Chapter Twelve
Mila
The training ring was empty today, and I took advantage of the peace and quiet. I had come to genuinely enjoy training, and sometimes I would sneak in on my own to train by myself for a little while. With each passing day, I felt stronger, more confident, and more in control. A lot of it had to do with Zack’s training, but it was also more than that.
It had been three days since Zack had barged into my room and demanded that I tell him why I had freaked out on him and run. We had been avoiding each other a little bit, coming together only for training sessions and going our separate ways immediately after.
That conversation I had had with him had opened my mind up, however. In the aftermath of it all, I had sat on my bed and had an epiphany. I had only been making excuses, hoping he would buy one and leave, but in the process, I had stumbled across a few unpleasant truths. Everything I had told Zack was the truth. I was attracted to dangerous men, and a huge reason for that was because I believed they would protect me.
I had hung my hopes on men my whole life, and they had always and unfailingly let me down. In fact, they had done more than just let me down. They had used me and abused me and taken advantage of my trust. Now I realized that I couldn’t count on anyone else; it was up to me to take control of my life and to protect myself. I needed to stop looking to others for protection, and I needed to start protecting myself.
This realization had set off a burning new determination inside me, and whenever I had a spare minute, I would train. I would read up on fighting skills. I would go over my weak points and my best moves in my head until I was dreaming of daggers and defensive positions and fancy kicks.
If Zack noticed my new zeal for training, he didn’t mention it. It seemed he was also preoccupied with his own shit, and I wasn’t about to pry. I had my secrets, and he had his, and neither one of us were ready to share just yet. That much was obvious.
“Hey.”
I turned in the direction of the voice and found Devon standing there by the ring, observing me with a look that suggested he was surprised to see me there.
“Hi,” I replied, relaxing my position and walking towards him. “What are you doing here?”
“I asked where you were, and the boys pointed me in this direction.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I thought I’d get in a little extra training.”
“By yourself?”
“Why not?” I asked. “I’ve been reading up too… so I have more teachers than just Zack.”
Devon nodded, and he looked a little thoughtful and amused at the same time.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s just… when I first brought you here, I thought you’d be a fish out of water. And you were… at first. But now… look at you.”
I actually looked down at myself. “Why… what do I look like now?” I asked.
“You look like you belong here,” Devon pointed out. “You look like you could be part of this lifestyle. Which is only funny because you hate it so much.”
I frowned. “I don’t… hate it.”
“No?” Devon asked, with raised eyebrows.
I smiled as he entered the ring and sat down by the ropes. I joined him on the floor and set my dagger down. “Well, there are aspects of it that I still don’t like much,” I admitted. “But I think living with your guys these last couple of weeks… it’s made me realize certain things.”
“Like what?”
“Like maybe this kind of living isn’t all about fights and violence and big dick contests with rival clubs,” I conceded. “There’s a sense of camaraderie and brotherhood that even I can feel. You guys band together for each other. You guys are there for each other.”
“That is the point,” Devon nodded.
“I guess I just didn’t get it because I had only the stereotypes to fall back on,” I said. “And maybe… I was being a little judgmental.”
“A little?” Devon asked, raising his eyebrows.
I laughed. “Ok, fair enough. I was really judgmental. But I’m man enough to admit that I was wrong.”
Devon nodded. “I wish that I had some good news to tell you,” he said. “But unfortunately, we still haven’t been able to dig up anything on Walter Black… or whoever his real name is.”
“It’s so weird,” I said, shaking my head. “I went to the police right after he almost tried to kill me. The cop kept me waiting for hours, and when he got back to me, he said that Walter had already cleared out of the apartment.”
“That’s when you decided to call me?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “It didn’t feel like the cop I spoke to even wanted to help me.”
“He didn’t,” Devon said. “He wanted to help the other guy.”
I frowned. “Walter?”
“It’s the only explanation that makes sense,” Devon nodded. “How else would Black have known to have clear out so soon after you left? By the time I went by his apartment, he had disappeared completely. The cop you spoke to would have tipped him off.”
“But how—”
“Half the cops have been bought by Godwin,” Devon told me. “And you stumbled across one of his guys.”
“Fuck,” I sighed. “Just my luck.”
“I wish you had called me first without going to the police,” Devon said. “We handle our business without getting the cops involved.”
