I glance my eyes around the room, feeling like I’m in trouble just for being in a police station. I’m sure my flushed red cheeks must be making me look guilty, but I haven’t even done anything. I’m the victim here, for help not to be interrogated. I’ve done everything relating to the statement anyway so I’ve done everything that needs to be worried about. This is purely a meeting for the police to catch up with me.

“So, Savannah, how are you feeling?” Officer Turner asks me with a smile. “Are you better now?”

“I’m doing well, thank you. Everyone is doing much better these days. It’s good news all round actually.”

“And Jayden is doing well? I know that he was struggling to walk for a while? Is he improving yet?”

“He’s still on his crutches.” I smile to myself knowing how much he hates those things, probably because they make him seem weak. In his mind anyway. To me, he will always be a hero, and to my son too. “But he’s doing much better every single day. He’ll be back on his feet properly in no time. He’s strong. Inside, and that’s coming out now. With Tommy encouraging him in his own special way, he’s becoming himself again.”

I don’t know what that means for me and him to be honest, when he does get better and he returns to the army. I presume since we’re so much in love that we’ll find a way to make it work, but I can’t be positive. I guess that’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get to it. After everything that we’ve been through, I’m trying to live in the moment.

“Well, that’s just wonderful. I’m very happy to hear it. I know that you’ve all been through a very traumatic experience so it’s good to see you all getting back on your feet. Have you thought about any more about therapy?”

“Therapy?” I narrow my eyes, knowing that I don’t need it There’s no way that I’ll be able to talk to anyone again after what happened last time. My period in the facility has traumatized me. When it comes to therapy anyway. “I actually don’t think that will benefit me. I don’t want to talk about what happened again, I just want to focus on moving forwards.” I smile serenely at Officer Turner. “I’m actually thinking about getting back to college soon, to finish off what I started a decade ago. I want to finally get that English qualification.”

“Oh, I think that would be really great for you. A positive start again. Of course, you do know that you’re going to have to go over everything again when it comes to trial? Considering who the defendant is, we’re going to need all the evidence possible. That will require you to be on top form. You’ll have to remember everything.”

“Oh, trust me. I might be wanting to move past this but I won’t ever forget any of it. I’ve been through hell with Bryan. Not only did I have this traumatic kidnapping thing with him, I had all the lies when it came to Peter, he told me that my child was dead and forced me into a mental health facility. Then there were the years of fear and cheating beforehand. Every single bit of that is lodged permanently into my brain. Ready for the day when I can be heard in front of a jury and I can let my story be known. I’m more than ready for it.”

Determination floods me. I do go through waves of fear. I panic that people might fall for Bryan’s charm even in the witness box. Especially if he has a lot of character witnesses supporting him, but I need to forget about him in that moment and see it as my chance. It’s my time to get it all out. Like a purge, get some closure finally.

“Yeah, I can imagine so. And to be perfectly honest with you, even with the ‘not guilty’ plea, it’s going to be a very strong case. With all the evidence provided by everyone, especially with everything that your father has given us, it’s going to be quite straight forward. Let’s just hope we get a good jury on the day.”

I nod thinking about my father. I haven’t had anything to do with him ever since the incident. He’s around, he sees Peter a lot, but I haven’t given him a chance to speak to me. I’m sure he knows that I’ll let him eventually which is why he isn’t pushing it too hard, but I haven’t been ready so far. Today is different, today I might.

“Yeah, well that’s good news,” I mutter idly while twiddling my thumbs. “Everything will help.”

“Good, well I just wanted to go through some paper work with you if you have the time?” She pulls some pages out. “That’s what I brought you here for today. Nothing too taxing, just some bits and pieces…”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll do whatever you need me to. But I don’t want to stay for too long because I’m going to see my father. I haven’t had much to say to him until now, I’ve held on to a lot of anger. It’s time to let it go.”

Officer Turner gives me a smile. “Yes, I think that would be a good idea. He cares about you a lot.”

I lean back in my chair and think about before Bryan, back when Mom was still alive, back to when life was much happier. I know we can’t ever go back to any time period that has come and gone, the chance for that is dead, but we can move forward and get something new. We can start from scratch, if I let us.

