“I won’t be long,” Jayden promises me. “We’re just going to find out what’s going on at the station…”

“I can go alone if you’re really freaked out,” Tommy offers. “It’s only to find out information…”

“No, please, you go.” I smile thinly. “I’ll be fine. You’ll only be an hour or so. I can take a shower in peace.” No one looks convinced enough for my liking. “I’ll lock the door. I won’t even leave the room.”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Jayden’s eyes are filled with panic. “I don’t like this at all.”

I rub his arms reassuringly. “I will be fine. I can be by myself for a little while, honestly. This motel is out in the middle of nowhere anyway. No one knows that me and Pippa are here. Even if Bryan is out there looking for me, there’s no chance in hell that he’ll come here. I’m safer here than anywhere else.”

He doesn’t look impressed, so I act on impulse and push myself up onto my tip toes to kiss him. It isn’t until Pippa gasps loudly next to me that I realize what I’ve done. We haven’t exactly discussed keeping us a secret, even from our best friends, but it’s made a lot of sense since I’m married. At least for now.

“Oops,” I giggle and I smack my hand against my forehead. “Silly me.”

“Is something going on here?” Pippa is blown away, but she doesn’t look pissed off which I decide to take as a good sign. I know she would be usually, but no one knows my full situation better than her. “Oh, wow.”

“I’m sorry.” I hang my hands loosely in Jayden’s. “I know this might seem a bit wild, but it’s been ten years in the making. Bryan has been horrible to me anyway, what we share isn’t a marriage.”

“Oh no, I know that and I’m glad about this…” Pippa points between us both. “It’s just a shock, that’s all. But a good shock. Like, it’s awesome. After everything you’ve been through you deserve happiness most of all.”

I smile at Pippa. Loving her acceptance of me and Jayden. Unfortunately, Tommy doesn’t look like he feels the same way. I suppose I can’t blame him. This is all a bit much and since he’s Jayden’s best friend I’m sure he has a view of what happened in the past, but I don’t think that will put him off. Only we know what we share.

“Okay, well on that bomb shell,” Pippa chuckles. “I have to get to work and you boys need to get out and back as soon as you can to sort out Savannah. I don’t want you leaving her alone for too long.”

“Yep, of course.” Jayden pulls back away from me but I don’t miss the long, lingering look he gives me. “I’ll see you soon, Savannah. You take care of yourself, okay and keep me up to date.”

I roll my eyes and grab a towel. “Sure, I’ll let you know when I’m out of the shower. Although you might be back before that since I intend to stay in there until the water runs cold. I have to pass the day somehow!”

They all leave regretfully, darting looks at me as they go, but I simply smile and wave as they go. It isn’t until the door shuts behind them that I let my true fear out. I am scared about being alone, truly terrified, but I can’t let them know that because I don’t want to slow down the investigation because I have to be babysat.

“It will be fine,” I mutter quietly to myself. “I’m going to be okay. They will be out an hour at most.”

I spin on my heels and head towards the shower, truly intending to follow through with my plans. I need to get into that water and let it relax me until all these worries flow away. Okay, so I might not be able to get rid of all of them since I still don’t have Peter with me, but I can become less of a jittery mess.

I flick the television on as I move into the bathroom and flick it to a music channel. The song playing on the station isn’t one I recognize but I hum along regardless. Out of tune, out of rhythm, just to create noise. I need sound more than anything right now, the silence is what’s killing me. I can’t stand it. I don’t want to jump at every single little bump that runs through the room. Especially in this motel where it’s all noise.

I flick the shower on and bring it to life. The trickle of water isn’t high enough to relax all of my muscles, but it’s a start. At least I can still hear the music over it, which is something. I touch my fingers under it until it gets hot enough for me to brave stripping off, then I peel the clothing bit by bit. As I do, I imagine it’s Jayden’s hands doing all the work again, just like he has been the past couple of times. I smile to myself, glad that I now have some actual knowledge to back up my fantasies. I know how good he feels now. He feels amazing.

I’m in love with him, that’s for sure. I definitely know it now, and it’s good that I’ve told him as much. It’s also better that he feels the same way about me. Sure, it’s going to be a long old road if we ever intend to be together, but we know how hard it is to be apart from one another now. We’ll fight to be together. We know now that our love is worth battling hard for and I honestly think we can do it. If we make it out of this.

