Chapter 35

Lanie

 

“I don’t know what he expects me to do at that lodge,” Mom continued on, her voice blaring from the speakers of my desk phone. “He’s only going there because that man, what’s his name, is going there too. The one whose company your father wants to buy. He’s hoping to do some business over Christmas vacation.”

“Have you told him this?” I sifted through some papers on my desk, looking for the parent survey forms the school collected the day before.

Mom was silent. I could picture her well, probably pursing her lips as she pressed the phone to her face and looked out at the bird feeder in the backyard. It was her greatest hobby, that bird feeder. Somehow, she recognized a lot of the birds that came to it. If a regular visitor stopped coming by, she’d worry they’d been eaten by a cat or flown into a window.

“No,” Mom finally said. “You know how your father is.”

“Yeah.”

“He told me he met with Andrew.”

Segue much, Mom?

“Uh-huh,” I carefully answered, “and things are good between them now. Dad’s happy for me and Andrew.”

Happy might have been a stretch.

“Well,” Mom tartly responded. “Andrew and your father have been friends for years.”

I didn’t know where she was going with that, but the sour tone was enough to turn me off. Maybe I imagined it, but it seemed like she was suggesting Andrew and Dad’s relationship would withstand everything else, including me.

“I have to go, Mom. I have a lot of work to do.”

Also, I needed to end the conversation before paranoia completely took over.

“Okay, sweetie. You know, that cardinal with the hurt leg hasn’t been at the feeder the last couple days. I hope he’s all right.”

Yep. Bird feeder. Knew it.

“Maybe he flew south for the winter.”

“Oh, cardinals don’t migrate, Lanie.”

Right. Silly me.

“Maybe he’s at a neighbor’s feeder instead. I’ll talk to you later, Mom. Bye.”

I hung up before she could protest and got busy organizing the survey papers. I’d hoped that Mom might mention Andrew somewhere in our conversation, but things hadn’t gone as desired. For all her talk about Dad being the one most likely to flip his lid over my dating life, when it came down to it, Mom was the least-accepting one.

Whatever. I couldn’t spend all day long worrying about my parents. It was a three-day week of school, and that meant I had extra work to get done before the last day.

Surveys in hand, I carted them down the hallway and dropped them in the office with Joyce. As I left, the bell for first lunch rang. Kids catapulted from their classrooms, their shouts echoing off the walls.

Keeping close to the lockers, I wound my way through the crowd, mentally counting the number of students I could name as I went. I suspected I knew about fifty of them so far, which didn’t feel like a lot. I wanted to know each and every one of them, including the ones I’d probably never see in my office. An important part of my job was making my presence known so the kids felt they could always come to me if they needed.

Halfway to my office, I caught sight of Raven. She stood with her back to me, but I recognized her bright pink backpack right away. She talked to a dark-haired boy who leaned against a locker, arms crossed. Judging by the scowl on his face, the conversation wasn’t a happy one.

The crowd was already thinning, kids either going to the cafeteria or their next class. I edged closer to Raven and the boy, who still hadn’t noticed me.

“No one likes a liar,” Raven was saying, her voice rising with each syllable.

He shook his head. “I wasn’t lying. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”

With the speed of a professional boxer, Raven’s hand flew out. The slap resounded in the hall, and the boy put his hand to his cheek.

“What the hell?” he yelled.

Oh, brother.

Moving fast, I checked to see if anyone else had caught sight of what happened. The hallway was empty now, though, just the three of us in it. Rushing forward, I stepped up next to the two teens.

“Raven.”

Her eyes went wide.

“Come with me,” I quietly told her.

Raven’s blond brows pushed together. They were more defined than usual. In fact, she wore more makeup than I remembered her ever having on. Mascara. Lipstick. Eyeliner. The whole shebang.

“He—”

“Just come with me,” I interrupted before turning to the boy. “What do you have now?”

He dropped his arms to his sides, looking guilty. “American Government.”

“Get to it.”

He hesitated. “Can I have a note so I don’t get a tardy?”

My jaw dropped, and I searched for the words but couldn’t find any. Was this kid insane?

“Never mind,” he mumbled, rushing off down the hall.

“Let’s go to my office,” I told Raven.

Arms folded protectively across her chest, she followed me there.

“Have a seat,” I said, closing the door.

“I’m missing English.”

“That’s all right.” I sat on the edge of my desk. “I’ll write you a note. Sorry I couldn’t do the same for your friend.”

Raven snorted, and I almost smiled back, but the seriousness of the situation kept me grounded.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “You’ve been doing so well.”

Raven took off her backpack and dropped into one of the chairs with a huff. “It’s not my fault. It’s Jason. He’s a total tool.”

“That guy was Jason, I assume.”

Raven glumly nodded.

“Why did you slap him?”

“I told you. He’s an asshole.”

“Raven. I want to help you.”

She slowly lifted her eyes to mine. “As my guidance counselor or as my dad’s girlfriend?”

The question took me by surprise. Andrew had never called me his girlfriend, so I wasn’t about to go there. Luckily, the best answer was indirect.

“I’m speaking to you as someone who cares about you.” Leaving the desk, I settled in the chair next to her.

Raven studied me, the resistance in her face melting away. “Have you heard about Jason?”

I shook my head. “Should I have?”

She shrugged. “He’s just, like, really popular here.”

“Okay,” I encouraged with a nod. “What do you think of him?”

