Lincoln stares at me.

I stare at him.

I’m not backing down. He’s not backing down.

He wants to know more. He is not getting more.

I told him what I wanted, and that’s that.

He hasn’t said a word. Not a damned word.

“You were a stripper,” he mutters, finally.

Of course that’s what he zoned in on.

“Yes. I was desperate.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” I snap. “Desperate is desperate. Does it matter?”

“Does when I’m lookin’ for someone.”

“No, because the someone you’re looking for is a big name, I just don’t have the resources to chase after him, obviously.”

“You’re not goin’ to tell me why you want him found?”

I grit my teeth and glare at him.

“So you want me to believe you are just lookin’ for someone, for no particular reason. I call bull-fuckin’-shit. There is more to it. You either tell me, or I’ll fuckin’ find out myself.”

He’ll never find out though.

Not ever.

At least, not about that.

“I’ve told you all you need to know. What happens after we find him is up to me.”

“Not if he’s dangerous ...”

I exhale. “Look, Lincoln, I appreciate your help. Really I do. But I’m not telling you why I need to find him, you’re just going to have to trust me when I say it is important.”

“I won’t ask why you’re lookin’ for him, but I do want to know what went down. Obviously you and he were pretty close.”

My chest clenches, and I struggle to breathe. Even thinking about Nicolai now makes my heart do stupid things. My therapist told me it was almost like I had some mental attachment to him, an obsession, but I never went back to find out why. All I know, is that when I think of Nicolai, my mind does silly things. I know how bad he is. Hell, I hate him with the fire of a thousand souls, and yet I’m weak when it comes to him. My body. My mind.

I was obsessed.

He consumed my life.

At least, that’s how I saw it.

It wasn’t the same for him, which I found out the hard way.

And then he just went and took it all away from me.

And only now have I found the strength inside to find him.

I have to.

I just have to.

“Look,” I say, my voice a little too shaky for my liking. “Nicolai and I, we have an edgy past. I’m not proud of the way I acted when it came to him. I was obsessed. He consumed my life. Even now, the very thought of him makes me feel weak, and not in a good way. He has this control over me. This power. And it took me a long damned time to get myself away from the powerful grip he had on me.”

“Makes me think you’re findin’ him out of your own spite,” Lincoln mutters. “Or maybe he is hiding from you for a reason. You gotta give me reason to believe in you, Shania. Because right now this story just ... doesn’t add up.”

“If you don’t want to trust me, fine,” I snap, slamming my hands onto the table and standing. “I’m not going to beg you to believe me, Lincoln. I’m not a bad person, and I’m not trying to stalk him, or get him back, or seek out my revenge. I have a damned genuine reason to find him, and if you’re not going to help me do that, then I’ll go to the club and they will. I do not have to put up with your macho bullshit. Nor do I need your help.”

Lincoln stands and moves around the table quickly, so quickly I stumble backward, looking up at him, mouth parting in a silent gasp. He reaches me, and I shuffle backward until my back hits a wall. He zones in, face close to mine, and growls, “Do not threaten me, woman. I do not appreciate being spoken to the way you just spoke to me.”

“And I don’t appreciate being questioned,” I snap back.

“Be careful, Shania. You’re pushin’ my buttons.”

“Oh, what are you going to do?” I challenge. “Steal my fucking panties again?”

A low growl escapes Lincoln’s throat, and then he moves, quick as lightning. His hands curl around my waist and haul me so close our bodies press together. Then his other hand slides down, gripping my ass so tightly it burns, but god does it feel good. His hot breath pants out against my face as he growls, “I could have you moanin’ my name in a fuckin’ second, Shania. A fuckin’ second.”

I swallow. “You wish.”

He leans in, head tipping to the side, and he latches onto my neck, biting me so hard I scream, “Lincoln! Stop!”

He pulls back, a feral grin stretching across his face. “Told you.”

“That wasn’t moaning, asshole, and that’s going to leave a mark!”

He steps back, releasing me, and I hate that my body is wound up, my pussy pulsing, my legs trembling. I want him, oh boy do I want him. And yet, I can’t stand him. I feel like that makes me want him even more, for some twisted reason. I wish my brain would recognize that wanting someone who is bad is not healthy. Honestly, it’s like it feeds on the bad boys. Like they’re what keep it powering.

That thought is sobering, and I slip out from Lincoln’s space and rub my neck as I walk into the kitchen.

I can’t do this.

Spend my life letting awful men affect me.

Okay, Lincoln is hardly awful. He’s actually really decent, but he’s still no good for me.

“I think that’s all you need for the night,” I say, staring at him.

He crosses his big arms. And God does he look fucking perfect. So perfect my jaw tenses and I have to look away.

“I’ll look into Nicolai, see what I can find, see where he went. But you gotta know, Shania, with so little information, not really sure where else I’m goin’ to take this outside of finding his location.”

“That’s all I need. I’ll handle the rest.”

Will I, though?

Because Nicolai is a powerful man, and he can be incredibly difficult when he wants to be. I know full well I can’t just waltz in there and assume that he’ll just give in to my wishes and all will be well in the world again. No, he’s hiding from me for a reason. And getting back what I need is going to prove harder than I could have ever imagined.

But I can’t involve anyone else.

This is my monster to slay.