Chapter 34

Erica

It was odd how much I felt like I belonged at the table with Matt and his family. He made sure to pull me into every conversation and touched me in some matter over and over, almost as if he wanted to reassure me that I belonged to him, but did I?

Of course I did. Why was I fighting it so damn hard?

"I'll clean all of this stuff up," Karen spoke to Kent. "You guys just go have your meeting with Erica here. There is no reason for you to go all the way up to the office."

"Sounds good." Kent stood and stretched before glancing down at me and then to Damon. "You guys okay with that?"

Bethany and Martha picked up a handful of empty dishes, and I felt odd not helping clear the table.

"Yep. I'm going to start a fire in the living room and then we can talk. That okay?" Damon got up and moved away from the table.

"I'll help clean up and then join you guys." I smiled and stood, gathering plates and ignoring everyone fussing around me about me working on the dishes. "Hey. I like being involved in this kind of stuff. Leave it be."

Matt chuckled. "Back up, people. She gets what she wants."

"You included." I glanced over at him and gave him a cocky grin.

"You've had me for two years. I just don't think either of us fully realized it." He moved up behind me as I leaned over to get another dish and ran his hand over my hip. Luckily enough, everyone had scattered as if sensing that we needed a moment.

I turned with a handful of dishes in my hands and looked up at him. My heart skipped a beat. "I thought you wanted to talk to your family before-"

"Nope. I was wrong." He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. "And you knew I was in the wrong. You gotta start telling me. Just lay it out, bare it all."

"We're talking about the error of your ways and not sex, right?"

He smirked. "We're talking about anything you want to talk about."

"No losing your man card today." I laughed and moved around him. Trepidation would have to have its way with me another day. I was working too hard to relax and just take things in moment by moment. I wanted 'us' to move forward, for me to forgive him and not be in constant fear that I wasn't enough to keep him. We needed to talk it out, but now wasn't the time, nor the place.

I put the dishes next to the sink and reached over to rub the top of Martha's shoulders. "How long have you worked for Mr. Bryant?"

"Thirty years." Her smile beamed.

"That's incredible." I glanced back as Bethany walked back in the room. "So you've seen a lot of shenanigans with these two boys of his?"

"More than I care to discuss." She shook her head.

Bethany laughed. "Erica. We should totally have a night out with Martha. Get her a few drinks and ask for the best stories of the last thirty years."

Damon's voice startled me. "Or you should just behave and stop trying to stir shit up."

"Watch your language." Martha gave Damon a motherly look as we snickered.

"I'm sorry." He moved into Bethany's arms, leaning down to kiss her a few times as I tried to look away. "You want to hang out with Matthew while I meet with Erica?"

"Yep. I need to talk to him about the wedding anyway." She glanced over toward me. "And you too, Erica. Would you consider being one of my bridesmaids?"

How awkward would it be to agree and then have things fall between the cracks with Matt? I must have stared just a little too long.

"I mean, it's okay if not. You can just let me know when-" she started to backtrack.

"No. It's good." I forced a chuckle. "I got lost in my thoughts. Yes, I'll definitely do it for you."

Relief swept across Bethany's pretty face. "Oh, good."

"No wearing white though, okay? Only Beth gets to tell that lie." Damon wagged his eyebrows and walked out after Bethany swatted at him.

Martha glanced over her shoulder. "That boy is never going to grow up."

"Do any of them?" I smiled and wiped my hands before walking toward the living room. Strong arms wrapped around me from behind and I sunk against Matt. The familiar smell of his cologne filled my senses, and my body worked up and wanted to purr.

"Hey." He kissed the side of my neck. "You fit in almost too good here. You got plans for the rest of your life?"

I snorted. "I'm thinking that might be a little much in terms of long-range planning. I am going to be in the wedding, so if you're going to break my heart again, just make sure you do it after the event?"

He moved back, and I turned in his arms. "I was scared. You know this."

"Are you still scared?"

"Yep. Terrified." He leaned down and brushed his nose by mine, his actions in complete contradiction with his words. "Terrified that I'm going to miss out on the greatest love affair of my life."

I lifted up and pressed my lips to his. All the bullshit I'd fed myself about Tanner leaving me because I wasn't enough was just that - crap. It was a way to protect myself just in case no one ever loved me again, a way to set my expectations low.

"Stop being so sweet. You're going to melt my resolve." I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my breasts to his chest.

"Can I lick it off of you when it melts?" He nipped at my lips.

My body hummed, my nipples budded tight.

"How do you have me wanting to crawl into bed with you when last night I promised myself that I wasn't going to sleep with you again until we figured this stuff out between us?"

"Because we are figuring it out." He kissed me again as Damon groaned from down the hall.

"Really? I'm the only one that's supposed to make out with a good-looking woman in the hallway. Get your own identity, Matt!"

We laughed and pulled away from each other.

Matt wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked toward the living room. "She is insanely fine, right? Wait. Don't answer that. I'd hate to beat you up in front of her."

"Beat me up?" Damon's expression changed, and I slipped out from under Matt, knowing where it was all headed.

"Oh, Lord." Kent moved up beside me as I stopped at the edge of the living room and watched the two men circle each other, arms out, knees bent like two wrestlers. "We're not going to get anything done today."

"It would certainly seem that way." I yelped as they plowed into each other, Damon sliding back a little on the tile as Matt pushed. "Yeah, I'm out. I can't stand to see someone get hurt, and it's going to happen, isn't it?"

"Always does." Kent turned and walked into the living room. "So how are you liking Mitch? I feel like he was a big win for the firm."

I hesitated, only because the need to tell Kent that the new hire was hitting on me rode hard on my shoulders. It really wasn't that he was being inappropriate, or that I couldn't shut it down myself like a big girl, but I almost felt like I was lying by not mentioning it. Something to assess later.

"He's great. He's been really good to the staff and he's on the ball all the time." I sat down on the couch and leaned back, crossing my legs.

"He lost his wife about three years ago, and really became a good man out of it. Weird how death can force you into being a better person." Kent shrugged and sat beside me, reaching over to grab a portfolio. "Let's look at these final drawings for the advisory logo. I know Mitch was all for them. I assume I will be too."

"Highly unlikely, but I have an ace in the hole in my back pocket."

He smiled. "You made me an extra drawing?"

"Always. This isn't my first rodeo." I cringed as the guys hit the wall and laughed loudly. "Or should I say circus?"