Biker's Virgin (An MC Romance) by Claire Adams (11)

Chapter Twenty-One

Zack

 

One day… one day had passed since Mila and I had slept together. That was it. And I was already going crazy. I didn’t know how to behave around her anymore. I didn’t know what to say to her. I had no idea what to do next. Hadn’t we agreed that we had no future? Now all I seemed to be able to do was to think of all the ways that we could get around that somehow.

I was throwing darts in the living room, but my mind was somewhere completely different, and my usually perfect aim was all over the place. Bones and Devon walked in and sat down, observing my throwing with quizzical expressions.

“What the hell is up with you today?” Bones asked.

“What?” I shrugged.

“Look at that fucking dart board,” Bones said, by way of an answer.

I turned back to the board and realized that I hadn’t even managed to hit it three of the six times I’d thrown. The wall was punctured with little holes from the fallen darts that had made their way to the floor.

“My head’s not in it today.”

“That’s obvious,” Bones nodded. “My question is why?”

I decided to just keep quiet, and Bones didn’t push me. I did notice that Devon barely said two words the whole time, however, despite the fact that I could feel his eyes on me.

“Any new leads?” I said, abandoning the darts and sitting down across from Bones and Devon.

“None at all,” Bones sighed. “His trail has run cold.”

“Not that it was ever really hot to begin with,” Devon pointed out.

He looked slightly annoyed as he looked me over, but I decided just to ignore him. I suspected that he knew about Mila and me without really knowing; he was just too scared to ask the question.

“Where’s Mila?” Devon asked, almost as though he had heard her name in my head.

“I don’t know,” I said, answering a little too quickly. “I don’t keep track of where she goes as long as she’s in the house.”

“She seemed a little down this morning,” Devon said, as though he expected me to answer.

I avoided his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. “He’s bound to show up somewhere. He can’t stay underground for long.”

“We need to figure out a way to flush the fucker out,” Devon said. “This waiting game is not helping anyone.”

“How do you propose we flush him out?” I demanded. “Short of standing in the streets and yelling out his name.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m seriously asking; what do you suggest?” I asked challengingly. “Because if he’s being protected by Godwin, then we have to be smart about this. The Knights already know we’re searching for someone called Walter Black. Going after him means confronting the Knights head on.”

“Which you want to avoid?” Devon asked, with one raised eyebrow.

“Obviously,” I said.

Bones looked between us like he was trying to figure out what was going on. The tension was building slowly, and it was starting to become palpable.

“Really… because I thought the only reason you agreed to take Mila in, in the first place, was because you wanted to get revenge on the Knights.”

“I wanted to get revenge on Godwin,” I clarified, refusing to back down. “There’s a difference.”

“Small difference.”

“There are other ways to get your revenge,” I pointed out. “Apart from open war.”

“Is there?” Devon asked. “Like what?”

“Hitting a powerful member of the group.”

“You’re assuming Walter Black is powerful…”

“I know that the persona that he’s been cultivating is meant to represent power,” I said. “Maybe he himself is only a pawn, but you hit him, you send a message to the entire group.”

“What makes you think that Godwin won’t retaliate?”

“Oh, he definitely will… if he cares enough about his men and his reputation,” I said. “But he won’t retaliate with open battle.”

“How can you be sure?” Devon asked.

“Because I know the man,” I said. “I heard my father talk about him for years and years. Godwin doesn’t like taking heavy losses. He only engages in a fight when he knows he can win. The turf war was a shock to him. He was sure he would be the victor, and when he lost his son, his business, and half his men, it soured him. He’ll be more calculating this time. He’ll work in the shadows to achieve what he wants rather than risk another loss. Which is why he sent in this Walter Black in the first place. Why do you think I haven’t acted before now? It’s because that is exactly what Godwin wants me to do. I’ll be damned if I play into his hands.”

“Of course not because this whole fucking this is just about your ego and his, right?” Devon asked, and his tone was harsh and angry.

I knew the anger was misplaced, but I decided to be the bigger man for Mila’s sake. “I’m not going to deny that I have ulterior motives here,” I said. “But that’s not my only concern.”

“Oh no?” Devon asked. “And what is your other concern?”

I pursed my lips together and stayed silent. Devon was really starting to piss me off now, and I knew the only way I was going to prevent myself from knocking his lights out was to try and remain separate from the fight he was obviously angling for.

“You want to know what I think?” Devon asked when I didn’t say anything.

Bones sat up a little. “Come on, man,” he said, lowering his voice a little. “Shut this down; what’s the point in fighting amongst ourselves?”

Devon completely ignored him and continued, “I think that you want to prolong this wait. I think you don’t want to go looking for Walter Black because then this whole stakeout thing we’ve got going here would be over.”

“Why would I want to prolong it?” I demanded.

“Because you want to keep my sister here,” Devon said without missing a beat.

I felt my eyes bulge and the vein in my forehead pop with anger. I resisted the urge to ball my hands into fists. I had to resist the need to rise to his bait. I didn’t want to fight Devon because as much as I hated to admit it, Bones was right. Fighting amongst ourselves wouldn’t solve anything.

“That is—”

I was cut off by the sound of a door. A few seconds later, I heard Mila come down the stairs. After last night, we had gone into our separate rooms, and I’d spent the whole night trying to figure out what she was doing in her room. The guys had returned around four in the morning, and everyone had slept in. When I’d gone to the kitchen this morning, I noticed that Mila had come down for her breakfast, but I had probably just missed her.

This was the first time we were coming face to face since we’d slept together, and I had hoped no one else would be around.

“Hi,” she said as she stepped into the living room.

“Hi, Mila,” Bones nodded, jumping at the chance to defuse the tension between Devon and me. “How was your night?”

I could barely look at her, but a part of me really, really wanted to.

“It was fine,” she replied, after a short pause that seemed to speak volumes. “How was yours?”

“Amazing,” Bones replied. “We drove twenty miles and found this great little bar… great drinks, good music, and smoking hot women.”

I glanced at Mila, and I saw her smirk at the last part. She did look a little less animated than usual, however, and I wondered if she regretted losing her virginity to me the previous night. When I turned my face away from hers, I noticed that Devon’s eyes were trained on me.

“Hey, maybe you should join us the next time,” Bones suggested.

Mila smiled distractedly. “Seriously?”

“Why not?”

“It’s best not,” Devon said. “You’d be uncomfortable.”

“What makes you think that?” Mila asked. “I went on a ride with Zack, and I loved it.”

Devon shot me a glance. “He shouldn’t have taken you out at all,” he said. “It wasn’t safe.”

Mila opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she changed her mind about that. “Well, I think it’s my decision as to whether I go with the guys or not,” she said defiantly.

Bones smiled. “Don’t try and mollycoddle her, Devon,” he laughed. “She’s not the same scared little girl who walked into this house. Give her more credit.”

Mila gave Bones a warm smile. “I’ll join you guys the next time,” she said. “On one condition.”

“What is that?” Bones asked curiously.

“I want to ride a bike myself.”

Bones burst out laughing, and I looked at Mila in surprise. “You want to learn to ride?” I burst out before I could stop myself.

“Yes,” Mila nodded, glancing over at me. “I loved riding that night. But I was still sitting behind you the whole time. I want to be in control; I want to be able to sit at the head.”

I nodded once, and Mila smiled. “Well… I was just going to get into the training ring for a bit.”

“You training with anyone?” Bones asked.

“Red,” Mila replied. “He came in this morning, and I convinced him to go a few rounds with me.”

Bones laughed. “Sounds like something you’d want a front seat for,” he said. “I’ll join you. Devon, you coming?”

“No,” Devon replied decidedly. “I’ll stay here.”

Giving a small knowing sigh, Bones headed out with Mila. Before she left, she glanced back at me with an unreadable expression in her eyes. The moment they were gone, Devon turned to me.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” he asked without hesitation.

I stayed silent for a long time. “I don’t think that’s any of your business,” I said, knowing that answer was basically a confession.

“I told you to stay away from her,” Devon said, standing up.

“And I told you that I was going to do exactly what I wanted to do,” I replied, standing up too.

“She’s too good for you,” Devon spat, taking a step towards me. “She deserves better.”

It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. It hurt because I knew it was true, and a better man would have backed off and agreed and left Mila alone. But I could feel it already… I could feel the desire and the want already. I couldn’t just back off and let her go. I wanted to fuck her again. I wanted to talk to her again. I wanted to teach her how to ride a motorbike. I wanted to take her on another ride again. I wanted to do so many things with her that I could barely keep track of all of them.

“Maybe you should let her decide that,” I said.

“Sometimes Mila doesn’t always know what’s best for her,” Devon said. “She did pick Walter Black.”

My jaw clenched. “I’m warning you right now, Devon. Get out of my fucking way.”

“Or what?”

“Oh, I think you know.”

“She’s not used to men like you,” Devon said. “She’s… innocent and pure.”

“Innocent and pure?” I repeated, unable to stop myself. “After last night, that’s not the case anymore.”

Devon’s eyes widened with realization, and I saw unadulterated anger flit through his eyes. He lunged at me, and I ducked just in time to miss the hit he was aiming at my face. He recovered immediately and came at me again. This time, I grabbed his punching arm and head butted him right into a wall.

Devon was a strong fighter, but my father had trained me. I had been trained ruthlessly. There was no way he could win in a fight against me. I was still impressed that he was making an attempt, but that didn’t mean I was going to go easy on him. The testosterone was pumping now, and logic and sense had taken a back seat.

Devon made one more attempt to come at me, and this time I brought him to his knees with two punches, one to his stomach and the other to his face. I saw the fight go out of him, and I knew I had won. I walked over to him and leaned in.

“She didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do,” I said firmly. “You need to respect the fact that she’s a grown woman. Stay out of her business, and while you’re at it, stay out of mine, too.”

Devon’s response was to spit out the blood pooling in his mouth. Satisfied that I had got my point across, I walked out of the house, got onto my bike, and rode off, wondering what exactly I was fighting for in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Two

Mila

 

“Fucking hell!” Red cursed.

It was the third time in a row that I’d managed to get him flat on his back. The other men hooted and hollered, and I couldn’t help but laugh in triumph.

