Chapter Thirteen
Roman
At least it's nice out, I thought, opening the basket and sliding the uneaten food into it. I was hungry, but stopped myself. What if she showed up? Yeah, it was already two in the afternoon but what if the minute I packed up and left, she showed up and found nobody here?
Watch it, Roman, you're starting to sound desperate.
I had waited about the same amount of time each day. Two hours felt like plenty of time to let her get from wherever she was to here. I knew where she lived, it wasn't that much of a trip.
Being bitter about it was easy. I was the one who had left, but she had been the one who had been left. I didn't like to use the word dumped, but yeah, I had dumped her and then disappeared for a year. She needed time. She deserved time. I couldn't fault her for not being ready. I hadn't given her a reason to ever think I was even coming back, let alone wanted to be with her again.
The only reason you're like this is your fault, I thought. You want that girl back now, you gotta wait for her. You did shit on your terms without asking her before and now she's in the driver’s seat, all you can do is be ready when she is.
I was ready. More than that. Every day that passed was another I wasn't spending with her. How much fucking better was everything when we had been together? How much more fun was everything, how much happier was I? Her, too.
I wanted that back, and I was getting it. She needed to know that, but I wasn't doing anything hanging out here when it was clear at least for today that she wasn't going to show. There was tomorrow, and the day after that, too. As many days after those that it would end up taking.
I got up and shook the blanket out, folding it up so it could fit in the basket with the food. I also pulled one of the sandwiches I had bought for us out and ate it. Sundried tomato, Swiss cheese, and pickle; it sounded gross, but was actually great. Ron's favorite, she'd always get them at the deli I had passed coming here. I had gotten it because she liked them, though; it wasn't fun eating her favorite foods without her. It just made me think about her and how we weren't together.
My phone rang in my pocket as I backed out of my parking spot, getting ready to leave the park. I pulled it out hoping it was Ron, but knowing better than to think I'd get that lucky. I wasn't even sure she still had the same number. I'd probably ask Tiff for it, she'd give it to me. Don was calling me. I picked up, putting him on speaker so I could keep driving.
"Rome?"
"What's up?" I asked him.
"Where are you right now?"
"Headed home. Why?"
"Busy tonight?"
"Nope. You got something in mind?" I asked, grateful to hear from him. Company didn't sound too bad to me right now, especially after being blown off by Ron again.
"Drinks," he said, “just the two of us.” Sounded good; I could do with something stiff…several of them. I told him I'd be there.
"Awesome," he said. "Maybe we could even get you a date. I was serious about what I said last time we talked."
"Thanks," I said, not wasting my time telling him that I didn't want a girl who wasn't the 5'6, blonde Psych major who was ignoring me.
"Are you okay, man?" he asked.
"It's all good. Why?"
"Last time we talked, you sounded like you've got a lot on your mind. Playing ball, your ex," he said. We weren't exes, it was just complicated right now. There wasn't a name for what we were at the moment, but exes definitely wasn’t it.
"Bump in the road. No big deal. I'll see you tonight," I said. He hung up a little reluctantly. He was a good friend. We could talk about it, but I didn't know how to say it in a way that made sense to him. Women weren't people to be kept around, in his mind. He had them on rotation, changing them over as often as possible and never keeping one around long enough to get to know who she was.
He could do whatever he wanted with his life, I wasn't judging. I just couldn't say I saw eye-to-eye with him on that. He wasn't really wrong when he said there were other fish in the sea, I knew there were. But I wanted Ron. I didn't care about having anyone else.
Since we weren't getting together till later, I figured I'd go to the gym. I had been lifting since I was fifteen for football, but I had lost some mass since being deployed. I had always played at 230 lbs, but was down to 208 lbs. That extra muscle paid off. I wasn't saying no to blowing off some steam, either.
Don wasn't sitting up at the bar when I scanned it to find him later that night. It was a divey spot in town that a lot of students and young professionals liked for the affordable booze. I checked the booths. When I spotted Don, he was waving me over. Next to him with her hand draped over his arm was a smiling brunette.
I almost didn't want to walk up, but I couldn't just not go now that he had seen me. This was how he was, and I let him do his thing. I just wasn't looking forward to trying to talk around another person, especially one who wasn't going to be interested in what I wanted to say and was just going to distract Don, anyway. I walked over, slowly.
"About time you showed up," he said.
"Doesn't look like you even need me," I said. The girl giggled. She was cute, a lot of makeup and big tits bursting out of her top.
"Gina kept me company while I waited for your slow ass," he said. Gina smiled and said hi to me.
"You're the football player," she said. It might have just been me, but she sounded a little impressed.
"I used to be," I said, sliding into the booth across from them.
"Don said you're going pro," she reported. There was an empty martini glass on the table in front of her. I was hoping she wasn't thirsty, and that Don wouldn't offer her another one.
"That's the plan," I said vaguely.
"My friend Kayleigh loves football," she said. Football players. Her friend Kayleigh loved football players, I thought.
"How about your next round's on me," Don said to her. I watched him pull out two twenties and handed them to her. Wow, I thought. I had to give it to him, right or wrong, he took his womanizing seriously. He wasn't leaving here alone, that was for damn sure. She took the money, giggling. He leaned in to kiss her, long and deep – the kind of kiss that made you want to look away.
She slid out of the booth, saying she'd see him later. I watched her walk away and join two other girls at the bar. They all looked over, smiling, probably glad they were covered for their next round of fruity cocktails. I didn't know which one was Kayleigh and wasn't that interested in finding out.
"Cosmetology school. Used to do cheer," he said.
"Huh?"
"Gina," he clarified. "Just broke up with her boyfriend. Her friends brought her out thinking she needed a good time."
"And, you're going to give it to her," I said flatly.
