Cole

 

It’s been a couple days since I found J at the shop. We have opened back up and are operating normally. It was determined that nothing was taken that night. I have been doing what I do best…sitting back and watching. All the guys talk about who could’ve trashed the place and why, but none of them are close. I still can’t figure out who is dealing. Today is supposed to be J’s first day back, and we still aren’t on speaking terms. If I text her, she gives me one-word responses. It’s a great relationship.

 

I am just about to start work for the day, standing at my toolbox, when Darren pokes his head out of the office door. “Hey, Cole, you got a minute?” he yells across the shop.

 

I head over to his office, saying good morning to Nancy on the way. Darren points to the chair across his desk. When I sit, he says, “I just wanted to give you a heads-up. Your PO called to check up on you. He said everything is fine and you are checking in as required. Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah. He told me to expect unannounced calls and visits. I have been doing everything he’s told me to do—the drug tests, the check-ins. There are no problems I am aware of.”

 

“He said the same thing. He said he’d be around within the week. Just keep your eye out for him. I know you don’t want anyone to know you are on parole.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“All right, kid. Get back to work. How is that second plow coming?”

 

“Good. There is an oil leak I need to pin down, but it shouldn’t take all that much time.”

 

“Good. Go get it done.”

 

When I step out of Darren’s office, I see J leaning on Nancy’s desk. When she looks at me, I nod and head for the shop. I hope she didn’t hear what Darren and I discussed. She will never trust me if she knows I am on parole for almost killing someone.

 

When I get back to my bay, I grab some tools. I’m just about to start on the truck when J steps in. I look at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

She clears her throat. “Um… Do you have plans for lunch?”

 

“Lunch? Why?”

 

“I think we need to talk.”

 

I start getting pissed off. I know damn well why she wants to talk. “Do we now? I need to get this truck done. I told Darren it wouldn’t take me long.”

 

“Cole, please. I realize I was being a bitch. Can we just get lunch so I can explain?”

 

“Fine,” I say, turning back to the truck. She wants to explain why she has been a bitch? Great, but I am not going to explain what the hell is going on with me.

 

I worked through the rest of morning pretty quietly. Mark stopped by to ask about a concert that was coming up and if I was going, but after my quick, one-word answers, he stopped trying. When lunch finally rolls around, I’m still working on the plow, changing out the oil pan. I was just about done when J walked into my bay.

 

“You ready for lunch?”

 

“As I’ll ever be.”

 

“What the fuck is your problem? I am trying to be nice, but you are being an ass.”

 

“I’m not being an ass.” I stare at her. “If you still want to go, let me go wash up first.”

 

When I came back into the shop from the bathroom, J is waiting by the bay door. “Want to run over to the sub shop?” I ask.

 

“That’s fine.” She pulls her keys from her pocket. “I’ll drive. My Jeep is closest.”

 

Jumping into the passenger seat, I slide it back to give me more leg room.

 

“Sorry,” she looks at me. “Jules is usually the only one who rides in here.”

 

I nod. Once she starts the Jeep and we head toward the sub shop, she finally speaks. “Cole, I’m sorry about the other day. I was being a complete bitch. I know that, but you have to understand this is hard for me. I don’t like help…ever.”

 

“I get that, J, but you don’t have a choice this time. The DiMarcos are after blood. I don’t want it to be yours.”

 

She sighs and stares out the windshield, not saying any more. I watch her while she drives. She must sense me staring because she looks over at me. “What?”

 

“Nothing. I am just trying to figure you out.”

 

“Nothing to figure out. You saved my life, so I’m buying you lunch.”

 

I nod. “Cool. I save your life and get a sandwich.”

 

“Fuck you, Cole.”

 

“I got time.” I smile at her.

 

I don’t know why this always happens. We can’t have a fucking conversation without either arguing or her telling me to fuck off. Something about her draws me in, but she pushes me away just as hard. I’m getting fucking tired of being a yo-yo, but all I can think about is what her mouth tastes like.

 

“You wish.” She flicks her eyes to mine as we pull into the parking lot and park.

 

“You have no idea, babe,” I say, jumping out of the Jeep.

 

As we stand in line to order, we look over the menu hanging behind the counter. The door is constantly opening and closing, people coming and going during the lunch rush. When she closes the distance between us and grabs onto my forearm, almost burying her face into my shoulder, I instinctively wrap my arm around her. I have no idea why she is getting close, but I can’t say I mind it. I look down and see her peeking over my shoulder, a terrified expression on her face.