“I think it’s time to throw in the towel, Red,” I said, offering him a hand to pull him back on his feet. “I think it’s time to admit that I’m the better fighter.”

“Please… you just got lucky,” Red said stubbornly.

“Lucky?” I repeated, in disbelief. “Three times in a row?”

“I beat you twice before that,” Red reminded me.

“I was just warming up,” I said cockily. “Letting you get comfortable.”

The men laughed raucously, and I gave Red a wink. “Maybe I should give you a few pointers.”

Red sent me a mocking glare and got out of the ring in a huff. “This is all Zack’s fucking fault,” he complained. “He never taught any of us. Apparently, he’s in on some secrets he’s shared only with you.”

“Guess that means I’m special,” I said.

“Please, it only means you’re hot,” Red said. “That’s it.”

I smiled. “Whatever helps you sleep at night Red,” I said.

“I think I liked you better when you didn’t know how to defend yourself,” Red said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You and most of the other perverts and assaulters out there.”

Red colored visibly. “Shit… that’s not what I meant.”

I smiled to tell him all was forgiven. “It’s fine… I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

I cooled down a little and then headed back to my room for a shower and a small rest. I was about to head upstairs when I noticed Devon in the living room corner.

“Hi,” I said. “What are you doing skulking around in—”

I stopped short as I realized his face was bruised up, and he had a swollen eye. “Oh my God,” I gasped. “I saw you only a couple of hours ago. What the hell happened?”

Devon sighed. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” I repeated, coming towards him and inspecting his face in panic. “This does not look like nothing Devon.”

“You should see the other guy,” Devon said, trying to make a joke that just came off all wrong because he winced when he tried to smile.

“Who did this?” I demanded.

“It’s nothing, ok?” Devon said impatiently. “This was just… an argument that went wrong.”

“Wait, are you saying one of the guys did this?” I asked.

“Well—”

“Oh my God,” I said, realizing who it was. “Zack?”

“He never could handle a difference of opinion very well.”

I gave Devon a glare. “What were you guys arguing about?”

Devon gave me a look. “What do you think?”

“Me?” I asked, in disbelief.

Devon nodded shortly.

“Why?” I demanded. “What was there to fight about… if this is about Walter—”

“It had nothing to do with Black.”

“Then—”

“Is it true?” Devon asked. “Did you sleep with Zack?”

I paused in shock, and then I felt myself bristle defensively. “Is that honestly what you two were fighting about?”

“I told him to stay away from you,” Devon said, without mincing his words. “And he basically gave me a black eye for it.”

I cocked my head to the side. “That looks like it hurts,” I said.

“I’ve had worse,” Devon said with a shrug.

“I wish he hadn’t done this,” I said. “I wish you guys didn’t have to resort to punches for everything. I thought this was supposed to be a brotherhood.”

“Brothers fight.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I can’t believe the two of you.”

“You haven’t answered my question,” Devon pointed out.

“Because it’s none of your business,” I snapped.

“That’s what Zack said too.”

“Well, he has a point,” I said. “I’m not a child, Devon. I’m a grown woman, and what I choose to do with my body is my business. If you’re worried I was forced into something… that’s not what happened, so you can relax.”

“He’s not good for you,” Devon said. “This life… it’s not for everyone.”

“I know that,” I said. “I don’t think you have to worry about that in any case. Zack and I are both aware we don’t have a future together. After Black is found, I’m leaving, and I don’t know if I’ll ever come back.”

Devon nodded. “Ok.”

“Let me put some ice on that,” I said.

“I’m fine,” Devon assured me. “This will be great street cred for me.”

I shook my head. All men were just overgrown children at the end of the day. “Where’s Zack?” I asked.

“He went for a ride,” Devon said.

I nodded and went upstairs to shower. I had planned on spending some time in my room reading, but after my conversation with Devon, I was so wired that I could barely sit still. In the end, I went outside and walked up and away from the house towards the trees where I had had my first real conversation with Zack.

It was a perfect place to sit down and do some heavy introspection. I could see the clubhouse and the garage from my vantage point, but I was hidden from view for the most part. I sat there for almost an hour before I heard the revving of an engine, and then I watched Zack pull up outside the garage on his bike. As usual, he wasn’t wearing a helmet, but he was wearing his motorcycle jacket with the Angels’ patches and colors on them.

He cut an impressive figure, and I couldn’t help but admire his large and intimidating form. I wasn’t sure if he saw me or if the need for solitude was what pulled him towards the trees, but after he had put his bike away, he started walking in my direction.

“Enjoyed your ride?” I asked, alerting him to my presence as he came up along the slight hill.

He looked up and gave me a small smile. “I did actually.”

I could tell that he didn’t have a scratch on him. “So… Devon didn’t even manage to land a punch, huh?”

Zack looked at me pointedly, realizing that I had seen and spoken to Devon. “He was an idiot to think he could take me. Just so you know, I tried to stop the argument in its tracks. He just wouldn’t let it go.”

“You could have still walked away,” I said as he came closer. “You didn’t have to hit him.”

“When he’s asking for it… I do.”

“Still an asshole.”

“Get used to it,” Zack replied.

I sighed. “He’s only looking out for me,” I said.

“Which is why I didn’t leave him unconscious.”

I shook my head. “It’s so easy to you guys… fighting, bleeding…violence.”

“You’re one to talk.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a natural fighter,” Zack pointed out.

“But I don’t seek out a fight.”

“No, but when it finds you, you need to be able to take it on,” Zack replied. “Which is what I did.”

I bit my lip. “Can you please… please just lay off Devon?”

“I can’t—”

“Zack!” I said, cutting him off and grabbing his hand at the same time. That forced his eyes to mine, and he seemed frozen in place for a second. “Please?”

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. “Fine,” he nodded. “I’ll lay off him… even if he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Thank you.”

I meant to let go of his hand at that point, but something kept me holding on. Zack didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was staying absolutely still, as though movement might scare me off and make me drop my hold on him.

“So… did he tell you what the argument was about?” Zack asked.

“I got the gist,” I nodded. “You told him we slept together.”

Zack had the grace to look a little ashamed at least. “It just…came out. I was trying to—”

“You were trying to piss him off…further.”

“Well—”

“Don’t bother denying it,” I said. “You and I both know that was what you were trying to do.”

“Ok… so maybe I was trying to piss him off… a little.”

I shook my head at him. “Children.”

“I’m sorry,” Zack said, and I could hear the sincerity in his tone.

I smiled. “I never expected to hear a real apology out of you.”

“I never expected to ever give one,” Zack admitted.

I looked up at him. “I know you want to act as though you’re cut from stone… nothing can touch you, nothing can hurt you. But I see past all that. You’re not as… ruthless as you appear, Zack Robinson.”

“Hmm I need to work on that then,” he replied.

I shook my head. “Why?” I asked. “Why is humanity a weakness?”

“I don’t know,” Zack said quietly. “It’s what I was raised to believe, and it’s a hard belief to shake.”

“You’ve taught me a lot, Zack,” I said. “But maybe I can teach you something too.”

“You can’t change me, Mila,” Zack sighed.

“I think I already have,” I said.

I could see all the color in his beautiful hazel eyes. I could see flecks of green and gold. I could see all the colors of autumn. There was nothing remotely frightening about those eyes. I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, purely because I wanted to.

We broke away naturally, and Zack's eyes softened when he looked at me. “I thought we agreed not to go there.”

“When this is all over… we’ll probably never see each other again,” I said. “So until then… why not be together while we can?”

Zack considered that for a moment, and then his face broke out into a slow smile. “That sounds… very reasonable.”

“Does it?”

Zack pulled me closer into the curve of his body, and then I felt his hands travel up the skirt of my dress. I felt myself shiver in response, just like I had the night we had slept together for the first time. I was more aware of what to expect this time, but it still felt like the first time. There was all the same anticipation and excitement and wonder.

As he lay me down on the soft earth, I stared up at the leaves of the trees, dangling over us like dancing wind chimes. I should have been self-conscious that we were out in the open. Anyone could have walked right up to us. But at that moment, I couldn’t have cared less. I felt my inhibitions float away as though I’d never had any at all.

Even as Zack pulled down my panties and slipped inside me, I couldn’t bring myself to care about anyone or anything. Not even Walter Black was important enough to draw my focus or interest. There was only Zack and I… and the trees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Three

Zack

 

“Hi there, honey,” the waitress greeted as she came over to me. “I hear you’ve been asking some questions around here.”

She was tall and willowy, and she was wearing a short black skirt that showed off her legs. She had dark eyes and dark blond hair that could have passed for brown. She was obviously pretty, and I knew that on any other day I would have hit on her, but today she held no interest for me.

“I’m looking for someone,” I replied. “He’s a big guy, tattooed, about my height. Goes by the name Walter Black.”

The waitress frowned, but I could tell from her expression that she hadn’t heard the name before. “Sorry, hon,” she replied. “I haven’t heard of anyone with that name.”

“Has anyone come in here that fits that description?”

“It’s not much of a description,” she said.

“He has a tattoo of a siren on his right calf,” I said. “And a massive tattoo of an eagle that covers his entire back.”

The waitress smiled at me. “Most of our customers come in with their shirts on,” she said. “We have a lot of customers, and most of them have tattoos. I haven’t seen anyone come in here with the tattoos you just described. But even if he had… they’re not exactly in places that I would have seen.”

“Fuck,” I said, under my breath.

“Listen,” she said. “I don’t want any trouble, ok?”

“I’m not trying to make trouble,” I told her.

“In my experience… men like you coming into places like this and asking questions never ends well for anyone involved. I know you run with a gang—”

“We’re not a gang,” I corrected.

“Doesn’t matter what you call yourselves,” she said. “It amounts to the same thing. You don’t play by the rules. You do things your own way. Which is fine, as long as you keep the rest of us out of this. I have a son to raise, and this bar is my only livelihood.”

I nodded. “Understood,” I said. “I’ll be going now.”

