Forty Eight
Ash
“I can’t fucking believe it. How could I have a brother all these years and not know it?” I pounded my fists in anger on the bed.
Amber stood by my side looking at me with such love and concern in her eyes. “Ash, I don’t know what to say. I’m at a loss for words.”
Gazing into her big blue eyes, my heart melted. She was still the woman I wanted. Through everything, she’d been by my side.
Still, thinking about crawling out of that basement fighting our way outside to my car, I couldn’t believe what Ayden had told me.
Maybe there was still a chance it wasn’t true.
But his eyes…they were so like mine. Now with Ayden’s revelation, I couldn’t help but face the truth.
Ayden Donovan was my brother.
The door to my room swung open and a short, stout man in a white coat appeared. He smiled at me as he picked up his clipboard. “So, Mr. Blackthorne, you appear to be doing much better. Your signs all look good.” He adjusted his thick glasses on his face.
As I struggled to sit up, pain exploded throughout my shoulder.
“Now, take it easy, Mr. Blackthorne.”
“Call me Ash.” I moaned still reeling from the intense pain.
“Ash, try to rest.” Amber reached over to push the hair from my brow.
“Your wife is right, Ash. You’ve suffered a great deal of blood loss. We had to give you a small transfusion.”
My heart thudded. “She’s not my wife,” I whispered regretting the correction as I watched Amber’s face fall.
“I’m sorry.”
Then the doctor’s words sank in. Blood transfusion?
“I’m sorry, Doctor, did you say blood transfusion?”
“Yes, it wasn’t much, but you were low.”
My fists curled the bed sheets into knots.
It couldn’t be…
It just couldn’t be…
Ayden!
“Where did you get the blood from, Doctor?” The words fell from my lips readily although I dreaded the reply. To think his blood literally coursed through my veins sickened me.
“From the local blood bank, of course.”
I sighed with relief.
The doctor grinned revealing his even, white teeth. “Or rather that’s where we normally get the blood. However, in your case, your brother who has the same blood type graciously donated his own blood to you.”
I shot up in the bed careless of how much it hurt my shoulder. “Amber! How could you let them give me his blood?” I demanded.
She grinned slowly as she ran her hand down to my chest. “Now when we fuck, it will be like I’m fucking both of you at the same time.”
I fell back against the bed gasping for air. It was all too much. It was all…
My eyes fluttered open. The bright fluorescent burned my eyes as I looked around the sterile room. I was in the hospital, but I couldn’t recall why at first.
Then I remembered.
Ayden.
Amber.
I looked around and saw Amber sitting in a chair next to my bed. My eyes trailed upwards to see all the tubes and bags next to me. “Amber.” My voice was a hoarse whisper.
“Ash!” She cried jumping to my side.
“What happened?”
She smoothed my hair back from my forehead. “You were stabbed, don’t you remember?”
I closed my eyes a moment. I could see Ayden’s hand lashing out at me, the knife embedding itself deep into my shoulder. “Yes. It was Ayden.”
She nodded slowly. Her hair fell all around her face.
“So how did we get here?”
“Ayden brought us.”
“My shoulder feels so stiff.” I tried to move, but winced as pain shot through my body.
“Yes, you lost a lot of blood though.”
Oh God, no. The dream!
“Did they give me a blood transfusion?”
“Yes, why?”
My stomach tightened. I felt as if I’d vomit.
“It wasn’t…Ayden’s blood, was it?”
“No, of course not. Why would you think that?”
“Because he’s my brother.”
I shuddered recalling my dream. “Amber, is he here?”
“Who?” she asked taking my hand.
“Ayden.”
She shook her head. “No, the police are everywhere. There’s one outside the door on 24 hour watch. They think I was held hostage for money.” She laughed.
“Who told them that?”
“I have no idea. Theories are flying about what happened to us. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it.”
“Good.”
“Amber, his mother is my mother. We are full blood brothers.” I looked down.
“I know, Ash.” She swallowed hard.
“How do you feel about that?” I asked.
She stared down at me with tears welling in the corners of her eyes. “I can’t say I’m thrilled, Ash, but I love you. It doesn’t matter to me who you’re related to.”
Knowing that the man who’d terrorized her years ago and just kidnapped her a few days ago was my brother must be astonishing to her.
But then this was Amber, the strongest woman I’d ever known.
I squeezed her hand. Looking up into her eyes, I knew this was the only woman I’d ever truly loved. Veronica had just been a childhood sweetheart.
No, Amber was the woman for me.
I just needed to find the words to tell her.
