CRAIG
“How is your awareness of judging others going?”
“Great. I’ve been really working on it.”
Rose smiles. “That’s great, Craig, I’m so glad you listened.”
It wasn’t you.
“Thanks for having that chat with me.” I can see the suspicion in her eyes and I tone down my sarcasm.
“We had chatted about your reasons for starting to use drugs, I want to touch on that a bit more today. Okay?”
Can’t fucking wait.
“Sure. I went to lots of parties; drugs were easily available, and I had some fun times.” It was true in the early days, women, parties and drugs were all that mattered, and I was able to continue to attend college and live a semi normal life.
“I want you to fast forward to the moment you knew the addiction had gotten a hold of you, had changed you.”
That moment was as clear in my mind and one of my most shameful moments. Now I can’t look at Rose so I focus on the ground.
“I was with a friend. She wanted to help me; she had thought her boyfriend at the time was cheating on her. I know that’s the only reason she found me and decided to help me. But I got a better offer.” I rub my hands through my hair, while shooting a quick glance at Rose. She just nods allowing me to finish.
It’s the ultimate punchline. I gave Amber over to mobsters for drugs, not caring if she lived or died. Thankfully she lived. I remember it so clearly. They were putting her in the trunk of a car as she screamed for my help. I squeeze my eyes shut with shame. I had done nothing to stop it, even if I wanted to I really couldn’t. They would have just killed me.
A knock at the door ends our session. A commotion in the communal room has broken out and Rose is needed. I let out a breath. A part of me wants to finish my story. It’s the first time I’ve been honest with Rose, but relief that I don’t rises to the surface.
“We’ll finish this later, Craig.” I’m out of the seat and out the door quicker than Rose. I hate talking about that moment in particular. I’ve done a lot of bad shit, but that was the worst. Amber was shot because of me, her boyfriend, who happens to be a big-time mobster, will want blood for what I’ve done. That’s why I can’t leave this place. I’m a dead man walking.
I push all thoughts of Amber and Emmett from my mind as I enter the communal room. I’m only just in the fucking door when Ava swings around, her eye is black.
“He told her to hurt me.” All eyes are on me now. Michelle, Maria and even Michael look at me like I’m the devil’s spawn. My eyes keep scanning, roaming, looking for Laura but she’s not here.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“See, he admits it. He knows what he told Laura to do.” I’m taking quick steps trying to stay calm, but my heart keeps jack hammering in my chest. I want to slap the truth out of Ava. Laura would never hurt anyone.
“Where is she?” I’m toe to toe with Ava.
“You should see her face.” She whispers and smiles, even as tears rush down her face. I want to wrap my hands around her throat, but I fight to keep them at my side. “He did this!” She’s screaming hysterically again, and I have to step away or I will do the unthinkable and hit her.
“Calm down, Ava. Who did this?” Rose steps in and I take another step away.
“Laura.” She sniffles now.
“Where is she now?” Rose asks and I’m waiting to hear so I can reach her and make sure she’s okay.
Ava looks at me and by the hidden smirk on her face, I know she’s wasting my time. Within seconds I’m out the door and making my way to Laura’s room. She’s not there; my eyes search the ground for a blood trail… anything as my mind conjures up horrible images of Laura hurt.
There is one place Laura would go to hide. I burst into the dark hall and slide on something. I get my balance and look down at what caused me to slide, a full bottle of water. I’m running as my heart pounds in my chest.
“Laura.” My eyes snap all around the room. My chest tightens. “Laura.” Nausea is rising in my throat as I race past the bookshelves.
“Laura.” My roar sends my stomach plummeting, and then I hear her.
“Yeah.” She sounds so quiet like someone who’s afraid. I’m moving past the bookshelves and jumping over all the crap that lies around until I come to the old desk.
I’m on my knees holding her bewildered face, looking for marks but I can’t see anything.
“Ouch.”
I lean back as she cradles her fist in her hands. “Ava said she hurt you.” I’m still searching and checking.
