Chapter Thirty-One
Tristan
I had just finished a Skype meeting with my senior manager at the LA resort when I heard a sharp knocking on my office door. Frowning, I checked the time. My next appointment was not for another hour, and Ben was not due back for another fifteen minutes at least.
“Come in,” I called.
A second later, the door to my office flew open, and Molly walked inside. Her face was pale and strained, and her eyes looked angry and slightly red. I stood up and walked to her immediately, worried about what had caused her to react that way
“Molly,” I said, reaching for her. “Are you alright?”
“Don’t,” she said, turning her hand up to block mine. “Don’t touch me.”
I froze in place as I felt a wave of confusion take over. Obviously, she was mad at me… I just didn’t know what I had done. She had given me no indication that there had been anything wrong in the last few days. Was it perhaps something that had happened just now?
“I… Molly,” I said slowly. “I don’t know why you’re so upset?”
She stared at me for a moment, as though she were trying to figure something out. Her hand was still up, preventing me from approaching her. There was something in her expression that made me both scared and sad at the same time. There was intensity in her eyes that made me take pause. Whatever she was feeling right now was serious. Whatever she had seen or heard had made a big impact. I noticed that her body was stiff, but her hands were shaking.
“Molly, can I get you a glass of water.”
She didn’t answer me. In fact, it felt like she hadn’t even heard me. I let the silence stretch out, hoping for some indication of what was going on. Finally, she turned away from me, as though she couldn’t bear to look at me any longer.
“Molly, please,” I said. “I’m worried… What’s going on?”
“How long?” she asked at last.
“What?”
“How long has this been going on?”
“What?” I demanded. “How long has what been going on?”
“The women, Tristan,” she said, and her voice shook on my name.
Her emotion broke my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to approach her. I was trying to understand what she was talking about. Had someone tried to break us up by telling Molly some ridiculous story about another woman? Or maybe it was Jennifer… had her presence here inspired the staff to spread rumors that had maybe reached Molly? What if she’d found out about Molly and me and was trying to get back at me? A hundred different possibilities rolled around in my head.
“Molly, I don’t get it… What women are you talking about?” I asked. “Who told you this? I would have thought you’d know better than to believe anyone else.”
Molly smiled, but it was an angry smile. “I believe my own eyes,” she said. “Can you argue with them?”
I frowned. “Can you please, please explain to me what happened? How am I supposed to defend myself if I don’t know what you do?”
Molly’s expression seemed to smooth out for a moment. “I wanted to surprise you today,” she said. “I heard you were going to be in your suite this evening and so I decided to head down there and surprise you.”
“I—”
Molly cut me off before I could say anything more. “I walked in hoping to find you, but what I found instead was a naked woman in your shower.”
I stared at Molly for a moment and then suddenly everything clicked into place: Emma. Molly had seen Emma in my shower. I was just about to open my mouth to give her the explanation when Molly spoke.
“Unless… Did you even know someone was in your suite?” she asked, and there was desperation in her tone. “Was it just some employee taking advantage of the amenities because they know you rarely use your suite? Is that it? Is this just a huge misunderstanding?”
All I had to say was a simple yes. And yet, I realized that I couldn’t do it. My tongue curled in on itself and suddenly it hit me. I saw the pain on Molly’s face. I saw what the possibility of my future mistakes could do to her. I had been battling with this very thing for the last few weeks. I had been terrified to let her down. I had been terrified to revert back to my old ways and leave Molly broken and devastated.
What was our future? I honestly didn’t know. Could I give Molly everything she deserved? Could I give her a life of domestic bliss? Could I give her the safety of a home and the promise of children? Could I give her fidelity and loyalty and attention? I wanted to do all those things with her, but I wasn’t sure if I could. I wasn’t sure if I had the propensity to go the distance.
If I said yes, then she would believe me wholeheartedly. She would throw herself into our relationship and would beg for my forgiveness for presuming that I was cheating on her. We would move on, and we would get further into this relationship. A few years would pass by, and things would start to change. What if I realized that commitment was not for me? What if I decided that I was happier without the pressure of having to consider someone else all the time?
They were selfish thoughts, and I knew that the fact that I was having them in the first place meant something. I needed to save Molly from myself, and in order to protect her later, I would have to hurt her now. It was a split-second decision, weighted by the bulk of my own insecurities, doubts, and fears, but I felt at the moment that it was the noble thing to do.
“No,” I said.
“No?” Molly repeated, and her eyes turned sad again. “There was no misunderstanding?”
“I should have told you about this sooner,” I said.
