Twenty Six
Amber
After a long day at the hospital with Ash, he booked us each a suite in a lavish hotel. He retired early citing his exhaustion. I understood and went back to my own room.
Lying in my own bed, I thought about the thin wall that separated us. I longed to go to his room wearing nothing but a sheer, black nightgown.
But I decided against it.
It was still early only seven pm. I glanced down at my phone scrolling through the numbers until I found the right one.
My only sister, Heather.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Amber. I’m here in town visiting a friend. I thought maybe if you weren’t too busy I could come by.” I held my breath. This had been a terrible idea.
She hesitated a moment. “Amber, I’ve been living with Dad since Mom died. Are you sure you want to come over?”
Looking down at my nails, I thought a moment. It had been almost twenty years since I’d seen my father.
But if there was one thing I’d learned from being by Ash’s side through this it was that maybe forgiveness and understanding was the better path. I saw how much Ash was struggling with his mother to find out the truth. Maybe it was time I spoke to my father to find out if he really had sold me out to Larry. “Yes, Heather. If that’s okay I’d like to see you both.”
“Fine, Amber. We’ll be here.”
Swallowing hard, I quickly slipped into a pair of jeans and a sweater. I slipped a quick note to Ash beneath his door.
Pulling up to the old yellow house I’d grown up in, I felt nausea begin to build in my stomach. . The house was in a terrible state of disrepair. The shutters were hanging off and the paint was peeling badly. The chain link fence around the front yard was falling down. Perhaps this had been a bad idea. I debated turning around and leaving.
Immediately, the screen door swung open. A much heavier, older version of my sister came stumbling out onto the porch. “Amber! Come on in.” She waved. Her face broke into a wide smile as we embraced. She smelled faintly of urine. I held my breath as we entered the house.
It was even more cluttered than I remembered. Several cats darted in and out around my feet as I walked into the kitchen. Several pots and pans were in the sink crusted with old food. How had Heather let it get this bad?
“I know what you’re thinking, Amber. I’m a terrible housekeeper, but I’ve been sick.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying not to show my disgust for all the mess.
“I’m diabetic. I’m also back to working sixty hours a week in that damn bar waiting tables. Dad’s social security and pension aren’t enough to keep us going.”
I nodded looking around. I’d love a glass of water, but wasn’t sure I should drink anything here. “What about your children? How old are they now?” I asked, feeling ashamed I couldn’t remember.
“They’re ten and eleven years old. They stay at their dad’s sometimes.” She shrugged pulling the straps of her tank top up.
“Where’s Dad?” I bit my lip wondering if I was ready.
“Right here, little girl.”
Hearing his familiar voice, I spun around. He’d aged terribly since I saw him last. His once blonde hair had gone completely silver. Deep lines crisscrossed his face and his once darkly tanned skin resembled leather. He walked hunched over. “Don’t you look pretty, Amber!” He opened his arms to me. Reluctantly, I embraced him. He smelled of Old Spice.
“Dad, it’s good to see you. How are you feeling?” I struggled to find words. I noticed Heather had put on a pot of coffee.
“Well, not too good lately. I’ve got arthritis really bad in my knees. Can’t walk some days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Heather poured two cups of coffee. “I’m gonna get out of your hair now. It’s good to see you, Amber. Glad things are going well for you.”
I gave her another hug. Now I was all alone with my father. Nervously, I gulped my coffee. “Dad, about Larry…” I dared to broach the subject. The coffee burned my lips as I gulped it down.
“That fucking son of a bitch! I’m glad he killed himself. No good piece of trash.” He spit right on the kitchen floor.
I was taken aback by his reaction. I’d assumed Larry had been telling the truth. Why had I waited so long to actually talk to my father about it? I felt like a fool.
“Daddy, Larry said…I need to know…Larry said that you—took money from him. He paid you…for me.” Tears flowed down my cheeks as the words I’d been waiting to say for twenty years came spilling out.
“What?” His eyes grew wide. The sides of his mouth quivered.
“He said that he gave you five hundred dollars to…hurt me.” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands.
“Is that why you left here and never spoke to us again? You believed that filthy scum instead of talking to me first? Amber, how could you believe that your own father would sell you out?” Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. His gnarled hands reached out to me.
“I don’t know, Dad. I’m so sorry, so, so, sorry.” I gripped his hands tightly.
“Baby girl, you know I love you. I just wish you’d talked to me. Your mother died believing you hated us.”
My heart felt as if it were breaking. “Mom drank herself to death, Dad,” I whispered.
“I know. But how you could take that son of a bitch’s word over mine makes me sick, Amber.”
I sifted through my purse for a tissue. Blowing my nose, I nodded. “I was wrong. I’m so sorry, Dad. Please forgive me.”
He reached his arms out to me and I ran to him.
The kitchen door burst open and in walked a tall, blonde haired man I recognized to be my brother, Mark.
Oh God, I didn’t know if I was ready to see him as well.
“Ambercakes! What are you doing here?” Mark called me by my old nickname.
“I was in town. I wanted to come by and see Dad.”
He opened his arms to me.
I jumped up and embraced him.
He held me tightly against his muscled chest. “You look beautiful as always, Amber. Damn, you’ve grown up fine.” He looked me up and down.
I smiled, beyond thrilled I’d come home to see them at last. Maybe I could finally have a relationship with my family again.