“It’s not like they’re much involved anymore,” I pointed out, to which Devon nodded. “But in any case… I didn’t think I could call you.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were never exactly close, Devon,” I pointed out.
“Fuck that,” he said. “We’re family. Family doesn’t have to be ‘close.’ We still show up when the shit hits the fan.”
I smiled and nodded. “I’ll remember that the next time. In any case… I think we qualify as close now.”
“You think?” Devon asked, with a small smile.
“I think so,” I nodded, bumping into him from the side in a gesture of familial affection.
His smile grew a little wider. He may have been my brother, but there was so much I still didn’t know about Devon. There was so much I hadn’t even bothered to ask him because I had been so wrapped up in my own shit.
“Devon?”
“Hmm?”
“Where do you go when you’re not here?”
Devon glanced at me. “Home,” he said.
“You live close by?”
“About fifteen minutes away,” he replied. “I have a tiny apartment in a very uncool neck of the woods. I would have let you stay there, but it’s too cramped. Plus staying at the clubhouse gives you more protection.”
“Do you…have a girlfriend?” I asked tentatively, wondering if he would share with me.
He smiled. “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” I asked, immediately interested.
“Her name is Jessica,” Devon replied. “We’ve been seeing each other for about six months now.”
“Six months?” I repeated. “That’s quite a while.”
“It didn’t get serious until recently.”
“She knows about your lifestyle?” I asked.
“She does,” Devon nodded. “And she was a little… ambivalent at first. But I’m easing her into it. I think she was more scared about having her kids exposed to such a rough way of living.”
“She has kids?” I asked.
“Two,” Devon replied. “A son and a daughter. Mika’s four and Chrissy’s five. Their father left them high and dry right after Mika was born. Jessica’s raised them by herself from the very beginning. Her mother helps a lot, but she’s done most of the heavy lifting on her own.
“Sounds like a tough chick.”
“Definitely,” Devon nodded, and I noticed how his eyes brightened when he spoke about her.
“I’d like to meet her one day,” I said. “No pressure though.”
Devon smiled. “First, we find Walter Black,” he said. “Then I’ll make introductions.”
I nodded, satisfied with that promise. “So… do you think you’ll marry this girl?” I asked.
Devon hesitated for a moment. “I never thought about myself as the marrying type. It’s not always conducive to this kind of lifestyle.”
“Lonny’s married,” I pointed out.
“Lots of the guys are,” Devon said. “Well, maybe not a lot… but a decent amount comparatively. It can be done… I just, it takes a very specific woman to sign on for this.”
I nodded. “True.”
“Jessica is… very important to me,” Devon said. “And I do hope we have a future, but… it’s complicated.”
I sighed, as I thought of my own complicated personal life. “I get that,” I nodded, with sympathy.
“So… what’s the deal with you and Zack?” Devon asked.
I hesitated, taken off guard with the question. “I… um… what… there’s no deal with Zack and me,” I said, tripping over my own words so much that it didn’t sound convincing at all.
“If you remember, I walked in on the two of you making out the first night we brought you here,” Devon reminded me.
I groaned. “We weren’t making out,” I said defensively. “And that was… taken out of context.”
Devon laughed. “Can a kiss be taken out of context?”
I sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Obviously.”
“He’s completely wrong for me,” I said, trying to convince myself at the same time. “In every single way, and the two of us definitely don’t have a future together… not that Zack even wants a future with me.”
“But you do?” Devon asked.
“What?”
“You just said that Zack doesn’t want a future with you,” Devon pointed out. “You never mentioned yourself.”
“Didn’t I?”
“Nope.”
“Well I meant to,” I said quickly.
Devon was looking at me pointedly, and I could tell that he didn’t quite believe me. “I’m attracted to him, ok?” I said. “I don’t want to be, but I am. But I was attracted to Walter, too, before I realized he was a complete and total psychopath. I need to stay away from men who are bad for me.”
“Fair enough,” Devon nodded. “But you should know something about Zack.”
“Ok?”
“He’s persistent, and he’s smart about it. He plays the long game,” Devon told me. “If he sees something he wants, he will keep at it, till he gets what he wants. And from what I’ve seen… he seems to want you.”
“Not really,” I said, and I tried to keep the disappointment from my tone. “He wants to sleep with me. That’s about all he’s interested in, and I’m willing to bet anything that once he does, he’ll lose all interest in me.”
Devon paused for a moment. “That is his pattern,” he confirmed.
