Chapter 36

Andrew

 

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I surreptitiously peeked under my desk to get a look at it. As I always hoped, it was Lanie calling.

Loudly clearing my throat, I looked back up at the four employees seated across from me. “We’ll deal with this account tomorrow. You can go back to your desks now.”

They all exchanged confused looks.

“Right. Back to work,” I reiterated, adding a smile to show them I was still working on being nicer.

Still looking dazed, they collected their papers and left. The second the door closed behind the last one of them, I dialed Lanie.

“Hi,” she answered.

“Please tell me this is a midday phone sex call.”

She laughed. “I wish. You do know I’m at work, right?”

“So am I.” I put my feet up on my desk, getting more comfortable in my chair. Not until Lanie did I really learn the meaning of relaxing.

“Unfortunately,” she slowly said, “This isn’t a personal call.”

“Uh-oh.” Without my thinking about it, my feet were back on the floor. I leaned forward in my seat, clutching the phone hard. “Is Raven okay?”

“She’s fine. There was an incident at school about an hour ago. She slapped a boy.”

“A boy?” My stomach recoiled.

“It’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath.”

“Which boy?”

“Some kid named Jason. Do you know him?”

“No, and she’s never mentioned him before.” My heart unexpectedly raced. Raven and I had talked about boys before—about the basics of safety and respect for self and others—but she’d never given a hint that she had anything to do with the other sex. Far as I knew, all her friends were girls.

“Why wouldn’t she have mentioned him?” I asked, half to myself.

“You’re her dad, Andrew.”

“Right.” I ground my teeth together, hating that I cared about her more than anyone else in the whole damn world, and yet I was still often the last to know things about her life. “Why didn’t she just tell me? I knew something was up. She’s been acting weird again. God. She could have ...” I ran out of gas, the words no longer coming.

“Don’t blame her, Andrew.”

I painfully inhaled. “All right. You’re right. I won’t.”

“If anything, it might be our fault.”

I struggled to get my head around that. “What do you mean?”

“Raven was really upset that night at the fundraiser. She didn’t like that I wasn’t being honest with my parents. I told her the situation was complicated, but, well, I’m saying we might be sending her mixed messages.”

“Okay,” I said slowly.

“Do you agree?”

I sighed and ran my palm over my face. “Yeah, I do. I can see how it looks.”

“She mentioned you a little bit today, but I let her know the school’s not the best place to talk about private relationships.”

“What did she say?”

“She wanted to know if you ever get under my skin.”

“No,” I said sarcastically. “Never.”

Lanie’s beautiful laugh calmed my nerves.

“It’s my fault,” I said. “I must still not be paying her enough attention.”

“No, Andrew. Don’t say that. You’ve been spending a lot more time with her.”

“Yeah, but obviously, it’s not enough.” I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I have over ten years to make up for, Lanie. That’s most of her childhood. I’ve been a shitty parent since the day her mom died.”

My chest burned as I thought about all the recitals and school plays I could have made it to if I only decided to. All the nights I could have stayed in and had dinner with my daughter instead of hunkering down in my office closing another deal, making another dollar. I’d always told myself all the work was for Raven. With all the money we had, she could have and be whatever she wanted. Plus, I was teaching her the value of hard work.

Now I saw what a bunch of bullshit those excuses were. I had billions in the bank. Who the fuck needed that? And what was hard work compared to time spent with the only family you had?

No denying it, I was a god-awful parent.

“You’re blaming yourself again,” Lanie chastised.

“Yeah, I know. I’m meaning to.”

“Don’t,” she snapped with a surprising ferocity. “You’ve done the best you can in any situation. We all have.”

“Yeah, but—”

“You’re a single parent. You run a giant corporation, a job that I still don’t quite get, but that’s beside the point.”

I chuckled, about to answer, but Lanie kept going.

“You’ve done a lot for Raven. No one can do it all. No parent is going to be available all the time. There are only so many hours in the day. Stop beating yourself up. Okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ve never heard you get this bossy before.”

“Oh,” she said like she’d just realized what she’d done. “Sorry.”

“No, I like it. It’s kind of sexy.”

“Um, well.” Her suddenly fast breathing came across the line. “That’s, um. We’re at work, Andrew.”

“Yeah, I know,” I teased.

“You’re going to get me in trouble.” The way she said it, though, she didn’t sound at all upset. In fact, real excitement dripped from her words.

“I’ll stop,” I seriously said. “For now, I mean.”

“Good,” she lustily whispered.

Tension coiled in my boxers, and I had to adjust myself in my seat. Much as I wanted to leave work early, pick Lanie up from school, and take her to a hotel where I could bang the hell out of her, some fantasies would have to wait.

“Thank you for calling me,” I told her in a serious tone, hoping just talking that way would get rid of my hard-on.

“Of course. So, I—” A knock on the door interrupted her. “Oh, shoot. Hey, I have to go. I’m meeting with a parent, and they just arrived. Talk to you later.”

