business together.”
I allowed my gaze to drift over every sophisticated, divine inch of him. My eyes snagged on the long, talented fingers flexing nervously by his side, the tensing making the throbbing veins glaringly prominent.
“You were engaged?” I whispered.
“Never,” he assured softly. He tossed his phone onto the sofa and approached. “It’s all lies, Kara. All of it.”
“Stop,” I snapped, my upheld hand warning him not to come any closer. I gave the tumbler a squeeze, imagining it shattering into a thousand tiny pieces when it hit the window behind him.
He sighed. “Ashleigh bought that ring years ago with my money and passed it off as an engagement ring to any fool who cared to listen.”
“A fool like me?”
He cursed under his breath. “A fool who doesn’t know the real me—who wouldn’t know a man in love if he kicked them up their ass and shoved his heart in their faces.”
I went to his desk, focusing on the two photographs taking centre stage. I lifted the newest one, the two of us at the anniversary party—a gift from his parents—and studied it carefully, searching for flaws. There were none. Our love was real and deep down I knew it.
“What happened between you two in New York?” I asked shakily, leaning back on the desk so I could face him. I had to know everything before I could move on.
“Ah, God.” He scrubbed his face. “Ash thinks she has something over me. I have no idea what. She came on to me in my office, tried to kiss me.”
I gasped, sucking in a breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, fists clenching around the photo, battling to stay calm and determined to let him finish before reacting. He didn’t.
Nate took my mouth roughly. The pads of his thumbs smoothed along my jaw, easing away the tension until I willingly opened up. The second our tongues joined, the kiss softened but was nonetheless insistent.
I fell back, buckling under the force of his will. The photo frame hit the desk as I scrambled for balance. My mind was a riot of thoughts, my body a chaotic mix of love and resentment. His lips worked frantically over my face like he couldn’t stop kissing me, whilst his hands began unbuttoning my blouse. “Nothing and no-one will ever change my love for you,” he murmured gruffly between kisses.
“I know,” I whimpered. My back bowed, my head dropping back, surrendering my neck to his mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dragged him closer.
“I fucking need you,” he growled, pushing my blouse open and cupping my breast. “You own me.” A low rumble moved through him as his teeth grazed the swell of flesh. He yanked the cup down and sealed his mouth over my nipple, sucking and biting.
“Stop it!” I cried, shoving him off me. I scrambled off his desk, trying to salvage some dignity. “You can’t gloss over this with a fuck! No matter how much I want you to.”
Nate straightened. He wiped the pad of his thumb over his lips. “Don’t mistake that for an apology or admission of guilt. I admit I’ve handled her, and you, in the wrong manner, but that’s all it is. No lies. No cheating. Just misguided reasoning.”
“I know you didn’t fuck her! But finding out she had her hands all over you is something you should’ve told me,” I stuttered, shaken as I buttoned up my blouse. Tears began to clog my eyes.
“I didn’t think you’d trust me going forward if I detailed precisely what happened in New York. I couldn’t bring myself to confide in you and ruin what we’d found in each other.” He raked both hands through his hair. “I feared you’d give up on us and walk away from me because it was the easy way out.”
Nate. I’d made him second-guess his own gut instincts. He’d always been truthful. I’d kept him at arm’s length because I didn’t want to get hurt, and he’d kept this from me because of it.
“I had no idea she worked for Star until it was too late.” He disappeared into the bathroom. “Last I heard, she was taking time to herself to figure some personal issues out. By the time I realised, contracts had been drawn up and signed.”
“And now she’s going to be a part of our lives whether we like it or not.”
“I meant what I said,” Nate muttered, returning with some tissue. “I’ll sever all ties, break the deal.”
“I can’t allow that to happen.” He’d already made too many sacrifices. Any more, and his business would be jeopardised, possibly beyond repair. Nate had called me immature once before, but I’d grown since then. The ability to handle threats to my relationship was stronger than ever. “And I won’t give her the ammunition she needs to break us up.”
I’d stand by him and face whatever Ashleigh wanted to throw at us. He was worth it. We were worth it.
He smiled, carefully wiping my eyes. “There’s the inner strength I fell in love with.”
