One Hundred Eight
Ayden
Two days later, I found myself sitting with Sasha talking over the details of the purchase of the home I’d found for her in the Hamptons. I signed the papers and called the movers to bring her stuff over. She kept rhapsodizing about the first two thousand days of the babies’ lives which were supposed to be the most formative.
“And we have to be sure to read to them daily so they develop a love for reading,” she finished saying.
“What?” I’d spaced out staring at the empty house thinking of everything that needed to be done.
“Ayden, you haven’t listened to a fucking thing I’ve saying! I’m talking about our children. Is it going to be like this every single time we talk? You’re just going to sit there and think about her?” Sasha put her hands on her hips and glared at me.
She’d caught me. I was thinking about last night’s talk with Reese and how badly it had gone.
To say she was upset was beyond words.
More like devastated.
“Do you seriously think this is going to work?” Reese had cried as she threw her glass at the wall.
“It has to, baby. Just listen to me. Sasha is going to move out here. I bought her a house a few miles away. It’s important for me to be involved with the pregnancy.” I’d explained wincing as she continued screaming. I knew she had every right to be upset, but I thought it was getting extreme. I loved her. She was the one I wanted, not Sasha.
“You’re so fucking stupid to think it’s going to stop there. You’re going to end up over there every time she has a little pain in her toe! The least problem and you’ll run to her. Is that what our lives are going to be like?” Reese had walked around the kitchen tossing a dish towel at me as she grabbed a bottle of whiskey.
I seriously hoped she wasn’t going to throw the bottle at me. It wasn’t my fault this had happened. “No, it’s not. This is just about the babies, that’s all.”
Reese had poured a glass of whiskey and threw back the whole glass in one swallow. I’d never seen her drink like that. “Parenthood lasts a lifetime, Ayden. She’s going to be a major part of our lives for the next eighteen years. Don’t you get that?”
She had a point.
“You’re right, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be with you too and love you.”
Reese had sobbed uncontrollably. She then collapsed to the hardwood floor. “I can’t do this. You’re going to be there with her getting checkups, seeing the babies on the ultrasound, picking out baby stuff with her…..oh God, Ayden, oh God.” She’d cried so hard her eyes scrunched up tightly and her face turned bright red. She then began to hiccup.
I knelt next to her. “Reese, I love you. She’s the mother of my children that’s all. I wish it had been us having the babies, but it’s not. I’m going to be with you. Whenever we have checkup appointments, you’re going to be by my side. These babies are a part of you too.”
She looked up at me brokenly. She seemed to be struggling to understand what I was saying. She shook her head sadly. “I wish that was true. Do you think Sasha going to allow me to come along? Three’s a crowd.”
“She has to if she wants me around she gets you too.”
Reese continued crying in my arms. “I can’t do this. I need time alone.” She had scrambled to her feet.
“No, baby, I want to be with you. I thought about you all day.”
“No, you didn’t. You thought of your babies. I’m not mad at you about that, but I just can’t. I need time. I’m going to Ava’s for now.”
I snatched her arm. “Please don’t go. Let’s work through this together.”
But in the end, she’d left to go to Ava’s.
A few hours later, I found myself face to face with Ava.
She burst through the door storming across the room to get directly toe to toe with me.
“What the fuck did you do to my girl?”
“Your girl?”
“Yes, my girl. She’s my best friend. I love her and I will not see you break her heart over some impudent low class trash.”
“Hold up, Ava.” I felt her wrath seething at me. “It’s not like that. Sasha is—”
“—pregnant. Don’t you think I know that? And I know exactly what kind of woman she is. I fucked her too, don’t you remember?”
Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to erase that from my memory. “Yes, I do remember. This isn’t Sasha’s fault. She and I were together before I met Reese.”
A stinging slap whipped my head to the side. I caught her arm in the air before she could hit me again. “Stop it, Ava! I won’t have this! I love Reese you know that. I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“Fuck you,” she spat.
I let go of her arm and backed away as I found myself unable to counter her rage. “This is about me being a father. You know how shitty it was growing up with a dad. I want to be there for my children. That’s all. I have no romantic interest in Sasha at all.”
Ava threw her hands in the air and glared at me. “Yes, it did suck growing up without our father, but that’s not the problem. The issue is the pain you’re causing Reese.”
“This is a lousy situation all the way around. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this, but we took a DNA test. The twins are mine.”
Ava nodded as she slowly walked around the kitchen. Spying a bottle of whiskey, she opened it and took a swig directly from the bottle. She strolled back over to me. “So they are. I’m not a motherly type so I have no fucking parental advice for you. But here’s some advice I can offer you…don’t hurt Reese.”
I stared into her deep blue eyes so like my own, so like Ash’s. I could feel fury emanating from her.
She sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have stated it that way. This isn’t advice rather it’s a warning. If you hurt Reese again, you’ll deal with me. Is that understood, brother?” She spat her words at me.
Recalling the way she handled the spiders back in Egypt, I shuddered. “I won’t.”
