“Yeah, okay, thank you, Pippa.” I don’t like the way her words make me feel, but what can I do? I can’t fight this, it isn’t my right to. “Thank you for keeping me up to date, please let me know what happens.”

“I know you don’t like it, Jayden, I don’t much either, I hated having to say anything to Bryan. It might even make sure that Savannah doesn’t ever trust me again, but she needed help. The one good thing about Bryan is the money he has. He’s afforded her the best treatment around. It’s residential too, so she’s in a place of peace.”

I don’t like the image in my brain of Savannah tied up in one of those coats you see on mental patients in jokey cartoons. I still don’t think that’s fair, but since her son clearly isn’t alive anymore she does need to be somewhere safe where she can come to terms with things. It sucks, but I suppose it’s for the best.

“Yeah, okay.” I rub my forehead hard. “I just hope it works. I want her to be better again.”

“So, what are you going to do now? I’m just sorry that you came all the way here…”

“Oh, I don’t mind. I would do anything for Savannah.” There’s no point in lying to Pippa. She knows all too well. “Still, even now after all this time. I think I’m just going to head back to the barracks.”

“Get back to normal life, huh?” she asks wryly. “Back to… whatever it is you do in the army.”

I honestly don’t think that my life will ever be normal again. Spending this very confusing time with Savannah has only churned everything up and made me really messy. I don’t feel like myself at all. I can hardly even imagine myself back at work, acting like all of this hasn’t happened. It feels totally alien to me.

“Yeah. Something like that. I’ll come back if Savannah needs me. Or even if she wants to see me. You will tell her, right? Just… let her know that she can call me whenever. I’ll still do what I can for her.”

“Of course. I’ll call you. And thank you, Jayden. I know this has all been nuts. But thank you.”

“Yeah, it’s okay. I might see you soon, Pippa.”

The way I say goodbye feels like it’s forever, and I kinda feel like it might be. I don’t know if Savannah will want to see me again when she’s back to herself, and I don’t know if I can hack it either. I feel horrible by not saying goodbye to her, it feels all wrong to go without a trace, but that’s what I have to do I’m afraid. I’ll have to ignore every instinct inside of me screaming that it’s all wrong. I don’t have any choice. There’s no telling how long Savannah will be in there, it could be a long time.

“See you soon, Jayden. Goodbye.”

I sigh and hang up the phone, then I stare at the garage in front of me. I have a damn head light out, as if fate is trying to tell me that I shouldn’t go. But once it’s fixed, I really will be out of here. I suppose while it’s getting fixed up I should call Tommy to tell him that he was all too right, although not in the right way.

“Hey!” I call out, trying to get the attention of someone inside. “Is anyone there?”

“Yeah.” A gruff guy comes out of the shed like building, wiping his oily hands on a rock. “You good?”

“I just need a new head light for my car.” I point behind me at my slightly shitty vehicle. I do need an upgrade, I just don’t use my car enough to make it worthwhile right now. “Is that something you can do?”

He peers behind me and looks at the car, popping his gum at the same time. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. Let me just see if I have the right part out back.” As he walks off he calls behind him, starting up a conversation that makes me think I should follow him. “So, you headed anywhere interesting today?”

“Erm…” I walk quick to join him. “Yeah, I’m just headed home…”

“Oh right, I see. You not from around here then?”

He walks past an expanse of land that I didn’t notice before, filled with car parts and cars too.

“No, I’m not from around here. You got lot going on here, right?” I chuckle. “You fix up all sorts of vehicles, right?”

“Oh right, yeah. I do it a bit.” He smiles. “I guess I’m a bit of a hoarder. I keep all the parts in the thought that one day they’ll come in handy. Sometimes they do. I’ve saved my customers money a lot of times.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” I peer up onto my toes. “You have some nice vehicles here. Quite the collection.”

All of a sudden, I see a sight that makes my heart stop dead in my chest. My mouth goes completely dry as I see a big black van, one that looks a lot like the one Savannah described to me.

It can’t be. I shake my head rapidly. I’ve already decided this hasn’t happened. I can’t change my mind now.

Plus, black vans aren’t exactly rare, are they? I’m sure there’s more than one in the world. What I need to do is turn away from this and pretend that I haven’t seen it. Not because I want to ignore it but because I don’t want to get myself excited all about something that isn’t going to happen. It’s not real, it can’t be.

“Ah got it.” He flashes a head light at me. “Shall we go and fix up your car?”