“I like him.” She twisted the end of her sweatshirt. “I mean, I did, until he had to go and be a total idiot.”

“Tell me the whole story.”

She eyed me. “Are you going to tell anyone?”

“I have to report the slap but nothing else.”

“Fine. So, here’s the thing… I liked Jason. You know, kind of a lot. And I thought he liked me too.”

“Has anything happened between you guys?”

“Yeah, last week we hung out after school, like, three days. Just me and him. No one else. As more than friends.” She gave me a meaningful look. “And everything was great. He told me he liked me, and he wanted to take me out on a date.”

“And then?”

She twirled some hair around, her eyes growing wet. “And then he made out with some girl at a party. Over the weekend. Mandy Watkins. What kind of a name is Mandy? Is this, like, the nineties?”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that comment.

“How did you find out about the girl? Did Jason tell you himself?”

“Hell, no. I heard it from, like, everyone who was at the party. He didn’t even try to hide it.” Her chin trembled with emotion. “And then I asked him just now, and he admitted to it.”

My chest tightened to see her so upset. “Raven, I’m sorry.”

She shrugged like it didn’t matter, though the tears pooling in her eyes said another story.

“It sucks when someone doesn’t like us back.”

She sat up straighter. “But that’s the thing! He said he liked me!”

“I know,” I softly answered. “Did you guys talk about being exclusive?”

“No. Course not. But he could have told me he planned on tonguing some other chick. Wouldn’t you be pissed if my dad was messing around behind your back?”

Heck yes, I would.

“Let’s keep this about Jason. We can talk about your dad when we’re not at school. Look, Raven, high school is a good place to casually date, to get to know people and learn how to socialize.”

“I don’t want to do that. I want … I just want him.”

My heart nearly broke in two. Boy, could I relate to that feeling.

“Okay.” I spread my hands. “I know you’re upset, but let’s look at this objectively. Could Jason be, you know, a player? Because if he says he likes you and then goes and kisses another girl, that sounds like a bad sign. Even if you guys haven’t talked about being in a relationship yet.”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “But just because he’s been one way with other girls doesn’t mean he’ll be that way with me.”

One day, I would have to talk to Raven about the dangers of thinking a man would change for her. In that moment, though, it was best to keep the conversation minimal.

“Here’s the thing that’s important, Raven. People are going to do what they’re going to do. We can’t control them. If we want to keep sane, we can’t let guys influence our emotions.”

Raven dryly laughed. “You never get upset over something a man does?”

“Well, yeah, sure I do.”

“So then how can you expect me not to when grown women can’t even do it?”

I thought about that. She’d talked me into a wall, it seemed.

“Good point,” I conceded. “Okay, so it’s more about tamping our reactions so we don’t do something we’ll regret. What’s the first thing you want to do when you get angry?”

“Hit someone,” she said like it was obvious.

“And then you end up making things worse for yourself.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

“Try counting to ten next time. If that doesn’t work, then walk away. Go and scream in the bathroom. I do that sometimes.”

“Really?” She lifted her face.

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “It works. It’s okay to feel awful, but if we let emotions take us over, we’re only making life worse for ourselves.”

“Okay.” She fiddled with a strap on her backpack. “Have you ever felt this way? Like a guy betrayed you?”

“Too many times,” I sighed.

“With my dad?”

I looked her square in the eye. “No. Your dad is a good guy.”

“’Kay.” She nodded.

“Next time you’re feeling this way, come and talk to me. My door is always open. Even if it’s not during school hours.”

Her body visibly relaxed. “Thanks.”

“Again, since this was a physical incident, I’ll have to talk to Principal Stafford about it, and I’ll have to tell your dad.”

“I know.”

“Let’s get you to class.” Getting up, I tore a sheet of paper from the notebook on my desk and scrawled a note to her English teacher.

“Did my dad tell you about Thanksgiving?”

I turned around, not sure what she meant. “What’s happening?”

“We’re going to cook it ourselves this year,” she proudly explained. “And you’re invited.”

I couldn’t stop my smile. “No, he didn’t tell me about this.”

“We just decided last night.”

“Oh. Very nice.”

“So can you come?”

“Um, I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to my parents about it.”

“It’ll be a lot of fun.”

Our spat in the bathroom at the fundraiser came back to me. Raven had been so pissed at me for not coming clean about my relationship with Andrew. I’d thought she might never want to talk to me again. Was the invitation to Thanksgiving her way of making amends?

“Actually,” I said, “I think my mom and dad will understand. Yeah, I can come.”

“Cool.” She smiled. “Do you like cranberry sauce? I wasn’t going to make it unless you like it.”

“Yeah, I love it.” I signed the note and handed it over to her.

“Cool.” Taking the note, she put her backpack on.

“Raven.”

Hand on the doorknob, she turned around.

“Remember, you can come and talk to me. I know you like Jason, but guys can be real idiots sometimes. It’s up to you to be the better person.”

“Okay.”

“And thanks for the invitation to Thanksgiving.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever.”

She left before I could get another word out. Leaning back against my desk, I smiled to myself. Had it been Raven or Andrew’s idea to invite me to Thanksgiving?

Come to think of it, it didn’t really matter. With each day that went by, they both meant more to me. I hadn’t expected an invitation to spend a day typically meant for families with them.

With the holiday looming, though, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I wanted to be.