Ava smirked as she sauntered towards the door. “Just remember that. I know you’re my brother, but Reese, she’s my sister-a sister of pain. Don’t you ever forget it.” She threw me a final glance before slamming the door behind her.
I sighed deeply reaching for the bottle. Now everyone was upset with me. What the hell was I going to do?
Sasha stood in the middle of her new home wearing a huge smile. Her happiness made her glow. She’d grown even bigger in the past few weeks. We still hadn’t decided on names yet. “Thank you so much for helping me move in, Ayden.” She reached into a box unwrapping glasses and placing them in the cabinet. “This place is a lot nicer than my apartment.”
Shrugging, I picked up some boxes and brought them to the nursery. Sasha had called a designer to come later that day to begin decorating it.
“A son and a daughter. How lucky can one man be?” I mused.
Sasha slipped in beside me. “I bet this is tough on Reese. How’s she holding up?” She moved her hand to brush my shoulder.
“Not so good. She’s staying with my sister, Ava now.”
“She moved out?”
“Not permanently. She just needed time alone she said.” I looked down feeling an ache in my chest whenever I thought of Reese not being at home with me.
“Sure. I understand.”
“Do you think it’s possible you could let Reese come to our next appointment? I want her to see the twins on the ultrasound. It would mean a lot to us both,” I pleaded with her.
Her face darkened a moment. Then she slowly nodded with a sigh. “I think I could handle that. I have to admit though when I thought about having children I never pictured another woman would be part of it.” She laughed slightly. She kept her hand firmly on my shoulder.
It was starting to make me uncomfortable. I eased away from her touch. “You understand you and I are not a couple, don’t you? Reese is my girlfriend. The twins aren’t changing that.”
She walked over to one of the boxes and began unpacking baby blankets stacking them on a white dresser. The room was enormous large enough to fit two cribs, two rocking chairs, a couch, and a double bed. Sasha picked up a big blue teddy bear and held it to her chest. “I know.” She sagged against it. “But I thought being a family would be more important to you.”
“More important than my girlfriend?” I sat down on the couch staring at her. Sadness was in her eyes. I hoped that didn’t affect the twins.
She laughed still cradling the bear. “I guess not. I don’t know what I expected. I knew you were involved with someone from the PI’s report, but I guess I didn’t know how much you loved her. I was hoping she was just a hook up to you.”
Reese a hookup? No, more like the love of my life. I felt more passion for her than I do for anyone or anything.
Almost anyone.
I had to admit I was quickly getting used to the idea of being a father. I found myself looking at baby furniture online, thinking about the day I’d be able to hold them in my arms, to hear them call me ‘Daddy’ for the first time, to see them take their first steps, to taking my son fishing and my daughter to her first dance. My heart soared with joy whenever I imagined them.
I never thought of Sasha standing beside me. It was always Reese. How I wished Reese were their mother. I couldn’t stop wishing that no matter how disrespectful to Sasha it was. Reese should be the mother of my children.
But she wasn’t.
Life had taken that from her.
I took a motorcycle mobile out of the box and started affixing it to the ceiling over my son’s crib.
“That looks good there, but don’t you think we should wait for the designer?”
“Nope. I picked this out for my son. I think it looks great. I don’t need some fancy fucking Fifth Avenue designer telling me how to decorate the twins’ room.” I fished through the boxes until I found the butterfly mobile for my daughter.
“Don’t you mean ‘our’ son? Ayden, I think you’re forgetting I’m their mother. These babies are growing inside of me.” She took my hand and held it to her stomach.
I’d felt it before, but nothing had happened.
Just then, I felt it! A slight kicking and pushing from inside her stomach. I jumped back it was so strange. Two babies were alive inside of her. I couldn’t stop trembling as I held my hand on her stomach. Again, there was another kick! I could almost see the outline of a tiny foot in her skin. It was the strangest yet most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. “They’re kicking!” I laughed as I rubbed my hand across her stomach.
“Yes, they are. They’ve been so active lately. I was getting worried that something may be wrong, but Dr. Sullivan said that’s normal. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” She laughed.
“I think I see his little foot!” Elated, I wanted to video this moment. I wanted to share it with Reese.
“Or hers. They’re both feisty.” Sasha laughed. She moved her hand to cover mine. “Thank you for being here,” she whispered as I held my hand with hers for a moment. It was unbelievable to me to think that our babies were alive inside of her. They were a part of me, of her. I was so touched by this.
“Ayden, are you crying?” Sasha noticed me sniffle a few times.
“Of course not. It’s just….I’ve never felt a baby inside a woman before like that. My God, what a miracle.”
Finally, I moved my hand away and ran my hands over my hair. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I noticed it was well past 4 PM. I promised Reese I would meet her back at our house by 4:30. “I’ve got to get going. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to have Reese at our next appointment, but before that, I think we should all have dinner together. We need to have an open discussion about this arrangement.”
Sasha smiled. “I’d like to meet her as well. Sure, what day is good for you? I could cook if you both like.”
“How about we meet at a restaurant? That way it’s neutral territory. I think that would be best for us all.”