 

“Are you okay?” I whisper. She shakes her head, so I tighten my hold. “What is it?”

 

She tightens her grip on me. “Can we just go? Please?”

 

I pull her closer. “I won’t let anything happen to you, J.” I release my hold on her and turn, bringing me face to face with two men. I have no idea who they are or why they are getting this kind of reaction from J.

 

“Well, well, well. Look at who we have here. Ms. Zona, it’s so nice to see you again.” He smiles a disgusting smile while chewing on a toothpick, looking between J and me. I ball my fist to stop from shoving that toothpick into his eyeball. He sticks out his hand for me to shake. “Angelo DiMarco.”

 

“Listen, motherfucker…” When I take a step toward him, J pulls on my arm.

 

“Cole, don’t. Not here. He’s not worth it.”

 

I know she’s talking, but I am focused on this guy. When she steps in front of me and puts her hands on my chest, I finally look into her eyes. They are wild and scared. Getting into this with Angelo would put a huge target on my back. A target I don’t fucking need. From what Asher told me, Angelo isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. His brother, Frankie, runs things. Angelo is the muscle and just follows blindly, doing whatever Frankie says.

 

J moves her hand from my chest and touches my cheek. “Please, Cole…”

 

I grab her hand from my cheek and kiss her palm. I take a step around J to get right in the guy’s face. “It’s your lucky day, buddy. She just saved your pathetic fucking life.”

 

“Who is this guy, J? You fucking him? Do you think about me when you do?” The blonde guy standing to the side of Angelo asks, a smirk on his face.

 

All the pieces click together. This is her ex, Justin. What a fucking asshole. I can see why no one liked him.

 

“Fuck you, Justin. Why won’t you just leave me alone?”

 

“A friend of mine wanted me to check on you after your little… What did he call it? Accident? Yeah, your accident. How are you? Your face looks less swollen.”

 

J stiffens. I move toward him faster than she can stop me. “Tell your fucking friend if he’s got a problem, he can see me about it. What kind of trash beats a woman? Do they think they are tough guys because they can intimate her?”

 

“Oh, I’ll make sure they get your message, Cole. Looks like prison made you into a bad ass.”

 

“What the fuck?” I say as Justin walks out the door.

 

What the hell? How does he know about me? I’ve never see that fucking guy or the DiMarcos before. I feel J’s eyes on me.

 

DiMarco laughs again. “Oh, the look on your face is priceless, Cole. Don’t you think we did our homework? We know exactly who is working for Zona.” He looks at J. “Do you?” When he smiles at her again, I want to shove my fist down his fucking throat. “Tell your dear daddy my brother and I send our love.” He laughs as he walks out the door.

 

My hands fisted at my sides, my breathing heavy, everyone in the place is staring at me, whispering to each other. I grab J’s arm and push her toward the door. “Let’s go. We need to fucking talk.”

 

“We will.” She walks out the door, then stops in the middle of the parking lot. “What the fuck was that about, Cole?”

 

“Get in the Jeep, J.”

 

“Cole?”

 

“Damn it, J. For once in your fucking life, will you please listen to someone else? Get in the fucking Jeep!”

 

Her eyes go wide. Her mouth opens like she wants to say something else, but she shuts it and walks to the driver’s side. I take a few deep breaths, calming myself before getting in. I am about ready to lose it.

 

She just sits in the driver’s seat, staring out of the windshield. I can tell she’s scared, but is it of me?

 

“So that was Justin?”

 

She wraps her hands around the steering wheel. “Yeah.”

 

“You want to tell me why just the sight of him scared the hell out of you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Try again, J.”

 

“Cole, I don’t like talking about this. I don’t do it…ever.”

 

“Justin is somehow mixed up with the DiMarcos. We need to figure out why?”

 

“We can’t have this conversation here.” She looks around.

 

“Then let’s go to my house. It’s only a few blocks away.” Sighing, she nods.

 

We’re silent for the whole drive. Pulling her Jeep into my driveway, she glances over at me before she gets out. There is so much pain and defeat in her eyes. I want to pull her close and not let go. We walk through the door and she heads for the one of the couches. I reset the alarm and walk into the kitchen, grabbing two bottles of water.

