IT WAS ALMOST 1 p.m. when I returned to my office after the late start to my weekly planning meeting with Michael and began checking my Inbox.
Mai swooped in, kicking the door shut with a leopard print heel, her hands full of lunch and bottles of water. I set my glasses on the desk, eyeing her suspiciously, amused at the same time. “Hungry, Mai?”
“For details, yes!” She passed me a drink and sandwich and dropped into the chair opposite, big brown eyes begging me to reveal all. “Three hours is a long time to wait! Gimme the deets.”
“Not much to tell really,” I teased.
“Jesus K, you’ve been screwed outta your mind!” Mai shot me a narrow-eyed glare and pouted her full pink lips.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Only an orgasm or two could put that colour in your cheeks.” She shrugged, balancing her sandwich on her crossed knee. “What’s he like in bed? Bet he doesn’t need a road map to find his way around a woman’s body…” she sighed dreamily.
“Mai,” I warned. We were discussing someone who’s private life was of keen interest to many. It was imperative I didn’t reveal too much. “Not discussing it.”
Mai scowled and changed course. “Where’d he take you?”
I filled her in as we ate. She was impressed and cooed in all the right places. She was also notably in awe of Nate’s straight-talking, gaping when I repeated the words that had basically sealed the deal.
“Where’d you do the nasty?” she mumbled through a mouthful of food. “His place?”
“Mine.”
“Ooh, nice move.” Mai nodded approvingly. “You made him do the walk of shame.”
“I didn’t have to. Nate walked himself out after admitting he’d made a huge mistake.”
Mai sprayed water across the desk as she lowered the bottle from her mouth. “Are you joking?”
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” I grabbed a tissue to mop up the mess.
Mai set the remains of her lunch on the desk, then sagged into the chair. “Fucking shit. I hoped he was different.”
I waited whilst she let it sink in. After a minute, she sat forward and clasped my hand. “Sorry chick.”
“Mai,” I snickered, “you’re the last person who needs to apologise.”
“You’re right.” She stood and brushed down her skirt. “Blake might be the boss, but no man uses my friend and gets away with it.”
Before she went and made an utter fool of herself and got fired, I made her sit back down and told her all about my interesting car journey to work.
“That explains the lateness this morning,” Mai muttered, still not fully satisfied.
“Was I wrong to ask for some dignity and arrive alone?”
“Hell no!”
I knew she’d get it. Then her lips curled.
“I, on the other hand, would’ve made him escort me, so everyone who saw us knew exactly what we’d done.” Mai had fantastic self-belief and didn’t care for others opinions on her. I both envied and admired her for it.
“He seemed genuinely sorry, I could see it in his eyes. You can’t fake that, no matter what lies you can tell.”
“Bet you didn’t have to fake an orgasm.” Mai grinned, her brows wiggling up and down. I wasn’t surprised the conversation had returned to her favourite topic.
“No,” I smirked, swivelling my chair side-to-side as I finished my lunch, “not even the fourth.”
“Oh my God!” she cried, fanning her face. “I knew he’d be a good fuck!”
I choked on the last bite. She dismissed my shock with a wave of her hand. “If a guy gave me multiples like that, it’d be a sure fire way of getting my ass back in his bed again. You seeing him tonight?”
“No.” I pursed my lips, eyeing her warily whilst considering how to phrase my next statement. “Keep this quiet for a while, please?” I implored, twisting the lid off my bottle. “Don’t tell Robyn or Jenna.”
“How the hell do you expect me to keep this quiet? This is, like, the most amaze-balls news ever. Ever!”
“I’m serious. It needs to stay private.”
Mai wasn’t happy, but eventually she held up her hands. “Okay, okay, won’t breathe a word.” She scrunched up the rubbish and stood. “I need some nicotine, you coming?”
“I better not. Michael knows I was late.”
“Shall I bring some caffeine back?”
“Please.” I reached into my bag for my purse and handed her some money. “Take this for lunch.”