She nodded and watched me walk out of the bar. I walked down the street and turned down the corner where I had left my bike. Devon was already waiting for me. He didn’t look as bad anymore, and the swelling on his face had gone down considerably. He was smoking a cigarette and leaning against his own bike.

“Well?” I asked. “Any leads?”

“Dead ends,” Devon replied, in obvious frustration. “Every single one. What about you?”

“Same,” I replied. “No one seems to know anything about this fucker. He’s a ghost.”

“What do we do?” Devon asked, with a raised eyebrow. “We can’t just let this go.”

“No, we can’t,” I agreed.

“Do you have a game plan?”

I sighed. I wished I had, but the truth was I had no clue what to do. Approaching Godwin openly would be a huge insult. It would give him the opportunity to deny everything outright, and that would leave me without an opportunity to retaliate. Of course, I was assuming a lot. What if Godwin simply admitted to everything? Then that would mean I would have to act and approaching him would mean walking right into his turf with only a handful of my own men. I couldn’t exactly show up with an army at my back and claim I was there just to talk.

This was one of those days when I wished I had chosen a different life. I had never wanted to be leader of this club. I had wanted to ride my Harley and live free, outside the rules that other people lived by. But after Dad had died… somehow everyone had looked to me to carry on his legacy. This wasn’t a fucking dynasty. I had repeated that till I was blue in the face, but the vote had been cast, and my name had been drawn. I had no choice but to accept the mantle with some amount of humility.

“Zack?”

“I’m thinking,” I snapped.

I looked towards the street. It wasn’t the best area to be in, and the good crowd tended to be on the opposite end of the town where there were ice cream parlors and bakeries and old record stores that played music from different decades. That was the world that I didn’t belong to… and yet sometimes I wondered.

“You can head back now,” I said, snapping out of my fog of thought.

“That’s it?” Devon asked.

“Why?” I asked. “Is there another lead that needs to be looked into?”

“No,” Devon replied. “But…”

“But what?” I demanded. “If you have any ideas that won’t start another war with the Knights, then I’m all ears.”

Devon looked at me curiously.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “I just assumed a fight was what you were looking for.”

“Maybe I was,” I said. “But maybe that’s changed.”

Devon raised his eyebrows. “What’s changed exactly?”

“None of your business,” I said shortly. “Go home.”

“Where are you heading to?” Devon asked.

“I need a drink,” I replied. “A strong one, and I won’t find that back at the house.”

I got on my motorbike and turned into the street while Devon finished off his cigarette. He was watching me intently, and I was on the verge of demanding what his problem was, but then I thought better of it. What did I care what his problem was? I had my own shit to deal with, and I didn’t need Devon’s opinions in my head.

He had kept his distance from me since the fight. It wasn’t like we were mad at each other or anything. That wasn’t what our lifestyle was about. We had disagreements, we had fights, but we always rolled back on our feet, dusted ourselves off, and got on with it. Only children held grudges, and Devon knew he had it coming to him. I was a grown man, and his sister was an adult who knew her own mind. A part of me didn’t really blame him for being protective of her though. I had noticed how close the two of them had gotten over the last several weeks.

I drove off and found another bar a few streets over. It was one I had frequented often. None of the Knights ever came in here because the owner had been a good friend of my father’s. He had passed away some time ago, too, and left the bar to a nephew he liked, but the tradition had stuck and while the Angels were welcome, the Knights kept away.

I used to be a regular at the bar on Friday nights. It was one of the best places in town to pick up women. I don’t know why I felt drawn to it tonight. Maybe I was trying to capture a part of my past self, the man I had been before this whole thing with Walter Black had started up. Somehow, I could sense a difference in myself. It was subtle, but it was prevalent and I wasn’t sure what I should make of it.

The bar was mildly crowded. There was low music, and the lights were dim. There were a couple of people at both pool tables; another group of people playing darts, and a handful at the tables. There was no one at the bar, however, so I sidled up and took a seat.

“Look who it is,” Aaron said, turning to me.

He was wearing his usual ponytail and a bunch of wooden bracelets on both wrists. “Hi man,” I nodded to him. “You died your hair again.”

Instead of the red color that I had grown accustomed to seeing him with, he was now a platinum blond. He had one of those chameleon faces that seemed to be able to pull off anything.

“A couple of weeks ago,” he nodded. “You haven’t been in here for a while.”

“Been busy.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard,” Aaron nodded. “You and your boys have been making noise.”

“And anyone sticking their heads out because of it?”

“A few,” Aaron nodded. “But none that I’ve ever recognized… otherwise, I would have let you know.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know a Walter Black, would you?”

“Never heard the name,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “Friend of yours?”

I smirked. “Sure… let’s say he’s a friend of mine. If he comes in here at any point, let him know that I’m looking for him and I just want to say hello.”

“I’ve never heard of a hello sounding so sinister.”

I smiled. “Give me something hard to drink.”

“Any preferences?”

“Just something strong,” I said. “That’s all.”

I was waiting for my drink to show up when I felt someone come up behind me. I tensed for a second before I caught a whiff of her perfume, and I relaxed immediately.

“Hi there, stranger,” she said, coming up at my shoulder and putting her hand through my arm like we were close friends.

“You look familiar,” I said, staring at her face.

She had stony blue eyes and blond hair that looked brown in the dim lighting. She was voluptuous, and she had chosen to highlight that by wearing a tight blue dress that looked like a second skin. Her breasts were pushed up high, and they looked about ready to pop out of her dress.

“I look familiar?” she laughed. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I don’t kid very often,” I said without a smile.

She didn’t seem at all perturbed by my mood. In fact, she almost seemed to take it as a challenge. Her grip on my arm got tighter, and she batted her eyes at me a little harder.

“You should remember me,” she said. “You fucked me three times.”

I frowned. “I’ve never taken the same girl home twice, let alone three times.”

She laughed as though everything I said was the funniest thing in the world. “What I meant was that you fucked me thrice on the same night.”

“Oh, that makes more sense.”

“That was the most orgasms I’ve ever had with one man,” she said.

“Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“You look a little lonely,” she said. “How about I keep you company tonight like I did the last time?”

I gritted my teeth. All I had really been looking for was a strong drink and a little quiet. But I realized now I wasn’t going to that here.

“I’m good,” I said firmly.

She looked a little taken back, but she refused to give up. “Oh come on… it’ll be fun.”

“It’ll be fun for you,” I replied. “But for me, it’s going to be a chore.”

She frowned at that one, and her smile faltered a little. “You fucked me once before,” she said as if that were a real argument.

I sighed. “Exactly,” I nodded. “Which means I don’t need to do it again.”

I stood up just as Aaron set my drink in front of me. I shook off her arm and pushed the drink towards her. “I’m afraid this is all I can give you tonight. Night, Aaron,” I nodded to him.

Then I took off with her eyes on my back. I got onto my motorbike and started my way back to the clubhouse. It wasn’t like I wasn’t horny. It was the fact that the girl I wanted was not in that bar. The girl I wanted was sitting in my house right now waiting for me.

 

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mila

 

It was dark when I came downstairs. I had just showered after a long training session in the ring with a few of the boys. Zack and Devon had been missing in action, and I knew I was the reason. They were busy trying to find new leads that might tip them off as to where Walter might be.

Some days, I woke up and it felt like he was a nightmare that I had conjured up out of nowhere. There were times when I could almost believe the nightmare and convince myself that Walter Black had never existed at all. He was just a figment of all my insecurities and fears rolled into one. I had started going over that night obsessively in my head. I would force myself to recall that moment when he had wrapped his hands around my neck and tried to strangle me because I refused to sleep with him.

I wasn’t a sadist. It was my way of trying to build up my resolve, my courage, and my determination because I had started imagining a possibility that used to terrify me in the past, but now it only filled me with expectation. I started imagining what it would be like to come face to face with Walter again. Except this time would be different. I was no longer the shy, uncertain, terrified woman he had picked up and carefully groomed. I was not a possession to be acquired and then used. I was strong. I had confidence, and I felt like I could take him on.

I wasn’t sure if that was coming from a place of ignorance. After all, it was easy to be brave when you secluded in a cocoon of safety, surrounded by men who you knew would fight to protect you. I wondered how I would feel if I were to move out of the house and continue on with my life as if nothing had happened.

Some days, it actually felt like a viable option. I knew how to defend myself now. Wasn’t the whole point of that to be able to live my life without fear? Maybe I wouldn’t need to move to another state at all. Maybe I could stay here… close to Devon and close to… no. I forced myself to end that thought. We both knew we had no future. It was pointless to dream about things that would never be. It hurt more when you had to walk away from them.

The living room was empty when I walked in. I could hear a few of the boys in the kitchen and a motorbike outside. A second later, I heard the engine die. I walked outside, hoping to see Zack, but it was just Devon, and it appeared he had come back alone.

“Hi,” he said, walking towards me.

“Hi,” I nodded back. “Heard anything?”

“No, sorry,” he said, and I could see the frustration on his face.

“Maybe you should call it quits?” I suggested.

“While that asshole is out there, walking around and lying in wait?” Devon responded. “Fuck no.”

“I thought you went with Zack?” I asked, trying to sound indifferent about it.

“I did.”

“He didn’t come back with you?” I asked.

“No… he looked like he needed a drink.”

“Oh,” I said, hoping that my disappointment wasn’t evident in my tone or my face.

“I don’t know if he’ll be back any time soon… just in case you were waiting for him.”

“I’m not,” I said quickly. “I was just… wondering.”

Devon looked at me carefully for a moment, and then he sighed. “Don’t tell me you’re actually falling for him?”

I knew that deflecting the question would only work against me. So I thought about how to respond. “I’m… not in love with him,” I said.

Devon gave me a smile. “That sounds like a lie.”

“Fuck,” I sighed, looking down. “It did, didn’t it?”

“Pretty much,” Devon nodded.

“Fuck me,” I said again. Then I noticed Devon’s eyes on me. “Oh don’t look at me like that,” I said. “It’s bad enough this has happened.”

“What has happened exactly?” Devon asked.

“Everything,” I said. “I hated him when I first met him. I genuinely thought he was an asshole and an idiot.”