“Craig.” My name is said with a soft laugh. I stop my search and look at Laura. “I hurt her and in turn, hurt my fist.”
I rock back on my hunkers and give a shaky laugh as I let the adrenaline go. She’s fine. Ava was fucking with me. Rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hand, I glance up at Laura who looks bewildered. “I thought she had hurt you.” I say it softly now with a smile. “I want to kiss you.” And I do. Right now it’s all I want. She looks so perfect, even in such a chaotic place. I wet my lips.
Laura’s eyes widen and her body freezes. My stomach flips as my eyes move to her lips. Her small pink tongue darts out and wets them. I take this as approval but still I move in slowly always so afraid to startle her, her chest is so still I wonder if she’s breathing.
“Breathe, Laura,” I tell her, and she lets out a breath as the color returns to her face. My hand finds her face and this moment feels different than all the hundreds of moments I’ve had with a woman.
I move closer and Laura’s eyelashes flutter closed. She’s breathing heavy through plump, moist lips, I let her breath race across my lips and I feel my trousers tighten. I soak up this moment, looking at her with her eyes closed. She’s perfect.
“Craig…” Laura’s eyes snap open and I lean out at the sound of Desmond’s voice. What the fuck does he want. I hold up a finger to Laura’s lips, the contact makes me groan internally. I want to kiss her so much and now I want to punch Desmond in the face as he calls out again.
“Hello. I know you’re in here.” I back away from Laura and try to think.
“Where’s Tai?” I ask Laura, she shakes her head like she’s coming out of the daze of just waking up. I grin, hoping it’s me that has cast that spell over her. But right now I have no time to gloat.
“I’m not sure.” She finally responds. Desmond is still howling hello and he’s getting closer. “I’ll get him out of here. But get Tai and once I leave, you give me a minute and then follow. Once Desmond sees me they will lock this place up.”
Laura nods quickly and I lean in landing a kiss on her forehead. It’s not what I want but it’s the best I can do right now. “See you on the other side.” I tell her with a wink, before I reluctantly get up and move towards the croak of Desmond’s hateful voice.
“You looking for me?” I ask him suddenly. He spins around on his false knees, nearly toppling. He’s ancient and a half robot at this stage.
“This area is off limits.” He has a flashlight in his left hand that he points at me. Why do security think they are so powerful? It pisses me off.
“Calm down, Des. I’m leaving.” I take a cigarette from my pack and light it.
“No smoking here.” He’s growling now and starts to follow me and the trail of smoke I blow out towards him towards the door. His keys hit his artificial hip with a ting.
“Can I ask you something?” I say as we pass the door leading out of the library.
“No, just keep walking.” I raise both hands and walk backwards as Desmond clicks on the flashlight.
“Your eyes that bad you can’t see shit?” I ask and blow smoke into the light, causing a fog of it to swirl and dance in the light. He doesn’t answer me. And I grin. “On a serious note, how do you get through metal detectors, you must be half cyborg at this stage.”
“You’re a pup.” He spits. I grin at his angry tone and walk front ways; he keeps shining the torch in my face. I spend the next few seconds walking like a robot. I only stop when we get out of the hall and into the facility.
“Put out that cigarette.” Desmond switches off his torch and slips it into a little pouch on his leg. I need him to go away from the door so that Laura can come out without getting caught.
I take a deep drag of the cigarette. “It’s funny, Des, that’s what your wife said before I gave her some Craig.” That’s all it takes he’s hobbling towards me.
“Don’t you speak of my wife.” I move slowly and once we reach the end of the hall, I pause afraid he might dislocate a hip or have a fucking heart attack with how deep he’s breathing.
“I’m sorry for speaking about your wife like that.” I stop walking and quench the cigarette between my fingers. He’s huffing and puffing.
“That area is out of bounds.” He points at the double doors at the end of the hall now. I’m nodding as he walks past me just as Laura appears with Tai in her arms and I smile at the smirk on her face. We’d make a great pair.