MAI PEERED UP from the photocopier as we neared, shocked and pleased in equal measure. “Morning guys,” she said, far too chirpily for this depressing Monday morning.
“Morning,” we replied together, causing further glee. Her animal print flared mini-skirt, scarlet vest and black ankle boots lifted my spirits. I loved when she wore this, because it made Michael flip, and not in a good way. He disapproved, so of course, that encouraged her to wear it more often.
I rounded my desk and tucked my handbag away. Nate set our overnight bags by the door and prowled around the office space, hands tucked into his pockets.
“I didn’t appreciate you had your own office,” he murmured suggestively, a devilish smile tugging his mouth.
“Don’t get any ideas.” My lips pursed as I returned to his side. “There’ll be no shenanigans going on in here.”
Nate stopped in front of me. “Shenanigans?”
“You know—entirely inappropriate behaviour for the work environment.”
He cocked his head. “Spoilsport.” Nate touched the bridge of my nose when I laughed softly. “I have to go, baby.” His voice was low and tormented.
“I know.” I gulped my sorrow away, smoothing the lapels of his jacket.
He held me at the nape and pressed his cheek to mine. His chest expanded on a deep breath. “I’ll call when I arrive,” he said, his lips to my temple.
“Take care.” I touched my throat, easing the lump rendering me unable to say more.
Nate nodded briefly and moved to the door. I watched him, eyed his taut arse when he bent down for his bag, his strong shoulders and back when he straightened. “Nate?” I called, stopping him in the doorway. “Being hard all week sounds painful. You might want to do something about it in the interim. Still thinking of me, of course.”
His eyes took on that addictive sparkle, his lips curving in that sexy, lazy way that made my heart thump. “Oh, I will,” he replied smoothly. “You can count on it. I expect you to have the same dirty thoughts about me, too.”
And with that, he was gone.
I leant back on the desk, mortified and aroused as hell. What on earth possessed me to suggest that to him? It felt good saying it, and I was certain he enjoyed hearing it, but still…
Nate stopped and spoke to Mai. She nodded, said something back, then came into my office. “That man is too handsome for his own good.”
“Hmm,” I acknowledged vaguely.
“So it’s all official now?”
I straightened, dragging my thoughts back to the present. “I wasn’t left with a choice after his performance on Friday, was I?” I moved my overnighter away from the door, then flopped into my chair, heaving a huge sigh.
“Well, I’m glad.”
“I could tell you were impressed.”
“You need it, Kara.” Mai shut the door, meaning she wanted a long chat. “Someone to take control. Leave it up to you, no one would ever know.” She was so insistent, so sure of what she said, because she knew I knew she was right. “That’s why I told him to do it.”
“What?” I spluttered, rocking back in my chair.
“At the party. You think you’re not good enough, but he’s crazy about you.”
I knew she’d been meddling, but had no idea she was giving Nate a sisterly talking to. After retrieving my phone from my bag I set it back under the desk. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the manila folder clasped in her hand.
Mai eagerly sprung to attention. “Before I show you,” she said, wandering over, “did you know your boyfriend has four private homes, owns numerous investment properties, the three companies under NTB Group, plus dabbles in a squillion other business ventures? Not to mention the dollars he’s made playing the stock market and—”
“Stop!” I held my hand up to cut her off. “Is that what it is? His business portfolio?” My head spun. Obviously I knew about NTB, but the rest? That was irrelevant. It wasn’t my concern.
“Oh no,” she smirked, “this is way more interesting.”
Dread filled my stomach. “What have you done?”
“It’s nothing bad,” Mai insisted, flipping open the folder. “See this woman?” She jabbed a finger to a photo of a woman, likely of Middle Eastern descent and probably a few years older than me. Brunette, petite, all curvy and so pretty it was unreal. “Yasmina Sadek,” she went on, spreading the remaining papers across my desk. There were many pictures, but she wasn’t alone in the rest. Nate was with her.
“Who is she?” I choked, coughing to remove the jealousy trapped in my throat.
