Alys

“God, I can’t wait to eat,” groaned Lili as she handed me the spliff. “Lewis has been working for days on this banquet.”

“I know,” I replied, holding in my hit. “I’ve eaten next to nothing this past week to fit in this dress and pig out on the food.”

“He was scandalized when Kenna said she just wanted it to be buffet-style. He was ready to go balls to the wall with all the fancy shit, but she just wanted easy food that was fantastic.”

“Yeah, but she let him have free rein with the wedding cake,” I pointed out, handing back the joint.

After the group photos had been taken, Lili and I had snuck off through the Plantation House’s backyard, hiding behind some bushes. Kenna and Phil were taking the bride and groom photos, and the guys were setting up the massive gazebo for a stage. I knew they were going to play, but so were Devil’s Advocate, and while dinner was going on, a quartet of string players would keep a classical stream of ambience that everyone could enjoy.

“True. It’s fucking gorgeous, too. He outdid himself with that.”

I hadn’t seen it, but I knew it was Lewis’s infamous pumpkin-spiced cake and that it was enormous.

“So, are you guys staying in New Orleans now?”

Lili’s black eyes glittered with happiness. “Yep. We’ve found a place that he loves, not far from here. It’s a fixer-upper, but it’s a huge property, and it’s got that old feel to it, like this place.”

Lili and Lewis had come back to La Place about two months ago to help Kenna plan the wedding. They’d been living with Connor and me in Kenna’s house, which had been a blessing really. Otherwise, I’d have been driven crazy with having to ignore the raging need to throw Connor down and fuck his brains out.

His confession earlier about wanting me had me sweating. I was done waiting. Today, I was going to tell X’s parents that, as much as I would always love X, I was ready to move on. I had mourned him, was still mourning him on some level, but Connor was my first love. In many ways, he’d been my only love.

“So, we’re just finalizing the details about the sale, and in a couple of weeks, we’ll be moving in. It’s livable, but we want to be hands-on with the renovations. That means…”

I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she handed me the joint again.

“What?”

“We’ll be out of your and Connor’s way.”

“You haven’t been in the way.”

“Bullshit. Are you ever going to give that poor kid the green light?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, man. I think today is as good as any. I just need to let X’s family know, you know?”

“What if they get all nasty and shit?”

“Then, that’s their problem.”

“You sure about that?”

I nodded, exhaling my hit. “Yeah. It’s been a long time coming.”

Lewis really had outdone himself. All of Phil’s favorite foods were lined up, buffet-style, on the trusty pavilion that graced just about every party this place had thrown since Our Boys came home a little over two years ago. There was seafood gumbo, roast pork, chicken madeira, French bread rolls, roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, shrimp cocktail, braised scallops, and steamed asparagus in white wine sauce. Just massive amounts of amazing food, all homemade by our resident celebrity chef.

Sometimes, I totally envied Lili her man. Brat.

She’d always put up such a stink when it came to doing…well, anything really. Cooking and manual labor were two things she was purposely terrible at. I wasn’t sure how it was fair she’d landed one of the best chefs in the world to spend her life with.

As I made my way through the buffet, Connor sidled up next to me. I could feel his energy, and it was full-on fucking sexual. Admitting I wanted him, too, had unleashed all that he’d been bottling up these last four months or so, and the deluge of it was making me weak-kneed.

“We’re seated next to each other,” he told me in an undertone.

His voice was nearly as deep as Phil’s. While Kenna would think it blasphemous, I preferred Connor’s voice—as I should, I supposed. Not for singing NOLA’s Own songs or anything. I guessed that was something love did to a person.

“I know,” I replied.

He leaned down, his mouth right next to my ear. “Stay with me tonight.”

I was going to have to walk my way to my seat with my knees attached if he kept this shit up. “Stop it,” I hissed.

“Answer me,” he replied.

With a huff, I looked up at him, trying my damnedest to scowl. His grin short-circuited my brain, and instead, I just stared at him.

Connor was beautiful. As in, drop-dead, I-couldn’t-think-for-shit-when-he-looked-at-me beautiful. His eyes were a deep bottle green that were just so striking, fringed with thick, dark lashes. His features were all very chiseled—square jaw and a mouth that revealed the most gorgeous of smiles but was capable of twisting with a cruelty that left no doubt in those who saw it that he had a very dark streak inside him.

I sniffed haughtily. “I’ll think about it.”

“If you won’t stay with me, I’ll have to come to you.”

“Knock it off!” I snapped.

With my plate full, I headed for the long table in the yard that held the bridal party, my brisk walk doing nothing for the situation between my legs.

Connor oozed sex on a constant basis. From the way he walked to the way he moved to the way he spoke, played music, and even fucking slept. It was all some sort of cosmic conspiracy against me; I just knew it. Even his long auburn curls were like something out of a freaky sex fantasy.