“I’ve been having massive cravings for fish. What about The Chowder House?”
“That’s fine. We both love seafood as well. Let’s say 1 PM tomorrow?”
It was a short drive back to my house. When I arrived, Reese’s car was in the driveway. I sighed with relief. I was so happy she was back home. “Reese!” I called as I flung open the door. A quick glance around the house told me she must be in the bedroom. Climbing the stairs, I walked into our bedroom. She was lying atop the bed staring up at the ceiling. “Baby, I’m so happy you’re home.” I laid down next to her. She was lying with her golden hair swirled around her head. Her blue eyes were unblinking. I trailed my hands over her soft sweater.
“I’m glad to be back.” She turned to smile at me. I felt myself melt inside. She always had that effect on me.
“I missed you.” I pressed my lips to hers pulling her against me.
“So, tell me, Ayden how did the move go?”
I hesitated talking about Sasha. I just wanted to enjoy Reese being with me instead of thinking about her. “It went well. Sasha is getting settled into the new house.”
“That’s good. How are the twins doing?”
I cleared my throat before proceeding. “They’re great. So far so good. I actually felt them kick today.”
She smiled sadly. “That’s amazing. I bet that something special.”
I clasped her hand tightly. “It was. Speaking of the twins, I wanted us to have lunch with Sasha tomorrow. It’s time you two met.”
Reese looked horrified. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that. It might be too much.” She bit her lip as she kept her hand in mine.
“Please, baby. I think it’s for the best. I want you to be a huge part of the twins’ lives. You will be their stepmother. That’s important.”
Reese grew silent curling up into my arms. “I know it’s important. I’ll go.”
Even though her words were everything I wanted to hear at the moment, I felt a growing sense of unease.
Were both my worlds about to collide?
The restaurant was relatively slow in the afternoon which is why I had suggested it. Reese stiffly sat next to me eying Sasha.
She, in turn, sat across from us glaring over her plate of Garlic Butter Salmon.
Clearing my throat, I attempted conversation, “Reese, Sasha is planning to have a mural painted in the twins’ room. Maybe you’d have some suggestions seeing that you enjoy painting.” I gulped my water nervously.
Reese looked up from her salad and nodded. “I’d love to, that is, if Sasha doesn’t mind.”
Sasha looked up as if she finally realized a conversation was going on around her. “That would be great. I’m looking for something playful, but soothing to go on their walls.”
“Soothing?” Reese raised her brows while stabbing a piece of lettuce.
“Studies show that when babies come out of the womb, they’re in shock. They naturally gravitate towards something that reminds them of their mother’s womb, something dark and warm.”
Reese shook her head slightly. I could tell she wanted to come back with a biting comment. She glanced at me and changed her mind. “I’ve never thought about that.” She managed as she swallowed a cherry tomato.
After several more tense moments, I requested the check. “Sasha has a doctor’s appointment in an hour. Would you like to come?” I asked Reese hoping Sasha would chime in.
Reese wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I would love to if Sasha is okay with it.”
Sasha had been shoveling her dessert, a piece of Chocolate Pecan Pie into her mouth. She swallowed and nodded. “Fine with me,” she mumbled dabbing the smears of chocolate and caramel from her mouth.
“Great. Sounds like a plan.” I signed the receipt before taking a final sip of water.
Looking from Reese to Sasha, I should’ve had a drink. Several drinks. If lunch had been thunderstorm, I had a feeling I was about to walk into a tornado.
Better batten down the hatches.
“This is the boy right here. You can see his tiny…” Melissa, the nurse traced her finger along the screen.
Reese gazed at the screen in awe. “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “That’s amazing. To think they were once just…” She choked on her words.
I grabbed her hand holding it tightly.
Sasha laid there not looking at either one of us. She was focused on the screen.
“Here’s the girl!” The nurse excitedly moved the wand over Sasha’s stomach.
“It’s beautiful,” Reese murmured unshed tears welled in her eyes.
“A miracle,” I whispered back to her.
The nurse handed Sasha tissues to clean her stomach as the two of us waited outside.
“Ayden, thank you for letting me be a part of this. I thought it would be too hard for me, but it was simply amazing. I’ve seen my own eggs on an ultrasound like that, but to see what they can become is spectacular.” Reese’s eyes misted with tears.
“How are you doing? I was worried this would be painful for you.” I stroked her hair as we stood waiting for Sasha. We sank down onto a couch outside the exam room. The smell of Betadine lingered in the air. Several announcements went over the intercom shattering my already strained nerves.
She shook her head placing her purse on the couch next to us. “It was upsetting at first, I’ll admit that, but then I relaxed and just allowed myself to enjoy the moment. I’m getting to be a part of something much bigger than me, than you, than Sasha. It’s the miracle of life. If I can’t be a biological mother, than I can be a fantastic stepmother, can’t I?” She smiled.
Her smile always lit up my world. I was so relieved she was starting to come around. I hugged her tightly. “That’s what I was saying all along.” Now, we just had to get Sasha on board. That was going to be anything but easy.