“Okay, well since you have such a busy afternoon then we should get on with it. I don’t want to hold you up.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with Peter for a little while longer?” I ask Jayden anxiously into the phone. “I just want to talk to Dad now while it’s in my mind, you know? I don’t want to talk myself out of it again.”

“We’re fine. He’s having a great time playing football with Tommy at the moment. I did try to join in for a while but I got too tired too quickly. And Pippa will be back from work soon anyway, so it’s all fine.”

I nod slowly and accept this. I honestly don’t know what I would do without all of these amazing people in my life. They’ve been incredible, a real little family around me. Now, I want to bring my dad back into this.

“Thank you again, and I’ll give you a call once I’m done here to let you know I’m on the way back.”

“I look forward to it already. Good luck, Savannah, I hope that it all goes well.”

I hang up the phone and stare up at the door with nerves darting through my body. I haven’t been to this house feeling calm in a very long time. Hopefully, this will be the day to change that.

Just do this, I give myself a little pep talk as I stand in front of the door. It’s going to be fine.

I suck in a couple of deep breaths and I raise my shaking fist. It takes a couple of moments, but soon I bang on the door with my heart hammering against my sternum as I do.

“Oh, my goodness.” My dad gasps as he opens the door. “Savannah, you’re here.”

“I am.” I nod slowly. “I’m here to talk to you. Sorry it’s taken me so long.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize. I understand why it’s taken a while. I’m surprised you’re here now.” He steps back and indicates for me to come inside. “Come on, I’ll put the kettle on.”

“Yeah okay.”

This time as I walk through the house, I look at every picture on the way past. There’s me and Mom, me and Dad, Mom and Dad, and sometimes all three of us. We really were the perfect family before everything fell apart. Mom dying really changed everything for the worst, for all of us. I’m sure she would be absolutely gutted to know this. I feel like we owe it to her to make something of this. To really have a try.

“Oh, look, Dad. Remember this. The day at the shore? A few months before Mom died?”

He gives me a sad smile. “Yes, I remember it well. That was a wonderful vacation, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was.” I run my finger down Mom’s image on the picture. “A real lot of fun.”

Dad sighs and brings the kettle to life. “I’m really sorry that I messed everything up. I know that I did so much wrong and I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t ever get past it.”

“I want to get past it, Dad, I really do. I don’t want to be mad forever. It was just hard for me to see past what had happened to Peter. With everyone telling me that he was dead it was so hard for me.”

“I’m sorry. If I was totally sure that Bryan hadn’t killed him I would have told you, but he had me on tenterhooks and I honestly wasn’t sure what way it would go. If he died, I thought it would be easier for you to believe that it had been a car accident rather than Bryan. Also, I was scared that he’d kill you too.”

I nod and accept this. I might not necessarily agree with what he’s done and the choices he made, but he did what he thought was best. “The only way we can get past that is to know that we’ll always be honest now.”

“Oh, of course. I would never make the same mistake again.”

“Good. And I think I might have to hear the whole story. From start to finish. I need to hear everything that Bryan told me from your point of view so I can work out the truth, okay? And I don’t want you to sugarcoat it at all. Whatever it is, I can handle it. I should have proven that to you now.”

“Yes. You’ve proven to me that you’re stronger than I ever gave you credit for.” His head hangs low, I can see him struggling with this. “I’m sorry that I didn’t put more trust in you before.”

He makes us both a hot drink and he sits them down in front of us. I take mine and have a big swig, drinking the coffee down rapidly. It burns the back of my throat, but I don’t mind. I need that stark wake-up call. This is going to be a long afternoon where I finally unravel the last bits of the puzzle. Then soon, it will be over.

“Okay, Dad, I’m ready to hear it now. I would rather learn it all now than in the court-room.”

“Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want you to find out that way either. Have you got the time now?”

“Peter is with the others. I have time. And maybe I can even give them a call to bring him here.”

“Well, let’s see how this goes first.”

My dad makes a little bit of a joke about it, which does make it oddly easier. My face bursts into a smile and nods along with him. “Yes, you’re right. Let’s see how this goes first. Then we’ll move forwards.”

At last… that’s what I’m aiming for. It’ll take a while for me to get my future without Bryan but it’s in the distance now, slowly coming closer to me every single day. I can’t wait until I can finally grab hold of it and have it as my own. I need it now, and I want it to include the man sitting right in front of me.