“Ex-girlfriend maybe? These photos were from social events, parties and so on. The most recent was last month.” Mai sifted through them and pulled out an article dated June. “I’ve tried, but I can’t find any pictures of them doing normal shit together in private.”
I contemplated the evidence in front of me. It was bad enough I’d recently parted with Nate whilst he flew off to New York to get up to God knows what, with God knows who. Now, I was being confronted with images I honestly wished I hadn’t seen. “Thanks Mai,” I moaned, shoving them away. “Now I feel more inadequate than ever.”
“Why show me these?” I asked accusingly, miffed that my so-called friend would do such a thing. She knew I was paranoid about my body, mindful of my trust issues.
“Hey,” she said, a protective arm coming around my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you. You asked me about his other women, but I knew you wouldn’t do anything about getting any answers.”
“So you did?”
She nodded and squeezed harder. “I was hoping for a fugly chick, but it’s no surprise she isn’t. One look at you says Blake only pulls the gorgeous women.”
“Not helping,” I grumbled.
She hastily bundled the stash away. “You’re missing the point. There’s no evidence of him falling out of nightclubs with hundreds of different women. I’ve gone back two years—there’s nothing. Even with this one,” she said, waving the folder in the air, “it’s all business. He isn’t the playboy you think he is.” Mai walked purposefully to the shredder in the corner. “Either that or he’s hidden it well. But, you’ve been together, what, two weeks? There’s already pictures popping up everywhere on the internet.”
I watched her send all evidence of Nate’s past into tiny pieces of paper confetti.
“I’ll get you a cappuccino,” she said, edging to the door with her head down, “then we’ll plan tomorrow night.”
Deep down, her intentions had come from the heart. But all she’d managed to achieve was make me curious as to whom this mysterious Yasmina was, and how significant she’d been to Nate.
JUST before eleven I received a text: ABOUT TO TAKE OFF. WISH U WERE COMING WITH ME X
Now, more than before, I wished I was, too. Because my doubts over trust, combined with the uncertainty of not knowing what he was doing, all blurred with the images I’d seen of him posing with this attractive brunette on his arm, as a catalogue of the last two years of his life flashed before me. And to think it only ended last month…Was I his rebound?
Because I was distracted, it took about five minutes before noticing an unknown number had come up and not Nate’s name. Curious, I replied: HAVE U GOT A NEW PHONE?
A few moments later, I got the answer I secretly hoped for: YES X
“THESE smell divine, Kara.” Mai was busy arranging twelve roses in a vase she’d found in the kitchen cupboards. I’d received twenty-four exquisite English roses in milky creams and blush pinks from Nate with a handwritten note that still had me smiling:
The dirtier the better…Nx
I was under strict instruction from Mai to keep half here, and take the other half home to remind me of Nate wherever I was. Not that I needed it. Thoughts of him hadn’t left me since he had this morning. I leant forward for a sniff and discovered she was right.
“How was lunch with your parents yesterday?” I asked her, stroking a flower head fondly.
“Oh, you know.” Distractedly, she pushed the final stem into the water. “Ate far too much, as usual.”
I’d experienced a few Harvey family dinners and could sympathise. Her mother was a chef, so the food was always fantastic. That’s where Mai had honed her skills. “Talking of family,” I said, placing the lid back on the box of remaining roses I was taking home. “Nate’s invited me to his parents’ anniversary dinner in a few weeks.”
“You’re kidding?” Mai immediately stopped tidying up and gaped at me. I shook my head, smiling proudly. “And you still think he’s not serious about you?”
“I’m beginning to accept he might be.” You’re my girlfriend…those words had floated around my head since Nate said them. I collected the box and nodded to her to carry the vase. “Before then, I’m going to lunch on Sunday to meet them.”
“Holy crap!” We’d only taken a few steps when she stopped. “Meeting the parents. Twice! I haven’t met Mitch’s more than that in two years.”
I laughed. “Maybe because they live in Florida?”
“Geography is no excuse.” She dismissed my observation with a wave of her hand. “So, you and Nate—it’s going well?”