I grab a bottle of shower gel and step into the water. I squirt a big glob of it on me and I slide my eyes closed to day dream about Jayden while my hands work all over me. He makes me insatiable, I feel like I can’t get enough of him even when he isn’t here. The fact that it’ll be about an hour before I can even touch him again is too much. So, I take things into my own hands. I slide my own fingers down my body and I rub my slit as the water rushes over me. My heart hammers against my rib cage as I find my clit and my breaths come out ragged and desperate. I play with my nub hard and fast, loving the way that it feels. It’s intense.

“Oh, Jayden,” I mutter to myself, thinking of only him. “Jayden, Jayden.”

I use my other hand to knead my breast, I lose myself in the incredible sensations, my body is buzzing with flames. He lights me up, and even the thought of him is enough to get me going. I soak my fingers with my juices as I flick hard and fast. My body contorts, my legs turn to jelly, I can barely keep myself upright as the pleasure races through me, rolling over me in powerful shocking waves.

“I want to be with you, Jayden,” I murmur to the vision of him in my mind. “I don’t ever want anyone else. Only you. I want to be yours forever more. I love you, you’re mine, I’m yours, I love you.”

The love flows intensely through me along with the orgasm, it rockets and shakes me, making me cling onto the shower wall just so I don’t fall. It floods me completely, and I let it consume my entire body.

Once finished, I make some more decisions in my brain. I can’t get too hung up on what my dad is up to anymore. That’s his business, not mine. If he wants to be an asshole criminal, just like my husband, then so be it. I don’t have to be involved. It doesn’t even need to change my memories of him. I don’t have to let him go just because he’s into something dodgy. I can just push that to one side and simply remember who he once was.

Once I have Peter I’m going to go and be with Jayden wherever his life is now. I’m going to forget about all of this, push it to one side, and live my life. I haven’t been happy for far too long so now it’s time to finally just be that. Other people have happiness, they’ve searched for it and found it. Why shouldn’t I?

I grab the shampoo and wash my hair quickly with a smile on my face. I feel like today is going to be a really good day. Once Jayden and Tommy return we can decide what to do next, what mystery to unlock. I hope they get something from the station, I really hope they somehow manage to find out what happened to the Rice brothers. Tommy seems to have some magic charisma even more powerful than Bryan, so I think if anyone can do it, it’s him. Then we’ll have something else to go on with which is awesome.

I step out of the shower and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Even with my face and body still dripping with water and my hair sticking to my face, I look lighter, happier, more beautiful, actually. I haven’t ever been the sort of person to consider myself pretty, but now I have a lot more confidence in me.

“Ooh, hello?” I call out as I hear a clicking sound. “Jayden, is that you?”

Either he didn’t take long at the station or I’ve been forever in the shower. Either way is possible, so I grab some sweat pants and drag them on, then I shove a tee shirt on too. I don’t bother with a bra because I don’t think I’ll have it on for very long. The way I’m feeling today I’ll be naked in a heart beat.

“Hold on, Jayden, I’m just coming.”

I drag my fingers through my soaking wet hair like a brush and I smile at myself. Then I practically skip out of the bathroom into the bedroom, just to find it empty.

“Oh.” I pout, disappointed. My wet hair is dripping onto my tee shirt, soaking my nipples. They are hardening underneath the material, begging to be touched, but the man I want to touch them isn’t here. “Okay.”

I swing my hands by my side feeling a bit silly now. I don’t quite know what to do with myself. I grab the remote control and switch the television set to a close for a start. Then I breathe deeply, wondering how I can most effectively use my time. There has to be something I can do…

“Oh…” Footsteps again. This time they’re definitely in the room. I spin around wildly. “Jayden, this seems like a really ill-timed joke. Can you just show yourself already? I’m getting freaked out here.”

But there’s nothing. Maybe there aren’t even footsteps in the room. It might even be my heartbeat hammering against my chest. I might well be sending myself cray right about now for no reason.

“Maybe I should turn the TV back on again,” I mutter to myself. “The quiet is all too much.”

But just as I hit the button on the remote and sound fills the room, something else happens. A bang rings out, and I feel a blinding white hot pain in the side of my face. My body tumbles, I can’t seem to stop it, I fall to the ground as everything pinholes. A blackness fills my vision, I lose all control of everything around me.

This is the end, my brain unhelpfully pops up. This is the moment I die.

He has found me.