Chapter Eighteen
Molly
I was staring out at my spectacular view, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than what had happened between Tristan and me last night. It wasn’t last night that was bothering me, though. It was the fact that he had snuck out this morning without so much as a goodbye.
I turned around and walked back into the living room. I had wanted to go for a swim this morning, but I couldn’t seem to face the idea of planning anything at the moment. I went to my own personal walk-in closet and swapped out the slip nightie that I had put on for a pair of jeans and a simple long-sleeved t-shirt. I went back into the room and was hit with a torrent of memories from the night before.
For me, it had been a perfect first time. It had been everything to me, and my joy was now clouded over by Tristan’s disappearance this morning. Somehow, when we had been in the throes of lovemaking, I had convinced myself that he felt as strongly as I did. I had felt certain that he had simply been fighting this attraction for years, just like I had.
It had all made sense last night. It had all seemed simple.
In reality, I had no idea where Tristan stood. Was he going to address what had happened between us, or was he just going to pretend that nothing had happened?
I flashed back to six years ago. It had been the night after the kiss, and I had waited expectantly the next morning to see Tristan. But he hadn’t even acknowledged it. He had given me a cursory smile and then looked through me for the rest of the morning until he had left with Jason. I didn’t see him for six years after that.
I was determined not to let that happen again. I wanted to talk about it this time. I wanted to know where he stood, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear from him. I left my room, but realized when I was in the lobby that I had no idea where to go to find Tristan. I wasn’t even sure which suite was his. I changed direction and headed for the lounge where I knew Alani was on duty.
She was talking to a few guests, so I hung back until she had spotted me. When she was free, she walked over with a smile. “Hello, there,” she greeted. “Do you have something you need to tell me?”
I frowned. “Um… What?”
“Last night,” she said, wagging her eyebrows at me.
“I don’t—”
“Don’t act coy,” she said impatiently. “I saw Tristan follow you out of the party.”
“Oh,” I said. “That.”
Her face fell immediately. “Did nothing happen between you then? I was so sure that things were going well last night. Tristan looked mesmerized by you. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
“Apparently, sex does a good job of taking a man’s focus away from you after the fact,” I said bitterly.
Alani looked at me in surprise. “You slept together.”
“Twice,” I said. “But this morning I woke up, and he was gone.”
“Oh…”
“Do you know where he might be?” I asked. “I need to talk to him.”
Alani looked doubtful, but I wasn’t about to back down now. I wasn’t going to let Tristan ignore me like he had the first time. We were going to talk about what had happened, and I was going to get closure, one way or the other.
“Um… I know he has meetings all morning,” she said. “Things have been a little stressful. We’re opening to the public on Christmas day and apparently, a few of the staff have been let go.”
“What?” I said.
She nodded. “Two of my friends have already been fired.”
“Why?”
“They were hired on a temporary basis and were going to be taken on permanently only after their performance had been reviewed,” she explained. “Apparently, their skills with guest interaction was poor, and they were let go for that reason.”
“Shouldn’t they have been trained first?”
“Everyone went through a brief course before they were put on duty,” Alani said. “But in some cases, a little more training is necessary.”
“Isn’t there someone here who’s in charge of the staff?”
“Tristan was supposed to hire someone weeks ago,” she nodded. “But I don’t think he ever got around to it. He’s handling everything…he and Ben. I think they’re both spread a little too thin.”
I sighed, remembering that Tristan had apparently earmarked me for the job. I wondered how he would feel about that offer now that we had slept together. All the more reason I needed to talk to him and figure out where we stood. The prospect of such a conversation would have terrified me six years ago, but now, I was older now and more capable of handling rejection.
“Tristan will be in his office, you said?”
“Not just yet,” Alani replied. “He might still be in meetings. But he should be in his office in another hour or so.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
I walked out of the lounge and headed to the elevators, retracing the path that I had taken on my first day at the resort with Alani. When I got to Tristan’s office, the door was locked, and no one was around. He was obviously still at his meetings, so I decided to sit outside the office and enjoy the view until he got there.
