The crowd screams as I finish my routine—money at my feet, men bellowing my name, some of them even begging. I’ve had more than one note tossed on the stage with a number, or a full name. They yell out their names to me a lot, almost like they’re hoping I’ll look them up and contact them. As if. I’m not stupid.

God.

Not stupid at all.

I blow the crowd a kiss and then saunter off the stage and into the back dressing room. I’m sweating, it’s warm out there tonight, too many men in a not big enough space. It’s cheap night, which means there is double what there normally is out there. Good for us girls, though. We clean up. I take a towel and gently pat my brow, and then turn and see Harper chatting to another new girl, Amy. Amy took Pamela’s place. And I really like her, but it took a long time to look at her, and not think about Pam. I still think about Pam. Every single time I’m in this place. I swear sometimes, I hear her voice. Remember her laugh. I miss her so badly, but I have to keep going.

We all do.

I get changed out of my outfit, and then go over and join them.

“Hey, Harper.” I smile at them.  

“Hey, sugar. Amy here was just telling me that she met a new man.”

I smile at the new girl, plop my bottom on the dresser, and say, “Tell me everything.”

She laughs and tells us about a new man she’s met, and how he is so sweet and doesn’t care that she’s a stripper. I feel genuinely happy for her; after all, most men wouldn’t deal with a woman stripping. I know if I was a man, I probably wouldn’t like it. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of. We’re all just doing what we have to do. And in the end, it’s our body to play with, is it not?

“I wish I could find a man like that,” I sigh dreamily, pouting.

“Me too,” Harper huffs. “But you’re super lucky, we’re happy for you.”

Amy beams. “Yeah, he’s so nice. It feels nice to have someone accept me just the way I am.”

“Until he comes and watches you, and doubt gets in and starts growing like a weed until he’s paranoid and follows you everywhere ...”

We all turn to see Yana leaning against the dresser across from us, her eyes piercing into Amy. Bitch. She loves to torment everyone, me mostly, but new girls also.

“Well, why not join the conversation you weren’t invited to, Yana?” Harper snaps, giving her a glare.

“I’m just pointing out the obvious!” Yana shrugs, smirking.

“Why? Experienced it, have you? Last time I checked, there were no men snooping around here for you. Just Nicolai. And half the time he can’t even stand your ass.” Harper smirks right back.

Yana’s cheeks get red, and she growls, “Watch it, Harper.”

Sigh.

I’m not dealing with this crap, no sir, not today. I smile at Harper and Amy and go grab my things. I was the last dance for the night, and I’m exhausted. Lucy and I went out last night with a few of her friends, and I barely got any sleep. Then I had to work tonight, so it’s safe to say all I’m thinking about right now is my bed.

“I’m out of here,” I say to the girls. “Goodnight.”

“Be careful out there in the dark, Shania,” Yana growls, glaring at me. “You remember what happened to the last one?”

Bitch.

Cold hearted bitch.

“You’ll pay for your words one day, Yana,” I snap at her. “And I hope to hell it hurts. You bitch. You heartless bitch.”

I turn and walk out to the sounds of Harper telling Yana off further. I look around for Eddie, he usually walks us out. He has to now, after what happened to Pamela. He must be busy, so I wait a few minutes, yawning. I’m so tired. Seriously. And my car is parked right there. Right there.

I probably shouldn’t go out on my own.

But I’m going to fall asleep standing up if I don’t get home.

I sling my pack over my shoulder and walk out the back door and directly to my car which wouldn’t even be five meters away. I pull out my keys and unlock the door, going to open it, when someone comes up behind me.

It happens to fast, I honestly don’t know what’s going on for a few seconds.

There is a hand over my mouth, and I’m being jerked backward into a chest. A man.

I scream, but it’s muffled because of the hand pressed over my mouth. I squirm and kick, but the man is dragging me backward. Panic grips me, and my whole body tenses up as he pulls me farther and farther away. I do everything I can to break free. I kick, I squirm, I scream, but to no avail. He’s moving quickly, pullin me along as if I weigh nothing. My eyes are darting around, looking for something, anything to help me.

Then suddenly, I’m released.

It happens quickly. I’m being dragged, and then I’m on the floor. The sounds of men grunting can be heard, and I turn to see Nicolai on top of a man. I can’t see his face, I don’t know who he is, but Nicolai is punching him, over and over, their bodies rolling around on the hard ground of the parking lot, their grunts filling the night air.