“Both true—”

“But then… something happened along the way,” I admitted. “I got to know him a little better and suddenly… he wasn’t just an asshole and an idiot. He was also this deeply complicated man who had a complicated past. I mean… we all have our shit, don’t we?”

“We all have our shit,” Devon agreed. “It’s just some of our baggage is heavier than others.”

“I know you don’t approve.”

“Does it even matter?” Devon asked. “Zack made it clear that I’m to stay out of his business, and I’m sure you feel the same way.”

“I do,” I nodded. “I’m not looking for approval or advice. I just want… someone to talk to. I didn’t really have that before.”

Devon smiled. “Me neither.”

“Just out of curiosity… if I were to ask you for your advice?” I said, glancing at him shyly. “What would you say?”

He smiled. “I would say… trust your gut and go with your instincts.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “That’s the best you’ve got?”

“Sorry,” he laughed. “I’m not really good with romantic advice. None of us are really. I’ll just say one thing.”

“Ok?”

“I’ve known Zack a long time,” Devon told me. “And I’ve never seen him with the same woman twice. He’s never been interested in relationships, and he’s always been honest about that.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“That being said… he’s been a little… different lately.”

I looked up. “What do you think that means?”

“I have no idea,” Devon said. “It could mean anything. I don’t know the exact reason for this change. All I know is that I started to notice it after you moved in here. Interpret that how you want.”

I nodded. “Thanks, bro.”

He smiled. “You deserve the life you want, Mila,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen. “You just need to figure out what that is.”

“You don’t think this lifestyle is suited to me, do you?” I asked because I actually happened to care what he thought.

“No, I don’t,” Devon replied. “But I also thought you wouldn’t last in this house for more than a week. I thought you’d want out the moment you stepped foot in here, so really, what the hell do I know?”

I smiled and went back up to my bedroom to ruminate on my uncertain future and my lingering feelings for a man I knew I couldn’t have. I looked around this room that had become my home, and I realized that it didn’t feel as claustrophobic as it had when I first walked into it. Now there was a level of comfort that pervaded through it. Or maybe it was just that I felt safe here, and I was mistaking that for comfort.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed. Would it feel strange to leave? Would it hurt? I really wondered. So much of my life had changed in such a short space of time. I had changed, and that would leave a lasting impact. Was I the kind of girl who could stay in this town and live looking back over my shoulder every day? Or was I the kind of girl who would just leave all the questions behind and make a new life for myself someplace where I could re-write my story?

I was still thinking when my door opened. I gasped and stood up in surprise. Everyone always knocked first before they entered. I was taken aback by the intrusion on my privacy. I calmed down a little when I saw Zack standing there. He was wearing dark trousers and a cutaway shirt that showed off his tattooed arms and the beautiful definition of his muscles.

His face was serious, and when I glanced at his eyes, I saw they were hungry… intense and filled with want. For a moment I was concerned, and I took a step towards him.

“Zack,” I whispered his name. “Is everything all right?”

He closed the door without even turning around. He kept his eyes trained on me. Before I could think, he had grabbed me and pulled me against his body. I slammed into him with unexpected force, and I felt another little gasp escape me. Before I could recover, his lips had come down over mine, and he was kissing me passionately, heatedly... there was something much like anger in the way he kissed me.

I felt his hands travel over my body, tearing at my clothes like some starved animal without actually removing them. He turned, with me in his arms and pushed me up against the wall. I felt his hands slide up my skirt. A second later, his fingers hooked into the waistline of my panties and with one clear yank, he had ripped them right off, and I couldn’t even bring myself to care.

He shoved himself inside me, and I could feel how severe his erection was. He shot right up inside me, and I realized that he had gone as deep as it was possible to go. I could feel my gasps turn into moans and screams, but this time I had absolutely no control. The intensity of his lips and hands and thrust made it impossible for me to maintain any sense of calm.

I knew that if I wasn’t careful, the boys would be able to hear us, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to concentrate hard enough to keep the screams from escaping. He wasn’t gentle or slow or calm or soft this time. This time he was ravenous and passionate and violent… and I realized just how arousing this type of sex was. I could understand why people craved it. I could understand now… having experienced it what it was really about.

It was about wanting the other person so much that you couldn’t keep your hands off them. It was about unadulterated lust and desire and carnal pleasure. And it was special because you could only ever experience this type of desire once or twice in your life with a handful of people. This kind of connection didn’t happen every day. It wasn’t common. It was unique and special, and it was meant for only a chosen few who happened to make the right connection.

He fucked me so hard that for a second, I wondered if it was possible for a woman to split in two. It was a giddy moment of hysteria that was mixed in with so much pleasure that I realized that if indeed I did break into two, I wouldn’t mind in the least.

I knew when he was about to cum because his legs and arms clenched around me, and he was grinding his teeth together in an effort to last longer. He didn’t need to bother though, because I came at the same moment he did. I felt his body subside into stillness the moment he came, and I wrapped my arms around him, knowing that he would need my help to stay upright.

He rested his head on my shoulder while I wrapped my arms around him and waited for his breathing to slow. After a few minutes, I kissed his cheek, and he lifted his head up. Our eyes met, and I saw confusion and uncertainty and fear. Then he pulled away from me, zipped himself up, and went to lean back against my windowsill. I just watched him, unable to think of one thing to say. The silence stretched on and on, and finally I sat down on the bed and took a deep breath.

“You know… you could lie down,” I said, patting the space next to me.

He eyed the bed, and I was sure he was going to make some offhand comment and leave immediately. But to my surprise, he walked over and sat down beside me.

“Will you teach me to ride a bike?” I asked, on the spur of the moment.

He turned his face towards me, without really ever meeting my eye. “You really want to learn how to ride?” he asked, a small smile playing on his face.

“Yes.”

“Ok then,” he agreed.

“When?”

“Tomorrow,” he promised.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Five

Zack

 

I remembered the moment I had come back home. It was a drizzly Tuesday when I’d walked up to the front door of the house I’d grown up in. I had been gone only a couple of years, but it felt like a lifetime had passed. I had left an angry teenager, and now I felt like the weary old traveler who simply wanted to lay his head down on a place he was familiar with.

If I concentrated really hard, I could see it all happen in real time. I could see my father’s face contort into relief and anger. I could see my mother looking at me with the hugest smile on her face. I could hear the words that we flung at each other directly after that moment. Then dad had stormed off, calling me an ungrateful child, and Mom had come and hugged me so hard that I could barely breathe. It had been a long time since I’d revisited that memory in such detail.

But I was on the open road, driving fast with the wind slapping against my face, and the memory wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. It came easily, and suddenly I was reliving it again… like I was there.

Mom pulled back and cupped my face with her hands. “Let me look at you.”

She had aged. I could tell right away. It was like the last few years had expanded into ten. There were lines around her eyes and mouth; her hazel eyes were paler now. It was like they had lost some of the bright brown that used to make them sparkle. Her hair was a fierce and bright brown, which told me that she dyed it regularly. She would have only started doing that if she had started to go gray.

“Hi, Mom,” I said softly.

“You’re huge,” she said, grabbing my arms. “Where did all these muscles come from?”

I smiled.

“And you have new tattoos.”

“A few more,” I nodded.

“A few,” she repeated with a laugh.

Then her laughter faded, and she gestured to me to sit down. We sat next to each other at the round kitchen table that faced large windows so that we could see the trees outside.

“You’ll need to give your father some time,” she said.

I nodded. “I know.”

She smiled at that. “You’ve changed,” she observed.

“How can you tell?”

“It’s in your eyes,” she responded. “You’re not the stubborn teenager that stormed out of here and vowed never to return.”

“Stubborn?” I repeated, with raised eyebrows.

“Come now,” Mom said, touching my hand every few seconds as though to make sure I was really there. “You and I both know it was your stubborn nature that led to that fight.”

I sighed. “Yes, I was stubborn,” I nodded. “But I was angry too. I felt like both of you had lied to me my entire life.”

“Where was the lie, son?” Mom asked.

“Really?”

“Really,” Mom nodded. “I’m your mother and Dad is your father… what more is there to say?”

“The relationship you had with Godwin—”

“Was a long time ago,” she replied before I could finish. “I was young… we all were. Yes, I was with Godwin when I met your father… And in many ways, he was my savior.”

“What do you mean?”

“Godwin was not good to the women he was with,” Mom replied. “He was charming ‘til he had me, and then he morphed back into his true nature. He was possessive and violent and prone to fits of anger that would last days for no reason. He was egotistical and greedy. He would obsess about little things, and he would place blame just so that he would have a reason to pick a fight.

“Living with him was torture, but I was too scared to leave him. Then I met your father and he got me out. He saved me from the life I had been living with Godwin and his club. He made sure Godwin could never hurt me ever again.”

“But you were pregnant,” I pointed out.

“Yes, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks after I moved in with your father.”

“And you’re not going to address that?” I asked.

Mom sighed. “What would you like me to say, Zack?” she asked. “Yes, there’s a possibility that Godwin might be your father? Fine, then I’ll say it. Yes, there is a possibility Godwin might be your father. But just for the record, you should know that having raised you, having spent a good portion of my life with your father, I believe that you are his son and no one else’s. But that is my instinct alone… so yes, it is possible.”

I cringed at her words as my body tried to fight against them somehow. Could it really be possible? Life wouldn’t be that cruel… would it?

“You’ve always looked just like your father.”

“Is that a fact?” I bit back. “Or are you just seeing what you want to see?” I bit my lip. “You never wanted to find out for sure?” I asked.

“It wasn’t me,” Mom said, shaking her head. “Your father is the one who didn’t want to find out.”

“Maybe he should have,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because he clearly wondered about it my whole life,” I said. “He clearly believed that I was Godwin’s son.”

“Why do you think that?” Mom asked.

“Why else would he have been so hard on me?”

Mom sighed and shook her head. “Sometimes it shocks me that neither one of you can see it,” she said. “The two of you are so alike in so many ways, Zack… is it any wonder you butt heads so often?”

“Come on, Mom… that’s a simplistic argument.”