I had been expecting that answer, but it still hurt a little to hear it. “Zack has earned my grudging respect,” I told Devon. “He’s a strong leader and a skilled fighter. And I appreciate the fact that he’s given me his protection and his expertise in fighting. But he’s not getting anything more from me that I’m not willing to offer. Just because he wants me doesn’t mean he’s going to get me.”
Devon nodded. “I believe you.”
I bit my lower lip and turned my eyes down to the floor. I was glad that Devon believed me because there were moments when I found it hard to believe myself. It was harder than anyone knew for me to resist Zack, especially when it was clear we both wanted the same thing. But I needed a man who would understand certain things about me. I needed a man who could be tender and loving and understanding, and I was pretty sure that Zack was not capable of that.
“Wanna show me what you’ve learned so far?” Devon asked, breaking through my train of thought.
“Sure,” I nodded, jumping to my feet and blocking out everything else.
Chapter Thirteen
Zack
“Well?” I asked, immediately after Devon and Bones walked through the door. “Did you speak to the informant?”
“We never got a chance to,” Devon replied, and I realized he looked pale and angry.
“What happened?” I said urgently, standing up and walking towards them.
“Someone got to him before we did,” Bones replied. “His throat had been split.”
I froze. “Fuck.”
“It’s definitely Godwin and his men.”
“No shit,” I said, through gritted teeth. “What was the point of killing him?”
“He said he had information to give us on Walter Black,” Devon replied. “Apparently Godwin didn’t want us to know that information.”
“Looks like I’m not the only one barking for revenge,” I said. “He’s doing his best to piss me off.”
“He’s still going to claim that we were the ones who broke the truce first,” Bones pointed out.
“How?”
“We stole away one of their women.”
My eyes bulged. “One of their women?” I repeated. “Mila’s Devon’s sister.”
“I don’t think they’ll see it that way,” Devon said. “Mila was Walter’s girlfriend, and the truce was built on the agreement that neither club goes after any of the other’s people.”
“Family beats any other relationship any day,” I said. “Mila’s connected to the Fallen Angels through blood. How the fuck is she connected to Walter?”
“You know how the Knights are about their women,” Bones said, and I felt my fists clench.
“I know,” I replied darkly.
“Do you have a game plan here?” Bones asked. “Are we just going to continue to make noise and try to smoke this guy out? Or are we going to take a more direct route?”
“What would be a direct route?” I asked with a frown.
“Orchestrate a meeting with Godwin.”
“Fuck that,” I said immediately. “I’m not meeting with that fucking asshole. None of you are to approach him or any other members of his crew… Understood?”
“Understood,” Devon nodded.
Bones looked a little unhappy, but he nodded finally.
“Are you so ready for a fight?” I asked him.
“He’s a threat to all of us,” Bones responded. “And by lying low and waiting for him to make the first move, we’re putting ourselves in the weaker position. We’ll be forced to go on the defensive.”
“And we may live longer for it,” I said. “Godwin has more men than we have.”
“But we have stronger fighters.”
“We think,” I pointed out. “We haven’t gone head to head with any of them since the truce, and that was years ago. We barely know their set up anymore. We heard months ago that he lost his deputy, his second-in-command, but we don’t know who he was replaced by. We can’t go on the offensive when we don’t know what we’re getting into. For all we know, Godwin has been planning this for months.”
“Zack’s right,” Devon said, stepping in. “We can’t afford to be stupid about this. Half of the men have wives and kids. We have more to lose than the Knights. They’re all soulless assholes who live only for themselves.”
Bones grunted in reluctant agreement and headed towards the door. “I’m going for a ride,” he said before disappeared outside.
I turned to Devon. “Keep asking questions,” I said. “Godwin needs to know we’re not scared of him.”
“Where’s Mila?” Devon asked.
“Around,” I said with a shrug. “She doesn’t give me a play by play of what she’s up to.”
“How’s her training going?”
“She’s learning fast,” I replied. “She’s doing well.”
In truth, she was doing more than well. The first few days of training had been slow and difficult. She had been dismissive and uninterested, but then something inside her seemed to have changed. It was like something had lit a fire underneath her, and she was now more determined than ever to be able to defend herself. She was in the training arena more often than I was. She trained with me, by herself, and with anyone else who was willing to give her a few pointers and a little advice.