I knew what it felt like to pull them when the sex was just too fucking good. Thick and wild, it would tangle in my fingers and—

Holy shit! Just quit thinking about Connor and sex for two fucking minutes!

The man himself made that an impossibility as he dropped into the seat next to me. As I tried to ignore him, he plopped his hand on my upper thigh and squeezed with his long, ridiculously strong fingers, unleashing a heat wave that shot straight into the core of me.

Before I could blink, he removed it and started shoveling the food into his mouth, as if it hadn’t been made by the hands of an Asian-fusion chef god.

“Something to drink?”

I glanced up, feeling guilt warm my cheeks. Lewis had brought in his wait staff from The Duck Pond, and I was looking into the familiar face of the woman who had served us that time Lili had gotten us reservations.

“I’ll take a beer,” said Connor.

I nodded. “Same for me. And some water?”

“Make that two,” said Connor.

She smiled and took herself off. I was suddenly parched and hoped she’d hurry the hell up.

From across the dining setup, X’s mom caught my eye, smiled, and gave me a little wave. I returned the gesture, trying not to look like I was suspicious of anything other than what I was actually doing—having dinner next to the guy I had grown up with.

This is going to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever done, I thought.

Then, Connor shifted in his seat. I gazed down to see the crotch of his pants straining against the brown fabric of his suit, and I retracted that thought.

I’ve done much weirder, nastier shit than having to tell X’s mom I’m moving on.

I hadn’t gotten so close to X’s family. Certainly nothing compared to what sort of relationship I had with Connor and Kenna’s family. Hell, they were my family. Da and Gloria were just as much parents to me as my own.

With a slight pang through my heart, I thought of Laurie and Betty. The two women who had shaped my best friend into the woman she was today should have been here to witness Kenna marrying the one.

Before I could help it, my eyes watered.

I could really use that beer now.

“What’s wrong?” asked Connor.

The slight panic in his voice made me smile.

“I was just thinking of Mom and Grandma Betty. I wish they were here.”

Reaching out, Connor’s hand enclosed mine on top of the table, and I couldn’t deny myself this small comfort for decency’s sake.

“They are here, Alys.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do. I’ve been thinking about them a lot these last few days. I’m pretty sure Mom is laughing her ass off. Remember how Kenna used to blow off her predictions and shit?”

I laughed. “Yeah. Denial at its finest.”

“She’s not like that anymore. She finally embraces what Mom knew and the fact that she’s got it in her, too.”

“I think it used to scare her, you know? How it’s something that can’t be defined and can’t be measured and how exploring it doesn’t answer any questions.”

“That’s because it’s different for every person,” he stated. “What Mom saw, how she saw it, what it felt like for her—it’s not the same as when you or I or Kenna experience it.”

“You’ve always just accepted it, haven’t you?” I asked.

Connor shrugged. “I wouldn’t say always. But I haven’t ever denied that there’s shit beyond our comprehension. If anything, it’s the only thing that makes sense to me.”

“I guess the way you connect with music would do that to you. I think, if Kenna had the talent for music, it wouldn’t have been so hard for her.”

“Maybe. But look at Phil. That guy is nothing but music inside him. The way he thinks sounds like fucking music to him. If Kenna had that in her, she wouldn’t balance his ass out like she does. He told me once that the only thing that kept him grounded the years they were apart was that, one day, he knew he’d find her again. She’s his touchstone. I think he’s slightly insane because she wasn’t there with him while he grew up.”

I sharply looked at him, wondering if he was really telling me something else. Connor was an enigma, and the years of practicing yoga and meditation had given him not only the physical strength of a fucking fine-ass god, but also the mental strength to face any situation with the ability to rationalize. It was something Kenna had, too.

“What…but you’re nothing but music inside you, too.”

“But I had you, Sunshine.”

“What did I do?”

“You loved me. I wasn’t ever driven off the fucking deep end because, whenever I needed you, you were there.”

“Not recently,” I said softly.

“Yeah, but now, I’m a grown-ass man, Alys. I made my mistakes and had to own up to them.”

I snorted. “What’s Phil’s excuse then?”

“I think he’s done a shit-ton of growing up these last few months.”

I had to agree. “He’s certainly not the man who went into rehab.”

“No, he’s not. Plus, the high of finding Kenna and making her his finally wore off—”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that.” I laughed.

Phil and Kenna were standing next to the pavilion, talking to guests as they came in and out of the buffet. Phil had Kenna’s back pressed to his front—no doubt he was using his wife to hide a rager in his pants. His arms were wrapped around her as he had a look of sublime joy on his face.

Fuck yeah, he’s high on Kenna. I think he always will be.

Connor chuckled. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, the way I feel about you is no less than what Phil feels for his Baby Girl.”