“Maybe so,” she nodded. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be true. Your father loves you to death, Zack… he’s just not the type of man to ever say that out loud. I’ve been with him for two decades now, and he has never once told me he loves me. But why should that bother me? I feel like he loves me. So why should words be necessary for me to believe that?”

“I don’t need words,” I said. “I never needed words. But he was always so… harsh, so angry with me.”

“Oh, Zack,” Mom sighed. “He was never angry with you. He was angry at the world—and sometimes he took it out on you—but it was only because he was trying to prepare you. He wanted to make sure you were ready.”

“For what?”

“For life, for adulthood, for the lifestyle we’ve chosen to live,” Mom replied. “A part of me thinks he was even preparing you to deal with Godwin.”

I frowned. “Was he really scared of that?”

“Yes,” Mom nodded. “Godwin is not a man who forgets a slight. He’s hated your father ever since I ran away with him. He couldn’t strike back because the cost would have been too high. So your father feels he’s just lying in wait… trying to find the right moment to strike. And what better way to strike back than to target you.”

“Does he… does he suspect?” I asked.

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Does he suspect what?”

“Does Godwin suspect that I might be his son?”

“It wouldn’t matter either way,” Mom replied. “You were raised by his enemy; you call him Dad. Even if it turns out you’re his son, he’s not going to feel like you’re his son. Zack… I know you think he treated you differently because of this, but he would have been the same with any son we might have had together. Trust me…”

I looked at Mom and wondered what made her choose this life. She was a quiet woman, and she blended easily with other people. If anyone saw her on the street, no one would assume she was the wife of an MC leader.

“Why did you stay with Dad?” I asked bluntly.

“Because he loved me,” she replied.

I was slightly taken back by her response. I had expected her to say the more conventional ‘because I loved him’ line.

“He loved you?” I repeated. “Didn’t you love him?”

Mom smiled. “Not at first,” she admitted. “I clung to him because he was giving me a way out. My plan was to leave the state and go someplace new. I didn’t want anything to do with motorcycle clubs or their lifestyles. I wanted to get as far away from that as possible.”

“Seriously?” I asked, amazed that we’d never spoken about this before. But then, I hadn’t really been interested in listening before now.

“Yes,” Mom nodded. “But I had to lie low for a while before leaving the state, and in the meantime… your father and I became friends. Do you know the reason I decided to stay behind?”

“Why did you stay behind?” I asked.

Mom smiled. “Because he asked me to,” she replied. “He didn’t make any declarations of love. He didn’t promise me anything. But he didn’t need to. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t be asking me to stay unless he felt he could treat me well.”

“So you stayed?” I asked, in amazement. “You must have loved him then.”

“I did at that point,” Mom nodded. “He just loved me a little more at first. It’s the reason he didn’t care about my pregnancy. He just wanted to look after me… and you.”

I sighed. “He did look after us,” I admitted. “I suppose realizing that is what brought me back here.”

Mom nodded. “You’ve grown up.”

“Do you think Dad will ever speak to me again?”

Mom smiled. “Of course,” she said. “He was thrilled to see you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Umm… did we see the same man?”

Mom laughed. “Trust that I know your father better than you do. He’s angry, but beneath that anger is relief. He’s glad you’re back. Which is not to say he’s going to go easy on you.”

“I never expected him to,” I nodded.

“What’s your plan, Zack?” Mom asked, but I knew what she was really asking.

“I want to come back to the Fallen Angels… I mean, I want to re-join,” I said.

“You’ll have to start from the beginning,” Mom replied. “As a pledge.”

“I know.”

“He’s not going to make the initiation process easy for you.”

“I know that, too.”

Mom nodded, and she looked like she was proud of me. “It’s good to have you back, son,” she said.

“It’s good to be back, Mom,” I nodded.

I snapped out of the memory as I came to a stop outside the clubhouse. I looked towards the trees in the distance. The house I had grown up on was just over the ridge, part of the same property but abandoned and unused since my mother’s death. Dad had moved into the clubhouse right after her funeral because he couldn’t stand staying there after she was gone.

Sometimes it seemed like his premature death was a relief because it meant he didn’t have to keep enduring without Mom. It was an unconventional love story, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was a love story. I had just never thought about it like this before. It wasn’t like I ever had a reason. I had never been drawn to a woman the way my father had been drawn to my mother.

I had fucked dozens and dozens of women, but I had never loved one. Nor had I ever really wanted to. Love felt like weakness to me. It felt like a crutch that slowed you down. I wasn’t interested in being slowed down. But I had always assumed I would have the choice to fall in love or not.

But now… I realized I had assumed wrong my entire life. It wasn’t a choice. It never had been.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Six

Mila

 

“Where are we going?” I asked.

We had left the clubhouse down below, and we were walking towards the trees. We had already passed the point where we’d had sex, and the gentle slope was getting a little steeper.

“You’ll see,” Zack told me cryptically.

Frowning, I followed behind me until the slope reached its peak. I looked down and saw a tiny house a short distance away. It was obvious that no one had lived in it for quite some time. I could see that the windows were sealed shut, and there was a nice layer of dust that covered them over. The paint had been scraped off, and the roof looked battered and bruised.

Still, there was a certain charm about it. It was extremely simple and very small, but I could almost picture what it would have looked like in better days.

“I didn’t even know there was a house down here,” I said, wondering why I hadn’t thought to explore a little more.

“It’s mine,” Zack replied.

“What?” I asked, turning to him.

“Well it was my parents’,” Zack replied. “But since their deaths, it passed to me. That is where I grew up.”

“Wow,” I said, feeling new interest overtake me. “I can’t believe I didn’t know it was here.”

“No one comes here,” I said. “Out of deference to me, I suppose. I think they assume it would piss me off.”

“Would it?” I asked.

Zack smiled. “It might have…”

“When’s the last time you came here?”

“Umm… a few weeks before you came to the clubhouse,” Zack admitted. “I come to the house every few months. I just sit in front of it and stare at it and remember my parents. I haven’t ever gone back to their gravestones since they were buried. I do my mourning here… in front of this house.”

We walked down the slope towards the house, and I glanced at Zack. “Do you ever go inside?” I asked.

“No,” I replied. “After Dad moved into the clubhouse… I stayed back for a few months. And then I moved into the clubhouse too.”

“Couldn’t stay behind, huh?”

“At first, I thought it would be nice to have the house to myself,” Zack nodded. “I don’t know; it just didn’t feel right staying on when Dad had left.”

We were standing right outside the house, staring up at its remains. “Do you think you’ll ever make use of this house again?” I asked.

Zack looked thoughtfully at the front door and sighed. “I don’t know… I should do something with it. Otherwise, it’s just sitting here, old and forgotten. I could do it up so that the boys can sleep over maybe… there’ll be more room for everyone.”

I nodded. “That sounds like a good idea.”

“I don’t know that it does,” Zack said. “Most of the older guys have families or partners. They’re not going to end up here…”

He seemed pensive, but there was no sadness in his tone. It felt like he had resigned himself to the inevitable. This club was family to him, but he was also acknowledging that the other men had real families. They had wives and children who needed them.

“Do you want to go inside?” Zack asked suddenly, turning to me.

“I… seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you haven’t been in there for a while?”

“I haven’t,” he admitted. “But there’s no reason not to go inside. I don’t believe in ghosts anyway.”

“I do,” I said.

“You do?” Zack turned to me.

“Well… yeah,” I nodded. “I think very few people actually see the ghosts, but I think it’s possible that people leave behind an imprint of themselves.”

“To finish unfinished business?” Zack asked.

“More like to watch over the people they care about.”

Zack smiled. “That’s a beautiful notion.”

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” I asked.

“No,” he said quietly. “I don’t think you’re crazy. It’s nice that you have faith in things. I don’t.”

“You don’t have faith in anything?” I asked.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Faith implies that there’s some sort of cosmic reason for everything. Nothing happens by chance; everything has a purpose and a meaning. I’ve always felt like life itself is one big accident. Things happen every day without any reason. There’s no order or meaning; there’s just chaos and random occurrences.”

“Hmm…”

Zack turned to me with a smile. “Not the most optimistic viewpoint.”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to think any differently,” I admitted. “No offense, but you don’t look like the optimistic type.”

I laughed. “Come on… let’s see what the inside of this ruin looks like.”

The door was sort of wedged shut, and Zack had to push it open with the side of his body. There was nothing inside the house… not even furniture. It was just empty rooms filled with cobwebs and not much else. I closed my eyes for a second and imagined what it would have been like ten or twenty years ago with painted walls and curtains on the windows and the sound of people living amongst its walls.

I turned to Zack, and he was looking around like he really was seeing a ghost. I wondered for a second why he had chosen to bring me here and why he had chosen to come inside after years of avoiding it. Was that significant to him, or was it significant to us?

“When I was a kid, I always assumed I’d spend the rest of my life in this house,” Zack said, breaking the silence.

“You never know.”

Zack turned to me. “You think I’ll come back here?”

“Why not?” I asked.

Zack shook his head. “This house is part of a different story,” he said. “Its purpose is different. I think I may just tear it down and put up a new structure… something specific for the club.”

“Really?” I asked, in surprise.

“My parents are gone,” Zack said. “They raised their family here, and now I’ve moved on too. Maybe a fresh start is necessary.”

I wondered if there was a double meaning to his words. Was he trying to encourage me in the same way? Was he trying to tell me to get on with my life, to start fresh in a new place? Was he trying to tell me that since Walter had vanished into thin air, it was time to move on?

“A fresh start,” I repeated. “It sounds scary to me.”

“It always is,” Zack nodded. “Even if you want it.”

“What if you don’t want it?” I asked.

“Who wouldn’t want a fresh start?” Zack asked.

I nodded. “Yeah…”

Zack was looking around the house with faraway eyes, and I knew he was seeing the house he had grown up in. Not as it was now, neglected and old, but fresh and vibrant and filled with sound. I walked right up beside him, but I resisted the urge to take his hand. That had never been our relationship.

“Show me your room,” I said.

He nodded and started waking up the stairs. I followed behind him, and the stairs creaked beneath our feet. The staircase led to a small landing with a narrow corridor to the left and two doors to the right. Zack took me down the corridor to the last door on the right. He pushed open the door, and we walked in. It wasn’t as small as I had imagined. Or maybe it just looked that way because there was nothing in it.