For hours, we all talked reliving stories from the past. I found out that Mark had gotten married to an old classmate of mine, Jessie. They had three children. Mark had completed tech school and was working as an electrician.
“I’m so glad I decided to come, but it’s getting late and I need to get back to the hotel.” I stood up to leave gathering my purse. “I just want to run upstairs and take a quick peek at my old room. Is that okay?”
Dad nodded. “Well, you might be disappointed. It’s all different now. Char uses it for her daughter.”
I shrugged. “I’m going to head up anyway. I need to use the restroom before I go.”
Walking up the stairs, I peeked into my old bedroom. Sure enough, Heather had redecorated it for her daughter. It looked beautiful.
I walked to the bathroom and freshened up. This trip had turned out to be a fantastic idea.
As I flipped off the light to the bathroom, I noticed the light in my brother’s old room was on. Thinking that Heather’s son may be using the room, I darted inside to flip the switch off.
But it hadn’t changed a bit. All of Mark’s stuff was still on the walls. His old posters of Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, and other swimsuit models decorated the walls. They were torn and fading.
Laughing to myself at his old obsession with Baywatch, I turned to leave the room. Something in the corner of his dresser caught my eye. It was my senior cheerleading picture sticking out of the corner of a book.
I picked the book up and dozens of pictures of me fell out. Some were stuck together with a glue like substance. Puzzled, I placed the book back onto the dresser.
Something else was amiss. I caught a glimpse of lacy material hanging out of one of the drawers. Pulling it open, dozens of pairs of my old panties and bras were inside. They were yellowed with age and dusty.
But there was enough of a crusty substance on them for me to tell what it was.
Horrified, I clamped my hand over my mouth. I backed out the room. As I turned to race down the stairs, I ran straight into Mark.
“Hey, baby sis, where are you going? Why were you in my old room?”
“Mark…I just saw the light on and I went to—”
“Bullshit. You were snooping. So what now you found out my deep dark secret? That I’ve been harboring a hard on for my own sister?”
My stomach churned with disgust. I backed away from him.
“God, you’re beautiful, Amber. You always did remind me of Pamela Anderson.” Mark pushed me back against the wall.
I opened my mouth to scream. This was unreal.
“Don’t even think about yelling for Dad. The old man’s got a bad heart. You’ll kill him with this. Think of it as our dirty little secret.” Mark ran his hand over my breasts through my sweater. “I can’t believe you could get any hotter, but you have. Sweet little sis, wasn’t that a nice surprise Larry had for you?”
“What?” I hissed my mouth falling open in shock.
“But Larry, the old dumb fuck, got it all wrong. The five hundred dollars was to get you back to his place. He was supposed to hold you there until me and my buddies could get there.”
Shocked, I slid to the ground clasping my hand over my mouth. Oh my God, oh my God, this wasn’t happening! I felt as though I’d stumbled into a nightmare. “But Larry said…he paid money…” I trailed off.
Mark pulled me up from the floor. He pulled me to him clasping his hand tightly over my mouth. “Larry never paid a dime for you. We paid him. It was me, Bobby, Jackson, and Bryan. We all chipped in. Larry was down on his luck so we thought he’d be anxious to make some money. The only thing he had to do was to get you to his house. That nasty fuck Larry was never supposed to get a crack at you.”
I couldn’t breathe. My head was spinning. I felt the air around me hot and thick as my brother’s hot breath whispered in my ear.
“You never knew, Ambercakes that me and my buddies used to watch you? I drilled a tiny hole in the closet so we could. Used to charge them five dollars just to see you naked. But I was the only one who watched you in the middle of the night. I watched how you rolled around in your bed at night touching yourself. It was so hot watching you finger yourself while you moaned crying out that dumb ass boyfriend’s name, Luke.”
That did it. I heaved violently as he quickly moved to avoid being drenched with vomit. “You fucking animal.” I spit at him wiping my mouth.
Mark laughed looking at me. “I never wanted to hurt you, little sis. Just wanted a taste of you is all. Can you blame me? The way you walked around the house in your tight tank tops with no bra? You jiggled everywhere. In the summertime when you laid out in the backyard in your bikini, didn’t you notice all the guys staring at you? What the hell was I supposed to do? Even Mom bought you those Ace bandage bras just to keep you under wraps.
“Did Dad know? About everything…” I whispered.
Mark laughed.
“Hell no. He was clueless, so was the old lady.”
I sighed with relief knowing that at least my whole family hadn’t been monsters. I attempted to move away from Mark.
“Come on, Amber, it was your own fault! Can you blame me? What the fuck was I supposed to do?”
My stomach churned. This was worse than Larry. This betrayal…I was his sister, for God’s sake! He was sick…unbelievably sick.
“Larry was supposed to get you to his house. Then he was to help hold you down so we could all have a turn.”
His smile was so evil it made me want to faint. “I’m leaving, Mark. I never want to see you again. I hope you rot in hell.” Trembling all over, I tried to squeeze past him.
“Not so fast, Amber. You’re all grown up now.” He wrapped his arms around me pulling me to him. He pressed his lips to mine. I recoiled as I felt his tongue try to slither into my mouth.
No longer caring if my father heard, I brought my knee up as hard as I could slamming into his balls. I bit down on his tongue at the same time.
“Fuck!” He screamed.
I shoved him away. I raced down the stairs and out of the house.
As I bolted from the house, I drove away knowing I’d never return.