I STROKED MY cheek, recalling the stubble that briefly grazed my now flushed skin. I sighed heavily, clutching my bag to my chest. I wanted to feel that stubble with my fingers, my lips. Hoping to relieve the pressure at the top of my thighs, I pressed them together. I wanted to feel it there, too.
The way Blake undressed me with his eyes when I arrived? I’d seen that enough times before to know it meant I want to fuck you. I’d expected him to pursue me far more aggressively than he did, and now, his easy going approach had thrown me. If he wanted me in his bed, it didn’t make sense to let me leave with a cursory kiss on the cheek. Talk about sending out mixed messages.
I was just as guilty. Pleased with the assertiveness I showed in the bar, I’d succeeded in telling him we were never going to happen, albeit more directly than planned. One look outside the bar later, and all my bravado had been blown apart.
My mobile chimed with an incoming message. I fumbled in my bag until I located it. It was from Mai: HAS HE ROCKED UR WORLD YET ;-)
Even she assumed we’d end up fucking. I sent a quick reply: NO then tossed my phone into my bag.
After analysing everything far too many times, I climbed into bed, mentally drained. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to ignore how I could still feel Nate’s lips on my face, his scent on my skin even though I’d showered. He was everything I wasn’t, and could have any woman he wanted. It was baffling to think he wanted me. A shy girl, all too accustomed to her flaws and failings in life, and a far cry from the stunning women he undoubtedly attracted with his lifestyle.
Yes, the sexual chemistry was there, a strong, powerful attraction, the extent of which I’ve never experienced before. But Nate was wrong for me. He couldn’t give me the emotional commitment necessary with sex.
With the sheet high around my neck, I snuggled into the pillows, certain I wouldn’t hear from him again. He’d gone home alone, or at least, not with me. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he’d picked up one of the eager women ogling him outside. I doubt I made as big an impression on him as he had me.
ARRIVING at my desk the next morning after a long taxi drive in, I found my usual strong skinny cappuccino waiting for me. After tucking my belongings beneath the desk, I sat, dragging the mug towards me. Craving the hit of caffeine, I took a long savouring gulp.
Whilst the PC came to life, I watched my colleagues arrive through the internal windows, mentally preparing for another day at work and the inevitable inquisition I’d endure from Mai. As if on cue, she appeared in my line of sight, waving eagerly. I groaned inwardly as she headed towards me.
“You’re pissed off. What did he do?” Mai dropped into the chair opposite, all concerned and worried.
“Nothing,” I sighed.
“What do you mean nothing? Did you blow him off,” she asked, crossing her legs and grinning, “or just blow him?”
“Seriously?” I cried, scrunching my face. Mai always had to lower the tone.
“What? I’m bummed I couldn’t give you a ride this morning, ‘cause something happened between you two.” Scooping her hair to one side, she sat forward. “Blake screams sex. No woman could be immune to him. One look from him and—bang, ovaries destroyed.” Over-dramatically, she fanned her face, like the temperature in the room had increased significantly.
“That makes no sense whatsoever.” If that were true, I was never having children. That stare he’d fired at me when I walked into the bar made sure of that. I sank into the chair with my cup cradled in both hands. “Actually, he was nice.”
“Nice?”
“Okay, he was warm, engaging, chivalrous…not what I expected.” He didn’t try and jump my bones, is what I wanted to tell her. But I didn’t.
Mai leant her elbows on the desk, supporting her chin in her hands, and raised her brows. “What happened at the end of the night?”
I sipped my coffee. “I went home.” Mai’s eyebrow lifted another notch. “Alone,” I reiterated.
“What?” she shrieked. Her palms hit the desk with a loud slap. I shrugged, having nothing else to say. “I bet the goodnight kiss was uh-ma-zing.”
“There wasn’t one,” I said wistfully, stroking my cheek and recalling the delicious feeling of Nate’s skin against mine.
“Okay, now I’m really confused.” Mai frowned, her head tilting. “He can’t be gay.”
“Definitely not gay, Mai.”
“Are you? Because, you know, I would—if you wanted to.” I gaped at her, dumbfounded and exasperated. And slightly amused, but I tried not to show it.
“Nothing happened because I told him I wasn’t interested.”
“Jeez, I never thought you’d actually go through with it!”
“Believe me, I’m pretty shocked, too. I don’t know where it came from.” In truth, something about being in Nate’s presence made me feel fearless. That knowledge alone unnerved me.
“Wow, you’re stronger than I thought, Kara. I really expected you to get laid last night.” Mai smirked, clearly tickled by a thought she had. “I bet he was pissed off. Turned down twice by someone as gorgeous as you? His ego must be seriously dented.”
I chuckled feebly, a stab of regret flashing through me. I set my mug down and typed my password into the log-on screen.