The windows were large, however, and light streamed into the space, making it seem brighter than the rest of the house. There was nothing left of Zack’s childhood. No posters or mementos… nothing to tip me off as to the child or the teenager he had been.

Zack walked to the window. “It’s been years since I’ve been here,” he said softly, as though he were talking to himself.

“Zack?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked.

His eyes focused in on me, and the beautiful hazel seemed to sparkle a little brighter for a second. “I don’t know,” he replied after a moment.

I frowned. He didn’t know? What did that mean? Maybe he was still confused about his feelings for me. I could understand that to a point. I had been confused for the longest time too. But I had come to terms with how I really felt about Zack in the last few days. I could just never admit it out loud to him. I decided not to think about it. What would be the point? What would happen would happen and worrying about it wouldn’t change a thing. So I decided to simply make the best of the moment.

I walked up to him and kissed him softly on the lips. He seemed taken aback but pleased. I realized I had never initiated sex with him before. He was always the one who approached me. I felt his hands on the small of my back, and I felt that familiar tingle between my thighs as I moistened in anticipation.

I acted on instinct, driven by the need to live in the moment and my desire for Zack; I slipped to my knees and unzipped his pants. He stood still and watched me as I pulled down his pants and yanked his erect cock free of the material. I had never given head before, but I decided to do what I had done so far and simply go on instinct.

I slipped the tip of his cock into my mouth, and I heard him moan. Encouraged by the sound, I opened my mouth wider and took the length of him inside me. I could feel him at the back of my throat, and I almost gagged, but I managed to keep from choking. Saliva engulfed his cock, and I sucked on his dick until I felt his body shiver. He was the one that stopped me, and I knew it was because he was close to cumming, and he wanted to prolong the moment for as long as possible.

He got to his knees too and pushed me down on the dusty floorboards. I could tell that he didn’t want to wait or go slowly. He was ready to fuck me, and that was exactly what I wanted, too. He pushed inside me desperately, and I moaned in delight at the thread of sensations that enveloped me. He started pumping into me harder and harder until all I could hear was the sound of his balls slapping up against my thighs.

I tried to cling to his back, but he grabbed my hands and pinned them down against the floor. His chest was pressed up against my breasts, and I could feel the perspiration on his body wipe off on mine. He was fucking me so hard that he couldn’t kiss me, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing more personal than this. He was as deep inside me as a man could be in a woman. When I sensed he was close to cumming again, he changed position and flipped me over before fucking me hard doggy style. The wooden floors scraped my hands and knees, but I didn’t care. It barely even registered. All I could concentrate on was Zack’s cock slamming into me.

For the next position, Zack positioned me on top of him, and I had to ride him to my climax and his. My breasts bounced around with the urgency of my movements, but I kept going, spurred on by the way his hips moved in rhythm with mine. Afterward, we lay side-by-side, naked on the hardwood floors and looked out the open window at the sky above us. It was a pale blue dotted with little tufts of cloud that moved slowly past us.

“This is a good house, Zack,” I told him softly. “I know it’s not my place to say so… but I don’t think you should tear it down.”

He took my hand unexpectedly, and I felt myself freeze in response. “It is a good house,” was all he said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Zack

 

“Hello, Zackary,” Miriam said, sliding into the seat opposite me. “Where’s your beauty you brought here the last time?”

I smiled. “She’s at home.”

“At home, you say?” Miriam asked. “I didn’t realize you were living together.”

“We’re not,” I said, realizing how it sounded.

“Oh… just visiting then?”

I had to nod. “Yes, I suppose she is.”

“I like her,” Miriam said voluntarily. “She seems the right sort of girl for you.”

I frowned. “How do you figure that?”

“She’s beautiful, and she has this delicate nature about her… but you can tell she’s strong too. And that’s what you need: a strong woman.”

I nodded. Then, I realized I was painting the wrong picture of Mila and me. “We’re not together,” I said, but it felt like a lie on my tongue.

“You’re not?” Miriam asked, with raised eyebrows. She clearly thought I was lying.

“No,” I said. “We’re just… friends.”

“Hmm… ok.”

“I’m not telling you a lie, Miriam.”

“Then you’re an idiot,” she said, without missing a beat. “She’s a great girl. You shouldn’t let her get away.”

I sat back in my seat. “I’m really just waiting for my food.”

“It’ll get here,” Miriam replied impatiently. “Take it easy.”

I sighed. “I thought this place was supposed to be fast.”

“We’re not fast food,” Miriam said pointedly. “We’re gourmet. And you can wait ten more minutes. You know something tells me that this is more serious than I thought, which is why you’re getting so uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” I denied quickly.

“Please… why would you be in such a hurry to run out of here then?”

“Because the boys are waiting for me back home.”

“The boys?” Miriam asked. “Or your girl?”

“She’s not my girl,” I corrected.

“Why is that?” Miriam asked seriously.

I opened my mouth to say something snippy, but then I really thought about her question. I had been battling with it the last couple of days too. My relationship with Mila had found a happy place of comfort. We trained together regularly, we fucked almost every day, and afterward we would stay up and talk, sometimes for hours. It looked like a relationship, and it felt like one. We were both just refusing to call it one. Perhaps because we both knew that at the end of this thing, Mila would leave for another state and it would be that much harder to get over.

I thought about Walter Black, and I realized that my interest in him had faded fast in the last two weeks. I was starting to believe that maybe he didn’t really exist. Maybe he was just a random guy who disappeared right after because he was scared of retaliation. Maybe he had nothing to do with the Knights, and I had constructed that narrative because I had been so consumed by revenge.

Now I actually hoped that the narrative I had built was wrong. That way, I could forget about Walter Black and I could concentrate on Mila. But what would I do in that case? Ask her to stay with me? That was a huge step, and it was a declaration of my feelings for her. There were moments, however, when we were lying in bed together that I felt as though she wanted the same thing.

It felt as though she wanted me to tell her to stay. But I wasn’t sure if that was just wishful thinking on my part. She had made it clear from the start that I was the wrong type of guy for her and this was the wrong lifestyle for her.

“Zackary?”

I blinked and focused on Miriam. “You’re married, right?” I asked, turning the questions around on her.

She smiled and nodded. “Twenty-four years this winter.”

“And what’s it like being in a long-term relationship?”

“Fucking irritating,” Miriam replied. “Eighty percent of the time.”

“I see.”

“But the other twenty percent… well, that’s magic right there,” she said. “And it’s worth it.”

“Twenty-eighty,” I said. “Doesn’t seem like it is.”

“Oh, trust me, you’ll only realize it when you’ve found the right person,” she said. “But it’s totally worth it. Can you imagine what it’s like to have a partner in life, someone you can trust and rely on? You’ve got a best friend and a lover all rolled into one; you have someone you can yell at for no reason who won’t hold it against you the next day. You’ve got someone who can pick up the slack when you’re sick or tired. You’ve got someone who will have your back when no one else will. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?”

I smiled. “How did you meet him?” I asked.

Miriam seemed amused by my questions. “It’s interesting that after all these years, you’re finally interested in my life.”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Miriam laughed. “Sometimes you need to relate first before you can be interested in someone else. I suppose you never had a reason before Mila.”

It was painfully obvious that she knew why I was asking so many questions about her marriage. She saw the same need in me that I had recognized. I wondered if I was that transparent to everyone or if Miriam was just very perceptive.

“I met Darren when I was twenty-seven,” she said. “I was doing my Ph.D, and he was a surf instructor.”

“What?” I asked.

Miriam laughed. “Which part are you surprised by?”

“Every part,” I replied. “The fact that you have a doctorate, for starters… and the fact that you’re apparently married to a surfer.”

Miriam winked. “It doesn’t sound good on paper, does it?”

“No.”

“That’s what everyone thought too,” she laughed. “Hell, that’s what I thought. But we had this connection that was impossible to deny. He had just come off a messy divorce, and I was still figuring out my life, so it was just supposed to be a fling. We actually broke up for about six months. I ended things with him because I thought we were too different. Our lifestyles would never meld together.”

“Then what happened?”

“I realized that the six months we were apart were the worst of my life. I even had to take a break from my Ph.D. because I couldn’t concentrate. We ended up getting back together, and three months later, we were married.”

“Wow.”

“I got my doctorate, we bought a house by the sea, and somehow… things worked out.”

“How did you end up here?” I asked. “Running a burger shack in this tiny town?”

“It was the one thing we had in common,” Miriam laughed. “He loved to cook and experiment with food, and so did I. We decided that when the kids left the nest, we would start up a burger shack together… and amazingly, we did.”

I nodded. “That’s quite the love story.”

“It’s beautiful when you hear it in a couple of sentences, but we’ve had our rough patches, too. We separated for a couple of months when the kids were really young, but we always found our way back to each other.”

“Why do you think you did when so many other couples don’t?” I asked.

“Because we tried harder,” Miriam replied. “And we loved harder too. No relationship comes easy, Zack; you’ve got to fight for it if the person you’re with is worth fighting for.”

I nodded, wondering if my mother would have given me the same advice had she been here. I decided she would have. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

“Good,” Miriam nodded. “Gregory, bring Zack’s order up please.”

I shook my head at her. “Have you been holding out on me?”

“You wouldn’t have stayed to chat if you’d gotten your order right away.”

I laughed and got to my feet as Gregory came out with my order. “Thanks, Miriam,” I said sincerely.

“Anytime,” she winked at me.

I left the shack, stowed the food safely away, and then headed home on the back of my Harley. I had wanted to surprise Mila with her favorite burger from the shack, and I was counting on a quiet night in her bedroom. The boys would be around today, and even though most of them knew what was happening, we didn’t like to parade it around. No one really knew what the deal was between us anyway… least of all Mila and me.

I was coming up on the clubhouse when I heard a commotion that set me on edge. There were voices raised in anger, and I could see smoke erupting from behind the walls of the house. I sped up and whizzed in through the open gates. All the boys were out, and everyone looked a little worse for the wear.

