Cole

 

I stare at the door when it clicks closed. Running my hands over my head, I chastise myself. Goddammit. What the hell was I thinking? I know better.

 

As much as I want it to, this thing with J can’t happen. Christ, I’m a fucking idiot. I work with her every fucking day. I can’t pull the usual shit I do with women. There is never a second date. I don’t care how good it is. I don’t do relationships. I get it when I need it and that’s it. No attachments, no history, no strings.

 

Her lips felt amazing on mine. She wanted it as much as I did. I felt her melt into me, but it can’t happen. I don’t know if I’m trying to talk my head or my dick out of it. Darren’s going to kill me.

 

After a few moments of pacing around the room, berating myself, I undress and get into bed. My dick is hard and begging for attention. I close my eyes, but that just puts me right back into that moment of J’s lips on mine. I don’t think I can handle thinking about it for too long. Just the possibility of what could have happened has my dick twitching. I flip onto my side, punching the pillow, trying to find something else to think about.

 

I have no idea what time I finally fall asleep, but it isn’t peaceful, consisting mostly of tossing and turning. I look over at the clock for the millionth time. Screw it. I’ll get up and shower. No sense fighting a losing battle.

 

When I finish showering and dress, I walk out into the hall, holding my bag. I look at J’s door, wondering if she slept just as shitty as I did. The rest of this trip is going to suck if we let this fucking giant pink elephant sit in the truck with us.

 

Taking a deep breath, I knock on her door. When she opens it, she’s pulling her hair back into a ponytail. I feel a pull deep in my chest, but push it aside. “You good to go?”

 

“Yeah. Let me throw my stuff into my bag. Give me two minutes. I’ll meet you at the truck.”

 

“Okay,” I say, eyeing her, looking for any awkwardness from last night.

 

“Wait,” she says when I turn to head down the stairs. I turn back, seeing her holding out her key card. “Can you turn this in for me? I should be ready by the time you are done.”

 

“Sure.” I take the key and walk off. That wasn’t so bad, but I know we’ll need to talk once we start driving. At least she won’t be able to run away from me.

 

I’m just throwing my bag into the back seat when J walks up to the passenger side. She opens the door and places her bag in, then sits down, shutting the door. Sliding in behind the wheel, I notice she has her Kindle and earbuds on her lap.

 

Oh, hell no. We’re going to talk. She isn’t going to hide behind a fucking book until we get to Atlanta.

 

As I get situated, setting the GPS, she shoves the earbuds into her ears. When I lean over and yank one out, she turns and gives me an evil glare.

 

“I’m going to hit a drive thru for breakfast. You good with that?”

 

Without the glare leaving her eyes, she replies, “Yeah, fine.”

 

“Look. Before you shove that damn thing back into your ear, we need to talk.”

 

“No, we don’t. I’m good. We have to be on this trip and have to work together. Last night was a mistake. It was both our faults. No big deal.”

 

“J, we need to talk. The fucking elephant sitting in this truck isn’t going back to Z’s with us. We need to get this shit out in the open, deal with it, and move on. First, I need coffee.”

 

I pull out of the parking lot in search of the closest drive thru between here and the highway. I need some fucking coffee in me before I deal with this shit.

 

Finding one just down the street, I order two coffees and several breakfast sandwiches. Taking a sip of the hot black coffee, I instantly feel it relax the tight feeling in my chest as I put it in the cup holder. I bite into one of the three breakfast sandwiches I got and pull onto the highway. I glance over at J, seeing her eating her sandwich as she looks out the window. She looks so sad, so lost. Finishing my sandwich, I crumple the paper and pull out the next.

 

“Listen, J, I don’t say it often, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for last night. You are right. It shouldn’t have happened. I overstepped, and I apologize.”

 

She doesn’t turn to me, continuing to look out the window. “Cole, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have come to your room. I was just so pissed you were mad and I needed to know why.” She looks at me. “My stubbornness got the better of me.”

 

I sigh. “I took your silence as judging. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. But you have to understand. When you tell someone you’ve been in prison, you never know how they will take it. Do I care that people judge me? Fuck no. Prison didn’t make me or break me. Do I carry a chip on my fucking shoulder from it? Probably.” Taking a deep breath, I look at her, then back at the road. “I know I shouldn’t have kissed you, but in that moment, I couldn’t help myself. There is something about you I need to explore. But I get it. We work together. I’ll back off.”

 

“It wasn’t just you, Cole. I wanted that kiss as much as you did, but that’s as far as it can go. I refuse to do this sort of thing again.”

 

With that, she shoves her earbuds back into her ears and opens her Kindle. Yep, I guess we are done talking.