“Yeah,” I replied distantly as we entered my office. I set the box on the filing cabinet and made space on my desk for the vase, brushing aside the sandwich I couldn’t face eating at lunch. “It’s all so fast though. It’s scary.”
“Love is a funny thing. Happens when you least expect it and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”
Did Mai really think this was love? Much as I tried, there wasn’t another word I’d come up with to accurately describe my feelings. “I don’t know why, but when we’re together, everything makes sense. I spent so long freaking out about being used for sex, but he wants this entirely as much as I do.”
“Well, duh. I got that much the minute you floated in the office with the brightest smile on your face last Monday. You wouldn’t have given him that second chance if you didn’t think he was worth it.”
I checked my phone for missed calls or messages. “The party is black tie. I’ll need something fabulous to wear.”
“Ooh,” Mai clapped excitedly. “Love a good shopping spree. Especially when I’m spending someone else’s money.”
“Get back to work.” I shooed her out of my office with a smile. “Your vicarious break is over.”
I sank into my chair with only my thoughts for company. It would be hard, but I had to be mentally strong and believe that whilst we were separated we wouldn’t fall apart. The connection we shared was unlike anything ever experienced before. The sex, without question, was the best I’d ever had, but we weren’t just fucking. At least I wasn’t.
Realisation hit me like a blow to the chest. I spun the notecard from the flowers between my fingers. I was more than ready to take that leap of faith.
I’d already jumped.
DAMN alarm.
With tired eyes staying firmly shut, I found the culprit that had brought an early end to my delightful dream. Only when I couldn’t silence it did I appreciate my phone was actually ringing.
Excitement shot through me as I pressed the camera button on and waited. “Hello,” I answered, rubbing my eyes awake. After what seemed like forever, the image of Nate’s beaming face filled the small screen.
“Morning, sleepyhead. Did I wake you?” Nate asked with a hint of humour.
“Yeah,” I murmured, snuggling into the duvet, content spreading through me from seeing him and hearing his voice. “I was having a great dream.”
“Of me, I hope.” His eyes twinkled, his gorgeous face backlit with the daylight from the huge loft windows behind him.
I grinned. It was almost like he was laying beside me. Almost. “You might’ve made an appearance.” He’d done more than that. My vivid dream had been so real, I’m sure I actually climaxed in my sleep. My heart was still thundering in my chest.
“Well, it sounds like it was a good one. Need a minute to catch your breath?”
I flushed. The man could still embarrass me from over two thousand miles away. God, that sounded a long way. Too far.
“Where were we?” Nate asked. The rasp in his voice sent a tingle across my already stimulated skin.
“A deserted beach.”
“No audience?” he lilted.
I thought back to our erotic performance in front of the beach house windows, remembering how turned on I was seeing us making love. “No audience, Mr. Extrovert.”
His warm laughter brought a whole new sense of loneliness to mind. Nate had only been gone a day, yet I felt like I hadn’t seen him in weeks.
“Well, I can’t wait to make your dream a reality,” he purred, settling back. He was lounging on a bed set against the wall, with Manhattan as a picture-postcard backdrop.
“Good luck locating a deserted beach in LA.”
His smile widened. “I know one in Hawaii.”
My cheeks ached from my own grin. Stranded on a remote beach with Nate as my only distraction sounded idyllic. I stretched, not wanting to leave the comfort of my bed, as we discussed our plans for the day. Nate’s first appointment was in forty minutes, still he was in no rush to end the call. It pleased me to hear he wasn’t cramming a week’s worth of meetings into five days, having missed most of yesterday travelling.
“I’ve just had a great workout,” Nate said. “I thought of you while I showered.”
A very real image of him in the shower came to mind. Shimmering wet, tanned skin, droplets of water clinging to the ridges of his muscles…
My stomach fluttered, the pressure in my groin forcing me to squeeze my thighs together for some relief. Even though he had on a white t-shirt, I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Are you still wet?”
“Are you?” he countered with a raised brow, his voice deep and perceptive.
I sucked in a shaky breath. The sensation of my phone vibrating in my hand as the alarm went off made me laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”
“What can I say? My hands aren’t nearly as good as yours anymore.”