Exactly forty-one minutes later, I heard footsteps in the hall, and then Tristan turned the corner, with Ben at his heels. Both men hesitated when they saw me sitting there. I stood up as they approached.
“Good morning, Ms. Sinclair,” Ben said.
“It’s Molly,” I reminded him.
“Right,” he nodded. “Of course.”
“Ben, would you mind if I had a few moments to talk to Tristan alone?” I asked boldly. “There’s something I need to talk to him about.”
“Of course,” he nodded.
He turned and walked back the same way he had come, leaving Tristan and me alone. Tristan’s expression was calm and contained, but I sensed nervousness in his stance as he unlocked his office door and held it open for me. I walked inside and waited till the door had been closed behind us.
“You left this morning,” I said, cutting to the chase.
Tristan sighed. He walked around to this desk and sat down. “Can I get you something to drink?” he asked formally.
“No, thank you,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Why don’t you sit down?”
I remained on my feet. “Are you going to address what happened, or are you going to talk around it indefinitely?”
“Molly, what happened last night… It was a mistake.”
All the hopes that had been resurrected last night pummeled to their death, and I found myself grappling to stay calm. “You really believe that?”
“It should never have happened,” he continued. “It would never have happened had I not been so fucking drunk.”
“You weren’t that drunk,” I pointed out.
“I’ve been stressed out with the opening looming,” he continued like I hadn’t said anything. “There are tons of problems that have cropped up at the last second. I was drinking a lot last night, and I was just…looking for a release. I would have slept with anyone last night.”
I cringed away from his words. “So it was just about sex for you then?” I asked, keeping my tone flat. “You don’t have feelings for me?”
He looked away from me awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” I snapped. “Don’t do that. I don’t want your apologies. I want your honesty. Do you remember that kiss between us six years ago?”
“No,” Tristan replied without missing a beat.
He answered quickly, but I saw something flicker in his eyes. It looked like recognition, and it sounded like a lie. “You’re lying,” I said accusingly. “I don’t why you’re lying, but I know you are.”
“Molly—”
“What was all that jealousy about if you didn’t care about me at all?” I demanded, talking over him. “Why did you care that I was on a date with Gregory? You had no right to come up to us and interrupt our dinner, but you did because something about seeing me with him upset you. What was that, Tristan? Explain that to me.”
“Gregory’s not the right guy for you.”
“Who are you to make that judgment?” I demanded as my voice rose dangerously. “I don’t know why I keep having to repeat myself with you. I am not a child, Tristan. I’m not the fourteen-year-old girl you met ten years ago. You have no right to decide who is best for me. You’re not my brother, you’re not my boyfriend, and apparently, you’re not even my friend. You’re nothing to me—and you’ve made that very clear.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said quietly.
“And yet, here we are,” I said, unable to compose myself. “You want to know what I think? I think you’re a weak and spineless coward. You do have feelings for me, no matter what you say; I felt it last night, and I know I’m right. You’re just too afraid to admit it. You’re scared about something, and you’ve convinced yourself that staying away from me is the safest option for you. But all you’re doing is lying to yourself.”
Tristan just sat there, taking my rant with his eyes hooded and his head tilted away from me. He looked lost, and I wasn’t sure if my words were hitting him or if he simply wanted to get me out of his office. I stared at him for a long time, waiting for him to say something—anything really, but he just kept silent.
It dawned on me that perhaps I had been the one lying to myself this whole time. Maybe I had created a character around Tristan and built a man in my head that didn’t really exist. Maybe I had spent the last ten years of my life chasing a daydream that never really existed in the first place. I pushed back my hurt and anger and forced my voice into a tone of calm.
“Thank you for allowing me to stay at your resort,” I said without meeting his eye. “But I think I’ve overstayed my welcome. I’ll pack my bags and be out of here soon.”
“Molly,” Tristan said, standing up. “That’s not—”
“You don’t have to worry about Jason or your friendship with him,” I said, cutting him off. “I don’t intend to tell him any of this.”
With that, I turned and walked out of Tristan’s office, wondering if it would be another six years before I saw him again.