She had become almost deadly with that dagger of hers. It was a shiny blade with an engraved hilt that my father had given me when I was thirteen. I had never expected her to take to it like she had, and now it felt more like her blade than mine. No one really used real blades or weapons when we fought against each other, but I had wanted Mila to get used to the feel of this particular dagger in her hand. I had wanted it to feel like an extension of her body. Given how good she had become lately, I was thinking of making her switch to a sparring weapon. Either way, there was something incredibly sexy about Mila in the boxing ring, fighting with my men.
She had come a long way in a short time. She looked confident, powerful, and in control. I saw the burn in her eyes, and it was a huge turn on. The only problem was that she refused to give in to me. No matter how fiercely I tried, she would push me away with a word or a look. She was still attracted to me, that much was clear, but she was resisting it and resisting it hard.
I knew it had something to do with her reaction to our close call the other day. My hand had slipped down her pants, and she had freaked out, pushed me off her, and ran without looking back. She tried to explain it away by saying that I was wrong for her and she needed to stay away from dangerous men, but I had recognized it for the excuse it was.
With each passing day, I was growing more and more frustrated. Even jerking off in my room wasn’t helping. My mind was focused on one thing, and that was how best to convince Mila to sleep with me. I hated having her on my mind constantly. I hated waking up thinking of her with a raging hard on that was so stiff it was painful. I hated sparring with her in the training ring, knowing that I couldn’t grab her, throw her down, and have her right then and there.
“She’s enjoying the training,” Devon said.
“I think she has a point to prove to me,” I said.
Devon smirked. “I don’t think she’s trying to prove anything to you,” he said. “She’s trying to prove something to herself.”
“And you know this because?”
“She told me as much,” Devon replied. “It’s not all about you, Zack.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Is that your subtle way of telling me to stay away from your sister again?” I asked, catching on.
“She’s got enough to deal with without having to fend off you as well.”
“Let’s be clear about this,” I said, lowering my tone dangerously. “Your sister’s a big girl. I think she can handle herself. And more importantly, I have the right to fuck whomever I choose… whether she’s your sister or not. Who knows… maybe I’ve already fucked her?”
I saw Devon’s jaw clench, but he stayed calm. “I know you haven’t.”
“Excuse me?”
“You haven’t slept with Mila,” Devon replied. “She told me.”
I kept my expression neutral, but I realized that the siblings were closer than I had initially anticipated.
“She did, did she?”
“Yeah.”
I felt my guard drop for a moment as my curiosity got the best of me. There were questions I needed answered, and since I wasn’t getting them from Mila, maybe Devon was my best remaining option.
“Did she tell you about the time we were rolling around in the boxing ring, ready to fuck each other silly when she freaked out and ran out on me?” I saw his expression freeze for a second, and I realized that Mila hadn’t told him that much. Feeling slightly smugger about it, I continued. “Why do you think she freaked out?”
“How the fuck would I know?” Devon asked uncomfortably. “She probably couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping with you.”
“Trust me, that wasn’t it,” I scoffed. “She wanted me… But something happened. She looked for a second almost like she was… scared.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Devon said in irritation. “I don’t really know about my sister’s sexual preferences. Nor do I want to.”
I smiled at his discomfort. “Hey, you’re the one who brought up the topic.”
“This was not the fucking topic,” he said, through gritted teeth. “You want to know why she ran from you… here’s a thought: ask her.”
Then he turned tail and zoomed out before I could ask him any more uncomfortable questions. Chuckling to myself, I decided to go for a little spin on my Harley. It had been a long time since I went out for a ride just for the sake of it. I wanted to drive fast down a highway and experience that incomparable feeling of freedom that you could only truly appreciate on the back on a motorbike.
I was making my way to the garage when I noticed Mila in my peripheral vision. She was walking fast with her back to me, and her head turned down. Frowning, I followed her, wondering where she was heading. She walked far enough away that the clubhouse and the garage weren’t close by, but she was still on the premises. Then she found a smooth rock underneath the shade of a tree and sat down there.
I stayed behind trees and watched her carefully. I couldn’t see her face very clearly, but from what I could see, she seemed a little upset, even sad. I wondered if I should just give her a moment and leave her alone, but something about the way she was staring off into the distance made me want to talk to her and ask if she was doing ok.
