I can’t wipe the smile from my face.

Giddy.

That’s the only word I can think of to describe it. I feel like a million dollars. Like I could conquer the world. I just feel ... spectacular. And I have Nicolai to thank. The way he was with me a few nights ago, when he took my virginity, made me feel like I honestly mattered. He even took me home and called to check on me later. That felt nice, really damned nice, because it means he cares.

And it has been a long time since someone cared.

So, I went above and beyond today. My hair is extra nice, I’m wearing my sexiest outfit. I can’t stop thinking about what it is we might do next time. The thrill of not knowing when or where it’s going to happen makes me feel incredible. With a grin as big as this building, I stroll down toward his office after my dance. I’m going to surprise him. I’m warm, and panting, and I know he likes it when girls look like that.

I reach his office and consider knocking but decide I’m going to just waltz in; if he isn’t in there, maybe I’ll sit on his desk, naked. My cheeks flush and I push the door open, stopping dead when I see that Nicolai is indeed in his office, and he’s not alone. He’s sitting on the sofa, pants down, and Yana is kneeling between his legs, sucking him. His head is tipped back, eyes closed, and she’s working hard to make him feel as good as he’s clearly feeling.

I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face.

I feel like a thousand knives have been shoved into my gut.

This man took my virginity. I thought ... I thought he cared.

Hurt, I rush out, leaving the door wide open. I hurry back to the dressing rooms, trying to fight the tears that want to break free. He told me he was done with Yana, I asked him just the other day when he called. He lied. He just used me so he got to claim the title of taking my virginity. My heart burns as I strip down and change into my going home clothes, a pair of short shorts and a tank. I’m in a daze as I pull a brush through my hair.

“Honey, are you okay?”

I glance up and see Harper standing beside me, her face concerned. She just finished up with her dance, and she’s glistening with sweat.

“I’m okay. I just don’t feel well.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, clutching my purse close, and tell her I’ll see her tomorrow. I walk out the front of the club, instead of going through the back. Stuff Nicolai and all his rules. Clearly, they don’t matter to him. Not at all. Just like I don’t. My chest burns as I step out into the main club. I glance at the exit and start walking toward it, holding my head high, because damned if he’ll see me looking like any less than the god damned diva I am.

I’ll cry when I get home.

When he can’t see.

“Hey there.”

I stop when a handsome voice catches my attention. I glance to my left to see a very good looking man in a suit sitting at the bar. He smiles at me, and it doesn’t look sleazy, just friendly. He has the most dazzling hazel eyes I’ve ever seen on a man. He’s quite the stunner. His sandy blond hair is messy atop his head, which is quite different from the pristine suit he’s wearing.

“Oh, hey,” I smile back.

“I’m Jack.”

I turn more toward him. “Shania.”

“Nice to meet you Shania, what are you doing in a place like this?”

“I’m just leaving, I work here.”

His brows go up. I’m guessing he didn’t see my dance. “Oh, that’s great. Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

I shrug. “It’s okay.”

“You look like you could use a drink, will you join me for one?”

I don’t dare tell him I’m underage. Because, I could really use a drink, even though the bar staff all know who I am.

“I’m not ... I’m not sure,” I tell him, because I could get into a lot of trouble.

“I promise it’s just a drink, I’m not going to proposition you for anything more.”

I bite my lip, and then nod. “Sure, but can we sit over there?”

I point to a booth that isn’t directly in the line of sight. If I’m caught drinking, I’ll probably lose my job. But I’m sure I can sneak one in.

“Okay, I’ll meet you over there. What will you have?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Surprise me.”

Then I move through the crowd, all men, and sit at the booth. I feel uncomfortable, I can see all their eyes on me. So many of them wanting to come over and say something, but all of them knowing full well the rules of the club say that you do not engage the strippers or you’ll be kicked out. So none of them actually come over, thank god.

Jack brings two drinks back, something mixed with cola, I don’t really care what. He sits down and slides one toward me. I take it and sip it, probably a little too fast. I want the ache in my belly to go away. The mental imagine of Nicolai and Yana. God damn. It hurts. And I hate that it hurts, because we’re not even a thing. I don’t know what we are. But I did honestly think there was something there, that he actually liked me.

I gave him my virginity.

Clearly that meant nothing to him.

“You don’t look too happy tonight, Shania?” Jack says.

I exhale. “No, you could say that, I guess. I just found out the man I ... have been with ... was with another woman.”

Jack’s face tightens, and he frowns, “I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s awful.”

I nod. “Yeah, it didn’t feel nice. I actually ... saw them together.”

Jack looks even more pissed now. “What a jackass.”

I laugh softly. “Yeah, that he is.”

“Tell me something about yourself, Shania, anything. I’m intrigued.”

I shrug. “There isn’t much to tell. This is my job. I live with my sister. I’m just a normal girl trying to get ahead in life.”

“You just don’t seem like you fit this kind of place. You’re genuine. Real. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Sometimes you do what you have to do to get ahead, I was struggling, I didn’t have a great deal of choices.”

“Parents?”

“My dad is dead, my mom ... took everything and refused to help us out. She’s selfish, to say the very least.”

Jack takes a sip of his drink, no doubt to cover his disgust at my mother. “I’m sorry, that isn’t how a mother should behave.”

“What about you, Jack?” I say, changing the subject. “What brings you here?”

“Bachelor party,” he nods to a group of men, all at the stage, watching Amy dance. “I’m not much into these places, no offense or anything, but they’re just not for me.”

“I respect that.”

“Shania.”

The low whip of Nicolai’s voice has my head turning in the direction it came from. He’s striding toward our booth and stops when he reaches it, his eyes pinning Jack like he’s going to tear him apart for simply breathing.

“Nicolai, can I help you?” I ask, my voice sugary sweet.

“You can tell me what you’re doin’ here.”

“Last time I checked, what I did after I knocked off was up to me. I met Jack here, and we were talking.”

His eyes zone in on the drink I’ve got. “And you’re drinking.”

“Cola,” I point out. “Would you like to sip it and see?”

It’s a big risk, because if he does, he’ll know I’m lying. But, I figured it was worth the gamble.

“No. Get up. We need to talk.”

I grit my teeth. He doesn’t get to come down here and boss me around after what I just saw. I’m a dancer, just like any of the other girls, and he certainly wouldn’t do this to them. They often come and spend time down here.

“I’m busy, I’ve finished for the night, I’ll talk to you tomorrow when I come in for my shift.”

“You don’t get up now, you won’t have a shift to come in to.”

I gape at him. “Seriously? I’m not doing anything wrong, Nicolai.”

“I think I should leave,” Jack says, standing.

“No,” I say, at the same time Nicolai says, “Good idea.”

Jack gives me a sympathetic smile, and then walks out, leaving me with Nicolai. I stand, furious. “You want to fire me, Nicolai. Fine. I swear to god, I don’t fucking care.”

“It was you, wasn’t it. That left the door to my office open. I should have known, with the tantrum you’re currently throwing.”

I gasp, horrified. How dare he speak to me like this.

“You know what?” I laugh, but it’s bitter, and angry, and broken. “I gave you something you didn’t deserve to have. I actually thought you were a good person, a decent human being, but you’re nothing but scum, like the rest of them. You took something from me that was important, the very least, god, the very least you could have done was let me believe for a fucking little bit longer that it actually meant something.”

With that, I turn on my heel and walk out.

Screw Nicolai.

And screw his damned job.