***
"Matt. Good to see you again." Joan extended her hand as I walked toward her.
"Pleasure is all mine." I shook her hand and nodded to Erica's office. "Is she around?"
"She's in a meeting, but have a seat in her office and I'll let her know that you're here." She smiled. "Would you like a coffee or water?"
"No thanks. I'll grab something myself if I get thirsty."
"Of course. This is your father's firm."
"Yep." I walked toward Erica's office, and breathed in deeply when I walked in, catching traces of her perfume. Every cell in my body woke up. I breathed in again as if I were out of breath. Dropping down in the chair in front of her desk, I imagined her sitting in front of me, her dark blond hair in a loose bun, her lips cherry red.
What the fuck was I doing? Why did the boy in me show up when commitment was at stake? I forced myself to stand my ground with her when she came in.
I was sorry.
I was beyond interested.
I was in love. Period.
"Yeah, thanks, Joan. I'll just leave them in-"
I turned as an old guy walked in with a bouquet of white roses and stopped at the door.
"I'm so sorry," he started, "I'll come back in a little while."
"No." I stood and walked toward him. "I'm Matthew, and you are?"
"Kent's son. Of course." A warm smile lifted the guy’s face. Why was he bringing Erica flowers? Old friend? Her brother? He extended his hand. "I'm Mitch Roberson. The new Director of Advisory Services."
"Oh. Yes." I shook his hand a little harder than was necessary. Why was the old bastard bringing Erica a gift? "Nice to meet you. My father's told me so much about you."
"You're going to be joining us soon from what Erica tells me."
"Yes. My father finally pushed enough." I forced a smile and crossed my arms over my chest. "Those are nice. For Erica?"
"Oh, yeah." He moved around me and put the flowers on her desk. "She had a shitty start to her week, so I thought maybe I'd brighten it a little."
"Nice." Why in the world had I thought that time would stand still, that fate would keep her tucked away for when I was ready? It was a cosmic joke, and it was on me.
"Well, nice to meet you, Matt. I'll see you Monday for sure." He nodded and walked out, leaving me feeling far more inadequate than I should have. He was twice her age - at least. There was no way in hell she was interested.
The sound of her laughter filled my ears. I got up and walked to the door, pausing in the entrance to hear her and Mitch talking. He was funny. Smart. Rich. Handsome. And she was enjoying his company.
I turned and jogged to my seat, dropping down and working hard to keep my stomach from turning. Everything that happened from the moment I left her place last Monday to now was deserved. However bad it got, whatever I lost... I deserved every ounce of it for running.
"Matt. I hope I didn't keep you waiting." She walked around me, giving me a split second to check her out from behind. Her black dress was business professional, but left miles of shapely leg on display.
"Not at all. I just got here." I turned my attention to her, taking her in and forcing myself to breathe. She'd only gotten more beautiful, or maybe that was because I was close to losing her. After having her chase me hard and fast for the last two years, I was at a loss for how to react with her possibly moving on.
Surely not.
"Great." She smiled and sat down. "Did you find an apartment? If not, I can get one of my staff to help you."
One of her staff?
"Yeah. It's all done." I leaned back in my chair and studied her. "You look amazing."
"You're being sweet. What do you want?" She pressed her arms to the table and leaned toward me a little.
You. I want you. Forever.
"Well, for starters, I could use your help."
"Sure. Whatever you need." She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs before fiddling with her hair. She was nervous. Good. At least I wasn't alone.
"Jonathan set up the private showing for two weeks from Friday and he wants the piece I'm working on of you to be the main display."
"Oh. Wow." Her eyes widened but she didn't look away. "Okay. So what do we need to do? You have plenty of pictures, right? There's no need for me to-"
She didn't want to get naked in front of me again. My spirit wilted deep inside of me, stealing some of the color out of my world, leaving me cold.
"No. No, of course not." I lifted my hand and forced a tight smile. How awkward we were. "I just wanted to see if you would help me get everything set up and maybe mix paints for me. It's a big project and I literally have nothing."
"I can probably do that." She tilted her head to the side and blinked a few times as if waking up. "Did you bring these?" She reached out and plucked a white rose from the vase beside her.
"No. Mitch did." Of course Mitch did.
"When did you need my help?" She ignored me.
"Tonight if you're free." I was pushing my luck. I'd yet to apologize. I was surprised she was even talking to me, but I wanted the timing to be right, and it wasn't, not yet at least.
"I can't." She ran her fingers through her hair and licked at her lips. "Friday might work."
"Okay, yeah. Friday would be great. I'll work to get the place set up with some furniture by then."
"Great." She stood and pressed her hands to the desk. "Anything else?"
"Um, no." I stood and my legs locked. "I'm starting on Monday, if that's okay."
"Yep. We'll have everything set up for you by then." She moved around me and walked to the door, reaching up and sliding her hand down the frame. Everything about her turned me on and broke my heart in tandem.
I walked toward her, realizing that I'd worn out my welcome and it hadn't been more than five minutes. "So we'll grab some fish tacos on Friday and then head to the art store. That okay?"
"Sounds like a plan." Not a date. A plan.
"I'd really like you to be at the private showing with me. Damon, Bethany and my father are coming as well." I stopped a few feet in front of her and forced myself not to close the gap between us. The welcome mat had been retracted.
"I'll check my calendar, but that would be fun. I love your family." She glanced down and I caught the first glimpse of sorrow.
"I need to apologize to you. I was-"
"No." She lifted her hand, cutting me off. "We had a good weekend together, and I want to leave it as that. If I bring Monday morning into the conversation, it hurts like a bitch. Leave it at Sunday night."
I didn't know what to say, so I nodded and moved past her into the hall as my heart broke in my chest. I was a fool to think there was room inside of her to forgive me.
She wasn't going to, and I didn't blame her.
The judge in my head had spoken.
I didn't deserve it or her.
Denied.