I jumped off my motorbike and ran up to Lonny, who was bleeding from the face. “What the fuck happened? Where the hell is the smoke coming from?”

“Those motherfuckers hijacked us,” Lonny said, turning around to face us. “They set fire to the garage, and when we came out to investigate, they attacked.”

“What… who?” I demanded furiously.

“The guys you always said was behind it,” Lonny said, clearly regretting ever having doubted me. “The Knights. We managed to knock one of them off his motorbike as they made their getaway.”

The boys came up around me, and I realized that everyone was a little scuffed up. I took a quick survey, and I felt my body grow cold.

“Someone’s missing—”

“Devon got shot in the arm,” Bones replied. “Red and Andy took him to the hospital. They had guns, and they caught us by surprise. We weren’t prepared for that.”

No one was addressing the one thing that was screaming over and over again in my head. “Where is Mila?” I nearly yelled.

All of the men refused to make eye contact with me. “They got her,” Lonny said when no one else spoke up. “They came for her… she came out with the rest of us when the fire started and…”

“Fuck!” I screamed.

“Devon got shot trying to save her…”

“Fuck!” I screamed again.

I turned around, found the closest thing I could punch, and sent my fist reeling into a thin tree that we were standing next to. I was breathing heavily, but I knew I couldn’t afford to lose it now. I turned back to the boys.

“You said you got one of them,” I said, through gritted teeth.

“He’s in the house,” Lonny told me. “Four of the boys are keeping a close watch on him. He got shot in the crossfire.”

“Take me to him,” I said, as I started walking towards the house.

They had him on the floor of the living room. Blood stained the floor around him, and I could see boot marks where the boys had stepped in it. The man was wearing a motorcycle jacket with the Knights’ colors emblazoned on the back. He was a heavyset man with a huge beard that covered half his face. He had an old scar across his face and several new ones on his arms.

“Who are you?” I demanded.

He was bleeding from a gunshot wound to the stomach. It had apparently missed all his major organs, however, because he was alert and looking around with uncertainty.

“Fuck you,” he answered back.

I kicked him in the leg, and he jerked and grunted in pain. I could tell that he was trying not to cry out in pain. He didn’t want to show weakness to any of us, and on another day, I might have had a grudging respect for that. But today, I just wanted to get the answers I needed and then kill him with my bare hands.

“You better loosen that jaw,” I said. “Or else you’re going to die a painful death.”

“I’m going to die anyway,” he spat at me.

“True,” I nodded, bending down to the ground so that I was at eye level with him. “But don’t underestimate the peace of a clean death. Too many people do.”

“Fuck you,” he said again.

I pushed my hand right into his gunshot wound and unable to hold it in, he screamed in agony. I pulled my hand away and punched him lightly in the face.

“Let’s try that again, shall we?” I said, with menace in my tone. “Tell me why you were sent here for Mila?”

“Why do you think?” he grunted at me. “She is his property, and you are a thief.”

“We don’t live in the age of slavery anymore motherfucker,” I shot back. “In any case… whom are you talking about?”

“Ghost.”

“Ghost?” I said, raising my eyebrows. “Walter Black.”

“That’s not his name.”

“Then what is?”

“Ghost,” he repeated.

I punched him in the face again, and this time he didn’t even bother to right himself. He lay there on the floor spread eagled and panting with pain.

“Godwin sent you?” I demanded.

“No.”

“No?” I said. “You take your orders from Godwin?”

“I take my orders from Ghost.”

I frowned. “You’re wearing the Knights’ colors.”

“There’s a new second-in-command,” he replied.

“The second,” I said, under my breath. “That’s why no one had heard of him before now.What is he really after?” I asked.

“Fuck you,” he said again.

This time, I punched him so hard, his head fell back unconscious, and I knew he would bleed out and die within the hour.

“What should we do?” Lonny asked as they surrounded his body.

“Let him die,” I said, before walking out the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Mila

 

My heart was racing. I could feel the panicked beat echoing in my eardrums, and there were moments that I actually thought I might go deaf from the sound. Calm down, I told myself. Fear is what’s getting the best of you, nothing else.

My hands were tied behind my back, and I was lying sideways in a fetal position on the ground of a moving vehicle. They had shoved me into the back of the van, and when I had tried to fight back, someone had grabbed me from behind, and another man had punched me in the face. I had lost my bearings for a second, and I felt as though consciousness was slipping away from me, but I willed myself to stay up.

The punch had taken the fight out of me, however, and that had given them time to tie up my hands and blindfold me. I could smell blood and felt a cool moisture near my forehead, and I knew I was bleeding. I didn’t feel pain though… not yet. There was just discomfort and fear for the moment.

I knew that there were at least three guys in the back of the vehicle with me. I could feel one by my legs and the other by my head. They smelt of blood too.

“Someone should call Ghost.”

“Fuck….”

“What?” someone else asked.

“We left Don behind.”

“We didn’t leave him behind. The Angels got him… there’s nothing we could do.”

“We could have gone back for him.”

“That would have put the rest of us at risk… not to mention we could have lost the girl.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to overpower us; they weren’t ready for us.”

“Then, how come they got one of our fucking men? And how come three of you are bleeding from various body parts?”

“Fuck…”

“At least we got his bitch.”

“But the leader… Zack wasn’t there.”

“Doesn’t matter… he’ll get the message.”

“Who was the one that jumped me? He seemed real eager to get the girl back.”

I felt my chest grow cold again… Devon. I remembered the moment he had lunged at the man who first grabbed me. He had almost managed to overpower him too, but that was when I heard the gunshot, and it felt like my insides had fallen right out of me.

Devon had dropped to the ground, and I hadn’t even been able to muster up a scream. My tongue went dry and even when I opened my mouth no sound had come out. When another man grabbed me and hurled me into the back of the van, I had barely put up a fight until after the doors had closed in on me, and I realized that I had to force myself to do something.

“Fuck knows… maybe he’s fucking her too.”

“Nah, he was the brother.”

“Makes sense… he nearly got her too.”

“I had it under control.”

“Bullshit, you were keeled over.”

“Setting fire to the garage was a genius idea.”

I wanted to scream. That was how they had managed to draw everyone outside. They had snuck onto the grounds and set the garage on fire. It had smoked us all out of our separate corners. I had seen the plumes of smoke waft upwards to the sky from my window, and I had jumped to my feet and looked out my window. I hadn’t seen anything but the fire. The Knights had taken cover to make sure their attack had the element of surprise. I had run downstairs screaming “fire” and all the men had rushed outside with the intention of putting out what they thought was an accidental fire.

Lonny, Red, and Devon managed to put out the small fire easily enough with three extinguishers. The boys were just about to go inside and survey the damage to the bikes when Devon had frozen in place and cocked his head to the side.

“What was that?” he asked.

His body language told everyone something was not right. Before he could say another word, the Knights had attacked, and the world had turned on its head. Everything after had been chaos. There was confusion for a split second before the reality sank in. It took me only seconds before I realized who they were and what they had come for.

My initial instinct was to search for Walter, but he was nowhere in sight. He had sent henchmen for me. I wondered if that was a good thing or a bad one. My second instinct was to look for Zack, and I searched even though I knew he hadn’t come back from his ride yet. The fight broke out almost immediately, and I remembered shouting something… it was a warning, but I couldn’t remember what. Was it possible to suffer a concussion from a punch to the face? I wasn’t sure if I was concussed or just disoriented.

Stay calm, I kept repeating to myself. I had to maintain some level of control over myself. That was the only way I was going to be able to survive. A part of me registered that as frightened as I was, I still wasn’t as scared as I would have been months ago before my training with Zack.

A part of me felt as though I still had a shot at getting myself out of this situation. I had to rely on circumstance though, too. It wasn’t enough to just be skilled. I knew I would need a little luck as well. I stayed still and listened closely as the men continued to talk around me. It was obvious that the Angels had put up a better fight than they had been prepared for. None of them were happy about having left a man behind. I wondered if it was genuine brotherly concern, or if they were just worried about the secrets their man would share under duress.

“She’s got that whole sexy good girl thing going for her,” one of the men said, and I froze in response. “Maybe we could have our way with her before handing her over to Ghost.”

“Are you fucking nuts? He’ll kill you with his bare hands.”

“It’s not like he wants her back for keeps… He’s trying to prove a point, right?”

“That doesn’t fucking matter; you touch his woman before he does, and there’ll be hell to pay. Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Geez… it was a simple fucking question.”

“And you got your fucking answer. Now tell your cock to back down or risk losing it for good.”

“Fine… I’m going to have to visit Crystal again tonight.”

“That woman’s going to bleed you dry… try Bethany. She’s good too.”

“She’s too heavy for me… I like a skinny blond.”

“It’s like fucking a twig.”

“I like twigs.”

“Figures.”

“Both of you… shut the fuck up,” an authoritative voice from the front of the vehicle said commandingly.

I felt the van speed up a little and then make a sharp left turn. I had lost all sense of time. There were moments when it felt like we had been driving for hours. I knew that in reality, it was probably like fifteen, twenty minutes or so. I kept going over all the things I had learned in training over the past couple of months. I repeated them in my head until I felt some small measure of hope.

I knew that Zack would do everything in his power to make sure he found me. I knew he would have the Angels scouring the town to get me back in one piece. But that was not the point. He had taught me how to defend myself because he wanted to change my narrative. He had turned me from the victim to a fighter, and I’d be damned if I let Walter Black or Ghost or whatever his name was change me back into the victim.

I owed it to Zack to fight back, and I owed it to myself, too. I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of holding my own and protecting myself. Relying on other people to take care of you was never a long-term solution. You had to be able to handle your own shit.

“The Angels are going to hit back with all they’ve got.”

“That’s what Ghost is counting on.”

“We’ll be ready. We can take them on… no fucking problem.”

I would have loved to see who was talking just so that I could memorize their faces for later. I wanted to know who to track down. I wanted to know who to punish. My mind reeled back to that moment when the gunshot had splintered through the air like a screech that pierced the soul. I kept going back to the moment when Devon hit the ground, and my heart burned with pain.