Mai earned significantly less than I did, yet she regularly treated me. Pleased she wasn’t in an argumentative mood, she took it without a fuss and skipped out my office. I dropped my purse back in my bag, then went to the window.
People below were going about their business without a care, some running to refresh their over-stimulated minds, others meandering along with friends in the glorious sun.
By agreeing to give Nate another chance, I’d been handed an entirely new set of issues to worry about. He was certainly gifted when it came to satisfying a woman, and a man with his wealth of experience was admittedly a turn on, but too much experience became an instant turn-off. Exactly how many women had he slept with for me to be compared to?
I couldn’t deny liking the way he made me feel, both in and out of bed. The old Kara had peeked through the layers of protective armour and insecurity in those few times already. Nate made that happen. And when he smiled at me?
God, that smile was fatal. It could do serious damage to me, because when it reached his eyes, it was so easy to trust him.
“Even with his monumental fuck up, you’re still glowing,” Mai said, heading back in with my cappuccino twenty minutes later. “I always said a Valentine’s baby should never be celibate. It didn’t suit you at all.”
I often thought it ironic my birthday was February 14, considering how disastrous my love life had been of late.
Mai’s smile grew impish. “I’ve just seen lover boy in the lobby.”
“And?” I sat, noticing the heart shape in the chocolatey froth. Mai was becoming quite the barista.
“Looked like he was walking on air. Didn’t even stop to flirt with me. Can you believe that?” she asked with mock disgust.
I let her get to the door before having enough courage to stop her. “Is Nate ever in your trashy magazines?”
She shrugged. “Tends to be pictured at social events, nothing scandalous.”
I tipped my head, a little mollified. “Is he with people?”
“You mean women?”
I nodded, feeling stupid for not asking directly.
“Sometimes.” Mai eyed me for a minute, then said, “If you want to know about his exes, why don’t you just ask him?”
“Because then I’d be subjecting myself to similar questions I’m not ready to acknowledge.”
We both noticed Michael approaching at the same time. I pretended to be working, but Mai stayed in the doorway. “Kara,” she said softly. “I’m sure Nate’s a good guy. Don’t stress yourself out.”
Mai’s words placated me, but for the rest of the afternoon I fought the temptation to hit Google. Half of me wanted to know what I was letting myself in for, the other wanted to bury my head in the sand. Ignorance is bliss. I knew I’d end up comparing myself to his other women, and all my misgivings would immediately become apparent once more. Not quite ready to see him with other women, I packed my curious thoughts into a box to deal with another day.
“YOU seem different. Dare I say happy?” Mai probed as we descended to the main lobby shortly after five.
“I think I am.” I popped a segment of orange in my mouth and handed some to Mai. It was our usual pre-workout routine and a great way to get some additional hydration.
“I’d be worried if you weren’t after spending the weekend fucking him.” Mai linked her arm in mine and nudged me to the left as we strolled through the cool interior.
Nate stood, hands in pockets, legs slightly apart, chatting to a security guard. The blonde from his office suite was there, too, and the raven-haired beauty who manned the main reception. Seeing her instantly got me suspicious, because she was the same woman Nate had flirted with the only time I’d ever seen him here before. It was entirely feasible they could have slept together in the past. She was very attractive.
His eyes found mine as he maintained their conversation but focused solely on me. He raked my body the same way he had at the bar.
“Wanna go over?” Mai asked, “Because he’s looking at you like he wants to eat you alive.” Luckily she still had my arm, otherwise I might have fallen over. What was happening to me? The way he looked at me had my stomach flurrying with yearning, my body wanting to be touched. By him.
“He’s busy. Let’s go or we’ll be late.” I picked up the pace and steered her to the doors.
A pretentious giggle bounced off the vast marbled lobby walls, managing to be heard amongst all other noise. I glanced back over my shoulder. The blonde had gone, but the other woman still had her head thrown back with a flirtatious giggle. Nate was still watching me, only now he looked aggrieved, scowling as he tilted his head, adjusting his cufflinks. I held his gaze, smiled briefly, then pushed through the revolving doors without looking back.
