Chapter Thirty
Molly
“How are you?” I asked.
Alani was looking much happier since the incident with the Beaumonts had been dealt with, and her name had been cleared. She had reverted back to the old Alani that I was familiar with—cheerful, playful, and easy-going.
“I’m doing great,” she told me. “But for a second there, I was terrified.”
“I can imagine.”
“You don’t know how grateful I am to you,” she said, looking at me earnestly.
“Hey, you don’t have to thank me—”
“No, I do,” she insisted. “Any other superior in your position would have taken the guests’ side over mine. They wouldn’t have bothered to check tapes and speak to the boss on my behalf. They would have just assumed they understood the situation and acted accordingly.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, feeling slightly embarrassed by Alani’s obvious gratitude towards me.
“No, it’s true. I’ve worked in two other hotels before this one, and in both places, I watched how the superiors always yelled at the staff, whether it was their fault or not. If a guest makes a complaint, their word is taken as gospel, and no one cares about the other side of the story.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“We’re expendable, Molly,” Alani said. “But a guest must always be kept happy.”
“That’s not how I see it at all,” I said firmly. “We’re in the hospitality trade, and of course a guest must be kept happy…but within reason. If they do something wrong, they should be held accountable. Tristan feels that way, too.”
Alani smiled. “I heard what he did for Simon,” she said.
“He’s suspended without pay for three months and won’t be eligible for any raises during the course of this year while his behavior and performance is being evaluated,” I nodded. “But considering the story he told Tristan about his mother was true, Tristan paid for her operation himself.”
“That was a wonderful thing he did,” Alani said. “Did you have anything to do with his decision?”
“Not even a little bit,” I said, giving credit where credit was due. “That was all Tristan, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.”
“You’ve been a good influence on him.”
“Oh, I don’t think that decision has anything to do with me.”
“I think it does,” Alani said with certainty. “Tristan was a decent boss beforehand, but he was never very involved with the staff. Nor would he have handled the situation with the Beaumonts the way he did if you hadn’t been there.”
“You really believe that?”
“I honestly do,” she said. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed the difference.”
I thought about it for a second and then sighed. “To be honest, we don’t spend enough time together for me to notice much of anything.”
“He’s still very busy, isn’t he?”
“It’s been months now, and things don’t seem to be letting up.”
“He does have other hotels to see to,” she pointed out.
“I know,” I said. “And I don’t hold it against him for being busy all the time; it’s just sometimes…”
“What?” she pressed.
I sighed again. “I guess it feels like our relationship is stagnant. It’s like we’re living in this bubble that’s removed from the outside world. We work, and we come together at the end of the day, but sometimes it feels like sex is the one thing that bonds us.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Alani said, with a smile.
“It wouldn’t be,” I said. “But sometimes it’s the only thing we have. And that does bother me. Also, he hasn’t told my brother we’re dating yet.”
“Why haven’t you told your brother?” Alani wanted to know.
“Because Tristan asked me not to,” I admitted. “He told me that he needed to be the one to tell Jason. And, I understood that. They’ve been friends for years, and it seems right that Jason should hear about our relationship from Tristan. But it’s been awhile now, and he still hasn’t mentioned anything to my brother.”
“And that’s bothering you a little, too?”
“Well, it’s like he’s ashamed of us.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“No, I guess not,” I sighed. “But it does feel like he’s scared… Not of telling Jason specifically, but of announcing to the world that he’s in a committed relationship. Because that would make it real, and once it’s real, then we’re looking at the future and the next step, and I don’t know if Tristan is ready for all that.”
Alani listened carefully and nodded. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Of course,” I said, smiling slightly.
“Where do you see this going with Tristan?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I said.
“Okay then, where do you want this to go?” she asked, amending her question.
I bit my lip. “I love Tristan. I want to be with him. I think about the rest of my life, and he’s the only man I can picture myself with.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” I said, in a subdued voice.
“And, do you think he feels the same about you?”
“The thing is, there are moments when it feels like he loves me as much as I love him,” I said. “But then there are times when I notice the hesitation in his eyes. I see panic and fear and confusion, and it makes me question his feelings for me. I’ve grown up hearing about Tristan’s conquests. I know he’s not good at keeping a long-term girlfriend. And, I guess I’m wondering if I’m just naïve to believe that he would make that kind of change for me.”
“It’s possible.”
“But not probable,” I said.
“Sometimes it just takes the right person to change you,” Alani pointed out.
“See, that just sounds like a line from the movies,” I said. “Real life is more cynical than that.”
“Or maybe it’s just you that’s cynical.”
“Can you blame me?” I laughed. “I need to consider the possibility that Tristan is just not a one-woman kind of guy.”
“He’s trying to be,” she pointed out.
“And what if that’s a mistake?” I asked. “What if he’s trying to be something he’s not and that’s the real problem here. What if he’s only trying so hard because he got involved with his best friend’s sister?”
