CHAPTER FIFTEEN

LAURA

 

I COUNT TO twenty-four before I leave the movie. Ava looks at me, her lips pressed into a thin line. I tuck my head deeper into my chest, as I quickly leave the room.

There isn’t many around as I make my way quickly to the library. I wonder what will happen when I get there. Will it be just Tai who greets me, or will Craig really be there? If he is, what happens then?

Shut up Laura I tell myself as I push open the double doors that bring me to the dark hall. At first this part made me jumpy now I let myself smile. It’s not just the library that I love, it’s this hall. It’s my secret hall that leads to my secret room. I won’t meet anyone along the corridor or in the library and that makes me happy. Well there’s only one person who might be waiting for me in the library.

“I wasn’t sure if you would come,” Craig says as I close the door softly behind me. Seeing him here sends my stomach into a spin.

“I had nothing better to do.” I tell him and clamp a hand over my mouth at the rude statement. Craig’s lips twitch before he laughs. His laughter makes my pulse spike.

“Honest. I like that.” His smile still lingers as I occupy myself while looking for Tai. I know Craig follows me through the bookshelves, I spot his blue t-shirt between gaps every once in a while. I like that he is following me.

“How’s your leg?”  I ask, not looking in the direction that I know he’s in.

“Better.”

I smile.  His reply is closer than I expect. “So whatever happened with your report?” I have wondered about it a few times and always wanted to ask. I spot a black furry ball sleeping in an empty cardboard box.

“I cut my leg from a bench outside.” I had noticed the bench that was destroyed one morning. No doubt by Craig. But it didn’t make sense. Why blame Michelle instead?

I look up at him as he walks out from behind a bookshelf.

“And is that what really happened?” My question is too personal; I can see him closing off as he grins.

“Yes. Why are you here?” He asks and I don’t like the question so I turn my back on him. I scoop up Tai who opens his eyes lazily before closing them again as I tuck him against my chest. While I’m gathering Tai, Craig lights up a cigarette.

“Because I want to be.” I tell him while looking up. I don’t expect the nod he gives me or that look of understanding.

“I get that.” He says as I sit on the ground, my back against the shelves. Craig slides down the other side, our toes nearly touching.

“Why are you here? You always seem so out of place.” I tell him.

“I’m an addict.” My heart skips a beat. The word addict sounds so dirty and the image it pulls from me is someone thin, pale and pretty much dying looking. Someone you shouldn’t trust. How many horror stories I had heard about addicts breaking into homes to get money for drugs. Now I was looking at one. He didn’t seem like an addict. I swallow the bile that rises in my throat. When I don’t respond, he blows smoke along with more words out of his mouth. “Heroin, the same as my mother.” My heart squeezes. Was she the one that got him into it? I’m trying to picture their home. Grubby, maybe needles on the floor. It’s cold and never has food in the fridge. Now I look at Craig again and struggle to put him in this picture I am painting.

“I’m sorry.” I respond while I stroke Tai.

“I’ve been clean for a year now.”

I smile at Craig. “Congratulations.” He does a little bow before taking another puff of his cigarette. Him smoking so much makes sense now. It’s a substitute.

“Thank you.”

“My sister took her life and I couldn’t handle it, so I ran here the day of her funeral.” I blurt out the truth while sinking my fingers into Tai’s fur. I don’t look at Craig but when his foot hits mine, I look up.

“I’m sorry, Laura.” His voice is honest and open. I swallow and nod not wanting to get emotional.

“Do you have any siblings?” I ask instead.

“Nope.” Craig sucks in his lower lip and releases it, the moisture is still on his lips, making them perfect for kissing. My cheeks heat at the thought. “I never knew my father and my mother was an alcoholic and an addict.” My eyes snap from his lips to his eyes. The word addict once again I am struggling with. I want to touch him, to comfort him in some way, when I think of Craig as a child. Being brought up in a household like that. I want to tell him I’m so sorry. But as my mind stumbles clumsily around, he speaks.

“I’ve made a lot of bad choices and hurt a lot of people.” As Craig talks, he isn’t looking at me now he’s looking over my head as his demons haunt him and fill his eyes with pain. My heart thumps when he says he’s hurt a lot of people. Now my mind jumps to him hurting people for money. But I have no right to judge. Here is someone who I thought was shallow and so put together telling me the truth and being so honest. I felt like I owed him a piece of me.

“I have one other brother and a sister. Both younger. My mother hates me and my father…” I know I am babbling but I want the pain in his eyes to stop. Now that I speak of my father my brows furrow. An all too familiar ache starts in my stomach and pushes its way up to my chest, where it sits making the air thinner and harder to draw in. Tai screeches as I squeeze him too tightly and he jumps from my lap; I can’t breathe.