Chapter 13

 

Dra

 

I left Maddie and B at my house. I was needing to clear my head. Over the past couple of days, I have been making mental notes of everything that needed to be taken care of as soon we arrived back here in Colorado. The first thing on the top of my list is to get Sunshine squared away. I need to get my name off her lease and make sure she understands that we are over. I am married, and I have no intention of cheating on the vows I have taken with Maddie. That’s not the man I want to be. One day, many years from now, Betsy will have a man and I can’t treat Maddie poorly and let Betsy think that that is alright. Watching Maddie and B sleeping has opened my eyes to a few things. Maddie is not the only one that is going to need to make an adjustment to our new life. I think it is the reason I have not sealed our marriage yet. My brain is overthinking things. I know I should have cut Sunshine loose a long time ago. I should have cut her loose the day I found out about Betsy, but I was so consumed with anger at Maddie that I couldn’t get past it. I know I was only trying to spite Maddie and that is not very adult of me. I was being an asshole. That is not the type of man my parents raised me to be. I want to be a man that my daughter will be proud to call her dad and to do that I need to man the hell up and take control of the situation.

I drove around for a while, but I found myself in the parking area of Sunshine’s apartment complex. I see the red Camaro that I bought for her in her parking space and I pull up next to it and park my bike in its usual parking place. I know this is going to be a fight, but it is what it is. I get off my bike and walk over and knock on Sunshine’s door. I see the surprised look on her face when she opens the door. “Baby, why are you knocking on your own door? Did you forget your key at the clubhouse?” Sunshine asks me as she jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist. This is not what I need. I am a little shocked by her movements. If I hadn’t moved and caught her, she would be picking herself up off the floor. I try to move in the door but not before Sunshine has attacked my mouth and I would like to say I didn’t kiss her back, but I would be lying. I don’t want to be a complete asshole to Sunshine because at one time what we had was good. She’s just not the mother of my child. I manage to get her legs from around me and sit her down. Her taste on my tongue is not the sweetness that I know Maddie’s is. I shouldn’t compare but it is hard not to. I push her away from me. “What’s wrong babe? Are you tired from the long ride? I didn’t think you were ever going to get back from this run. It seems like you have been gone forever. I have missed you being in bed with me at night.” Sunshine is taking me in. I don’t know what she is looking for. I haven’t changed in the week I have been gone just my mindset and there is no way she can know that. I don’t bother to answer her questions. I walk into the kitchen and she is following right behind me. “Are you hungry? I need to do a grocery run today, but I can fix you some eggs and toast.” I go to her refrigerator and open it. There is beer, wine coolers and water to drink. I would love a beer, but it is too early for that. I reach for a water.

“We need to talk.” I turn and almost run right into Sunshine she is so close.

“Baby, I have missed you. Can’t we talk after you give me your cock? I need you. I have been lonely. I’ve been staying home and waiting on you and I need some of your special attention. Haven’t you missed me?” Sunshine is talking in that baby talk women do that gets on my last nerve. Why do women think that is sexy? I move around Sunshine as she is reaching for me. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. I point to the love seat.

“Sit.” Sunshine smiles at me and instead of sitting where I pointed she comes and sits beside me and then wraps her arms in mine and holds on.

“I like sitting close while we talk.” Sunshine leans in and tries to kiss me and I push her back.

“No, Sunshine. I mean it we need to clear a few things up.” I bring the bottle of water up to my mouth and take a long drink. Sunshine sits back and then she stands up and puts her hand on her hip and cocks it out.

“Why the hell are you wearing a wedding band?” I guess I should have thought about that but there is no going back now. I get right to the point.

“A couple of days ago I married Maddie in Vegas.” Sunshine is shocked. She opens her mouth to say something and then stops. I see her considering what she is about to say and then she turns around and starts pacing.

“Did you marry Maddie to get your kid away from her?” She stops pacing when she finishes the question and looks at me.

“Sunshine, you know I will do anything to be in Betsy’s life. I want Maddie, Betsy and myself to be a family. I think I owe that to my daughter to at least try.” I look at her and she is looking at me like I have grown two heads. “I will make this work. To do that I need to cut you loose and that means my name will be coming off the lease for this apartment.”

“You married the woman that kept your kid away from you for two years but me, the woman that stood by your side, you are cutting loose? How does that work, because it is not working for me?” Sunshine is too calm. I can see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes, but she hasn’t raised her voice at all. This is not the woman that I spent time with. She does not stay calm.

“I told you when I found out about Betsy things were changing. I will pay the lease off but after that you are on your own. I bought you a new car and furnished this place. I’ll pay all the utilities up and fill your cabinets with groceries and give you enough money to get by on until you can get a job. That’s fair.” I don’t want to leave Sunshine high and dry, but she needs to understand that this is over. Sunshine smiles.

“Is that right?” Sunshine leaves me sitting on the sofa and goes into her bedroom. I’m not quite understanding her reaction. It doesn’t take her long to walk back into the living room and she is holding something in her hand. She hands it to me. “It seems Maddie isn’t the only one that is going to be having your child Dra.” I look at the home pregnancy test and see the positive sign. This can’t be true. “So how are you going to pick one baby momma over another? At least I told you before our baby turned two.” I look at Sunshine and she looks like she just won the lottery. Then something occurs to me.

“I took you myself to get the shot and I used condoms. There’s no way you are pregnant, so cut the shit Sunshine. I thought you knew me better than trying to play me. If you don’t want to be out on your ass now, you better reconsider your little stunt.” I stand and drop the pregnancy test on the coffee table. “In fact, you know what, let’s go to the doctor right now. They can do a blood test to tell us if you are pregnant.” I look at Sunshine and she is shocked I called her on her shit.

“Alright baby, I’m sorry, but I am the one who has stood beside you through all this. I can give you a son, if you just give me a chance. You can be there for the whole thing. We can have it all. I’m not pregnant, but I want to be. You have feelings for me. You gave me your patch and I am wearing your ink. Don’t throw us away. Not for a damn woman that hid your daughter from you for two years. She doesn’t deserve you.” I know this is all on me. I see the hurt and tears in Sunshine’s eyes. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out and look at it. Krill needs me at the clubhouse. The best reason to cut this short.

“I won’t be back after today. If you need something call my cell. I will take care of paying the year lease we have and then transfer it completely to you. I will put some money in your account for utilities and enough for you to get by on until you can find a job. I’m sure the club has an opening at the bar if you want your old job back.” I turn to start to leave.

“Have you even given her your patch yet? In all this you have never said you love her. I know you never told me that you loved me, but don’t you have some feelings for me left? Can I have you inside me just one more time, Dra?” Sunshine is almost begging, and I hate it. I also hate that she asked me the two questions I have no answers for. I walk over to Sunshine and pull her to me. She comes willingly, and she puts her arms around my neck. I catch her two arms with my hands and hold on to them. I am not tempted at all by Sunshine, but I don’t want to hurt her any more than I need to. I need her to know there is no hope for us. I kiss the top of her head and then move back from her.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you, but I never told you I loved you because that was not what we were about. I do care about you as a person and if I can help you I will, but I won’t cheat on my wife. You can still come around the clubhouse as long as you know your place and someday you will find the man for you, but I am not that man, so let’s both walk away from this with some dignity and respect for each other.” I don’t wait for her answer. There’s nothing more to say.