Chapter Eleven
Tabitha
“I SWEAR TO GOD, TABBY, if you lift one more goddamned thing, I’m going to find a closet to lock you in until we are done!” Steve scolds me as he gently takes the twenty-inch flat screen TV out of my arms. “Beth! Handle her!” he shouts behind him as he walks past me.
I walk out the front door, ignoring his ridiculous rant. I barely even have a bump, and the morning sickness is completely gone. I have more energy than I even know what to do with. My doctor hasn’t given me any sort of lifting restriction. I am fully capable of carrying in my own things from the truck.
Mathew’s truck, that Phil told me to keep. I didn’t want it, but I also didn’t have a car, so I accepted. Phil has called me every night since the funeral to check on me. It’s like I’ve gained another dad, and I don’t hate it one bit. I love Phil, and I know he’s going to be an amazing grandfather to Mathew’s and my little boy or girl. I will find out next week. I missed my sonogram over Christmas break, so we had to reschedule for a month later. Beth is going with me. I don’t think I could do it on my own. Any of it. Luckily I have the best friends in the world. They’ve stepped up and offered to help me raise this baby. We’ve always been a pack.
I walk toward the back of my truck, and I slide a small box forward so I can get a good hold of it. I think it’s the box holding my CDs. I’m about to lift it off the tailgate all the way, when the front door slams shut so hard it threatens to rattle completely off its hinges.
“Damn it!” Steve runs forward, and I drop the box back down on the gate. He lifts me up into a princess carry and starts back toward the apartment. “Beth! Where the hell are you?” he growls as he carries me inside.
He walks me over to the couch and sets me down. All the furniture was carried in last night before Beth and I even arrived. All that’s left to bring in are the boxes, small appliances, and electronics. The easy stuff I am fully capable of helping to carry in without risking the chance of going into labor. Steve’s been treating me like I’m a china doll since he found out I was pregnant, and it’s gotten worse since Mathew died. He thinks I need to be babysat and coddled every minute of the day. It’s getting on my nerves.
“I don’t have any lifting restrictions, you idiot.” I try pushing him away, but he is solid muscle. I might as well be trying to move a building. He smirks at my weak effort. “I also don’t need to be babysat.” I try to give him my best mean face to get the point across that he’s being severely annoying.
“Prom queen, if that’s your mom face, you might wanna practice it a lot more, because you’re just as intimidating as one of those marshmallow chickens they sell around Easter time.” He laughs at the face I make at his comparison.
“Peeps are terrifying if you ask me. They never seem to ever go bad. They’ll probably keep all the cockroaches alive after they both survive the nuclear Armageddon.” Beth skips up and drops onto the couch next to me. She tosses me a wink when he shakes his head in amusement.
“Only you would come up with an explanation like that.” He chuckles. He looks around for a minute before looking back at us. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve had to chase Queenie here down every two minutes, because she keeps trying to lift shit.”
“Why? She doesn’t have any lifting restrictions.” She shrugs.
“That’s what I’ve been saying!” I shout out, relieved that my girl has my back. Not that I’m the slightest bit surprised. We function on the same wavelength almost always.
Steve jumps up, pointing at the both of us. “I really hope that there’s a little dude inside your tummy, because you two are trouble, and I feel really outnumbered here.”
Beth and I immediately fall over each other in the couch, laughing hysterically because of the words that just came out of his mouth. We are laughing so hard we are both in tears when Steve finally catches on. He points at us again and backs toward the door slowly.
“You two are pervs.” He continues to back away with his hands raised when John walks into the house.
“Who’s a perv?” he asks absentmindedly, as he stares down at his phone. He doesn’t even notice the Steve and he almost collided in the doorway. He smirks and shakes his head, but I don’t think it was at anything going on here.
“Hey, baby!” Beth bounces over to plant a kiss on his lips, but he pulls his head back before her lips touch down.
“Babe,” he warns with a frown. He pockets his phone, then looks over toward Steve. “So why are we here? Let’s get this over with, I gotta head back to campus soon.”
“You’re not staying the night?” Beth pouts in disappointment.
“I told you I had to be back tonight. I’m rushing, and the frat has a list of things we gotta do tonight.”
She tries to hide her hurt and disappointment, but I see it, and I think Steve did too, but he doesn’t let it show. John seems completely oblivious to the fact he’s acting like a complete jerk right now.
“Um, right this way, dude.” Steve slaps John on the back and leads John back outside. He looks over at us. “We got all the kitchen boxes in, if you girls wanna start unpacking.” He asks politely with his eyes, but you can also see how apologetic he feels. Steve has probably the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen. The guy can’t hide anything he’s feeling.
I nod in agreement and pull Beth with me toward the kitchen. She looks close to tears, and I need to try to stop them from happening.
“Are you okay?” I ask as soon as we make it around the counter.
She shakes her head. “Yeah, he’s just been a little preoccupied lately. He’s rushing a fraternity at his school, and they’ve been really demanding.”