The man hits Nicolai, and he stumbles backward, and before he can get up to keep fighting, the man runs. He runs fast, his boots crunching along the ground, and he disappears into the darkness. For a few moments, all I can hear in the now silent night is my panting, my ragged panting. My dress is torn, my purse is god knows where, and I’m terrified. Utterly terrified.

My eyes move to Nicolai, and the moment I see him, I start to cry. I don’t know why. Adrenaline, maybe, but it just pours out, tears flowing down my cheeks, my whole body shaking. That man was going to take me and do god knows what with me. All because I didn’t wait for Eddie, because I wanted to go to sleep, and I wasn’t thinking. Pamela lost her life doing the same thing, and I was honestly stupid enough to come out here on my own.

What is wrong with me?

Nicolai stands, walking toward me, dusting off his suit as he moves. He has blood running from the knuckles on one hand and his eyes are angry.

He’s angry.

He reaches me, leans down, curling his hands around my upper arms, and hauls me up. I whimper as I land on my feet. He pulls me close, so close I can see the speckles of gold flickered in his eyes, and he barks, “What the fuck were you thinking? Did you not fucking see what happened to Pamela?”

I open my mouth, but all that comes out was a sob.

He shakes me a little. “Fucking answer me, Shania!”

“I’m sorry,” I croak, and then start crying even harder.

Dammit.

I feel pathetic. I hate that I’m crying like this.

But that scared me. Right down to my bones.

“Fuck.”

Nicolai moves, pulling me into his arms, my cheek slamming against his chest. For a moment, I don’t know what to do, but then, I take the chance he’s offering. I wrap my arms around him and hang onto him. It feels good. Really good. I haven’t been hugged in such a long time, gosh, I had forgotten how safe it felt to be wrapped in a man’s arms. I turn my face into his chest, and just breathe in. He smells incredible.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, pulling me back and looking down at me, “You gotta stop, Shania.”

“Stop?” I squeak, confused.

“With the fuckin’ sweet innocent act. It’s killin’ me. Makin’ me want things I can’t have. Stop it. Just fuckin’ stop.”

“I’m not ...”

I stare up at him, honestly confused. What act? I’m not putting on some sort of act. Sure, on the stage I do, but out here, me and him, I’m just being myself. Sure, I’m young, and he’s the first real man I’ve experienced, but I’m still trying to just be who I am.

“Fuck it.”

I blink once, and then his lips are on mine, and he’s kissing me, long and deep and hard. And for a minute, I’m stunned. It is the last thing I expected him to do, that’s for certain. But he’s doing it. He’s kissing me. I whimper at the realization and kiss him back, taking him in, letting my tongue dance with his, letting the sensations fill my body and make me feel warm inside. This kiss, it is unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life.

Yes, this kiss ... I can feel how much he wants me.

He lets me go, growling something, and then says, “Can’t be doing this. You know it. I know it.”

“You do with Yana ...” I frown.

“Yana is over twenty-one. Yana is a woman.”

“And I’m not?” I say, hurt, so hurt.

“No, you’re still a girl.”

“I’m eighteen!”

He shakes his head. “You’ve got a crush on me, I get it. I like you, too. You’re fuckin’ hard to stay away from. I want to be the one to put my cock in you for the first time, so much so it consumes me. So you see, my intentions for you, Shania, are not pure. I’m not here to sweep you off your feet. I’m here because I want to fuck you.”

I blink, and my cheeks burn.

But in a good way.

He wants me?

He wants me!

“I want you to do that,” I say, staring up at him.

He looks confused for a second, like that is the absolute last thing he expected me to say. He shakes his head and steps back, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck, you’re not getting me. You’re too young for this. Go home, Shania. Go home and never, fuckin’ ever, come out here on your own again.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he takes me by the arm and pulls me towards my car, he opens the door and practically throws me in. “Go home, now.”

“Nicolai ...”

“Now, Shania.”

Hurt that he’s dismissing me after openly admitting he wants me smashes me right in the chest. I mean, if he didn’t like me, he could have just told me to go home and be done with it. He didn’t have to kiss me. Didn’t have to tell me he wanted me. Didn’t have to do any of it. So why did he, only to turn around and tell me nothing can happen?

I open my mouth to speak again, but he slams the door and turns his back, striding off.

Well.

Fuck you too, Nicolai.

Fuck you too.