“What do you feel?” Alani asked. “What are your instincts telling you?”
“Can you really even trust your instincts when your emotion is so involved?” I asked. “I’m in love with him, and that is clouding everything else.”
“You’re questioning your whole relationship,” she pointed out. “Which means you’re not completely blind.”
“Just scared,” I said. “And worried.”
“Do you think that maybe you might be overthinking?” she suggested.
“Not in this case,” I said. “This is Tristan… I know him. I’ve watched him for ten years and paid attention to all the little things. He’s not as sold on this relationship as he claims to be.”
“Then you need to talk to him about it,” Alani said.
I smiled. “A simple suggestion,” I said. “And yet somehow, I find it the most complication option.”
“Are you scared of what he might say?”
“That’s an understatement,” I admitted.
“But wouldn’t you rather him be honest with you?”
“Of course,” I nodded. “Except that things are a little complicated now, what with the fact that I work for him.”
Alani’s eyes went wide for a moment. “If things don’t work out, would you continue to work here?”
I had been thinking the same thing over the last few days. The thought had popped into my head a few days ago and refused to budge until I had given it proper credence. I had suggested to Tristan that we make another visit to his private island for a little alone time. He had smiled and nodded and told me we would do exactly that when he had a day to spare, but that had been two weeks ago, and no trip had occurred.
I had been to the island only once, but I had formed a deep connection with the house and its picturesque surroundings. I longed to be alone with Tristan in that space again. It felt like we were cut off from everyone and everything…including my fears. I wished we could go back there, but I was trying to be considerate of Tristan’s workload.
“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “I keep going back and forth. Sometimes I think we’re both mature enough to work together even if we did split up. But then… I really think about it, and I know that I couldn’t do it.”
“Oh, Molly…”
“I’ve been in love with Tristan for ten years, Alani,” I said. “If my feelings for him haven’t faded in that time, then they’re not going to. How can I possibly continue to live here and work for him? I’d have to watch him move on with his life, date other women, build a life for himself separate from me… It would be torture.”
Alani’s eyes were sympathetic, but I could tell she didn’t like the idea of me leaving. “This is all very premature,” she said. “Who knows, you and Tristan could end up married one day.”
I smiled. “I don’t know if Tristan is the marrying type.”
“Convert him.”
I laughed. “Easier said than done.”
“I have an idea,” she said, clapping her hands together.
“What?”
“I think the main problem here is that you don’t get enough time with him, right?”
“Well, yeah,” I said uncertainly.
“You’re both busy, it’s perfectly understandable,” Alani continued. “So what you should do is make time.”
“Uh…”
“What I mean is be spontaneous,” she said. “Surprise him when he least expects it.”
“Um, I’m not sure I understand.”
“I heard Ben talking with Tristan this morning,” she told me. “Tristan mentioned that he would be heading to his suite this evening to check on something… I’m not sure what, I didn’t hear that part. Why don’t you head on over to his suite and surprise him? Even if it ends up being a quickie in the shower or a fifteen-minute conversation, it’s something. Given how fast-paced your lives are, that’s what you’ll need to do to keep connected.”
I considered that for a moment. “You know, that’s not a bad idea.”
She smiled. “Excellent.”
“Wait,” I said. “I don’t have a key to Tristan’s suite.”
“You don’t?”
“Well, he’s always in my suite,” I said, with a shrug.
“It’s not a problem,” Alani smiled. “I can give you the staff key.”
Alani and I headed over to the reception where she handed me the staff key to Tristan’s suite. I thanked her and headed up to his room to surprise him, feeling slightly more positive and very excited.
Alani was right—given how much we both worked, I needed to be pro-active about time with Tristan, as opposed to brooding about it. If I wanted things to work out between us, I needed to try as hard as I could.
I got to Tristan’s suite and opened the door softly. I tiptoed inside and looked around. We were rarely ever in his suite. It was slightly smaller, and my view was far better. Still, it was a large and beautiful room. I heard the shower running in the bathroom, and I headed over there. I pushed the door open slightly and peered in. The shower was running, and someone was inside, but one look told me that it wasn’t Tristan.
I could see a faint outline through the smoky curtain. I could see the perfect silhouette of a naked woman. I froze in shock as my body reacted to seeing a strange woman in Tristan’s shower. Her clothes were all over the bathroom floor, and I could hear her humming softly under her breath. Realizing that she hadn’t noticed my presence, I backed out carefully and shut the door.
I stood in Tristan’s bedroom for a minute, trying to process what I had just seen. Was it possible that Tristan had just been stringing me along this whole time? Had he been sleeping with other women the whole time he had been sleeping with me? I felt hurt and disappointed and betrayed.
But most importantly, I felt like a complete and total fool—a fool who had clung to a perfect daydream instead of facing cold hard reality.