I sniffed, managing a half-smile. The same glow of adoration I’d seen so many times before danced in his eyes. First thing in the morning; the times I’d caught him watching me when he thought I didn’t know. The same way he gazed at me when I was beneath him, covered with him. Mind, body and soul.
He checked his watch and gathered up our belongings. “We need to leave.”
“I can’t get on a plane now. Not with this hanging over us.” I let him take my hand and lead me out of the office towards the lifts. Reception was eerily quiet, both Riley and Ramón nowhere to be seen.
“You can.” We stepped into the waiting lift and travelled down to my level. “You’re going to spend some quality time with your dad because he needs you.”
“So do you,” I murmured, loving him more than I ever imagined possible for putting everyone else before himself.
“And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.” Nate dropped my tablet onto Mai’s vacated workstation before continuing to my office. In a daze, I let him sort everything out. He shut down my computer, locked up my cupboards and tidied the place up.
Nothing had worked out as planned. The romantic meal we were supposed to grab en-route to the airport had gone out the window with no chance of salvaging it. I hadn’t said goodbye to Mai. Now it was late afternoon, and the traffic would be a slow grind to the airport. I’d be lucky if I managed to get there on time and catch my flight.
“Got your passports?” Nate asked, helping me into my long grey cardigan.
I gave him a reluctant nod. “In here,” I said, grabbing my tote. He wheeled my two suitcases to the door and let me take the smaller one.
With my hand firmly clasped in his, we made the long walk back to the lifts.
ROSS loaded everything into the boot of the Mercedes. I was about to climb into the back, when, “Can’t believe you were gonna sneak off without saying goodbye.”
Mai stepped from the shadow of the building, puffing smoke into the air as she stubbed her half-smoked cigarette out on the packet.
“I wouldn’t dare.” Relief danced inside me. “I’d never hear the end of it.”
She scanned me up and down. “You okay? You look a little off.”
“I’m a bit shook up, but I think I’m going to be all right.” I squeezed her hands. “Are you?”
“Oh, you know me,” she sang, shrugging a shoulder. “I’m always happy.”
“And that is why I love you so.”
One brow arched. “Are we having a moment?”
I laughed. In the most upsetting of times, Mai could make my heart fill my chest. I kissed her cheek. “Be good. Focus on your work, study hard. If you do, I’ll bring you something awesome back.”
“A hot man?” she asked eagerly, reminding me of her relationship woes.
“That’s happening in a few weeks, remember?”
“Want me to take care of yours while you’re gone?” She nodded behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to the car. Nate waited patiently. He always had, and he’d assured me he always would.
A tiny smile crept over his face, forcing me to realise how unsettled he actually was. Again, his focus in all this mess had been on me and my well-being. But what about him?
“Get in the car, K.” Mai shoved me, breaking my thoughts. “You know he doesn’t need taking care of. He’s got you by his side. He’ll be good.”
I settled into the backseat, immediately grabbing Nate’s hand when he joined me. I waved to Mai through the tinted glass and rested my head on his jacketed shoulder. He nuzzled into my hair, taking a deep breath, his body relaxing.
I dropped my gaze to his left hand clasped around mine. I began stroking his ring finger, smoothing my fingers over the long digit. My free hand toyed anxiously with the starfish around my neck.
The bright lights of Los Angeles passed in long drawn out metres as we moved then stopped, moved then stopped. It had been little over a year since I’d returned to a place I’d once called home. Aside from my father, and all the wonderful cherished memories of my mother, it held nothing for me anymore. Everything I wanted was right here.
“I treasure what we have, Nate,” I said quietly. “You and me, you know?”
Glancing at me in the dusky light, something flickered in the eyes I found myself drowning in every day. I didn’t know what it was, I’d never seen it before.
An unravelling of the soul…a power exchange…a surrender…an admission of defeat?
The demons he’d helped me battle and destroy were creeping into his soul, reminders of his past returning to haunt him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and lifted his hand to my mouth. “I love you,” I whispered, kissing the spot I’d been stroking moments before.
He sagged into the leather, closing his eyes on a long exhalation. “We’re going to be okay,” he promised.
As my salvation, I was depending on it.