“Yes. Have a good afternoon.” I almost hung up, but then remembered about Thanksgiving. “Wait. Would you like—?”

There was only silence. Lanie had already hung up.

Ending the call myself, I checked the time. Raven would be out of school soon. The rest of the day’s work, I could take care of in my home office.

Getting what I needed for the rest of the day together, I left the building as quickly as I could. Raven had declined my offer to pick her up from school anytime that week, saying instead that she wanted to ride the bus.

At the house, the whir of the vacuum cleaner greeted me. Leaving Karen to her cleaning, I went right to my office in the back. With my computer powered on, I kept the screen showing the front security cam open as I responded to emails. That way, I’d known Raven was home the minute the school bus dropped her off.

Before long, movement in the corner of the screen caught my eye. Jumping up, I raced down the hall and to the front door, opening it as she stepped onto the porch.

Raven’s eyes went wide at the sight of me.

“Welcome home,” I said.

The round eyes narrowed. “Right.”

“What?”

She pushed past me, her backpack knocking against my chest. “You talked to the school already, huh? Who called, the office or Lanie?”

I folded my arms, following her. “I’m not mad, Raven.”

She halted in the hallway, slowly swiveling on her heel to face me. “You’re not?”

“No. I just want to hear about what happened. It sounds like someone really upset you.”

“That can’t be all.”

“Okay,” I nodded. “It’s not. I have some tips I can give you for the next time you feel like you want to slap someone.”

“Lanie already talked to me about that.” She turned back around, hustling for the kitchen.

The vacuum cleaner had stopped, and Karen stood in the middle of the living room coiling the cord. “Afternoon,” she sang out. “There’s fresh pumpkin bread in the kitchen.”

“Hi, Karen,” I waved, barely looking at her as I hurried after Raven.

In the kitchen, Raven dropped her backpack in a chair and peered at the pumpkin bread on the counter. “Why is it pumpkin everything in the fall?”

I stopped in the doorway. “Let’s talk about this.”

“Okay,” she huffed. “Fine.”

“If you were having troubles with someone, you could have told me.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “No, I couldn’t. Don’t you get how weird that is?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “But I don’t want you to suffer through things on your own.”

“I’m not. I already talked with Lanie.” She leaned against the counter and played with the strings of her jacket.

Competing emotions filled me. On one hand, I wanted Raven to come to me for anything she needed. On the other, I was glad she had Lanie as a resource.

And wasn’t a strong female figure the thing she’d been missing?

“Okay,” I said. “I’m glad you did. So, this guy?”

Raven groaned. “He’s just some kid who is a compulsive liar. He said he wanted to go out with me, and then he made out with another girl.”

“That little prick,” I spat without thinking.

Raven’s eyebrows shot up. “Dad!” she laughed.

“You’re too good for him, Raven.”

“Right, well it’s not like my school is crawling with mature guys.”

“Wait until college. You’ll find more people there.”

“You’re the one who told me I should be dating.”

I took a seat at the table. “That was before I heard about some guy being a douche to you.”

“Dad. Wow. You’re cussing a lot.”

“Sorry, not sorry.”

Raven laughed again, life coming back into her eyes.

“By the way, about the slapping ...”

“I won’t do it again. I mean, I’ll try.” She looked down at the floor. “I don’t want to lose my temper. It just happens sometimes.”

“I know,” I whispered. “But if you’re working on it—”

“I am.” She earnestly looked back at me.

“Okay. Good. Speaking of that, if you ever need a guy beaten up for breaking your heart, you should come to your dad.”

“Oh my god.” She laughed.

“I’m serious. You think I’m kidding.”

“You can’t just beat up a high school kid and get away with it.” She took a seat at the table across from me and started pulling out notebooks.

“With my kind of money, you can. A few million can make anything go away.”

“Dad.” She giggled. “That’s messed up. Stop.”

“Okay.” I grinned. “I’m all done.”

Raven took out a textbook and cracked it open while I checked my phone. Lanie still hadn’t responded to my text.

“I hope Lanie can come on Thursday,” I murmured.

“She is.”

I snapped my head up. Raven was bent over her notebook, pen in hand, hair falling around her face.

“How do you know?”

She spared me a brief glance. “We talked about it.”

“I didn’t invite her yet.”

“No, I did. And she said she’ll come.” Raven dropped her face, going back to her homework.

Too stunned to move, I just sat there. How long had Raven and Lanie spoken for that day? And what other things had they talked about?

They were forming a relationship without me, I realized. Though it was probably good, the turn of events still made me feel strange. Not jealous, just … shocked.

I eyed Raven, the scratching of her pen the only noise in the room. Is this how it would be should Lanie enter our lives in a more serious way?

I licked my lips, not willing to get my hopes too high. Yet it was hard. For the time being, everything was good. Raven was trying to do better, and so was I. Where we failed, Lanie propped us up. The situation felt incredibly right.

Me. Raven. Lanie.

What would it be like for the three of us to be together—truly together? In the same home? Every day?

I couldn’t say, but I had to find out.