A few days passed and they released me from the hospital. Immediately, I was sent home to my house in the Hamptons with my private nurse and Amber.
“Ash, what are we going to do about Ayden? The cops keep asking questions and the media is all over this story.”
I stared up at the ceiling. For once, I was speechless. “I don’t really know, Amber. I still can’t get over the fact that he’s my brother. I grew up my entire life believing I was an only child. I can’t believe my father lied to me.”
Amber stepped over to the bed and stroked my hair. Her touch jolted me.
“I don’t want to turn him in, Amber. He did help us get to the hospital,” I said quietly awaiting her reaction.
Her hand fell from my head. I watched her eyes. She appeared to be struggling to answer.
“Amber, I know what he did was awful not just to me, but to you. If you want me to, I’ll tell the police everything.”
She shook her head. “He’s your brother, Ash. I can’t forgive him right now and I don’t want any contact with him.”
I nodded. “Has anyone heard from him?”
“I haven’t seen or heard from him since he dropped us off at the hospital. I just can’t see him, Ash.”
“I understand, Amber. He’s a dangerous guy, but he holds keys to my past. I have to know him. Can you understand?”
Her eyes remained downcast.
Outside, I could hear the reporters swarming the front lawn.
I heard Omar, the security guard I’d hired, ordering them to leave. I took her hand and held it to my chest. “Amber, you’re the most important person in the world to me. If you never want me to see or speak to Ayden again, I won’t.”
Amber looked up and met my eyes. She smiled. “Ash, I meant what I said before in the hospital. I love you. If you want to pursue Ayden for answers, feel free. Just be careful.”
Looking into her eyes, I knew without a doubt I loved this woman. “Amber, I—”
Just then, Wilma burst into the room. “Mr. Blackthorne! There’s a man here who is demanding to speak with you!”
I closed my eyes briefly. I didn’t need this today. “Who is it, Wilma?”
Amber moved towards the door. “Wilma, Mr. Blackthorne can’t be bothered today. He’s suffered a terrible injury as you know and can’t be disturbed.”
“Yes, I know that, Miss Michaelson, but this man demands to see Mr. Blackthorne. He says it’s urgent.”
“It’s fine, Amber. I want to know who it is.”
The petite, older woman appeared flustered. “He says it’s about your father.”
I nearly jumped off the bed. “My father? What about him?”
Amber tried to intervene between us. “Wilma, Mr. Blackthorne’s father has been dead for nearly two years. Just who is this man?”
I spun my body around until my legs dangled from the bed. I searched for a pair of pants.
“No, Ash, please. I’ll figure out who this man is.”
Spying a pair hanging over the leather chair in the corner, I raced to get them. “No, Amber, I’m handling this. I’m fine.”
Wilma and Amber followed me down the hall. Still shirtless, I descended the stairs to find an older man standing in the study. It was my father’s oldest friend, Clayton.
“Ashton!” He held out his arms to me.
He had aged quite a bit since I’d last seen him. He was tall and thin with graying hair. He was dressed in a dark blue suit.
I was starting to feel dizzy from standing up so quickly. After embracing him, I gestured for him to have a seat. I sank down onto the leather couch. “So, Clayton, what brings you here?”
Wilma and Amber appeared in the doorway looking concerned.
“Are you okay, Ash?” Amber stared at Clayton with curiosity.
“I’m fine. Clayton was a friend of my father’s. Please have Gloria bring in some water please.” In other words, I wanted to be left alone with him. I needed to know why he had come to see me. I hadn’t seen him since my father’s funeral.
“How are you doing, Ash?” Clayton’s blue eyes looked at me full of concern.
“As good as could be expected, Clayton.”
He nodded. “So, what exactly happened, Ash?”
I leaned back in the chair. I was starting to shake. “I was stabbed, Clayton. I’m sure you’ve heard the news.”
He looked paler than he had when I first saw him. “Yes, Ash, about that….I wanted to apologize to you, Ash. I knew all about Ayden. Your father—?”
“What? Why are talking about Ayden?” I sat back astonished. So my father had confided in someone after all.
“Come now, Ash. The media is all abuzz. Someone on social media leaked to the press that Ayden Donovan is your brother. Rumors are flying that he stabbed you in a jealous rage over your inheritance.”
My mouth fell open. “That’s not….that’s not the way it happened.” I choked on my words. I couldn’t believe someone had leaked this on social media. I thought only Amber, Ayden and myself knew the truth about what happened.