 

I sit beside her and hand her one, waiting for her to start. I’m learning J can’t be pushed. She’ll talk when she’s ready. I watch as she unties and kicks off her boots, pulling her feet up and wrapping her arm around her knees. Just when I am about to say something, she takes a deep breath.

 

“I told you a little about Justin before. We were together for about a year. It all started great. He was attentive and put me first…for a while. When we moved in together, things started to change. He became controlling, possessive, mean. The first time he hit me…” She shrugs. My body vibrates with anger. If I had known that man laid his hands on J, I would have taken every shot I had at him, making him pay. “I thought I could change him, make him better. I was so foolish, so blind. He had this whole other life that I didn’t know about. He pulled me from my friends, my family. I had no one.”

 

“Didn’t you still work at the shop?” I ask, wondering how the guys didn’t see her pain.

 

“I did, but he hated me working with all the men, so I kept to myself. He used to stop in from time to time. At first, I thought it was because he couldn’t go the whole day without seeing me, but I came to realize he was just checking up on me, making sure I was following his orders.”

 

“Did he hit you often?” Fisting my hand on my leg, I realize how hard my voice must sound when she looks in my direction, eyes wide.

 

“Not at first. Then it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right and he started leaving marks where they weren’t visible.” She takes a deep, unsteady breath. I slide closer on the couch, putting my arm around her. She stiffens, then slowly relaxes as I rub her arm. “He turned very, um…rough in everything he did.”

 

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Did he force himself on you?”

 

“Cole, I can’t. This… It’s too much. You asked why I was scared when I saw him. I explained.” She puts her feet on the floor and straightens on the couch.

 

“J, you don’t know how much I want to hurt this guy. The fact he is in with the DiMarcos can’t be a coincidence. He has intimate details about the shop. Maybe we aren’t looking for someone on the inside. What if he’s the one doing all this?”

 

She puts her face in her hands, letting a sob escape. “This is my fault then. Why can’t he just leave me alone? I’ve fought so hard to get myself back, he can’t take it again. I won’t let him.” By the time she finishes, she is in a full-blown breakdown. I pull her to my side, letting her put her head on my chest.

 

Kissing the top of her head, I make a promise I will fight to keep. “That’s not going to happen. I will protect you, J.”

 

After sitting with J for a while, letting her cry it out, her sobs slowly turn into sniffles. She sits up and wipes her eyes and nose with her sleeve. When she looks at me, it feels like a vice tightens around my chest. Her face is a mess, her eyes and nose red from her tears, but she looks breathtaking. She looks down at my shirt.

 

“I’m sorry. Your shirt is soaked.”

 

“It’s fine. J, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think we need to talk to Asher again. See what part Justin plays in this. I’ll text him on our way back to the shop.”

 

“Oh shit, I completely forgot. What time is it? We need to get back.”

 

“It’s only a little bit past the time when we needed to get back. Go clean up, then we can go.” We stand and I put my hands on her shoulders. “You are going to be okay, J. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.” I pull her into a quick hug. She wraps her arms around me, holding on for a second.

 

She pulls away. “I’m not the same person I used to be. I know that, but Justin doesn’t. It’s what I have to keep telling myself. He may think he knows me, but he doesn’t…not anymore.” She turns and runs up to the bathroom.

 

“You are definitely a bad ass in my book!” I yell. I’m not sure how this changes things. Is this a sick little joke he’s playing with J, or is Justin part of something bigger? Fuck. I need to talk to Ash and figure this shit out.

 

When she comes back down the stairs, she looks calmer. “Let’s get back to it. I want to get this day over with.”

 

I pull out my phone and start texting Ash. All I tell him is to call me because this is way too much for a fucking text message. As I put my phone back into my pocket, J speaks so softly, I can barely hear her.

 

“I want to be there.”

 

Confused, I look at her. “Be where?”

 

“When you talk to Asher about this. It’s about me. I deserve to be there.” She walks out the door and I follow.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, J. Why do you need to be there?” I say as I close the door behind us. I can feel myself shaking my head the whole way to the Jeep.

 

After climbing in, she puts the key into the ignition. “Because it’s my fucking family they are messing with.”

 

I rub my hands over my face. I’m pretty sure this girl is seriously going to be the death of me.