“What did he say when he figured out he wasn’t getting any sweet lovin’?” she asked.
“I didn’t give him the chance to say much. I just jumped into a taxi and left.”
Lowering back into her seat, Mai crossed her arms, the smirk from earlier gone. “He didn’t even drive you?”
“He offered, but I had to leave…”
My vagueness was enough to spike her attention. She leant forward and narrowed her eyes. “You do like him, don’t you?”
I exhaled slowly, fixing onto the gradually disappearing company logo on the screen. If I lied, Mai would see straight through it. We hadn’t known each other long, but she read me well. Pleased with this titbit of information, even though I’d admitted nothing, her face split into the biggest grin.
There it was—the meddling face.
“It’s not happening,” I warned. “I could never trust him. Women fall at his feet. They did last night, even with me there. He won’t be short of company for long. I called him out on it, too.” An image of him with another woman caused a sharp stab of jealousy in my chest. That reaction irritated me.
“You called him a man-whore?” she snorted.
“He doesn’t want commitment, he wants some fun and thought I could be his latest plaything.”
“Thought he didn’t try it on?” Mai frowned. “Blake must’ve known if he wanted, he could’ve gotten in your panties.”
“Mai!”
“Guys like him know if a woman’s interested. If he really needed a fuck, those stupidly long legs wouldn’t be walking straight this morning.”
“That’s what’s baffling. I know he wanted to…”
“You told him no. Don’t be pissed he respected that.” A reasonable explanation. Blake had definitely begun the night with sex on his brain, but during the course of the evening, something had altered his way of thinking. Mai stood, shaking her hair so it fell around her shoulders. “Think he’ll call again?” she asked hopefully.
“I doubt it,” I snickered. “He went home alone. That should’ve told him all he needed to know.”
Mai eyed me dubiously, as I regarded my own thoughts with the same uncertainty.
A couple of knocks on my open door announced Michael’s arrival in my office. Honestly, I was glad for the interruption because there was nothing else to say.
“YOU didn’t have to get me this you know,” I told Mai as she set my lunch down on the desk in front of me. She twirled around so her red skater dress flared out, unable to keep still she was that excited. I laughed. “I assume you’re leaving now?”
“Soon as Mitchell gets his sexy ass here.” She was like a schoolgirl giddy with the first signs of love. They were going on a much needed weekend break, hopefully to put the spark back in their relationship. “If I don’t get me some this weekend I’ll explode!”
I pursed my lips. “Three weeks is not that long to go without sex, Mai.”
“How the hell do you cope?” she carried on. “Soon you’ll know how long it’s been by the length of hair on my legs, never mind other areas. Vibrators are good, but nothing beats a man.”
I shook my head, speechless.
“Seeing the girls later?” Mai asked, checking her mobile impatiently.
“Only for the one.” I first met Mai during one of my gym trials a month after landing in LA. For some reason, she latched onto me, taking me under her wing and adopting me as her friend. I was introduced to Robyn and Jenna a week later, and we’ve been close ever since. Both pretty brunettes and both single, Robyn works as a PA in Marketing at RED, Jenna a Recruitment Consultant for a Nanny Agency. We rarely crossed paths during the working day, so I enjoyed our Friday drinks.
The phone clasped tightly in Mai’s grip rang. “Hey babe, be there in a second.” She hung up as fast as she’d answered and dashed to the door. “Gotta go, K!”
I followed and stood in my doorway whilst she gathered her belongings. “Be gentle with him, Mai.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” she called back with a massive grin, waving as she disappeared.
“Enjoy Carmel.” I adored Mai. Hilarious, scatty, yet often wise beyond her twenty-three years, she was annoyingly astute and right, especially when it came to men.
We were complete opposites in many ways, yet similar where it counted. We bonded over a shared love of fashion and a strong work ethic. Under my guidance, she’d begun studying for her professional accounting exams and was flourishing. She always had my back, was full of encouragement—often misdirected—but I considered that part of her charm.
Most of all, I admired her honesty, an attribute I valued greatly.
MY lunch date with Millie turned into somewhat of a celebration after hearing that finally, after three years of trying, she’d signed her first recording contract. Her showcase at The Mint in a couple of weeks had two tickets with my name firmly stamped on them.
As I strolled home along Sunset Blvd, I was still very much the tourist. I always got a kick from people watching as I passed restaurants on the Strip, window shopping at overly expensive shops and soaking up the crazy sights and sounds of my new home.
Aside from initially struggling to secure permanent employment, I’d settled in well. With a great place to live and a few good friends, the vibrant city—with endless traffic, fantastic weather and shopping to die for—was a far cry from the sleepy village I’d grown up in. And very different to London where I’d lived since attending university.