I gave myself a self-congratulatory hug. “And I miss you, too.”
That made him smirk. “Have a great day, Kara, I’ll call later.”
I forced myself out of bed and drew open the curtains. “I’m out tonight,” I reminded him, resting my forehead on the cool windowpane. “I’m taking Mai to cheer her up.”
“She missing me, too?” Nate drawled.
“Yeah, like every other woman in the building,” I shot back.
“It’s all a façade, Kara,” he sneered, slightly irritated.
“An incredibly beautiful one, though.”
There was a moment of silence before eventually Nate said, “They might be missing me, but you’re the only one I’m lost without.”
I blew out a breath, unable to respond. His voice was sad and dejected, like he’d rather be anywhere but the place he was. That, and the loneliness in his eyes, made me yearn to hold him in my arms even more. I wandered through the lounge towards the kitchen.
“You call me then,” he insisted, “let me know you’re home safe. I’ll be awake.” I reached for my mug and started preparing my first caffeine hit of the day. “Now, go get your coffee.”
AT 10 a.m.. I received a text: I MISS YOUR HANDS
I tapped a quick reply discreetly beneath the table, as I sat in a particularly boring meeting with Michael and some other accountants: I MISS YOURS TOO
When Nate’s immediate reply came back, it earned me a disapproving glare from my boss. I silenced my phone, resisting the temptation to read it until I got back to my office… MISS YOUR MOUTH
That made me giddy and hot. MY BODY MISSES YOUR BODY I sent back.
I heard nothing for fifty minutes until… I’M HARD
It was a mistake reading that as I sipped my water because I ended up snorting it instead. My phone vibrated again: YOU, YOUR MOUTH, FRANKLY ALL AREAS OF YOUR ANATOMY, HAVE KEPT ME THOROUGHLY DISTRACTED THROUGH MY MEETING
I looked up and saw Mai heading my way. YOU FREQUENTLY DISTRACT ME MR BLAKE I text back, followed by: GET BACK TO WORK X
Nate didn’t take heed of my suggestion as my phone went off again with another message: I MISS THE WAY YOU PULL MY HAIR THE MOST…
“Ready for lunch?” Mai called from the threshold of the office.
“Give me a second.” I couldn’t leave him hanging, so I sent another as I grabbed my bag, determined it would be my last: DO SOME WORK!
“Sexting the stud again?” Mai linked an arm through mine as we left my office.
“Hmm,” I replied, distracted by Nate’s fast response: CONSIDER ME TOLD. GOING FOR A COLD SHOWER X
I could’ve spent the rest of the day flirting, but my body couldn’t cope with the torment. I was drowning in Nate Blake. And that frightened me.
“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Mai peered up at me from beneath thickly mascaraed lashes, her wiser than her years observations sensing I was out of my depth. “Let’s get sticky ribs and wings, washed down with margaritas. I’m starving.”
WE arrived at my place a little after six. The plan was to change, then have something to eat at The Mint before Millie hit the stage around 10 p.m.
“Who’s the perv in the car?” Mai nodded at the unkempt man sitting in the driver’s seat of an old Lexus parked a few cars from mine. Even with us both looking, he made no attempt to hide the fact he was staring.
“Not sure,” I said, locking the car. “He was there the other night, too.”
“He’s still staring.” Mai hovered by the front doors after I’d let us in, glaring daggers at the mystery man. “Think he’s a paparazzo?”
I collected the handful of junk mail from my mailbox, tossing it straight into the recycling tub. Thoughts of my safety flashed through my mind. “Did he take pictures?”
“Not that I saw.” Whoever he was, Mai rewarded his persistence with a flip of her middle finger.
“Forget about him.” I dismissed his relevance as unimportant as we headed upstairs. But truthfully, I found his presence disturbing. Was he watching me regularly?
I got my answer the next morning.