Now, my eyes were tearing up for a whole other reason. “That’s…really?”

Looking into his green eyes, I was stunned with the truth of it.

“Don’t you feel it, too?” he asked.

My smile quivered with the effort it took to hold in my happy tears. “Yes.”

With everyone fat and sassy from the buffet, Phil and Kenna made their way onto the pavilion where Lewis’s staff had placed a monster of a wedding cake decorated with candy lotus blossoms and intricate sugar skulls.

We all stood around the happy couple as they cut the cake. Phil offered a chunk to Kenna with his teeth, foregoing the humor of smashing her face with icing. It was one hell of a sexy display. Kenna had to pinch him to keep it rated PG-13 because Phil was about to wrap his arms around her and turn cake-cutting into a full-blown make-out session. I’d had no idea cake-cutting could be an erotic endeavor, but leave it to Phil fucking Deveraux to prove it could be.

“I can’t even watch me own sweet lass get married wi’out her being molested,” Da grumbled under his breath.

Connor rolled his eyes at that point. “Da, she hasn’t been your sweet lass in a—”

“Hauld yer weesh,” snapped Da.

“Suit yourself,” said Connor.

“I will.”

Connor leaned down and whispered in my ear, “For an ex-polygamist, he’s a bit of a prude.”

I snorted while Da slapped Connor up the backside of his head.

“I was never a polygamist, you little shit. Yer mother is the only woman I ever married.”

Oh God. My nostrils were starting to flare.

While Phil and Kenna walked away with their slices of cake, with a hand on my lower back, Connor steered me toward the massive dessert. We joined the queue with servers taking over the slicing and distributing.

Connor’s hand gently squeezed my waist.

“Seriously, stop it!” I hissed.

“No one’s watching,” he replied.

“I don’t care. Not until after I talk to—”

“All right, untwist your panties, woman.”

My nostrils started quivering again. I couldn’t help it. I felt fucking giddy that we weren’t long from taking this thing between us and making it official. Not only that, but Connor was fucking hilarious. He had Da’s dry sense of humor that never failed to crack me up, and he abused that power with me every chance he got.

Foregoing any seating arrangements for dessert, people were moving their seats to sit where and with whom they pleased. Lili and Lewis moved theirs to sit in front of Connor and me while Da and Gloria went to chat up with Louis, Phil’s dad. Next to me sat Kenna, who was being force-fed her cake from Phil, who sat across from her.

Lili was the blessed one to sit next to Phil and mimed puking on her cake. After that, her black eyes zeroed in on how Connor was sitting a tad too close to me, for propriety’s sake, and she smirked evilly.

Little shit.

“So, I guess we’re playin’ later?” asked Phil, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his flat gut.

“Only if you want,” said Connor.

“Can I have another piece of cake?” I heard Sheri whisper to Jason.

“I don’t see why the hell not,” drawled Jason. He snatched up her plate and headed for the cake.

Sheri had turned into an absolute powerhouse of a human being. She had taken up kickboxing, and she would burn so much energy that she spent most of her free time eating. I’d heard from Connor that, a few weeks ago, she’d wrestled Jason over a couple of chicken wings at the studio and won.

It explained why Jason had recently started hitting the gym with Phil.

“Hmm…” Phil mused. “Maybe I could do a song or two.”

Next to me, Kenna smiled. That woman was always down to listening to her man sing.

“Do you mind?” he asked Kenna.

“No.”

“Sweet.”

Jason came back with a large piece of cake and set it before Sheri. She tackled it with gusto while Jason watched, impressed. He busted me watching, too, and he winked at me.

“Well, if I’m gonna go up and sing, I’m gonna need some weed to settle my stomach,” said Phil.

Kenna stood. “Thank God. Let’s get ripped.”

An hour or so later, Our Boys took the gazebo stage. I had for sure thought Phil would bust out with “An Ode to Zephyr” or something sappy, like “More Than Words” by Extreme. But, after a few seconds of discussing what to play, NOLA’s Own exploded with “Celebration Day.”

Connor perfectly sang the backing vocals, as I knew he would.

They had everyone dancing. Kenna grabbed my hands, and like a couple of dirty hippies, we swung around and danced barefoot.

“So, Mrs. Deveraux, where are you going for your honeymoon?” I laughed.

“I have no idea. I figured I’d let him pick a place.”

“Are Jason and Sheri really going to India?”

“Pfft. Like Jason could exist on a vegetarian diet. I’m afraid a good detox would kill him.”

“Yeah, probably.”

She twirled me, taking the lead since she was so much taller than me. Just like old times, it was just me and Kenna in this moment, the rest of the world not our problem.

“Are you happy, Alys?”

“I am,” I replied, my gaze drawn to the stage. “It’s time.”

Kenna’s already joyful expression magnified, and I had to blink around how bright she blazed with it.

