***
I got back home around ten and stripped before getting into the shower. My phone rang about the time I moved under the warm spray and let out a long groan.
"Really?" I opened the curtain and reached out for the phone. Erica. Well worth the trouble. "Hey. You're not canceling tonight, so don't even try."
"No. I was just worried. Mitch told me he almost ran you over this morning." The tension in her voice caused my heart to swell. She was hurt and angry, but no way was she over me. Not even close. I just had to play my cards right and she would be mine.
"It's no big deal. I wasn't paying attention. Too much on my mind." I ran my hand through my partially wet hair and wished like hell that she was in the shower with me. We'd get clean just to get dirty again.
"What's that in the background? Is it raining where you are?"
I chuckled. "Yeah. I'm in the shower."
"Oh." The pause between us was comfortable, though I hoped that she was envisioning being in here with me.
"I'll be up there in a little while. I'm not going to be able to mope around this apartment all day. Get off early and let’s go see the city together."
"I have a million things to do today. Let's meet up at seven or eight tonight."
"No way. Delegate. I'm coming up around one or two."
"Matt. That's in two to three hours. There's no way I can-"
"Make it happen. I want to see you. I don't deserve to, but I'm not taking no for an answer. All right?" I felt something swell inside of me that wanted to force her to behave. The good old Bryant aggression.
"Yeah. I'll be ready," she whispered roughly as if someone had sucked the air from the room around her.
"Good. See you in a bit." I hung up and moved back under the showerhead, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth of the water. My body ached for me to take care of myself, but the hope that I'd have her trapped beneath me by the end of the night forced me to deny myself. I wanted every ounce of pent up lust and energy to go into her.
I finished up and got out, changed clothes and made a pot of coffee before sitting down and starting to work on my sketch. My phone buzzed, and I picked it up, hoping it was Erica again. Damon.
"What's up, bro?" I answered and tilted my head to press the phone to my shoulder so I could continue to work on my sketch. I'd have it done by the time I headed up to the office. After that, it just needed to be blown up and transferred to the large canvas for painting.
"I heard you almost got hit while jogging this morning." He sounded exasperated.
"This Mitch guy sure is a talkative little bitch." I snorted and brushed my thumb down the front of Erica's chest, smearing the charcoal a little.
"Are you all right, and what the hell do you have against Mitch? Have you even met him?"
"Yeah. I'm fine, and I met the old coot on Wednesday when I went up to the office to tell Erica I was in town. He brought her a large vase thing full of flowers. Seems like he's got his eye on a much younger woman. Mine."
"Oh shit. Seriously?" Damon chuckled.
"It's not funny. He's the kind of man she deserves." I sat back and held in a sigh.
"How do you know the type of man she deserves? You're being a presumptuous cock, by the way."
"Thanks. That's almost a compliment coming from you." I got up and wiped my hands down the front of my shirt.
"Fix this shit with Erica or I'm going to fix it for you. There's only room for one asshole in the family, and I'm the older brother. I get first dibs."
I smiled. "This is true. I'm working on it. It's not as easy as you think."
"Oh, I'm well aware. You and Kendal have been all over me to fix my problems with Beth, but it's a little more complicated than a 'sorry’, right?"
Kendal was Damon's best friend from college, and just happened to be the accounting professor that Bethany was working for. It was a hot, complicated mess.
"Yeah, it's much more complex than that." I got up and glanced at the clock. "Wish me luck. I'm headed up to the office to get her. She agreed to fish tacos and a trip to the art store."
He groaned. "You guys are so damn weird."
"Or maybe we're normal and you're weird."
"Whatever. Good luck. Keep me in the loop."
"Not a chance." I hung up and slipped the phone into my back pocket before putting on a pair of tennis shoes, grabbing my wallet and keys and heading out.
Seattle was beautiful, the utopia I needed it to be. It wouldn't take too long before I'd close down the lease on my place in Dallas and move to the Northwest for good. It was far too complementary to my personality to deny it.
I got in the Audi and drove toward downtown as a million thoughts moved across my mind. Maybe half the struggle with Erica was more like a struggle with myself. I wanted to be loving and fun, but the minute the bedroom door closed, I could feel this aggressive beast rise up inside of me. It was so far away from how I saw myself that I struggled with it all the damn time.
If I could figure out a way to accept that I was complex... not one dimensional, then maybe things would work out. Maybe.
I pulled up to the side of the building and lifted my hips to get my phone out, but paused. Erica jogged toward the car as the wind blew hard. How long had she been standing by the door, waiting for me? It warmed my heart and re-instilled the hope in my chest.
She hadn't given up... not yet. Her blond hair whipped around and she let out a soft yelp as she got in the car, slammed the door and turned to face me.
"Jeez. The wind is crazy.” Her blue eyes were filled with more questions than I could begin to answer.
I reached over and gripped the side of her face, pulling her close and kissing her softly several times. Some part of me expected her to pull back, but she didn't. I enjoyed a few more kisses, licking at her lips to taste as I growled low in my chest.
"I don't like Mitch bringing you flowers." I kissed her again and moved back to my seat.
"Then tell him that." She buckled up and pressed her hand to her chest. "And keep your lips to yourself until I decide if I'm over you."
"You're not." I pulled out into traffic. "But I'll let you come to that conclusion yourself."
She snorted, the sound too damn cute. "You almost get hit by a car and now you're going to be ballsy?"
"I should have been ballsy from the beginning." I licked my lips, wanting to taste her again. "It's the struggle inside of me that I'm fighting, Erica. It's got little to do with you or us."
"There isn't an ‘us’, Matt. You left without a word and I'm not sure I'm willing to let that happen again. How many more times will you leave because of your internal struggle?"
"You need to go change at your place?" I reached over and took her hand into mine, not willing to back off for even a second.
"Yeah." She let out a soft sigh and glanced toward the window beside her, as if giving up on fighting me.
"I'm not leaving again, okay? Let's just have fun today and you accept my apology. I woke up to a note from you that sounded like something you'd leave the pool boy who works for you." I shrugged as she turned her gaze back toward me. "You deserve better than me. Far better. I'm just trying to work through that."
"Are you interested in me? In us?" The neediness in her voice scored me.
"Yes, baby. Very." I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed her several times. "I'm sorry for my fear, for my ignorance. Let's rebuild our friendship and push when we're ready to push, okay?"
"Okay," she whispered and reached up to brush tears off her cheeks.
She was crying? Shit. My need to run flared up, but I swallowed it back down and continued to kiss her hand until we pulled up to her apartment.
"I'll be right back." She reached for the door, pulling her hand from mine.
"Want me to come with you?" I released her.
"No. Just wait here." She got out and I watched her until I could no longer see her. My cock was rock hard, my heart racing, my palms sweaty, but the dominant part of my spirit was in complete control.
I wasn't giving up on 'us' anytime soon, if ever.