The heat outside was no relief to my irritated skin. Mai peered at me but stayed silent—so unlike her—as she lit up. I answered my phone when it rang without checking the caller ID.
“What’s wrong?” Nate asked gruffly. “Are we okay? Why did you ignore me?”
“I didn’t ignore you,” I scoffed. “You were a little preoccupied, that’s all.” Mai flashed a grin when she realised who was calling.
“Preoccupied with thoughts of you,” he corrected. That made the irrational stab of jealousy even harder to deal with. “I’m respecting your request for discretion, but finding it hard not to follow you out. Turn around.”
I did as he asked. The building’s reflective glass made it impossible to see inside. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you this morning, but you look wonderful.”
“Thank you.” I kicked the gravel off the path, back into the decorative hedging lining the walkway. I was flattered and embarrassed, with a touch of guilt over my unspoken accusation. Trying to be rational, I told myself it shouldn’t matter if they had history, so long as it wasn’t still going on.
“Can I give you both a lift to yoga?” he asked. “Ross can drive us.”
I turned and saw Ross waiting by the Mercedes. “I appreciate the offer, but we can walk. It’s not far.”
I wished I could see back inside, see who he was with, see whether he was flirting. I hated being this possessive already. “Why were you in Reception? Talking to those men?”
“There’s been a few security breaches lately. My team need to be more vigilant until it’s resolved. Plus,” he added, his voice lowering intimately, “I hoped I might see you.”
I exhaled in a rush, relieved. Mai was texting on her phone, then held it up to show me we were going to be late. “I have to go, Nate.”
“Someone’s got an attack of the green-eyed monster,” Mai sang, relinking arms after I’d hung up.
I couldn’t reply because Ross acknowledged us with a wave over. “Good evening, Miss Collins,” he said, opening the rear door.
“Oh no, Ross, I’m not getting a ride tonight.”
Mai sniggered. I glared at her, covering her mouth with my hand to stifle the rest of her laughter. “Mr Blake is inside, though,” I told him. “I’m sure he won’t be much longer. Have a good evening.”
“And you.” Ross straightened and clasped his hands in front of him again.
As we crossed the car park, Mai was still giggling between puffs. “You’re so childish sometimes,” I scolded, sharing the last of the orange between us.
“Sorry, it’s just, your choice of words couldn’t be more apt.” I rolled my eyes as we headed to the gym. “Who was that guy anyway?” she asked.
I answered her questions, and by the time we arrived and met the other girls she seemed to have regained her composure.
THIS felt good. I let my head fall back to the damp white tiles of the steam room wall and closed my eyes on a contented sigh. The girls were dissecting Mai’s weekend trip with a fine-toothed comb. I listened, offering an opinion occasionally, but memories of my own dirty weekend infiltrated my thoughts.
I remembered Nate’s lips pressed against my neck, the words he spoke. And the way he made me feel…how he made love to me…
I blew out a large breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead with the corner of the towel wrapped around my body.
“Everything okay, Kara?” Jenna bumped shoulders with me and adjusted her bikini top. I was ridiculed every week for not wearing one whilst the three of them paraded their lean bodies in tiny two-pieces. “You’re very quiet.”
Silence descended and all eyes swung to me.
“She’s probably a bit tired girls,” Mai chipped in.
“Ooh, why’s that?” Jenna asked. “Hot date last night?”
“Hot isn’t the word. Sizzling might be close…” Mai blabbed as she poured water onto the coals, adding a sound effect to her unfiltered observation.
The excited squeals and clamouring for more echoed around the sauna. I managed to answer their persistence without revealing who it was—“we met a couple of weeks ago…been on a few dates…yes, I’m seeing him again…no, they won’t be meeting him anytime soon…”
On the way home in Mai’s car, I reprimanded her. She apologised profusely, whilst gleefully revelling in the knowledge that she was the only one who knew the biggest news that—according to her—would have the tabloids in a spin.
