Cole

 

The shop is the most tense I have ever seen it. I dread going there every day. I thought Darren and Nan fighting was the worst it could get, but now, it’s horrible. This is Darren’s first week back, and all he does is stand at the doorway, glaring into the shop. He only really has conversations with me, Todd, Nan, and J. If whoever has been stealing doesn’t notice the change, they are as stupid as they appear to be. Everyone still comes to work every day. Dinner the other night proved nothing.

 

I’ve been working on a few minor brake changes and inspections. It’s monotonous, which I am happy for. I see J walking across the shop, a new work order and keys in her hand. I wipe my hand on the grease rag and walk over to her before she can walk outside.

 

“So… I’m thinking gym, pizza, then you for dessert tonight.”

 

“Oh, really?” she says, smiling up at me and crossing her arms over her chest. “What if I’m not down with that plan?”

 

“Which part are you having a problem with?” I ask, picking up a piece of hair that’s fallen from her ponytail and sliding it through my fingers.

 

“I’m not really feeling the gym tonight. I think we can work up enough of a sweat to justify not going, don’t you?”

 

I tuck the hair behind her ear and lean close so I’m not overheard by anyone. “I love how you think. I’m looking forward to working up a sweat with you, getting clean, then doing it all over again.” My breath on her ear makes her shiver. The wanting in her eyes is enough to get me hard. I lean in closer until my hardness rests on her stomach. “This is going to be a bitch to hide all day.” I smile down at her.

 

“You, my friend, brought that all on yourself. Good luck keeping that under control for another four hours.” She winks and moves around me to walk into the lot to find her next car.

 

Damn woman knows exactly what she does to me. If I can’t get this under control, and quickly, so will everyone else.

 

Once I am able to calm my dick down, the rest of the day is uneventful. J and I continue passing looks at smiles to each other until she ran into a problem with a transmission, then she was all business. As I start cleaning up my bay for the night, my phone rings from the toolbox. I used to keep it in my pocket, but breaking two phones quickly stopped that habit. Now I throw it in the top drawer of my toolbox. I look at the caller ID and smile.

 

“Hey, Monkey. I’m just about done for the day. Can you give me ten minutes to clean up and I’ll call you right back?”

 

“Cole, I…um…”

 

Something sounds off. “What is it, Belle?”

 

“It’s fine. Finish what you are doing. We can talk later.” I hear a car horn in the background.

 

“No, we’re going to talk now. What’s going on? Where are you?”

 

It’s only three thirty. I know she keeps late hours in her line of work because they have a walk-in policy. If someone walks in who needs counseling, they can’t turn them away for “normal” business hours. Belle is never out of the office until at least six.

 

“I think I made a stupid decision, but I had to do it. I have to see him…”

 

“Belle, you’d better not be talking about Stan.”

 

“Cole, hear me out. Mom’s been calling almost daily. She wants to see me. He wants to see me. She said she has some things of Katy’s she wants to give me.”

 

“You know that’s an excuse, right? She would say anything to get you there. Please, tell me you know that.”

 

“I don’t want to risk it, Cole. If she still has anything of Katy’s, I want it. I hate that they have anything that was hers. Katy would hate that.”

 

“Where are you? I’m coming with you.”

 

“You can’t. You can’t be anywhere near him. You’ll break your parole.”

 

“Like I give a fuck. You are not going there alone. Where are you meeting?”

 

“Cole, I didn’t want to upset you.”

 

“You called me, remember? You wanted me to know what you were doing for a reason. Now, tell me where you are meeting them.”

 

“Shit. I am going to their house.”

 

“Son of a bitch. Wait for me. Do not go in until I get there. I am leaving right now.”

 

I throw everything I’m holding into the top drawer of the toolbox and run into the office.

 

“Nan,” I say a lot louder than I mean to. She jumps and looks up from the paperwork she’s working on. “Sorry. I’m out. I have something to handle. Can you let J know I need to take a rain check on tonight?”

 

“Sure, but shouldn’t you tell her yourself?”

 

“I don’t have time to get into it. Please, Nan, just tell her.”

 

When she nods, I grab my coat hanging on the wall and rush out of the customer entrance. This door is farther from my truck, but I can’t risk running into J. I don’t have time for the conversation. I need to get to Belle.