I’d been buzzing after a great night out. Millie had rocked the club, convincing me and the few hundred revellers that she was going to be a huge star. When I called Nate at almost 4 a.m. his time, I’d indulged him in a little flirtatious phone sex, aided by the fuzz of alcohol for courage. I didn’t go all the way, still shy and diffident when it came to my body. It wasn’t for lack of yearning to bring myself to orgasm, which I did once I’d hung up.
I was keeping busy at work and succeeding in occupying my thoughts with things other than Nate, when I found myself the subject of yet another salacious story online. I stared at the blog page Mai had so kindly loaded onto my computer.
“Look on the bright side, K,” Mai urged, draping her arm around my shoulders. “They got your age wrong. Says you’re only twenty-one. Take it as a compliment.” Only Mai could find something positive in a trashy, misreported piece of journalism—and I used the phrase lightly.
The only accurate wording accompanying the photo of us embracing outside my apartment was the suggestion it happened before we spent the night together. And my name, clear as day in bold print underneath. The rest was a lame attempt to create problems, with references to how unstable our ‘long-distance’ relationship was, and suggestions neither of us was taking it seriously. That pissed me off the most and triggered yet another round of self-doubt.
“Someone who knows me has gone behind my back and divulged this information,” I seethed. They evidently knew where I lived, too.
“It wasn’t me,” she shot back.
“I know.” I patted her hand reassuringly as she squeezed my shoulder.
“The world is full of jealous bitches,” Mai said. “Get used to it, though. If you two are serious, there’s gonna be a lot more where this came from. Nate’s gonna take you out, show you off.”
I fell back into my seat, exhausted and mentally drained. I’d never dated someone in the public eye, and Nate was, no matter how reluctant he was to be in it. I had to toughen up and embrace the new direction my life was taking.
ROBYN joined us for lunch at a new sushi bar two blocks away. Enjoying some girlie time was a great distraction from the revelation that my anonymity had gone. I was returning to the girls after a bathroom visit when my phone rang from the depths of my bag.
I answered with a soft, “Hello.” The surge of ineffable emotion I got upon hearing the achingly tender, “Kara,” from Nate’s lips almost knocked me off my feet.
“How’s New York?” I asked, my grip tightening on the counter for support as I slid back onto the stool beside Mai. They both rolled their eyes and resumed their conversation.
“Too damn far from you,” he breathed. “This distance is killing me.”
The pressure in my chest grew. I turned my back to the girls for privacy. “And me.” The extent of how deep my ever-growing feelings were both terrified and calmed me. Before I became a sentimental mess, I changed topics. “What have you done today?”
Someone tapped me on my shoulder. I twisted and found Mai and Robyn ready to leave. I followed them out whilst Nate talked. I hated thinking of him working all night, having no respite from the demands of his job, so I was pleased to hear he’d had a reasonably quiet day and achieved a lot. I balked when he asked about my plans, coming to a standstill on the pavement.
“You don’t want to know what Mai has planned for me tonight,” I told him, cringing.
“Well, now I’m intrigued,” he murmured, his voice raspy and so incredibly sexy.
Even though he couldn’t see me, I covered my face to hide my shame. “She’s taking me to a pole-dancing exercise class,” I rushed out.
“Damn.” Nate exhaled. “Can—”
“No,” I cut him short, “you won’t be getting a private performance.” It might’ve only been a few weeks, but I’d learnt a lot about Nate, too. When he cursed under his breath, I knew it was with humour. “Need another cold shower?” I asked coyly.
“I’ve got five minutes to get myself together before I have to face the ten executives waiting in the boardroom.” I heard the creak of leather, followed by sounds of him moving. “Christ, you know how to push my buttons.”
The two friends who’d been marching ahead of me stopped and turned, finally noticing I wasn’t with them. My smile was filled with gratitude for the tiny brunette hurrying me up with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. Even though I’d kicked myself when she told me this morning, with great satisfaction, that I’d agreed to this crazy class last night, I appreciated her thoughtfulness in keeping me occupied.
After agreeing to talk again later, we said a long goodbye like a pair of young lovers, neither of whom wanted to hang up first. I jogged to catch them up after finally ending the call.
“Nate?” Mai asked.