Just as I dashed across the road, my mobile rang. Keeping an eye on where I was going, I dug it out from my bag, careful not to spill my grande cappuccino, and answered the unknown caller.
“Kara.” The dulcet rasp of Nate’s voice swirled its way down into my core, dragging all my concentration to the warmth now spreading up to my chest.
“Hi,” I spluttered, shocked to hear from him again.
“Hi,” he replied softly. I could hear his smile. “How are you?”
“Good…thanks.” I shook my head, hoping to clear the alcohol fuzz.
“I’m glad you’re all right. You should’ve let me take you home the other night. I worried about you.” His concern made me unsteady on my feet. After a beat, with his voice low and teasing, he added, “Taking a ride with me would’ve been far more enjoyable.”
“I imagine so,” I replied dreamily, forgetting to engage the slightly inebriated brain as an image of a very different ride came to mind.
“How’s the weekend so far?” Nate asked cheerfully.
“Fantastic!” I giggled at my over-enthusiasm.
“You sound happy.” I stopped and squinted up at the Chateau Marmont hidden behind the trees opposite. I was happy. Because I was talking to him.
“I’ve just had lunch with a friend. It usually entails alcohol.” With another sip of coffee, I headed towards home.
“You’re not driving are you?” he demanded.
“Of course not!” I was startled by the authority and concern in his voice, unsure why he deemed it necessary to ask.
I heard him sigh with relief. “Good. Any plans for tomorrow?” he asked in a tone far too composed for my liking.
“No. I might spend all day in bed.” I rolled my shoulders, realising how tiring the past week had been. Right now, I could think of nothing better than not getting out of bed for the day.
“Sounds like heaven. Let me keep you company,” he murmured gruffly. The tone rippled through me, my skin breaking out in goose bumps.
“You’re very persistent.”
“Do I strike you as being easily deterred?”
I remembered the steely determination in his eyes from before. “No.”
“So let me pursue you.” An image of his face from Thursday night flashed through my mind, reminding me of how, with one momentary lapse in composure, he’d appeared so bare and susceptible. As much as he wanted to bed me, I’d seen a glimpse of something deeper hiding beneath the surface. The pounding of my heart confirmed I liked what I’d seen.
“What are your plans? Apart from trying to gate-crash my private slumber party?” I grinned, unable to resist flirting.
“That depends.”
“On?”
“You. You’ve turned me down more times than I care to admit, but I hoped you’d reconsider my offer?”
“What offer?” I tossed my empty cup into a bin and pushed up the sleeves of my white shirt.
“Of dinner.”
I damn near fell over my own feet. “Are you serious?”
“Kara, never doubt me. I mean every word I say.” The seriousness in his tone reinforced his statement. My stomach twisted desirously, as I imagined his inexorable gaze sliding over me. “If not dinner, maybe something less formal instead?”
“Like what?” I asked, nervously.
“If tomorrow afternoon works for you, I’ll pick you up at one-thirty.”
“I need to know what to wear.” That sounded pathetic, as if I cared more about my appearance than what we could be doing. Together.
Nate laughed quietly. “Casual’s good.” Was he expecting whatever I wore to end up discarded on the floor?
Two men passed me, holding hands as they walked a beautiful Schnauzer. They flashed me matching mega-watt smiles. I sighed. Why did everyone make being in love seem so easy?
“C’mon,” he coaxed playfully, “no dinner. I promise.”
“Why do you want to see me again?” Over the past year, I’d been racked with insecurities, concluding I wasn’t good enough for anyone, let alone someone like Nate Blake.
“You really have to ask?”
“Yes, I told you I’m not interested in what you’re offering.”
“I know, but…” He sighed quietly. “I can’t keep away. I have to see you again to know if what I felt the other night was real.”
Hearing that he’d sensed the odd connection too made my pulse race. Neither of us could walk away from something that wasn’t what either of us was looking for. I wanted him, more than I’d wanted any man in a long time, irrespective of what he could or couldn’t give me. A small smile curled my lips as victory swirled low in my belly. He wanted me just as badly.
“So long as it’s casual,” I found myself agreeing. If Nate could hear the slight fluctuation in my voice, he’d have his answer as to how badly he affected me.
“This is my private number,” he confirmed. “Add it to your contacts.”
“Okay.” We both stayed silent for what seemed like forever, and it was strangely comforting. Eventually, I said, “See you tomorrow.”
Staring in bewilderment at my phone after I’d hung up, Mai’s words returned to haunt me. Maybe Nate wasn’t used to being rejected. Perhaps this was all simply a game to him?
Deciding a slightly merry, alcohol laced disposition wasn’t the right time to dissect the inner workings of his puzzling actions, I swapped my phone for my keys and let myself into my building.
It didn’t even cross my mind to question how he’d obtained my number. Or how he’d know where to find me tomorrow.