“I know about Ayden, Ash. You know how close your father and I were. He came to me right after Ayden was incarcerated. He was distraught, as you might imagine, that one of his sons was in prison.” Clayton rubbed his hands together.
“So what did he say?” I sat back trying to absorb his revelation.
“He told me about Ayden’s story: how Debra abused him for years, how he came to be in the place he was. Terrible story, I won’t bore you with the details. Frankly, I’ve forgotten the specifics. I just know Ashler was devastated by what Ayden told him. He swore me to secrecy. He only wanted to reveal Ayden’s identity after Ayden was released from prison. As you know, unfortunately, your father passed before that could happen.” Clayton stopped and took a sip of his water.
I ran my hands through my hair. This was all too much. I couldn’t help but wonder why hadn’t my father told me?
“Ashler was afraid that Ayden would be a danger to you. Not physically, just emotionally. He didn’t know how you would react to having a brother. He didn’t know how Ayden would feel about you either. It was a terrible time for him. It weighed on him tremendously. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what hastened his death.”
Shaking my head, I glared at him. “No, what hastened my father’s death was pancreatic cancer.”
Clayton’s face flushed red. He looked down at his hands and sighed. “Yes, of course. After your father died, I debated with myself about coming to you about Ayden. He was still in prison and I knew your father didn’t want you to know about him until he was released. But after his release, he disappeared so it seemed from the New York area. During that time, I was diagnosed with lung cancer.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Clayton. How are you doing?”
He waved his hand. “Not so good, Ash. I’ve been told I’m terminal now. That and finding out about what happened to you drove me to come here today. I wanted to explain to you some things before I—” He broke off.
Understanding the implication of his words, I nodded.
“So, I wanted you to know, Ash, why your father never told you. He and I were best friends when we were younger. I followed him out to Haight Ashbury after he came back from Vietnam.”
“Haight Ashbury?” I was stunned.
“Yes, when your father came back from Vietnam he, like many others, had been so deeply affected by the carnage over there. He was shell shocked, as they say, for the first month or so. Once he snapped out of it, the so-called Summer of Love was happening in San Francisco and that appealed to both of us. We took off together in a VW bus! Can you believe it? We found a whole bus of girls going out there and we jumped in! It was crazy.”
My father, a hippie?
“When we got out there, of course, we found sex and drugs running rampant. Your father met a girl immediately who took us to her commune.”
What? This was insanity! Clayton must be going senile. “My father? Clayton, I think you’re mistaken.”
He reached into his pocket and produced a packet of photos. “Take a look, Ash.”
Flipping through them, I immediately recognized my father even with his long hair. There were several beautiful young girls surrounding him. He held a guitar in his hand as well. In the background was an old Harley.
Guitar? Motorcycle?
“That’s him.” I sighed, handing the photos back.
“Keep them, Ash. There’s no use in me hanging on to old memories anymore.”
I placed them on the table. “So, my dad was a hippie and a biker? It’s news to me, but what does that—”
“—have to do with now? Quite a lot, I’m afraid. You see, your dad and I were in a band, Alice’s Attic. We also formed a motorcycle club, the Sons of Brotherhood. Oh Lord, we had such fun! We rode our Harleys, played in the band. Your father was the lead singer and on the guitar….”
“What? Are you serious?”
He nodded. “Of course. Didn’t you ever listen to his records?”
I searched my memory trying to come up with some shred of recognition. Alice’s Attic. It didn’t ring a bell. “I heard him listening to records often. It was all old 70s glam rock. I never paid much attention. As far as singing, I heard him sing to himself once or twice, but I never heard him play any damn guitar.”
“That’s a shame. He was very good. We had quite a following out in Southern California.”
I waved my hand at him. “So why did he quit if he was so good?”
Clayton shrugged. “I think it had to do with the pressure your grandfather was putting on him to come home, Rita giving birth to Angel, and of course, the terrible business with Charlie.”
My mind was swimming. I couldn’t absorb all this new information. The room was stuffy. I stood up and pushed open all the windows. “Charlie?”
Clayton waved his hand at me. “Manson. I know you’ve heard all about him.”
Oh, my God.
“Clayton, are you telling me my father knew Charles Manson?”
“Well, we only met him once. Neither of us thought much of him. It was some of the girls who hung out at his ranch mingled with the girls at our place. Once Manson and his family slaughtered those people, it killed the whole movement out there. I know some people say Manson didn’t really kill the 60s, but for a lot of us he did. It sort of brought us back to our senses. At least that’s how it was for your father and me. After that, we just focused on the band and the MC for a few years. Then, Rita got pregnant.”
