I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I never thought I’d be the girl, standing here, doing what I’m about to do. I never thought I would have let my life go so far off the rails I became this desperate. I never thought it would be me. Never. Not for a single second.

But here I am, standing out the front of a strip club.

I can pin point the exact moment everything went wrong for me. It was when my father passed away and my selfish, self-centered mother got everything. She took it all and left me and my sister, Lucy, with absolutely nothing. She never wanted us. She told us that our entire lives. She only ever had us because he wanted us. And if it wasn’t for him, she never would have had children. We were nothing but thorns in her side. She made sure we knew our entire lives that we made her existence that much worse.

So when he passed, before his will was finalized, she got it all. And Lucy and I no longer had a home. We can fight it, sure, but with what? Neither of us had any money. I had just started working at the young age of eighteen, and Lucy, seventeen, was still finishing school. Mom kicked us out, without a second thought, and I had to move into a tiny one-bedroom apartment and get two jobs to try and support Lucy and myself.

Lucy was going to quit school and work too, but I wasn’t going to let that happen.

I was going to step up.

But stepping up ... That was proving to be harder than I could possibly imagine. Paying rent, and food, and utilities—it was eating away every cent I was earning and more. Now I’m behind, in so many things, and this is my only option. I have a friend, Pamela, and she told me she does this on the weekends. And that she has paid all her bills and saved money to go to college. She swears it is a good life, you get treated well ... All you have to do is take your clothes off and dance.

Doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world for her.

But for me, that is the worst thing I could possibly think of doing.

My daddy raised me right with respect and morals. He made sure Lucy and I were ladies and nothing less. If he was looking down on me right now, he’d be ashamed.

And that makes my heart ache with disappointment.

In myself, mostly.

But I hope he would understand that I have no other choice. If I don’t go in here and I don’t do this then Lucy and I won’t have a home, she won’t be able to finish school, and everything will be turned upside down. I can’t let that happen.

So, here I am.

I stare up at the flashing sign with a girl hanging upside down off a pole. Everyone knows this club, Tainted Night, and everyone knows it is a popular, well-to-do place. Pammy told me they were looking for a new dancer to work three nights a week and that she put my name in. I’m about to step into the large, red-brick building with a flashing pink sign and give my life away. My dreams. My hopes. My aspirations.

If I walk in here, I have to put it all behind me.

Because there will be no getting it back.

Taking a deep breath, I think about Lucy and our future, and I open the front door and step into a large hall where two bouncers are checking identification. I line up and make my way closer, feeling my chest clench, my stomach turn, and my breathing become labored. I’m scared. I’m so afraid. But I can’t turn back.

“I.D.,” the bouncer orders, palm out.

“I’m here to see, ah, Nicolai Peterson for a job.”

I hand the I.D over. The bouncer stares at me, then at it. Of course I’m underage in the drinking community, but dancing ... well, they’ll take you at eighteen. Probably less, in some clubs. The bouncer, who is a large, attractive black man, nods and says, “I’ll take you through. What’s your name?”

“Shania.”

He walks into the club, and I’m immediately assaulted by music, flashing lights, and two massive stages where two very attractive women are currently dancing. One stage has a pole right down the middle and the girl is swinging off it wearing only a pair of tiny panties. The other stage, the girl is fully naked and dancing, running her hands all over herself, and men are just throwing money on the stage.

There are booths, a bar, and even pool tables.

And a whole lot of men.

Men that leer at me as I walk past, following the bouncer until he reaches a set of stairs. We walk up them and come to another floor which overlooks the stages and the main area. We reach an office, and the bouncer pounds on the door. I wait, barely breathing I’m so scared. The door opens and a man appears. He’s young, a whole lot younger than I would have ever guessed. He’s maybe late twenties, thirty if he’s lucky. He’s got dark hair, dark as the night, that is messy and long and curls at the base of his neck.

His eyes are piercing green and absolutely beautiful. They’re hard to look away from.

He’s tall and well-muscled, and he’s wearing a suit. He has rings on his fingers, and skin so olive it looks like he sees the sun a fair bit.

He’s gorgeous. Even at my age, with my lack of experience, I know this. He’s the kind of man that would take your breath away and never return it. He makes you weak at the knees just looking at him. Everything about him is perfection. Pure, rugged perfection.

“Girl says she’s here to see you about the job.”

The man looks to me finally, and my heart skips a beat. My lord he’s beautiful. I take a steadying breath, and wait ... just wait. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, or what I’m supposed to say, so I just stand there, watching him, no doubt looking really doe eyed.

“Thank you, Ronald. That will be all.”

The bouncer disappears, and the man in front of me looks down. I’m going to assume this is Nicolai, because I’ve been left here with him.

“I’m Nicolai,” he says, confirming my thoughts. “You must be Shania. Pamela told me about you. Come in.”

I swallow and follow him into the large, well-lit office. He points to a large, plush, black sofa and I sit down, staring up at him. He looks even more perfect from down here.

“Tell me why you want the job, Shania. Have you ever danced before?”