“About what sooner?” she demanded.
“The woman you saw in my suite… I’ve known her for a long time,” I said, choking out the words and trying to make them convincing. “And I care about her very much.”
Molly stared at me for a moment and then she turned her face away. A curtain of golden hair hid her expression from my view, and I was grateful for that.
“I trusted you,” she said softly, and her tone was like a knife to my gut.
“Molly—”
“I trusted you!!” she screamed, throwing the full fury of her eyes onto me. “And worse… I loved you!”
“Molly—”
“I thought you loved me, too,” she screamed. “I thought we had something special. It was a long wait for me, and I thought it was worth it. It was worth it to me…until…”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Her blue eyes flashed to mine, and I cringed against the emotion there. “How can you say that to me?” she demanded. “How can you look me in the eye and say that to me? You did this to hurt me—how could you not have. I should have known… It was only a matter of time. I was such a naïve fool to think that I could change you, to think that I could be enough to change you.
“This was the real reason you never told Jason, isn’t it?” Molly continued fiercely. “You knew it wouldn’t last between us. You knew I would find out sooner or later, and you wanted to keep Jason from ever knowing so that you could keep your friend after you were done with me?”
I looked down; it was hard for me to look her in the eye. “This is for the best, Molly.”
I saw her eyes go wide as though I had slapped her. “Did it mean anything to you?” she asked softly.
Tears were sliding down her face, and I felt my heart bleed at the sight. I so desperately wanted to reach out to her, touch her, pull her towards me, and beg her to forgive me—but I couldn’t.
“Of course it meant something to me,” I said. How could I lie to her about that? I couldn’t even if I had wanted to—she was too important to me, and I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else.
Molly scoffed in my face and turned from me towards the door. “Another lie,” she said. “If it had meant anything to you, then you would have at least had the decency to break up with me first…before you fucked another woman.”
“Molly—”
“I have to go back home,” she said.
I had expected as much, but it still hurt when she said the words. I pushed back my emotion and put on an expression of calm. “I’ll make arrangements to get you on the next flight out.”
I could see the sparkle of tears on Molly’s face as she shook her head at me. “I’ve spent ten years of my life loving you,” she said softly. “It was such a waste.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, it was the only thing I could say.
Her smile was heartbreakingly sad. “You know the really tragic part?” she asked. “Despite everything, I still love you. Even now… I still love you. I can’t just stop—but now I know I have to at least try. Goodbye, Tristan.”
With that, she turned and walked out of my office, but it felt as though she had just walked out of my life. I sat down heavily and reached for the bottle of bourbon I kept in the mini bar underneath my desk. I had just poured myself a glass when Ben walked in.
“What the fuck was that all about?” he demanded of me. “Molly’s leaving?”
“She just handed in her resignation,” I replied without emotion.
“What happened?”
“She saw a naked woman in my suite and assumed I was cheating on her,” I explained.
Ben frowned. “Naked woman… Are you talking about Emma?”
“Yes.”
“Emma was only in your suite because her room hadn’t been vacated yet,” Ben said, looking confused. “Molly knows Emma, surely?”
“She does,” I nodded. “But Molly never saw Emma’s face…”
“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell her?” he demanded.
“Because I realized something,” I said in a deadpan voice. “I’m not cut out for relationships; at some point, I’m going to hurt her. So…”
“You decided to make the decision for her—again.” Ben looked disgusted with me.
“I’m trying to protect her.”
“You’re an asshole,” he said, shaking his head at me. “Emma’s not going to like the fact that you used her to get rid of Molly.”
“Emma will understand,” I replied, not caring whether she did or not.
“Molly wants to leave first thing tomorrow morning,” Ben told me.
“Make the arrangements for her,” I said, knocking back my glass of bourbon. “Make sure she has a first-class seat back home.”
“And what are you going to do?” he demanded.
“I’m going to sit here and get drunk. Obviously.”
“You have meetings.”
“Cancel them,” I said firmly. “I’m taking a sick day.”
“And what about dinner?” he asked. “You were going to have dinner with Emma tonight.”
“Give her an excuse, any excuse,” I said uncaringly. “I’m not in the mood to make small talk with my sister tonight.”
Ben looked at me with a mixture of pity and disgust. “You just made a huge mistake; you know that, don’t you?”
“Ben, I mean this in the nicest possible way,” I said, pouring myself another glass. “Get out of my office and stay out of my business.”
“No problem,” he replied. “You’ll want to get used to being alone. And maybe you deserve to be.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I muttered darkly under my breath.