“That’s not excuse for him being a jerk, Beth.”
“He’s also been really distant, since…” She doesn’t have to finish the sentence, because I know she’s talking about Mathew’s death. I nod, showing that I understand where she’s going, but I don’t say anything back. My chest tightens. I fight back the tears that thinking about him brings, because this moment isn’t about me.
We’re all trying to move on without him, but it’s still so fresh, being only a few weeks, that everyone is afraid to mention him around me. Not only are they mourning for themselves, but they have me to worry about. Being pregnant with Mathew’s baby is a constant reminder that he’s no longer here. The guys feel like it’s their responsibility to keep me safe and to help me raise their best friend’s kid. I have a feeling it’s only going to get harder, and it’ll take a long time before it gets better. I almost feel like I’m burdening them, but I’m too selfish to give them up. I need them, because I’m too afraid to do this alone.
Beth and I silently get to work emptying out boxes and setting everything up in the kitchen. By the time we hit the bottom of the last box, the air feels lighter, and the grim turn in our conversation has become a thing of the past. We break down the boxes until they are a pile of flit sheets of cardboard. We each take half the stack and carry them outside toward the dumpster behind the complex that our new home is a part of.
“Wait!” Steve comes running up behind us, and I automatically roll my eyes, because this is getting out of hand.
“This is ridiculous, Steve! These boxes weight five pounds at the most.” I turn away from him and walk forward.
“That’s not what I was going to say,” he says, as he catches up and jumps in front of my path, making me stop again. “I wanted to take all the cardboard to the recycling center over in Stratford.”
“That’s forty-five minutes away.” Beth and I share amused looks, because Steve’s the farthest from environmentally conscious.
“When did you start speaking for the trees?” Beth asks, and Steve shuffles his feet where he’s standing.
He reaches his hand back and rubs the back of his neck. Steve gives us a sly little grin that usually makes the girls swoon. “Yeah, I really don’t, but remember Amy from psych? Her uncle owns the place, and she’s going to be there until the semester picks back up in a few days.” He wags his eyebrows up and down as his smile takes over the bottom half of his face.
“You’re so gross.” Beth snorts, before dropping the cardboard she was carrying at his feet. “I’m going to go find John and see if he needs any assistance.”
“Oh, you just missed him. He left like ten minutes ago,” Steve says apologetically.
“You’re joking, right?” I ask as I add my stack to the one Beth started at his feet.
“Nope. He got a call, then said he was being summoned.”
Beth looks like someone slapped her across the face but quickly tries to school her face into indifference. “I guess I’ll go unpack my room and take a nap then. I’ll hang out with you guys later.”
“Okay, sweetie.” I hate that John is making her feel so awful. I hope he’s not doing anything he’s not supposed to do, and that it all really is because he’s rushing.
Once she walks away, and it’s just Steve and me standing around watching her leave. I offer to help him carry some of the boxes, but he waves me off and takes the entire stack. He loads the cardboard in the back of his truck, and I walk inside the apartment. I might as well start unpacking my room too.
We found a four-bedroom apartment really close to campus, and with Steve, Beth, and I sharing the rent, it was actually affordable. My parents are paying for part of the rent too because we’re going to use the fourth room for a nursery when the baby comes. They want me to focus on finishing school instead of working an extra job to support myself as a single parent.
I find the box I packed with all my Mathew things, and I take a moment to look through some of it. I wipe a tear off my cheek when I pick up one of his ball caps he’d left at my parents’ house. I bring it up to my nose and breathe in his scent. It’s too much. I toss it back in the box and fold the top closed. I’m not ready to go through this yet.
I grab a chair from the kitchen table and drag it into my room by the closet. I grab the box off my bed and carry it to the chair. I climb up, stash the box on the shelf at the top of the closet, and step back, satisfied that I’ve effectively stowed away a little piece of my pain. I step back and hit nothing but air, just as a pair of hands grabs my hips and sets me back down to the floor.
“Whoa, what are you doing climbing up on chairs right now?”
As thankful as I am, I roll my eyes because Steve’s overprotectiveness has hit my last nerve. “How else am I going to get some boxes on the shelf?” I turn to face him, so he can see how annoyed I am in case he can’t hear it in my voice.
When I turn around, I see it’s Brandon instead. My cheeks heat up because I’ve embarrassed myself. Brandon did just save me from falling two feet to the ground butt first.
“What are you doing here?” I dust imaginary dust from my jeans, only offering him some of my attention.
“I came to help Beth, but she seems to already be in bed, and I couldn’t find the guys, so I came in here to see if you needed anything before I took off,” he explains with a smile. “It’s a good thing too, because you were living recklessly in here.”
I smile up at him and swat him across the stomach. “Thank you for catching me, but I’m done in here. I am hungry, though, so if you don’t mind driving, you could help me go in search of some tacos.”
“I know just the place.” He pulls his keys from his pocket and walks out of my room.
I take one more look up at the box at the top of my closet before shutting off the light and closing the door.