A part of me acknowledged the fact that it was completely out of character for me to even care about Mila’s moods, but lots of things had changed since she had entered the clubhouse. I was forced to admit that to myself as I walked up to her. Mila saw me coming, and she seemed to tense up a little. Then she wiped at her face awkwardly, and I wondered if she was trying to conceal tears.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” she responded. Her voice definitely sounded a little pinched as though she were emotional about something.
“Everything ok?”
“Fine,” she replied curtly. “I just wanted to be alone. Apparently, that didn’t work out so well.”
I raised my eyebrows and nodded. “Fine… sorry to disturb you.”
I turned my back on her, but she called after me almost immediately. “No, wait, Zack,” she said. “I… you don’t have to go.”
I turned back to her slowly, and after a moment I went and sat down beside her.
“I guess I just felt a little frustrated all of a sudden,” Mila volunteered. “And it hit me out of the blue and… I guess I just needed some space.”
“What hit you out of the blue?” I asked.
She sighed. “What am I even doing here, Zack?” she asked, gesturing towards the clubhouse. “I’ve been here a couple of weeks, and I have no idea when I’ll get to leave.”
I didn’t like the thought of her leaving. I shouldn’t have felt that way, but there was no denying that I did.
“I quit my job because I was so scared to go to work one day and find Walter out front waiting for me,” Mila continued. “It wasn’t like it was a great job or anything, but it was something to do. At least I felt marginally useful. But here… I’m not doing anything—”
“You’re training,” I reminded her. “You’re learning how to defend yourself.”
Mila shrugged. “I know, and that’s the one thing that keeps me going. But the fact remains… Walter’s still out there, and I can’t move on with my life until he’s found. I can’t leave here till he’s found. I don’t know… sometimes I just feel like I’m going stir crazy, sitting here day in, day out waiting for news that never comes.”
“You have to be patient,” I said.
“I miss my old life,” Mila said fervently. “Actually, scratch that. My old life wasn’t that great. But I do miss my freedom. I miss being able to go out whenever I wanted. I miss being able to go for dinner or a movie or… even a walk around the block.”
Before now, it hadn’t even occurred to me how horrible it must be to be confined to one place, terrified to step out of it even for a moment. I put myself in Mila’s position, and I felt my whole body rebel at the idea of being contained the way she had to be.
“We’ll find Walter Black,” I said. “And then you’ll get your freedom back.”
Mila smiled sadly. “I hope so,” she nodded. “But there’s a possibility you might not find him at all.”
“That’s not—”
“There is a chance,” Mila interrupted me. “It may be a small chance, but it exists, and I have to be prepared for it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I may have to leave town,” Mila revealed. “And go somewhere new… somewhere nobody knows me. Somewhere I can start fresh.”
I felt a sinking feeling in my gut as I pictured Mila packing her bags and walking away. It shouldn’t have hurt me… but it did.
Chapter Fourteen
Mila
Red pinned me to the ground and laughed. He obviously thought he had won the fight, but he was cocky and careless, and I took advantage of that. With one move, I had escaped from his hold, kicked him to the floor, and suddenly I was the one on top.
The men standing around the ring hooted and cheered at the unexpected turn of events, and I could feel Red struggling to right himself.
“No chance, kid,” I laughed at him. “I’ve got you this time.”
I counted to three, and then Bones called it. I was the victor, and the men went wild with cheers and applause. I heard Red curse furiously as I let him go, and he got to his feet, flushing with embarrassment. I glanced at him to make sure his pride wasn’t too bruised, and he gave me a tentative smile that was tinged with admiration.
“How the fuck did you manage that?” he demanded.
“First of all, I took advantage of the fact that you obviously underestimated me,” I said. “Second of all, I took advantage of your weaknesses.”
“I don’t have any weaknesses,” Red said immediately.
I laughed. “Oh, that’s right. Is that why you won the fight? Oh, wait…”
The men laughed, and Red cursed again. “Well, I’ll say one thing for Zack… he trained you well.”
“Please! You should see her with Zack’s blade,” Lonny said. “She’s deadly with that thing.”
I followed Red out of the ring as the men looked at me with new respect. I had to admit, it was a heady feeling, and it made me feel like if Walter walked into the training ring right now, I would be able to take him out easily. I knew that was simply my ego talking, but it was nice to imagine all the same.
“I thought that blade looked familiar,” I heard Red say. “Didn’t John used to use it?”
That caught my attention, and I listened more carefully as the men spoke.
“Yeah, it was John’s… it’s like a family heirloom or whatever.”
