CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

CRAIG

 

“HEY,” I SAY to Michael as I sit down beside him; it’s a first to be so early. Michael leans in and sniffs me loudly. “Seriously, what are you doing?” I tilt away from him.

“What are you wearing? I love that scent.”

I’m used to compliments from guys and girls about my cologne and yeah I smell good, but with Michael the compliment is different. I narrow my eyes at him hoping he’ll move the fuck back.

“Look, I’m trying to get laid, and since you get all the luck…” He trails off with a shrug but yeah I get it.

I grin. “Sorry man. But your face is too ugly. No amount of cologne will help you.” He tries to strike me, but I jump away laughing.

“Your mama didn’t just drop you on your head, you face planted.”

He’s up now and I move behind the chairs using them as barrier between me and him.

“Didn’t hear your mama complain when I was balls deep in her.” This time I’m jumping across the chairs my hands balled into fists.

“I’m joking with you. Bad joke.” Michael raises his hands in defeat, his face is grey.

“Don’t ever mention my mother again you dick.” Ava, Maria and Michelle enter at the same time and I drop into my seat.

“Saved you a seat Michelle.” Michael is back to his usual self, the fear that I had glimpsed a moment ago gone. Michelle sits beside him without breaking the chair. My focus is on the door waiting for Laura, who hasn’t arrived yet. I glance back at Michelle as guilt churns in my stomach. It’s a very unusual feeling, but I have an overwhelming urge to say something nice to her in hopes it erases the bad thought. I really look at her now. My eyes drawn to her chin were hairs sprout out of it; it reminds me of a spud that’s been forgotten at the back of a cupboard.

Focus on the positive.

My eyes roam over her pink tight fitted top and trousers, my eyes hit all the bumps, folds and lumps that make me look away.

Laura still hasn’t arrived and I’m glancing at the door again.

“Looking for your new girlfriend.” The sweet bitterness in Ava’s voice has me glancing at her.

“New would imply I had an old girlfriend.” I tell her. Her nostrils flair and she flicks her hair over her shoulder. I ignore her as I return my focus to Michelle. Her hair looks washed today, that’s my entry point for a compliment.

“Your hair looks nice today Michelle.”  I say it and silence descends on the class. Micelle’s eyes are so wide as she looks from me to Maria who mimics Michelle’s stare. It’s unsettling to say the least.

“Thank you Craig.” Michelle beams at me like I’m a God who deserves a spotlight and I find myself genuinely smiling back.

“You’re trying to hit on my woman.” The sad part about the statement is Michael isn’t joking. I flicker a gaze at him and shake my head. I don’t have to justify that statement with a response thankfully as Olivia arrives, as she steps aside there is Laura with her hair tied back and she smiles at me. My stomach flips as she moves across the room. The black jeans don’t fit her very well, but once we get out of here, it’s something I will rectify. My mind trips and stumbles at the thought of a future with her. I’ve never really thought of the future with anyone. Growing old wasn’t exactly an option for me at times.

I love the color red on her; she wears it now, a small tight red t-shirt. That shows off the top part of her body perfectly. It’s to be appreciated. When she sits down beside me, her smell floats everywhere and my pulse spikes.

“Okay let’s get started, I want to hear the five things you have learned about each other.” Olivia looks down at her sheet that she has attached to a clip board.

“Michelle and Ava you were paired together.” As Michelle stands I can see there’s tension between her and Ava. Ava smiles up at her like she’s a supportive friend, but it’s in the way she holds her eyes, I’ve seen it before she’s telling her not to fuck up.

“Ava is really sweet and caring.” As Michelle speaks I know whatever she’s going to say has been rehearsed. I find myself pushing my leg against Laura’s.

“Ava has been the victim of bullying here in this facility but she chooses to forgive her bullies even if they still secretly torment her.”

I lean across Michael and look at Ava. “What the fuck Ava. You have her spinning that shit.”

“Craig. Disrupt my class one more time and you’re out.” I clench my jaw and fists as I look away from Ava. Laura leans her leg into me with force and I look at her, my body relaxing. Her big brown eyes are so filled with goodness that anyone can see she wouldn’t hurt a soul.

“Michelle, you seem to have misunderstood the assignment. I want both you and Ava to learn about each other, not events that are happening now.” Michelle sits down red faced and I want to take my compliment back, she can’t look at me even as my eyes burn into the side of her red jaw.

“Ava you too. I want you to rethink the direction you’re going with that information. I want Michelle to get to know Ava, not the events and I want you to get to know Michelle.” My eyes flicker to Ava who smiles sweetly.

“Of course Olivia. It’s just been traumatic on me and I’ve shared this experience with Michelle, not thinking she would tell the class. Honestly I’m feeling slightly embarrassed.” She pats Michelle’s hand like she’s a fucking dog. How had I not seen how manipulative she was?

I was manipulative too.

That’s why I hadn’t noticed. The thoughts that swirl around in my mind have me shifting in my seat. Everyone I manipulated for drugs, sex, or just because I could. Thankfully it’s cut off as Olivia speaks to Laura.

“Laura would you like to start.” I don’t look at Laura, instead I crack my neck and tilt my head, I want to look relaxed, but my heart is picking up pace. I’m nervous and excited to hear of what Laura thinks about me.

“Craig’s really good at drawing. No that’s not even the right way to say it. He’s so gifted that the drawing looks like it might come to life.” She looks at me and my stomach tightens, her soft smiling eyes focus on me. I know everyone can see how she’s looking at me. I’ve seen it a thousand times before, it’s normally when I bail and leave a broken heart behind me. But with Laura it makes me feel tall, it makes me want to stay.

“He’s such a good person.”  I wait for someone to snicker or interject but no one does. It’s not what Laura is saying it’s how she’s saying it. It sounds so fucking true. Like if I wasn’t me I would believe it too.

“I have never meet anyone in my life who tries to change so much for the best, even when the cards are stacked against him.”

“He’s so funny, that he makes me forget where I am sometimes.” I suck in a breath at the emotion in Laura’s voice. Her eyes are glistening and I’m so shocked at how she sees me. She’s looking at me directly now and my puljjjse racjjes.

“I hope one day you can forgive yourself for what landed you here, because your one of the good guys.” My jaw is clenched as my heart pounds in my chest, and for the first time in my life I wonder if I’m going to pass out.

Grow a pair of balls.

Everyone is clapping, and I focus on that. Not the balls growing but the clapping.

“Craig.” Olivia is saying to me, encouraging me to speak now.

“Well that’s a hard act to follow.” I say and soft laughter bounces around the room. It eases some of the tension in my shoulders. I look to Laura and I’m finding this too hard.

Everyone is waiting and looking at me.