Later, as I drifted into a contented sleep, I hadn’t forgotten the events of the past twenty-four hours or so, but for my own sanity chose not to dwell on them. Whether I liked it or not, Nate had stirred feelings in me that had been dead for a long time. And the tiny voice in the back of my mind that rarely made an appearance had chosen this moment to tell me I had to give him a chance, because I believed in him more than I was ready to admit.
EVEN though it was unusually cold, I breezed into work with a spring in my step and a sense of serenity absent from my life for a while. Drinking my cappuccino whilst waiting for my computer to load, a frisson of excitement rushed through me when my mobile rang and Nate’s name illuminated the screen.
“Good morning, Mr Blake,” I answered perkily, rolling the lip of the mug along my mouth and grinning inanely. He laughed, the mellow sound curling my stomach into a tight knot of desire.
“Good morning, Miss Collins,” he replied in that sexy tone that sounded even more arousing first thing when he’d barely woken up. “How are you?”
“Fine, thanks. You?”
“Not so good.” His tone switched from playful to serious. “I have to cancel our date.”
“Oh…” I slumped into the chair, returning my mug to the desk. Warning bells started ringing in my head again. Had I made a huge mistake in giving him another chance?
“Sorry,” he whispered.
“Whatever.” Feeling way out of my depth and uncertain of where I stood, I went to hang up. I had to protect myself and guard my heart by not gifting him the opportunity to hurt it again. Nausea washed over me in waves.
“Kara?” he prompted after my weighty silence. With my finger hovering over the ‘End Call’ button, I swallowed hard and brought the phone back to my ear.
“I’m not interested in excuses,” I managed, my stomach cramping. “Truth hurts, but at least it’s honest.”
Nate let out an exasperated sigh. “You want the truth? Call me arrogant but I cleared my calendar for last night expecting to see you. I agreed to tomorrow without appreciating I have a business function to attend.”
Oh. “I didn’t realise…I’m sure you’ll have a great time.” I hadn’t intended it to sound as sarcastic as it did. I scrubbed at my face, exhausted by my own internal battle of wanting to have faith, but unsure if I could.
“Dressing up and walking the red carpet isn’t as glamorous as it sounds,” Nate said dejectedly.
“Believe me, I don’t envy you one bit. I’d hate living in the spotlight.” Nothing could be worse than being under constant media scrutiny. My hostility towards Nate dissipated when I remembered how uncomfortable he was with the attention, too.
“Having the same conversation repeatedly becomes tedious very quickly.”
My brow rose. Was he indirectly letting me know there were only so many times he was willing to reassure me before he got pissed off?
“Be patient, Kara. The next couple weeks will be chaotic, but after that it should settle down.” His tormented voice made my heart ache.
Resting my elbow on the desk, I spun the mug between my fingers. “We can do another time. Let me know when you’re free, and I’ll check my calendar.” I didn’t want Nate assuming I’d hang around, waiting for him to fit me in.
“I will. First, I have to go kick someone’s ass. Talk later.”
IT wasn’t long after lunch when Michael rushed into my office, running a hand frantically through his greying hair, the other resting on his hip. He played squash every Tuesday lunchtime, and obviously hadn’t been back long because his hair was still damp from a shower, and his face beetroot red from exertion. “Where are you with the Star business case projections?”
Pleased with myself, I said, “It’s completed.” Michael visibly relaxed. I began searching my folders on the server for the file. “Shall I send it to you?”
“No. Mr Blake wants to review it. He’s called us upstairs for a meeting.”
I choked at the mention of Nate’s name. “Now?” Behind Michael, Mai sat at her workstation gaping. She’d obviously heard him. “It’s all self-explanatory…he can review it…you can explain…answer his questions…you don’t need me there…” I was rambling, talking wildly with my hands.