"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't help out a woman in need?" he asked, smirking. When we were just getting to know each other, I had thought the cocky thing was an act he put on. It wasn't. He really did think he was God's gift to women. Because he did, they thought so, too.
"You're doing the Lord’s work, Don," I said wryly.
"So what's going on?" he asked. I paused as he asked a passing waitress for a couple beers and two shots.
"Nothing much."
"After Afghanistan? I'd be making up for lost time."
"That means something a little different when I'm doing it, Don," I said, laughing.
"How's it look with football?"
"Called my old coach. He said he and I could talk when summer session starts."
"That's good. That was what you wanted, right?"
"That depends on what he ends up telling me." I was confident in my skill, but I knew how much of getting into the league was politics and luck. I also knew that this wasn't my only option. It wasn't unheard of for guys to work their way up the minors, and if that was the way I'd have to do it, then I would. I took a long drink of the beer that appeared in front of me.
"You’ll get it. I have a good feeling," he said philosophically.
"Somehow, I think football's going to be the easy part."
"What's the hard part?" he asked. I looked at him pointedly. "Don't tell me it's her."
"Okay. I won't," I said, downing more beer. It was already half gone. I needed more. A lot more.
"What did you do?"
"I told her I wanted to talk to her, time and place to meet me and everything."
"And, she didn’t show?" he asked. I shook my head.
"You gotta tell me what it is, Rome. Her pussy better be gold plated or something."
"I love her, that's what it is."
"You sure she feels the same way?" he asked.
"I know she can, she just doesn't want to," I said.
"Then maybe you should stop fighting her on it," he said. I signaled for another beer.
"It's been a year, and I haven't stopped thinking about her."
"That's because you're not trying hard enough; you're still trying to go out with her. Stop talking to her and let time and distance do their thing. You'd be surprised how well you forget when you don't give yourself the responsibility to remember." I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not fucking someone else."
"Sometimes you don't have to. Good head gets you off the hook for almost anything," he told me. I laughed, shaking my head. There were a good number of beautiful girls at the bar. That girl Gina and her friends had been looking over every so often. One of them was a blonde, so that alone drew my eyes to her when she looked over here. Her look was wrong, but not bad. She seemed tall, built more athletic than Ron was.
"I'll leave that to you."
"I'm serious, man," he said. "Is she even still single? Did she wait for you this whole past year?"
"She's seeing someone, but it's not serious," I said, not knowing really whether I was right about that. He hadn't come up the last time we talked, but even if he had, I didn't want to give Don more ammo than he already thought he had.
"Then you're in the clear. You know what you don't lack, Rome? Options. I'm telling you, man. Take them."
Maybe he just hadn't met his Ron. When he did, he'd get it. On the other hand, maybe he never would and was okay with that. I didn't operate that way. It wasn't as simple as getting it wet with another girl. What I had done was throw away a relationship with the woman I loved because I was an idiot and thought I was doing the right thing by her. I was an idiot for thinking I'd be able to just move on, too.
I just didn't want the mistake to mean that I'd fucked up every last chance that we had together. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I didn't fight for this. It still sucked, though. She was pushing me away, and it felt like shit.
"You good?" Don asked as I started on my third beer.
"Great," I said sarcastically. He said he was going to get us some more shots and stood up, walking to the bar. I looked at my bottle wishing I hadn't driven here. Then I could really get wasted. Maybe even drunk enough to take Don's advice. He came back with a tray of shots and set it on the table. I counted them, then counted again because I was sure I was seeing double. I looked up and saw him herding two girls into our booth. The blonde and Gina from earlier.
He introduced me to the women, to the blonde in particular as she sat next to me. Packed into the booth it wasn't a tight squeeze, but I was immediately uncomfortable with having her there.
What had Don told her? I hoped he hadn't promised her anything. I had enough alcohol in me where I didn't know whether I'd say fuck it and take her home or send her on her way disappointed. He doled the shots out, making a toast. I sucked it down, feeling it burn. Yep, that was it for me, I was cutting myself off.
"So, you play football," the blonde said to me. She was Kayleigh.
"I used to." She told me that she liked that, putting her hand on my thigh. I thanked her and offered to get her a drink. She took that as encouragement, running her hand up my leg, closer and closer to my crotch. I tried to distract her asking about her friend, the third girl who hadn't come over with Don. Apparently, she was married and headed home early. Why was I jealous hearing that?
"Hey, Rome? You good?" Don asked.
"What?" I asked. The hand was gone, but she had moved closer and closer the whole conversation, pressed against me.
"Gina and I are gonna head out. You'll make sure Kayleigh gets home safe. Won't you?" he asked, winking. He was about to score and thought I was, too. That had been his plan from the start bringing the girls over.
"You have nothing to worry about," I said to Gina, not him. The girls said bye and as soon as Roman and Gina were out of sight, Kayleigh’s hand was back on my thigh.
"You wanna get out of here?" she asked. It wasn't fair to compare her to Ron; I was heavily, heavily biased. She was pretty. Her skin was tanned, even though I didn't know how she got that much color this early in the summer. Her eyes were hazel, rimmed with black makeup, and her lips glossy.
"Sorry about it, Kayleigh. Not tonight," I said.
"Why not?" she urged. "Don said you were single."
"I had a good time tonight, but I have to leave. I'll call you a cab," I offered. She pouted a little.
"You sure I can't change your mind?" she asked. I should have been attracted to her. I could appreciate that she looked good and was probably a nice girl,but then the block went up. I wasn't interested in seeing her again, not at my place, not at hers, not ever, really.
"Not tonight," I said apologetically. It wasn't her fault that I didn't want her, it was mine. I had tunnel vision for Veronica and felt bad that Don had led her to believe something more than just a couple drinks would come of this. I stayed with her till she finished her drink and got her a cab ride home before heading home myself.