I nod, but I can’t move. My limbs are frozen to the spot. I can’t move them however hard I try. I can’t turn my back on this, I can’t ignore it, it’s going to eat me alive if I don’t at least take a look at it.

“That’s a nice van,” I rasp out, already certain that my guilt is shining through. “Does that work?”

“Oh yeah.” He nods. “A local lad named Hank Fry brought it in a couple of months back. It’s like, brand new, it works so well and he asked me to crush it. Can you believe that? Crush this beauty?” He moves closer to it, allowing me to follow him. My heart thunders painfully in my rib cage as I walk on the shakiest legs ever. “I was going to do something with it, but to be honest I might as well just sell it as is. The only thing wrong with it is a few scratches in the paint work.” He runs his fingers along the paint and on the wheel arch I see a very familiar scratch. One that makes me feel all buzzing inside. “It’s just a little beaten up, nothing wrong with it.”

The photograph that Savannah showed me flashes up in my brain and I swear it’s the same scratch that I’m seeing here. I’m trying desperately not to get myself carried away but I’m too sure. I feel certain.

“Can I, erm… take a look around inside, do you think?”

I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I feel compelled to try. There probably won’t be any evidence, but something might give me an idea. I already feel stuck here now, I don’t know if I can leave.

“Yeah, sure. You thinking about buying it? It’ll be a big difference from what you currently drive.”

“Yeah, I know. But maybe, I mean, everyone needs a big black van, don’t they?”

He unlocks it and I climb inside, my heart racing and pulsing. I can feel a snake of fear tearing through my body. My head pounds as I glance around but it just looks like an abandoned empty van. There isn’t even a spot of blood or anything on it. Nothing to suggest that a poor boy was dragged inside.

But I’m still not convinced that it didn’t happen. I might be even more sure that it did now. I just need to find a way to connect the owner of this van to Savannah’s husband and the mystery might well unravel. Just as I was about to give up on her and this place and leave forever. Thank God for my broken headlight! Fate it sure is.

“So, erm, did the owner, Hank…”

“Hank Fry.”

I need to remember that name! It’s a person of interest, someone I really need to find to take this investigation further. Because I can feel that familiar magnetic pull in my chest. I’m not going anywhere. Not when all of this is going on. I might not be able to access Savannah right now, but I can still help her.

“Yes, did he say that the van has ever been involved in an accident or anything? Because that can cause internal issues, can’t it?” I smile thinly. “I don’t want to buy something that might cost money later on. I don’t think I know enough about vans to take on a project.”

“Oh no.” He shakes his head firmly. “And I have checked it over. No sign of an accident at all.”

There’s no way a van could mount a side walk, hit a woman and kill a child without causing some damage to itself. So maybe Savannah is right about it all. that’s why no one was caught, why the ‘funeral’ happened without her, why she has all of these memories that are different to what her husband says.

“Oh, right okay. Well, erm, I better go now but I might be back to pick it up.”

“But I thought you didn’t live around here.” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“Oh well, actually… I think I’m going to stick around for a little while longer so I’m sure I’ll be back.”

“I need to do your head light though.”

I grab the light from him and toss a bill his way. “It’s okay, I’ll do it thanks.”

Without waiting for even another second, I dive into my car and speed off quickly. I grab my cell phone and dial Pippa’s number again. I put it on speaker phone and wait impatiently for her to answer.

“Jayden?” She sounds confused. “Is everything okay?”

“No, it isn’t. I need to speak to you again. Can you meet me?”

“What’s happening? You sound really freaked out?”

“I’m okay, I think… I just think I might have found something.” I rake my fingers through my hair as distress races through my system.

“What do you mean something?”

“Something that suggests Savannah might be right. I think her son might still be alive.”

She’s silent for a while before she gasps nosily. “Are you serious? Do you really mean it? Fucking hell and I’ve just sent her off to an institution. What the hell? And you think Bryan might be involved?”

“I don’t know, but this isn’t a normal situation. We just have to… to find a way to make it work now. We need to make it right. I’m headed to the motel to get a room again because I’m going to stay but then will you meet me? I think we need to talk about this to come up with a plan, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll meet you. We need to get Savannah the fuck out of there!”

Once she hangs up the phone I cry out loudly to myself. I cannot believe that I almost drove away from all of this, I almost left Savannah to deal with this alone. I must be the worst person ever. I need to make sure that I do better for her from here on out. I need to make this right.

I have to find her son.