CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

LAURA

OPENING MY EYES is painful. The whiteness of the room makes me blink. I move only to find I’m strapped to a bed.

What the hell?

I sit up as far as my body will allow. There is nothing in this room. Craning my neck I try to see what’s behind me. A large mirror takes up most of the wall. I stare at myself, with wide wild eyes.

Who’s watching me?

My head shoots to the door as it opens and I don’t let Rose into the room before I start asking questions.

“Why am I strapped to a bed? What’s happened? Who’s watching me?”

Rose closes the door and gives me a gentle smile. “Laura relax for a moment. You are safe.” She takes out a light and asks me to lie back, I do so. As I dig my nails into my palms, she shines the light into each eye.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” I squish my eyes up as too much comes at once.

“I don’t know. Why am I here?” I pull my body up again as far as the restraints will allow. Rose places a gentle hand on my chest.

“Laura just relax. It’s okay.” I take a quick look around the room again. Nothing is okay.

I yank against the restraints. “This isn’t okay or necessary.”

She’s nodding like what I’m saying is getting through to her and I relax.

“You attacked a member of our staff. So you where sedated and brought here.”

I laugh. “I’m not violent. I wouldn’t…” Blood dripping from a split lip flashes and I squeeze the image back.

“Craig.” I whisper his name.

“He was holding me. I was screaming.”  I lie back fully and loosen my fingers as I stare at the ceiling.

“I’m Violet.” Tears run from the corner of my eyes and down my face. I’m not crazy, I’m a normal girl. But to think I created Violet makes me want to run away from my crazy self.

“Good girl.” I glance to Rose. “I’m crazy?” I ask. She shakes her head slowly. “No Laura. You where protecting yourself from some very ugly truths.”

Now I look away as I realize that those hands that I had believed touched Violet, really touched me.

“The day he took me to the basement I was wearing a violet colored dress. That’s when he first abused me.”

I’m laughing now and crying with a loss that wasn’t even real.

“That’s where her name came from.” I inhale a shaky breath.

Rose is removing my restraints and now I want to tell her to put them back on because I don’t know who I am anymore. Or what I’m capable of.

“The nurse I hurt. Is she okay?”

“Yes she will be fine. It was a cut lip. She was lucky.” Salty tears drip into my mouth, my tongue flicks out and licks them.

“Violet.”  I say it again, but it feels so different she’s becoming a photo taken while someone is moving. Blurred, repeated, bright.

I know now she is not real, but it’s so hard to really accept that I made her up.

“You had said my mother signed me in,” I can only remember snippets of that. I remember a hospital that I woke up in after they pumped my stomach. Mary, it was Mary who found me.

Mary was crying. I cover my mouth with my hand as the image pushes its way to the forefront of my mind. How deep had I buried everything? I had told my mother about Violet being abused and this is where she had dropped me off. She hadn’t asked who Violet was. Or why I would say that about Dad. She had given me a curt nod signed me out of the hospital. Helped me into the car and brought me here.

Certified Crazy.

My mother dropped me off like a piece of luggage. Not protecting. Not caring. What mother does that to her child?

“Has she ever rung to see how I’m doing?”  I ask but don’t look at Rose.
“No Laura. I’m sorry.” My tears have all dried up now and I just want to go to sleep. I’m so tired.

“I’m sorry for screaming at you Rose.” I tell her closing my eyes and turning on my side. A warm hand touches my back.

“It’s okay Laura.”