“How is the sex god these days?” Robyn added, running her eyes over me with a gleeful smile. “Giving you a good time by the looks of it.”
“He’s missing K like crazy.” Mai relinked arms to cross the busy junction. “I’ve lost count of the number of phone calls. Blake’s fallen for our girl big time.”
“Tell me about it,” Robyn said with a rueful sigh. “Those kisses last Friday sizzled with sexual attraction. Talk about warning everyone else to back the fuck off.”
“See, K?” Mai nudged me. “Everyone sees it.”
“Gah, wish some would rub off on me. It’s been forever since I’ve had a guy so hot for me.” Robyn was gorgeous and got a lot of attention, but she was picky about who shared her bed.
“I know, right?” Mai continued, the two of them gossiping as though I wasn’t there. “Mitch is great in bed—when I get him there—but romance is on vacation at our place. A permanent one.” She tried making light of it, but the reality of how big the void was growing between them had started to sink in.
“It won’t last,” I pointed out. My eyes travelled up to the top floor of the building we all worked in, and my stomach dropped, knowing Nate wasn’t up there.
“Whatever.” Their unified statement made us all laugh.
“I wouldn’t give a shit for romance if I had that hot-ass in my bed every night.” Mai stepped into the revolving door, followed by Robyn.
I still hadn’t decided whether to be offended or proud that my girlfriends lusted so openly after my boyfriend. What I did note? I didn’t feel the immediate flicker of jealousy and doubt I once might have.
“I’d happily pick his dirty designer suits off the floor,” Mai went on, barely pausing for breath as she swiped through the security turnstiles. “Hell, I wouldn’t even complain about the toilet seat being left up, so long as he had me screaming his name out every night.”
“Mai, you have a remarkable knack of turning every conversation into something smutty,” I scolded quietly, hoping the few colleagues waiting for the lifts didn’t overhear.
“One of my many talents.” She blew on her knuckles then buffed them on her chest, smiling proudly.
I shook my head as we crowded into the car, answering the gentleman next to the panel when he asked what floor.
“What?” Mai’s innocent tone was entirely at odds with her lewd topic of conversation. “I expect to be old, like in my thirties, before my sex life dies. At my age, I should be coming like an express train.”
The greying man beside her who’d been listening with much interest received the full-on flirt, when Mai winked and rubbed his arm suggestively.
That girl was going to be slapped with a sexual harassment case one of these days. I could see it coming.
THURSDAY morning, I was still laughing. I’d died of shame at having to swing around a pole in front of ten strangers, but the degradation had been worth it, just to see Mai showing off. She’d convinced herself a backup career in the clubs was hers for the taking, should the need ever arise.
“You gonna show Blake some of these moves?” Mai had asked in the middle of a particularly acrobatic move.
“God, no,” was my hasty reply. But maybe one day, in the distant future, it might be fun…
I could barely contain my excitement, knowing that tomorrow Nate would be back. My eyes sparkled back at me as I grinned stupidly at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I finished up and headed back to my office, but got sidelined by the enormous bouquet of vibrant sunflowers taking pride of place on Mai’s workstation. “Wow, these are gorgeous.”
“Gorgeous flowers from a gorgeous man,” Mai cooed.
“Mitch finally got his act together and realised how lucky he is?”
“Nah-ah.” She beamed from ear to ear. “These are from Nate.”
“What?” My attention snapped to her expectant face. She held up the card so I could read the typed note:
THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF KARA. NATE.
The unfounded jealousy trying to rear its ugly head gradually abated.
“Can’t wait to get them home.” Mai tucked the card in her desk drawer. “Like you said, Mitch needs his ass kicking into gear. Another guy digging on me might make him rethink his attitude.”
I tilted my head, my lips pursed ruefully. Mai was as straight up as they came, not one to play petty games. Watching her head down that path reminded me how lucky I was being with Nate. “I’m sorry, Mai.”
“No biggie.” She shrugged.
“How about a blowout at Tram? Maybe a sneaky cocktail whilst we’re there?” I suggested for lunch, hoping to lift her spirits.
Mai straightened and grinned. “Now you’re talking.”