Fifty Four
Ash
“Oh my God,” Amber whispered. Her hand tightened around my own.
Looking up from my plate, I saw what captured her gaze. I couldn’t believe it. The nerve of him to come here after everything that had happened!
His hair had been cut shorter much like my own. He wore a long sleeve thermal shirt. As his eyes met mine, I felt shock waves reverberate throughout my body. Horrible flashbacks of that terrifying night nearly sent me reeling.
I bolted up from my chair as he approached us.
The expression on his face was calm almost serene. As I inched away from the table, Amber grabbed my hand.
“Ash, please, don’t. Let’s just leave.”
Glancing down, I saw how terrified she was.
Her face had gone pale. Her eyes wide with fright. “I can’t…I’ve had enough,” she whispered.
Ayden continued to walk towards us.
I stood my ground with my hand on Amber’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” I whispered to her. Tightening my jaw, I glared at him. Why was he here? I had told him I would be in contact with him whenever I was ready to talk to him.
“Ash, please let me speak to you both.” His demeanor was much softer than I recalled and his hands were outstretched.
“What the fuck do you want?” I hissed through clenched teeth.
The other diners were turning to look at us.
Ayden stepped closer. “I don’t want a fight, Ash. I came to apologize.”
Amber sucked in her breath.
I tightened my grip on her. “Ayden, you have no business near us. I told you I would text you when I was ready to talk. Now isn’t the time.”
Other diners had now stopped eating to watch.
“I know, Ash, I just couldn’t wait any longer. Look, Ash, you don’t want a scene here. I don’t either. Please, let me sit down and we can talk.”
The pleading in his voice despite my initial misgivings sounded sincere.
I gestured to the chair, as I wanted to avoid further disruption in the restaurant. The press had already been hounding me since the abduction and my subsequent stabbing.
Amber scooted her chair as far away from Ayden as she could. She cringed next to me holding my hand tightly.
Ayden slid into the chair across from us.
The other diners, sensing that a conflict was not forthcoming, went back to their meals.
“Just what do you want, Ayden? Haven’t you done enough?” I spoke to him through gritted teeth.
Ayden gestured to the waiter to bring him a drink. “Yes, I know I’ve done some terrible things. I can’t even begin to convey how sorry I am. When I found out who my father was and that you were my brother…well, I took a turn down a dangerous path.” Ayden’s eyes reflected remorse as much as I hated to see it.
“Look, I don’t give a shit about what you did to me. It’s what you did to Amber. There was absolutely no excuse for the abuse you inflicted upon her and then abducting her! I just can’t…no, I can’t forgive that.” I shook my head enraged that he would even have the audacity to sit here and speak to us.
Actual tears welled up in Ayden’s eyes. He shifted his gaze to Amber. “I know,” he spoke in a low voice.
Amber held my hand tightly. I could feel her trembling.
“Ayden, you’re causing Amber much distress. Please leave. Whatever business we have is between us. Leave her out of this or I will call the police. They’ll revoke your parole if I tell them you’re the one who stabbed me.”
Ayden looked down and nodded his head. “Ash, Amber, I’m sorry. I only wanted to tell you that. You have no reason to fear me anymore, Amber. What I did was…oh God, it was completely insane.”
Amber nodded stiffly.
Ayden rolled up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal his muscular arm.
“And I had the tattoo removed.” Her name which had once been emblazoned on his left arm had indeed been removed.
Amber sighed with relief. I felt her relax a bit.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I nodded as he sipped his drink.
“That’s just the first step. I want to make amends for what I’ve done. You see, Ash, growing up with our mother wasn’t easy as you can imagine.”
“That doesn’t excuse what you did, Ayden.”
“I know that, Ash. I just want us to be able to talk about it. Growing up with her scarred me in ways you can’t imagine. I don’t want to get into it all here, but it was bad. Worse than you can imagine. I know how much you despise her for leaving you, but believe me, she did you a favor.”
I leaned back and absorbed what he said. Perhaps she had. The broken down woman I’d rescued from a heroin overdose didn’t appear to be the most stable or loving of mothers. “Maybe so, Ayden.”
“And you grew up with our father. Once I knew who he was I tried to get him to meet with me, talk with me, and have a relationship.”
My heart thumped as he brought up my father. I just couldn’t stomach anything bad being said about him.
“But he didn’t want me, Ash, at first.” Ayden’s eyes looked sad as he finished the rest of his drink.
I stared at him. I supposed he wanted me to feel sorry for him and in a way, I did. I knew how much my father’s approval and love meant to me. If I hadn’t had it, I don’t know what I would’ve done. Feeling a sharp, shooting pain in my shoulder, I knew that all the abuse in the world didn’t excuse him from what he’d done to me and Amber. “I don’t know what you want. Do you want me to feel sorry for you? Maybe I would have had you not stabbed me or kidnapped Amber. No, Ayden, any chance you and I had at any kind of relationship is gone now.” I motioned for another glass of Macallan.
Ayden’s angular jaw tensed.
I had no idea what he was hoping to achieve by sitting here with us, but I could tell Amber had had enough. She was still trembling.
“No, I don’t. I just wanted you to know that I never began this journey intending to hurt you or Amber. When I found out who my father was, who you were, I came to New York wanting to meet you both. I was excited. Finally, I would have a brother and a real father! After years of living with Mom, there was going to be someone I could count on, someone to be a real family to me.” Ayden’s hands cupped his glass thoughtfully.
“When did you first find out?” Despite my loathing of him, I found myself curious.
Amber sat still as a statue looking ahead past Ayden.
“I had just turned eighteen. Things were not going well for me to say the least. I had some issues with drug addiction, but I won’t bore you right now with all those details.”
“Ayden, I already told you now is not the time.”
Ayden stood up. “I’m sorry. It’s been several weeks and I was just anxious to talk with you. I saw you two here and I couldn’t help but come by to express my apologies.”
“Duly noted, Ayden. I promise I will text you soon. I have information that I think you’d like to hear and I want to hear what you know about my father.”
“Our father,” Ayden corrected.
I nodded.
“Yes, he’s the only reason I’m speaking to you now.”
“Thank you, Ash. Amber, again, words can’t express how sorry I am.” His head was bowed almost as if he was submitting himself to her.
She clutched my hand tightly. She couldn’t bring herself to speak to him.
We both watched as Ayden left the restaurant.
Naturally, neither one of us was hungry after that. We drove back to my house in silence.
“Are you really going to meet with him, Ash?”
I turned to face her. The wind was so strong it rocked the car as we drove making it difficult to steer. “Yes, I am. There’s so much I found out about my father I have to talk with him about it. I’m sorry if that upsets you. I will ensure you are not here when he comes.”
She waved her hand at me. “It’s not that. I’m just worried he’ll try and hurt us again. He’s dangerous.”
“A few weeks ago I would’ve agreed with you, Amber, but did you see that gold cross around his neck? The submissive stance he had? Something is different about him.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it. I think he’s truly remorseful.”
Amber was silent a moment.
“At least I hope so.”