I swallowed hard. This was unreal. Clayton must be having delusions from the cancer. “Okay, Clayton, my dad was a hippie, rode a Harley, played in a band, and knew Charles Manson. What does this mean today?”
Clayton sighed. His hands were shaking. “Do you mind if I smoke? I’ve tried so hard to do this without smoking. I just can’t.”
I shrugged. “I generally don’t allow it, but you can stand by the window and blow the smoke out there.”
He stood up and shuffled towards the window. His frailty reminded me of my father before he passed. The guy didn’t have long that was for sure.
“Dad was dating a Rita after Debra left. But that couldn’t be the same…” Clayton took a long drag on his cigarette. “Yes, it was the same woman.”
“So, that little girl I used to play with….”
“Was your sister.”
What?
That was it. I’d heard too much. Clayton obviously was suffering from terrible delusions. Perhaps it was due to his cancer treatments.
“Well, I can’t be certain of that, Ash. Neither could your father. Rita got pregnant in ‘75. She gave birth to her daughter, Angel. Immediately, she proclaimed Ashler as the father, but it was commune. We all had sex regularly with a variety of people usually while high on something. So there was no way to really know. Your father, Rita, and Debra were in a relationship together.”
No surprise about Debra. I wouldn’t have put anything past that woman. But to hear about my father’s sexual escapades was disconcerting to say the least.
“Okay, so you’re telling me that my dad, Debra, and Rita were together. I buy that about Debra. I don’t remember much about Rita. She and Dad were only together for a year or so. I do remember the little girl though. They called her Amelia.”
“That’s it! Amelia not Angel.”
I was skeptical. This was just too unreal. I’d never heard anything about any of this. But, my father never told me about Ayden either. “Clayton, I’m not in the best condition as you can see. I’ve been through a lot. I’m trying to recover. This really isn’t the time.”
He flicked his cigarette out the window. “I know, Ash. I’m sorry, but when I heard about what happened to you I felt guilty. I should’ve told you about Ayden when your father died. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” He shuffled slowly back to his chair.
“I don’t know, Clayton. Maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn’t. I just don’t know what to make of it all. I’m still recovering. I just can’t get my mind around all this.”
“It’s a lot, I know. I just wanted to tell you before I passed. I wanted you to know who your dad was. He wasn’t a bad person because of his past. He had wild times like a lot of people do. But I wanted you to know your father had every intention of doing right by Ayden. He never knew he had another son until Ayden walked into his office one day. He was skeptical thinking that Debra had sent him to scam money out of him. But they did a DNA test. Ayden is your brother. Your full blood brother.”
I held my head in my hands. I knew from the moment Ayden had spit that information out to me it was true. The resemblances between us were so strong. “What about Amelia? Is she my sister? Whatever happened to her?”
Clayton shook his head. “That, I’m not too sure about. I only saw Rita when she came back and was with your father. The last I heard about her was she died in a fire. As far as Amelia goes, I don’t know anything about her. She may or may not be your sister.”
“Did my father know anything about her?”
“He was never sure. When Rita and he started dating again, she told him Amelia wasn’t his. But Rita started getting back on drugs again which is why your father broke it off with her.”
At this point, I didn’t care. My stomach was churning and it felt as though I had drank acid. I just wanted to go back to bed. “Clayton, I’m not feeling well. I must ask you to leave now. Thank you for coming.” I stood up to shake his hand.
“Son, you’ve turned out well. Your dad would be proud. You won’t be seeing me again. I don’t think I’ll last out the month. It took all my strength to come here today. I just wanted to do right by your father. I should’ve told you this a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry you’re ill, Clayton.”
We briefly embraced as he turned to leave.
“Thank you, Clayton. I know my dad considered you a good friend.”
Tears dampened his face. “I loved him, Ash. He was one of the best friends I ever had. I miss him. I expect I’ll be seeing him again soon.”
Saddened and shocked by his revelations, I watched him leave. I knew I’d never see him again.
Clutching the banister, I ascended the stairs back to my room.
Amber was waiting sitting in the chair by the window. “Are you okay, Ash? You’re as white as a sheet!” She jumped up to be by my side.
“I don’t really know, Amber. I just found out some very disturbing news about my father.” I sank down on the bed.
“I’m sorry, Ash. Who was that man?”
“An old friend of my father’s. I can’t talk about it right now.”
Collapsing back onto the pillow, Amber stayed by me until I drifted off to sleep.
My dad, a hippie, a biker, and a musician.
Who would’ve thought?