“Fuck, that can’t be true.”
“Nah… but it has been passed down from father to son at least two generations back,” Bones clarified. “It’s small, so he figured it would be easy for Mila to use.”
“Yeah, that and he wants to get in her pants,” Red sniggered.
I came a little closer, and Red caught sight of me. “Oh… didn’t see you, Mila.”
“Where did you think I went, Red?” I smirked at him.
“Dipshit,” Lonny said, smacking him in the back of the head. “Don’t pay attention to him, Mila.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I never pay attention to Red.”
The men laughed, and I took a sip of water, but my mind was elsewhere. Was it true that Zack had given me his father’s blade? That was a pretty significant gesture… right? But he did have a complicated relationship with his father, so maybe it wasn’t as sentimental a gesture as I was interpreting it to be.
“Are you staying the night today?” Red asked, looking over at the other boys.
“We’re going riding tonight,” Lonny told him.
“Hey, nobody told me,” Red complained.
“Yeah… and most people take that as a hint.”
“Fuck you!” Red said.
I laughed and left the boys to their antics. I went upstairs and had a quick shower in my tiny little bathroom. I put on sweats and collapsed onto my bed. My body was tired, but my mind was wired from the workout. I was supposed to have training with Zack this morning, but when I had walked into the training arena, he was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he had sent word that he had errands to run and he had told some of the other guys to train with me. I had to admit; I had been a little disappointed. I didn’t mind training with the other guys, but it wasn’t the same as it was with Zack. And lately, the two of us had been getting along a lot better.
Apparently, when Zack let his guard down long enough to speak to me like a human being and not just a piece of meat, we actually managed to find some common ground. We actually managed to hold conversations that stuck with me days after. I hadn’t seen him the whole day, and I kind of missed him. For a second, I wondered if he was off with some random woman, and my stomach turned at the thought.
“Dear God,” I whispered to myself. “I hope that’s not true.”
I knew I had no right to hope such a thing. Zack had every right to see other women. He had every right to fuck other women. Especially since I’d made it very clear to him that I wasn’t about to sleep with him. But still, jealousy burned inside me. Even if he weren’t with anybody right now, he would be one day. Maybe leaving was the best option for me no matter how this thing turned out with Walter.
This experience, living with the crew had changed me. It wasn’t immediately evident, but I knew that the moment I tried to go back to my old life, I would feel its effects. The only thing I really missed was my freedom. Sometimes being in the clubhouse felt like an open cage.
I was just thinking about Zack and where he might be when I heard a knock on my door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s me,” Zack replied.
I jumped to my feet and moved quickly to answer the door. Zack stood there, taking up the entire doorway with his impressive size. He was holding a large bag, and he pushed past me as though he didn’t want anyone else to see what was inside it.
“Where have you been all day?” I asked. “I thought we had training together.”
“We did,” Zack nodded. “Something came up.”
“Is it about Walter?” I asked.
“Uh… no,” Zack replied, and I wondered why he looked so awkward. “Actually, this has nothing to do with Walter.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t seem to know where to begin. Finally, he replied by shoving the bag at me. “Here,” he said, by way of explanation.
“Please tell me Walter’s head is not in here?”
He almost smiled. “Just open it.”
Thoroughly confused, I opened the bag and peered inside. There were a couple of dresses hiding inside, and my confusion increased. “These are clothes,” I said.
“Yes.”
“Why are you giving me clothes?” I asked.
“Well, remember when we were talking yesterday by the tree?” Zack asked.
“Yes?”
“Well I just thought that you might benefit from an evening out,” he said. “You can get dressed up and experience a little freedom.”
“Oh,” I said, shocked and touched by the gesture.
“The thing is… with Walter on the loose, I can’t really let you go out on your own…”
“Ok?”
“So I’ll come with you,” Zack replied. “Just so that you’re protected.”
I felt a smile come on, but I held it back. It almost sounded like this was his roundabout attempt to ask me out on a date. Given what had happened between us in the training arena, this was the last thing I had expected from him.
“Wow… I… this is a surprise.”
“I just thought you might like it,” Zack said quickly. “We don’t have to go if you’re not into the idea.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m into the idea. You have no idea how nice it will be to get out.”
Zack nodded. “Ok then… we’ll leave at eight?”
“Sure,” I nodded. “Sounds good.”
