She has a kid.

A fuckin’ kid.

I’m not entirely sure what to make of that. I’ve thought of every scenario a thousand times over in my head. I’ve wondered what it is she was hiding. I’ve wondered if it was that she still loved that douche bag, but it turns out all along, she just wanted her son back. What doesn’t make sense, is why in the hell she didn’t tell me that she had a son?

Did she think we’d judge her? Think she was a bad mom because things went wrong?

Because fuck, we wouldn’t.

I respect what she did, making the choice to give her son up. She knew she had no money, and the relationship with the father, at that point, was toxic. She wanted him to have the best life. And that takes a fuckin’ lot of balls, because most people...most people would fight it through, scrape together, make it work for their child. Sometimes though, fuck, sometimes that just makes the child grow up in a world that isn’t fair.

Shania put her son first, gotta respect that.

What I don’t respect, is how nice this jerk in front of me is being right now. He’s acting calm, too calm. As if he’s totally okay with Shania just showing up on his doorstep. When he tells her he’ll call her after he thinks about the best way to approach it, I feel uneasy. Not because I don’t think he’s telling the truth, I honestly don’t know if he is or if he isn’t, but just because I feel like he’s not telling all of the truth.

What if he does a runner again?

It’s highly possible he doesn’t want Shania to have anything to do with her son. After all, he’s made no effort to find her in the last couple of years. Why would he suddenly just accept she’s finally found him, and allow her back into their lives, no questions asked? It’s nice. Way too nice. And I don’t trust it. But at the same time, I don’t want to make things harder for Shania, because she’s so happy, so relieved. The way she’s cryin’... fuck, near on breaks my heart.

And because of that, I’m not goin’ to let her become unhappy again.

“Before we go,” I say, stepping forward just as Shania has finished giving her number over. “I have a few questions.”

Nicolai, or whatever the fuck his real name is, looks at me. His green eyes lock onto mine in challenge. He’s a powerful man, it’s written all over his face. He’s also a giant dick. While I respect he wanted his son in his life, he had no fuckin’ right to disappear with him, leaving her empty and alone. Shania is being way too calm right now, because fuck knows she needs to get angry.

She needs to make him fuckin’ understand how it felt for her.

But she’s keepin’ the peace, for now.

“What has any of this got to do with you?” Nicolai growls, his voice going from kind, to angry, in a matter of seconds.

“First of fuckin’ all, watch your tone. Second of all, it doesn’t have anything to do with me. But she has somethin’ to do with me. I’m not watchin’ her go through hell and back, if you decide to change your mind, or disappear overnight with her son again. Now, I don’t know the whole situation, don’t fuckin’ claim to ... but you takin’ her baby away from her, was a dog act.”

Nicolai’s nostrils flare, and he hisses, “She was going to take him from me.”

“No, she was going to give him a better fuckin’ life! With two parents. And a stable home. She was thinking about him. You were thinking about yourself. And when you go to sleep tonight, close your fuckin’ eyes and imagine for one damned second what you put her through. Imagine her sitting in a bathroom, breasts full of milk, not knowing where her baby is. Her body still very raw from having him, and still thinkin’ he’s there. You just fuckin’ picture that.”

Nicolai’s jaw tenses, his fists clench, and he glares at me.

Shania’s eyes go even redder, and a tear rolls down her cheek. I hit her hard with my words, and while she’s never told me any of that, I can only imagine the pain she would have felt in the days following his birth. Alone. Empty. I’m a man, and I don’t claim to understand fuckin’ anything about having a baby, but I do know a woman like Shania, it would have nearly killed her. She would have felt so fuckin’ empty she wanted to die.

She’s a strong woman, for managing to pull herself out of it, track Nicolai down, and stand here willing to put it all behind her just to see her baby.

She’s a fuckin’ incredible human.

“Lincoln, it’s okay,” Shania says softly, giving me a small smile.

“No, sweetheart, it’s not okay. You need to be sure he’s goin’ to be here when you come back to see your boy. You need that, after everything.”

“I’m not goin’ to fucking leave!” Nicolai snaps. “No matter what you might think, I wouldn’t hurt my son. He deserves to know her. I’m not going to run, but if you don’t back the fuck off, we’re goin’ to have issues.”

I ignore that.

“And Yana?”

“What about Yana?” Nicolai growls.

“That woman is untrustworthy, dangerous, and almost got Shania into some serious trouble just recently. You expect us to be okay with her hoverin’ around that boy?”

“Yana is harmless,” Nicolai crosses his arms. Big fella, really. He’d do good in a fight. Which is what he’s going to find himself in if he doesn’t shut the fuck up soon.

“She’s not, Nicolai,” Shania says, shaking her head. “I’m not trying to argue here, but she’s not safe. She told an old client from the club my name, and he found me and was inside my apartment when I came home one day. He was going to assault me, in more ways that you can think of, possibly worse. I don’t trust her. She’s an issue for me.”

Nicolai stares at her, his jaw still tight. “We’ll discuss this later.”

“Are you seeing her?” Shania asks, her eyes narrowing. “Because, honestly, that’s going to be a problem for me. That woman caused nothing but chaos in my life, I don’t want her around my son.”

“Shania,” Nicolai growls. “I’ve raised that boy on my own, you can’t come in here and throw orders around.”

“You raised him on your own because you gave me no fucking choice!” Shania cries, and then crosses her arms and stares at the ground, panting, trying to get it together.

“Okay, look,” Lucy says, stepping in. “This is going to get heated, really quickly, and nobody wants that. Nicolai, Shania is going to call you. Don’t even think about doing a runner, because I swear, I’ll hunt you down myself. She has a right to her son. You know it, I know it, we all know it. As for Yana, you two can discuss her when you’re alone, and not surrounded with people. For now, we’re going to go. Okay?”

I like Lucy.

She’s a fuckin’ good one.

“Atta girl,” Damon grins at her.

She flushes, suddenly noticing him, and then turns back to Shania. “We all good?”

“Yeah,” Shania says, her voice still a little shaky. She looks to Nicolai, “Is that okay?”

He nods. “Yeah. Next time, we talk alone. I don’t need extra complications, Shania. This is between us, and us only.”

He looks at me when he says that. I grin at him.

He doesn’t seem to like that.

Whatever.

Fuck him.

“Let’s go,” I say, reaching out and taking Shania’s arm.

She looks to Nicolai and whispers, “Please, give me a chance. Don’t run.”

He nods. “I won’t.”

And then, we all turn and pile into the truck. I look to Shania, and murmur, “You okay?”

She nods.

But her eyes, fuck, poor girl.

She looks so broken, so confused, so damned unsure of anything.

It kills me to see her like that.

I want to help her.

Fuck.

I just want her.

Period.

~*~*~*~