“Kara!” Michael glowered at me, shocked by my odd and thoroughly unprofessional reaction. I shut up immediately. “You did the work. Running Mr Blake through it will increase your exposure.”
“You’re right,” I mumbled, clasping my hands to stop them flailing. “Sorry.” This was all I needed, and proved my concerns over sleeping with the boss were entirely justified. How was I supposed to conduct a meeting with a man I’d recently seen nude? I’d heard the saying about overcoming nerves when dealing with people by imagining them naked, but really, this wouldn’t take much imagination.
“C’mon, we don’t want to be late.” Michael’s words disappeared along with him as he headed out the office.
With trembling hands and legs, I stood, gathering my tablet, and followed. I glared at Mai as I passed, wordlessly pleading to be rescued from this imminent calamity. All she did was shrug, quietly amused by my predicament, trying and failing to hide a smirk with her hand.
Travelling up in the lift, I fidgeted with my outfit, picking imaginary lint from my skirt and ensuring my blouse was straight. My hair was piled high on my head, and tucked on top of the loosely pinned tresses were my glasses. No avoiding it, I was going to have to wear them.
“You’ll be okay,” Michael assured me as we stepped into the vestibule, “he really isn’t an ogre.”
I smiled weakly, his assurance having the opposite effect as my stomach knotted. I knew exactly how tender Nate could be. The blonde sat behind the desk buzzed us through. She greeted Michael by name and asked us to take a seat, informing us Mr Blake would join us shortly.
I can do this. I repeated the mantra as we neared the seating area, taking deep breaths, my shoulders back and head held high. Before we could sit, Nate strode purposefully towards us from his office and I lost all focus.
“Michael, thanks for coming at short notice,” Nate greeted him brusquely. He was without the jacket to his black pinstripe three-piece. A crisp white shirt and glacier blue silk tie were neatly tucked beneath the waistcoat, and the trousers draped over polished black wingtips. When I reached his face, I noticed his gaze had snagged on the black-rimmed glasses perched on my head.
Then they dropped to meet mine. A sensual smile crept across his mouth that lit his entire face. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he found the idea of me wearing them exciting.
“This is Kara Collins. Not sure you’ve met before?” Michael introduced us. My eyes darted from Michael back to meet Nate’s amused expression. Both his hands extended towards me and took one of mine.
“Oh, yes,” he murmured in that tone reserved solely for me, “we’ve met before. And the pleasure was all mine.”
Nate’s suggestive smirk made my face flush. His bright eyes sparkled, waiting for my reaction. My body heated, my nipples hardening as his thumbs rubbed over the back of my hand, the same way they’d caressed my breasts.
“Ahem.” Michael cleared his throat a little too obviously, causing us both to hurriedly let go.
“Let’s use the meeting room.” Regaining his composure, Nate pushed the door open and Michael strolled through. There were ten chairs around a large oak table. Michael went to the far end and I started to follow.
“Please,” Nate said, pulling a chair out, “sit here.” It was the opposite end to where my boss was now settling into his seat. I went from Michael back to Nate, who nodded encouragingly. Warily, I lowered into the leather office chair, setting my tablet on the table. I jumped when Nate’s hands came around my shoulders briefly before he took the seat beside me.
Glancing over at Michael, alone the other side of the gleaming wooden table, he appeared nervous, which didn’t inspire much confidence in me. He couldn’t see my tablet at all, so I was going to have to do this alone.
“So, what do you have for me?” Nate asked smoothly.
I swallowed and flipped open the cover on my tablet. I hesitated for a long minute before finally relenting. Shuffling my chair closer, I lowered the glasses onto the bridge of my nose, clearing my throat as I took a discreet sideways glance at Nate.
His eyes flamed, but he gave nothing away to Michael. Composed and at ease, he stretched his legs, hooking a foot around the back of my right ankle and eased my legs apart.
Fuck. I squirmed in my seat. I couldn’t do this.