 

I jump in, start it, and throw the truck into gear. I step on the petal so hard, I fishtail out onto the street, throwing rocks behind me. I have always known where my mom and Stan moved to, but I’ve never gone there. Other than the fact it’s in my parole restrictions to stay at least five hundred feet from Stan I have had no desire. There is nothing for me there. There is nothing for Belle, either. I don’t know what kind of sick game they are playing, but I knew something like this was going to happen eventually. I knew she was going to let them in. Her heart is so big. Sometimes that’s not a good thing.

 

I’m halfway there when my phone rings. Thinking it’s Belle, I answer without looking at the ID. “I’m almost there.”

 

“You are almost where? What’s going on, Cole? Nan said you have to cancel tonight, then you tore out of the parking lot like a lunatic.”

 

“J, I can’t do this right now. There is something going on with Belle and I need to be there.”

 

“What’s going on? Why couldn’t you tell me about tonight yourself?”

 

“J, I can’t. Not right now.”

 

I hit the END button and throw my phone onto the bench seat. I hate being so short with her, but I honestly don’t have time to explain my past right now. I will eventually, but not right now. I just hope it’s not too late when I do.

 

My mind is on J as I drive the rest of the way. Turning onto their street, I slow, spotting Belle’s car parked at the curb…empty.

 

Damn it! I knew she wouldn’t wait for me.

 

I pull into the space behind her car and turn off the truck. I look out the window at the house. Anybody can sense the evil that sleeps behind the door. My hands grip the wheel tightly.

 

I can do this without killing him. I won’t let him win. Not again.

 

I push open the door and head for the porch. Taking the steps two at a time, I knock on the front door. I hear my mom yell, “Just a minute.” The door opens. The smile on her face falls. “You can’t be here.”

 

“Where’s Belle?”

 

“She’s talking to your father. I should have known she’d call you.”

 

“That fucking monster isn’t my father. You mean my rapist, the murderer of your other daughter? You remember her, don’t you, Mom? Katy? She was full of life, a ray of fucking sunshine until he took that from her, from all of us.”

 

I didn’t mean to say all that. I opened my mouth and it just fell out. Anger that I have been harboring for years suddenly bubbles to the surface. My body vibrates with hate. Hate I have never experienced before for her, for him. The way she stands in front of me with her hand to her chest, I can see her surprise.

 

“You can’t… You don’t know…”

 

“I don’t know what? What a monster that motherfucker is? How it feels to be woken up and raped repeatedly? Yeah, Mom. I know. I know what that’s like. Katy knew what it felt like. Do you?”

 

I watch as a tear rolls from her eye. I ignore it. I ask the only question I have ever needed an answer to.

 

“Did you know what he was doing to Katy and me?”

 

I ball my hands at my sides, waiting for the answer I didn’t know I needed so much. It’s almost as if my next breath depends on it.

 

“I…”

 

“Sharon, who’s at the door?”

 

“Cole, you need to leave,” she whispers.

 

“Tell me what you were about to say. Did…you…know?” My voice rises in the quest to get her to answer. She looks over her shoulder into the house, then at me. It’s like I can see the internal struggle on her face. Before she can make her decision, I hear Belle yell.

 

“Don’t touch me!”

 

I push past my mother, rushing into the house, my hands balled into fists. Getting to the end of the hallway, I hear a slap. I round the corner and see Belle standing in front of Stan’s wheelchair. I’m the reason he is in that chair. My Aunt Patty told me that when I repeatedly hit him, it caused a blood clot, which resulted in a stroke. He has a slight slur to his words and weakness on his left side.

 

“You sick son of a bitch. You’re my father. How could you do those things, especially to Cole and Katy? They trusted you.” I stand there and watch as Belle takes fourteen years of pain out on him. Her scream bounces off the walls, her face red, tears in her eyes. “I always had just a speck of doubt in my mind that you did this, but you didn’t stop, did you? You just found new ways to abuse children.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Did Cole fill your head with more lies?” Stan asks, rolling toward the desk and shutting the laptop. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but it wasn’t anything. We’re God-fearing in this house.”

 

I step into the room. “God-fearing, huh? Which commandment says to fuck little boys and girls, you sick son of a bitch?”

 

Chaos erupts, the three of us screaming over each other. My mom looks from person to person, eyes wide, frozen like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Sharon, call the police. He can’t be here. I want him arrested…now.” Stan hasn’t removed his hand from the laptop.