“Good. Does Connor know?”

“What? You can’t tell?”

She laughed. “Yeah. He looks like a very happy fellow.”

“Celebration Day” ended, and Phil came and snatched my best friend away while the other guys went into the sultry sound of “Since I’ve Been Loving You.” Connor assumed front and center and started singing. Phil might have the voice of NOLA’s Own, but Connor was just as gifted, and he belted out the gritty lyrics, hitting Robert Plant’s high notes with ease.

Lili came up and slipped her arm around my waist, and we swayed to the music. Jason pulled into Jimmy Page’s guitar solo, and I closed my eyes, letting the music fill me. Flipper kept the heavy Jon Bonham beat on the drums, wonderfully forcing it into my blood.

Toward the end of the song, a gentle hand fell on my shoulder, and I turned to find Carol, X’s mom. Her eyes, the same sky blue as her son’s, looked into mine. A sweet smile was on her face, but my heart tripped.

“We’re going to head home now,” she told me. “Will you walk us out?”

This is it.

“Of course.”

Lili gave my waist a slight hug before slinking off to Lewis’s side. Connor’s eyes locked with mine, and I gave him a secret thumbs-up, letting him know what I was about to do.

I was about to start living again, and he was my life force.

“It was a lovely wedding,” Carol said.

We met up with her husband, Jimmy, and X’s sister, Erika, on the walkway around Phil and Kenna’s side of the Plantation House.

“It’s wonderful to see Phil so happy. It was hilarious when he found out it was his wedding and not Jason’s.”

“I wish I had seen it,” I replied. I’d been in the house, getting ready to walk down the aisle. “But…I really need to talk to you. All of you,” I said, feeling my blood pressure spike.

My hands began to shake, and I thought Carol noticed this because she took one and squeezed gently.

“Okay,” she replied.

“Um…this is so hard. I knew it would be, but…I don’t want any of you to think that X means any less to me. Bu-but I…I’ve decided to start seeing someone.”

“Connor?” asked Erika.

“Oh God, it was that obvious?”

“No. Just he’s the only one you really hung out with tonight,” she pointed out. “And he’s kind of beautiful. I don’t blame you.”

I looked to X’s parents. Jimmy smiled sadly but not in a discouraging way. Just that losing X would always be a part of them—a part of me, too.

“I’ll never stop loving X,” I promised. “But this hole in my heart needs to stop bleeding, and when I’m with Connor, it doesn’t hurt so bad. We were together before I met X. We…” What the hell do I tell them? “We grew apart while he was at school.” Technically not a lie, just not the complete truth. “And that’s when I met X, and…Connor and I just want to see if maybe there’s still something between us. But, before we do, I wanted to let you all know. I don’t want you to think that I’m dishonoring X’s memory or—”

Carol pulled me into her arms, giving me a good, hard embrace. “Go and find happiness, Alys. It’s what X would have wanted for you. You know that.”

“Thank you,” I sighed, relieved to my very soul that they weren’t upset.

Jimmy pulled me into a hug, and then Erika threw her arms around me.

“Good luck,” she whispered. “Because he’s hot.”

I laughed. “You don’t need to tell me. But I might need all the luck I can get.”

“Don’t forget us though. Okay?”

“Never,” I promised.

As I made my way back to the party, the music changed, smooth and mellow. When Connor spotted me, he looked over at Devon, giving him a chin lift. Devon went up to him, and Connor quickly whipped off the strap of his bass from his shoulder and handed it over to him. It took only a beat for Devon to join in, and I had to admit, I was impressed.

Is there anything these boys can’t play?

Devon’s presence in NOLA’s Own was a stroke of brilliance. Just last summer, he and Phil had been mortal enemies, due to the manipulative lead singer of Cornered Cannibal, Jürgen Wilhelmsen, and his bitch of a girlfriend, Camryn. Not only had Devon left the Cannibals after the Twisted Festivus tour, but he’d also run to Phil’s side when Phil went to rehab. We all loved Devon—and he was a sweet piece of eye candy, too.

Connor had a hard, determined look on his face. He was studying me, looking for signs of distress and finding none. A dazzling smile crossed his face, and he hurried his steps.

Unable to help myself, I ran at him, launching myself into his arms. He wasted no time, sweeping me up, and his mouth came crashing down on mine. It was as though the time from our last kiss and this one didn’t exist. He tasted of beer and pumpkin spice, all laced with the heady zest that was all Connor.

My favorite flavor.

My favorite fucking everything. From the feel of him to the scent of him to the familiar beat of his heart against my own.

Phil’s mega-voice boomed, “Fuck yes! You assholes owe me two grand each!”

Connor pulled back, his chest heaving, his eyes gazing down into my own. To my surprise, they shimmered with tears.

“It’s our time now, Sunshine.”