He had to be all right, I told myself. He just had to. Life wouldn’t be that cruel to allow me to reconnect with my brother only to lose him for good. That couldn’t be how our stories ended. Devon was young; he had his whole life ahead of him, and I would never forgive myself if…

No, I wouldn’t let myself go there. There was no point concentrating on Devon’s fate now. I couldn’t change it and thinking about it would only impede my ability to get out of this mess. I needed to stay focused and alert. I needed to use my head and my instincts, and most of all I needed to remember all that training that had been drilled into me for months now.

I was going to do myself proud. I was going to do Zack and Devon proud. I was not going to be the victim anymore. I wasn’t going to wait around for anyone else to save me. I was going to fight like hell to get myself free… or die trying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Zack

 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, turning to Devon.

“Fuck yes,” Devon nodded. “They took my sister. This is not going to stand.”

“Your arm hasn’t fully recovered.”

“The bullet got the side of my arm,” he said. “I was just bleeding so much that everyone thought I’d actually been shot.”

“You did get shot,” I pointed out.

“It wasn’t that serious,” Devon replied. “My arms bandaged up, and it’s fully functioning.”

“Doesn’t mean you can fight.”

“That’s why I have my fucking gun,” he said impatiently. “Mila’s my sister, ok? And I’m the one who swore to protect her. I have to be there.”

“We’re not going to a fucking water park, Devon,” I said. “This is Godwin we’re dealing with. It could all go very wrong in a matter of seconds.”

“I’m fine,” Devon said stubbornly.

Sighing, I nodded. I was not here to mollycoddle anyone. Devon was a grown man, and if he wanted to risk it, then that was his choice. I just wanted to get there as soon as possible. We had got a tip-off that Godwin and some of his gang would be at a local watering hole that night, and we were planning on crashing the party.

I had brought Lonny, Bones, Red, Justin, Chris, and Devon with me. I didn’t want to appear as though I was threatening Godwin by bringing any more men, but it had to be at least seven guys in case things turned into a fight. We were all packing tonight, and I knew that Godwin would be caught unawares.

It was close to midnight when we showed up. We parked our bikes some distance away, and then we walked into the pub. There were about fifteen people there in total, including the bartender. There were three or four women in the corner with a couple of guys, and the rest were all Lucifer’s Knights. I counted eight. They had one up on us if it turned to a fight, but I was confident with those odds.

As I walked in, the sound died down a little as the place became aware of my presence and the implications it held. Two guys moved aside to reveal Godwin sitting at a table with a massive mug of beer in hand. He looked like some sort of don from a movie, but it didn’t intimidate me. He just looked like an old man trying to cling to what little power he had.

It crossed my mind that there was still a slight possibility he could be my father, but looking at him now, I realized Mom had been right the whole time. Biology didn’t matter. It was about the people who were there for you from the beginning, for better or worse.

“Zack,” Godwin said, eyeing me with a smile on his face. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“I came to talk to you,” I said as I walked up to him.

His boys flanked him on either side, and I saw them tense as I approached. Apparently, they were scared I was going to kill their leader right in front of them.

“Calm down,” I said. “I’m just here to talk.”

“Well then… Please, sit down.”

“I’ll stand,” I said.

I felt my boys just behind me. Devon stood by my right shoulder, and I could see that he was casing the joint… just in case. We had been in worse scrapes than this, but the stakes had never been higher. Godwin currently held Mila, and I wasn’t willing to do anything to risk her life. Making an attempt on him now would be plain stupid. If he held Mila and I managed to hurt him in any way, her life was forfeit.

“Ok, Zack,” Godwin said, keeping the fake smile on his face. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

“A group of your men came after one of my own.”

I saw surprise flit across his face, and I wondered if he was simply a really good actor. “Did they now?”

“One of your men died on my territory.”

“Did he have a name?”

“He wouldn’t say.”

“Then how can I be sure he was one of my men?” Godwin asked with a shrug.

Right on cue, Red threw the bloody jacket we had in our possession on the floor between the two groups of men.

“Those are your colors, am I right?” I asked.

Godwin eyed the jacket with distaste. “They are my colors.”

“Then I would say that’s proof enough,” I said. “A bunch of your men attacked my home.”

“You could have killed one of my guys anywhere. How am I supposed to believe that they attacked you?”

“Because you ordered the attack.”

Godwin narrowed his eyes. “We have a truce.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“I would never break a truce without reason.”

“Maybe you thought you had one.”

Godwin leaned back in his chair. He was graying all over now… even his beard had hints of silver-gray hidden amongst the brown. I wondered for a split second if he ever thought about the overlap that occurred between my mother’s departure and my birth. Did he wonder about it too? Did he even care? I decided that I didn’t. This man was not my father, nor would he ever be.

I had hated him for the longest time. I had actually stayed up nights thinking about all the ways I could get my revenge. But now that I was standing in front of him… something had changed. Or maybe it had changed a long time ago, and I just hadn’t noticed. My need for revenge felt… hollow. I understood that killing Godwin wouldn’t make any difference to me now. My father would still be dead, and my life would still be… lonely.

Lonely? I had never thought of myself as lonely before. The thought caught me by surprise, and for a second, I spiraled before landing back on Mila. I knew I wasn’t thinking very clearly; my emotions were heightened, and I had a newfound sense of urgency.

“I don’t have any fucking reason to break this truce,” Godwin shot back at me. “I didn’t order a hit on your men. What would it serve me to kill one of your own?”

He seemed disgruntled about something, and I started to realize that maybe I hadn’t been completely right in my assumption of the situation. First, Godwin had said he hadn’t ordered a hit on my men. He hadn’t referenced a woman at all at this point. The thing he said that caught my attention was he mentioned a kill attempt. He had said nothing about abduction, which was actually the case.

Was it possible that Godwin had nothing to do with Mila or Walter Black or any of this? We had proof that the Knights were involved in this. All the men that had stormed the clubhouse had been wearing their colors. So either Godwin was pulling off some master plan, or there was a break in his club somewhere.

“Who is Walter Black?” I asked.

“I don’t know a Walter Black,” Godwin replied impatiently.

He looked back at his men questioningly, and he was met with equal confusion. No one had heard the name before, which meant it was definitely an alias.

“What about Ghost?” Devon asked, stepping forward. “Any of you heard of him?”

That ignited a reaction, and I knew we were getting closer. Obviously, that was a name they recognized, including Godwin. He looked a little tired, and he sipped his beer like he was trying to avoid answering the question.

“Who is he?” I asked.

“He’s my second,” Godwin replied at last.

I nodded. “He’s the new second.”

“Yes.”

“Are you saying he ordered this?”

Godwin took another swig of his beer. “Ghost… has a mind of his own most of the time. I should never have made him my second. He tends to have an impulsive streak.”

“He’s taken my sister.”

“I’ve been hearing noise about this woman for the past few weeks now,” Godwin said tiredly. “Is that who she is?”

“Your fucking second abducted her,” Devon said, taking a step forwards.

I put my hand out to stop him coming any further. “Easy,” I whispered to Devon. “We need to stay calm.”

Godwin was watching us closely, but I sensed that he wasn’t in the mood for any of this to escalate. I kind of got the feeling that he was past the fights and the turf wars and the violence that came with this life. He didn’t know anything else, however, so he was bound by obligation and necessity to stay with his club until the last. Obviously, he still had a group of men who were loyal to him.

“If Ghost ordered the abduction, then he did so without my orders,” Godwin replied. “He’s been a little out of control lately.”

“Apparently,” I nodded. “You used to have better control over your men, Godwin.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, but he didn’t take the bait. “Control is a young man’s game, it seems. And I no longer have an interest in controlling this club.”

“What kind of leader says that?” I demanded, shocked that he would admit that out loud.

“The dying kind,” Godwin replied. “I have only a couple of months left to live, and I’m not going to spend it trying to reign in a young buck with a reputation to build. He wants this woman…. your sister… then I’m not about to tell him he can’t have her.”

I clenched my jaw. He was dying. That made sense. It explained his disinterest in all the politics that were going on. He was preparing for death, and in doing so, he had distanced himself from life. A part of me almost felt pity for him, but I realized I had got the revenge I had craved. Not only was he dying, but he also knew it was coming soon, and he had no choice but to sit and wait for it.

“You didn’t know his plans then?” I asked.

“I had no fucking clue,” Godwin said.

“Why should we believe you?” Devon demanded.

“I don’t give a fuck whether you assholes believe me or not,” he said impatiently. “The only thing I’m interested in is drinking myself to death before the cancer kills me.”

“Fine,” I said. “You’re dying, and you want no part in this feud.”

“Smart boy.”

“I’m still going after your second.”

“Be my guest,” Godwin said, raising his beer glass. “And may the better man win.”

“Where is he?” I asked.

Godwin downed his beer mug and smashed it on to the table. Then he started laughing. “What makes you think I’m going to tell you that?” he said. “I may not have ordered his actions, and I may not have known about them, but I’m certainly not going to out him. After all, he’s still my man.”

I looked closely at his eyes, and I realized that he was bluffing. He had lost complete control of the man they referred to as Ghost. Not only had he not known about his plans, he didn’t even know where he was. Ghost had split the Knights, and probably more than half of them were loyal to him now. Godwin was just a figurehead who was wasting away right in front of them. He would be dead soon, and then Ghost would be in charge.

We had to move fast, not just for Mila’s sake, but for the town’s sake too. Ghost hadn’t rallied his men yet; the Lucifer’s Knights were split down the middle. He was still just the second trying to gain respect and rule by fear so that when Godwin did die, his word would be law. He hadn’t fully mobilized yet, and that meant this was the perfect time to strike at his power base so that he couldn’t rally after Godwin’s death.

I turned to my men. “Let’s go,” I said. “We’re done here.”

The moment we were back outside, Devon got in my face. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked. “We could have beaten the location out of that old fucker.”

“It wouldn’t have done any good,” I said. “He doesn’t know where Ghost is.”

“How do you know?”

“It was in his eyes,” I replied. “We’re going to have to find this fucker on our own.”

“It might be too late by then,” Devon said.

I looked him in the eye. “Don’t underestimate your sister. She’s stronger than you think she is.”