 

Belle rushes to stand in front of my mom, grasping her arms to make her look into her eyes. “Mom, please, listen to me. I know what I saw on his laptop. Open it and check his computer history. Mom, it’s child porn. He’s getting off on little kids. He’s sick. I deal with the children he’s looking at every day. Mom, please, I know what I saw!” Belle is practically begging.

 

“Stan, is this true? What’s on there? It’s not children, is it? Tell her she’s wrong. She didn’t see what she thought she did.” My mom’s voice shakes as she comes to stand closer to me.

 

“Sharon, Cole put her up to this. You know that. Why are you listening to them? All they want to do is hurt me. Hasn’t Cole done enough? I’m already relying on a wheelchair because of him. He wants to hurt us more. You need to call the police.”

 

I take a step closer to him. “Have I done enough? Absolutely not. I should have killed you when I had the chance. You are one sick son of a bitch. You know what they do to child molesters in prison? I do, Stan. I witnessed the hell those pussies go through. It’s pretty disgusting the things the other inmates come up with to fuck a child molester—table legs, broom handles, their fists. Are you ready to be fisted, Stan?”

 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Belle quietly moving from my mom’s side. I hope to God she’s going where I need her to be. I keep talking to keep his eyes on me.

 

“You know what else I learned in prison, Stan? If you keep your mouth shut and get in with the right crowd, people will owe you for your silence. I have friends who owe me some favors. They have friends all over the country, Stan. When you finally go to prison…and you will this time, even if it kills me…I will make just one call. When you least expect it, someone is going to wake you out of your slumber, pull you onto your knees, and ass rape you until you are begging for forgiveness, begging for someone to open the door. You are going to know what’s it’s like to truly be alone.” I bend down to look into his eyes as Belle slides up behind him. “They will torture you and ultimately kill you, Stan, but it won’t be quick and it will be very, very painful. Above anything else, I promise you this. It will fucking hurt, you sick fuck.”

 

When I nod my head, Belle pulls his chair back as fast as she can, causing Stan to lose his grip on the laptop. I jump forward, pulling it off the desk.

 

Stan starts yelling as I walk over to my mother. “You made the wrong choice all those years ago, Mom. Please, for Katy’s sake, do the right thing and turn him in. Don’t let him get away with this again. If Belle says that’s what she saw on this computer, I have no doubt it’s true. All you need to do is make the call.”

 

She looks at Stan, who is begging for her to listen to him, then at Belle, and finally me.

 

“Sharon, don’t do this. You know it isn’t true. Don’t listen to him.”

 

Mom walks to stand in front of Stan’s chair. “Mom…,” Belle says, but my mom’s eyes never leave Stan.

 

When she slaps him, both Belle and I are stunned. “You told me you had changed. You said you had found Christ again and the…the urges were gone. You said you wouldn’t let the devil run your body again.” She slaps him again, harder this time. “I gave up everything for you. I didn’t believe my children, my babies…Katy.” My mom sobs. “My daughter killed herself because of you, because of what you did, and I…I chose you over them.”

 

She slaps him again. He tries to block her, but she’s to his left side and that arm is useless. She sounds as if she is minutes away from hyperventilating, but it doesn’t stop her from yelling and hitting him more. I’m not going to stop her, but I move up behind her, just in case she collapses.

 

“I need to talk to a detective about reporting a child pornography case, please… Yes, I’ll hold,” I hear Belle say. I look at her as she moves her phone away from her mouth. “Cole, you need to go. I got this.” I see the fierce woman she’s become. I underestimated her and will need to apologize for it later, but she’s right. I need to get out of here.

 

I hand the laptop to Belle, knowing she won’t let go of it until she hands it to a detective. I look back at my mom. She may not have known what was happening back then, but she found out at some point. She never tried to find me to apologize or, I don’t know, be a mom. At one point in my life, I needed her, but now… Now I am a man I can be proud of, and it wasn’t because of her. It was in spite of her.

 

“Hey, Stan!” I yell on my way down the hall. “Sleep with one eye open, motherfucker. Vengeance is coming!”

 

The screen door slams behind me. For once in my life, I feel lighter. The pressure constantly crushing my chest seems to release its hold. Even if it’s just for a moment, it feels amazing.