Zack stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then he turned and walked out of my room. The smile broke through across my face, and I closed the door feeling buoyant. I knew it was silly of me to get so worked up over a casual night out, but I wondered if this was Zack’s way of swallowing his pride and treating me like I wanted to be treated.
“Slow down, Mila,” I told myself. “This might be exactly what he says it is.”
I opened the bag and pulled out the dresses that Zack had brought me for. There were three choices, and I studied them each carefully. The first dress was extremely sexy. It was a figure-hugging black strapless mini with an open back and cut out details on the side. The second dress was much more conservative. It was a pale, sea green dress with see-through sleeves that fell to the elbow.
The third dress fell somewhere in the middle. It was sexy without being overly obvious about it. It was a red off the shoulder mini dress that was fitted in the waist and chest and billowed slightly from the hips. I was immediately drawn to the red dress, and I held it up to my body, noticing that Zack had got the right size for me.
Impressed with his selection and the fact that he had brought me three dresses to choose from, I glanced at the clock. Eight o’clock was still an hour away, but I was so excited that I started getting ready immediately. I went to the bathroom and did a little last-minute grooming, making sure my eyebrows were plucked and my hair was all right.
Then I slipped on the red dress, and it fit like a glove. The mirror in my room was small and grainy, so I couldn’t exactly get a good view of myself, but the little I did see looked good, and I felt instantly more confident. I also realized that the last few weeks of training had changed my body somewhat. It was leaner and stronger. My stomach was flatter and more defined, and even my arms looked good.
I applied just the faintest touch of lipstick and rouge, choosing not to overdo it just in case Zack interpreted that as real interest. Then I paired the dress with my black jacket and my favorite pair of black boots that could be dressed up or down.
I stared at my grainy reflection in the mirror and took a deep breath. I knew my feelings for Zack were fast growing, but I couldn’t seem to rein them in. I decided to see how tonight played out. If a physical relationship was the only thing that Zack was after, then it would become evident soon. And if not… then I would have to cross that bridge when I came to it.
The clubhouse was empty as I walked downstairs. I was thankful for that because I didn’t want to have to deal with the stares and the questions from the other guys. I suspected that Zack felt the same way too.
No one was downstairs, so I walked outside, and the moment I took a step out of the door, Zack zoomed in on his massive Harley, taking my breath away. He looked extremely impressive on the back of the colossal motorbike. There was something very seductive about seeing a man who knew how to handle a powerful machine. Zack was dressed in his dark denim and a leather jacket that made my heart do a little flutter. He looked better than a movie star, and for a second, I actually hoped that this was a legitimate date.
“Hop on,” Zack said revving his engine.
“We’re going on your bike?” I asked.
Zack smiled. “Scared?”
I shot him a glare. “Please,” I said, rolling my eyes as I walked towards him.
Considering the dress I had chosen was a mini, I could easily hike up my leg and get on the back of the bike, behind Zack. I wrapped my hands around him and nodded. “Ok,” I said. “I’m ready.”
“Here,” he said, passing me a helmet.”
“You’re not wearing one,” I pointed out.
“I don’t need one,” he said cockily.
“Why?” I demanded. “Because you’re invincible?”
“Sure.”
I shook my head at him. “Don’t be ridiculous… wear a helmet.”
“I ride better without one,” he said stubbornly. “Now put on the helmet.”
Clenching my jaw, I did as I was told, and Zack took off immediately. I felt my heart flutter as we left the premises and headed onto a main road. The moment we were clear and there was only open space and unending road ahead of us, Zack picked up speed, and I felt cold wind smash against my face. It was like the hardest yet the most intoxicating kiss I’d ever experienced.
There was nothing gentle or tender about the wind as it smacked against my face, but there was something also extremely liberating about traveling at that speed. At first, I felt a little pang of nervousness because of how fast Zack was going, but then I relaxed when I realized he knew what he was doing. He was confident and sure of himself, and he didn’t take any unnecessary risks. Even the speed was completely in his control. At least that’s how he made me feel.
The longer we rode, I felt my body growing accustomed to the ride. I could feel my soul screaming in delight at the brilliant sense of freedom that I had longed for all these weeks. At that moment, I felt invincible too, and suddenly I understood it. I understood all of it. This was the whole point of the club. This freedom was what everyone who joined was after. Because once you experienced that kind of freedom, how could you go back to mundane, everyday life? How could you go back to a life of tradition and convention? This was real living.