“No, I haven’t,” I admit. “And if I’m being totally honest with you. I don’t want the job. I don’t want to do this. But I will. I will because my sister is counting on me to support her. Because I have no other way out. I need the money. And because of that, you can be assured I’ll always show up, and I’ll always put my best effort in, because that’s who I am and how I’m raised. I’m a hard worker, no matter the line of work.”

Nicolai stares at me and then sits down on the chair over from me, studying me. “That’s very honest. I can’t say I’ve ever had a woman so honest. They usually tell me what I want to hear, but you ...”

“I’m not a liar, sir,” I say, keeping my hands in my lap. “I’m doing what I feel I have to do to keep afloat. I’m sure you can understand that. I haven’t danced, but I can learn.”

He puts his chin in his hand and watches me for a second. I can barely breathe with his eyes on me. “You’re certainly one of a kind. Are you sure this is what you want, Shania? Girls like you—smart, beautiful, honest—shouldn’t be in a place like this.”

“Sometimes girls like me don’t have a choice. Sometimes, no matter how smart you are, it isn’t enough to pay the bills. I can’t work three jobs, even then I still wouldn’t earn enough. This is my option. And I need this job.”

“You know you have to take your clothes off, and dance ...”

I nod, even though my stomach feels sick at the mention of getting naked.

“You don’t have to do private dances, but you will get naked on stage. Not always fully naked, mostly men are happy with down to very, very small panties, but it isn’t something that you’re going to be able to escape from. You’re going to show everyone every piece of you.”

“Wrong,” I say. “I’m showing them nothing of me except my flesh. That is not a person, if you don’t mind me saying.”

Nicolai grins. “You’re definitely one of a kind, aren’t you? Stand up.”

I do as he says, and he stands in front of me. He walks forward and murmurs, “Take your shirt and skirt off, down to your underwear.”

Pamela told me he’d ask this. She said to be prepared for it, and if I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t get the job. Hell, I even practiced at home. I knew I needed this, no matter how sick it made me feel thinking about it.

Slowly, I stand. I take a deep, shaky breath and swallow, then I unbutton my blouse and let it drop to the ground before shimmying out of my skirt. I made sure to wear sexy underwear that enhanced what I had. I’m not lacking, I already know this. I’ve always been curvy, and even though I’m small, I have shape. My breasts are full, and my ass is round. I’ve been complimented on both many times before.

“Turn,” Nicolai says, and, slowly, I turn, making sure to stop my knees from shaking because god knows they want to.

When I’m facing him again, he lets his eyes scan over me and then says, “Lovely figure. Curvy. Men love curvy. Ass to die for, you’ll get away with keeping panties on because they’ll enhance your backside. Nice tits. Fuckin’ lovely face. Long hair. You’re what they want. And you have that innocence about you which will drive them mad ...”

I flush. I’ve always been told I’m pretty. But I won’t lie, it feels nice to be reminded of it.

“You a virgin?”

I blink, and for a second, I just stare at him. His question startled me. How does he even know? I didn’t expect it. But, as always, I answer honestly. I’ve never had it in me to lie. Not ever. “Yes.”

His brows go up. “Never seen that before. Use it to our advantage. Men know you’re untouched, you’ll be pulling in more than you can spend.”

I didn’t really want that to be something that was known, purely because of fear. I mean, if they know I’m untouched, won’t they want to ... well ... touch me? That would make it unsafe for me, wouldn’t it? I know what kind of creeps are out there. I’m not stupid.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Nicolai says, standing and spinning me around so my back is facing him. His body is close. So damned close I can barely breathe. “You feel unsafe if people know that, but I can assure you, sweetheart, my dancers are always protected. I take care of my girls.”

His girls.

He takes this seriously. Really seriously.

“This job is my life, and I’ve worked hard for my good reputation. No harm will come to you while you’re on my stage, or before, or after.”

I swallow, and his fingers glide down my spine, making my skin prickle. “Now shake your ass.”

I take a shaky breath and start moving my bottom, shaking it from side to side, slowly, sexually. Just like Pamela taught me.

Nicolai steps back. “Turn around, keep moving.”

I spin around slowly, and I dance. I dance to a dance I’ve been practicing for weeks for this very moment. I shake and go down slowly, knees spreading, bottom nearly touching the floor, then I come back up, eyes on his, heart pounding, stomach twisting.

“Stop,” he orders after a few minutes.

I do as he asks.

“I like you. There is something about you I don’t see often, and I know it’ll send those men that pay good money to be here over the edge. Because of that, I’m going to give you a go. One week trial; if you do well, the job is yours. You know Pamela, you can start with her and she can show you the ropes. I have three rules, Shania. No sex on the premises. No drugs. No leaving with anyone. Ever. You leave with the security provided, at all times. Are we clear?”

I nod. “Yes. Thank you.”

He studies me again. “We’ll see how you go. It’ll either make you or break you. Right now, I’m not sure which one it’s going to be.”

I stare at him, and my heart twists. A strange feeling I’m not familiar with.

I have a feeling he’ll either make me.

Or break me.

And I, too, don’t know which it’s going to be.

But I have a feeling ...

Nicolai Peterson is going to ruin my life.

One way or another.