Chapter Sixteen
Alex
After Cam left the ER, I went to find Liz. Leslie had been gone looking for her for a long time, and I'd started to get worried. As I walked down the hallway toward the pharmacy, Liz rounded the corner looking much better than she had a few hours before.
"Are you okay?" I asked with genuine concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Liz said, waving me off as she looked down. I could tell she was embarrassed, but I had no idea what had happened. "Just wasn't feeling very good earlier."
"That's bullshit and you know it," I said, grabbing her arm and forcing her to look at me. "What's going on with you, Liz? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, Alex," she said, looking very apologetic. "I don't know what's going on, I just felt incredibly tired."
"Liz, if you have a problem..." I began not knowing how to say what I was about to say. "If you have a drug problem, I can get you help, you know."
"Me? A drug problem?" Liz said incredulously. "Jesus H. Christ, Pierce, not you, too!"
"What? You were acting strange, Liz!" I shot back as she moved away from me crossing her arms over her chest and setting her jaw.
"I don't have a drug problem," Liz said again. "I thought you were my friend."
"I am your friend, and if you have a problem, I'll help you," I pleaded. "Just tell me what's going on!"
"Go to hell, Alex," Liz said as she wiped angry tears from her cheeks before turning her back and walking away.
"What did I do?" I shouted after her. "I just want to help!"
I threw up my hands and walked back to the ER where Leslie cheerfully informed me that my shift was over and I was free to go. I went to the locker room to gather my things hoping that Liz would be there so we could talk about what had happened, but she was gone. Her locker was open and empty, and as I pulled on my coat, I wondered if I should pick up breakfast and take it to her place as a peace offering.
"Hey, Alex," Leslie called as she ran after me hold the gold box containing the roses Cam had brought. "Don't forget your flowers!"
"Oh, yeah, thanks," I said, taking the box and tucking it under my arm.
"You okay?" Leslie asked. "You look a little down."
"I'm fine, just worried about Liz," I admitted. "There's something wrong and she won't tell me, but we always tell each other everything."
"I'm sure she'll tell you when she's ready," Leslie reassured me.
"But what if it's too late?" I asked, "What then?"
"I'm sure if she needs help, she'll ask," Leslie said as she turned and headed back inside to the warmth of the ER. "If you need to talk, I'm here!"
I trudged home through the snow, deciding to skip breakfast and sleep. I was supposed to go out with Cam at seven, and I'd been awake for more than twenty-four hours. I shoved the image of Violet Metzler hugging Cam out of my head, and by the time I got home, it was all I could do to shed my scrubs, set my alarm, and fall into a deep sleep.
I woke up before my alarm went off, and for a moment wasn't sure where I was. The sun had set and the streetlight cast strange shadows on the wall of my bedroom. I grabbed my phone and saw that Cam would be picking me up a couple of hours, so I got up and made a cup of coffee as I ran a shower.
The caffeine and hot water combined to jolt me out of my sleepy state, and I decided that I wasn't going to start the evening by being mad at Cam for what Violet had done in the ER. I'd been tired and worried about Liz, so I'd read more into Cam's interaction with Violet than I should have. Besides, it was me he'd brought the flowers to, not her.
I wound my hair into a loose bun at the nape of my neck and swept black mascara on my lashes and a bit of red lipstick on my lips before I slipped into a form-fitting, little black dress that had a deep v-neck and a pair of black, patent leather stilettos. The overall effect was quite sexy, and I smiled as I looked at myself from all angles in the mirror next to the front door.
Cam arrived a little while later and let out a low wolf whistle when I opened the door. He looked handsome in a grey suit that was obviously custom made since it emphasized his wide shoulders and cut in at the waist. He'd shaved, and although it looked like he'd made an attempt to tame his wild, rust-colored curls, they defied him.
"You ready to go eat?" he asked as he helped me with my coat.
"I'm starving," I said. "I hope this place serves big portions!"
"Well, we're not leaving until you're full, that's for sure." He smiled.
We drove to Grace over on Randolph Street where Cam handed over the keys to the truck to the valet after making sure I'd made it safely to the door. The hostess led us into the dining room and seated us at a quiet table off to one side. I looked around, awed by the fact that I was inside this beautiful place that was so in demand that reservations had to be made months in advance.
"How did you get a reservation here for tonight?" I asked as I looked over the menu.
"I've got some friends in high places." Cam smiled as he gave the waiter our drink order. He looked back at me and said, "Actually, a friend of mine already had the reservation, but he had to cancel, so he offered it to me."
"Ah, I see, so Violet's friendly greeting had nothing to do with this?" I said with a playful smile on my lips.
"I'm sorry about that, Alex," he said in a tone that was far more serious than I'd expected. "I don't know her at all. I know of her father, but we're not close or anything."
"It's okay, Cam," I said as the waiter brought our drinks and told us about the specials. We ordered before returning to the topic at hand. "I had other things on my mind this morning, and Violet, as a rule, gets on my nerves."
"I can see that," he said, holding up his glass. "Well, let's put it behind us and toast to a wonderful dinner and another nice date, shall we?"
I lifted my glass and clinked it against his, smiling as I brought it to my lips. Cam grinned as he changed the subject, and we ate until I thought I would burst as we talked about our career plans, politics, and the Cubs.
"So, what was it like growing up on the South Side?" Cam asked as he dug into a dessert that looked almost too beautiful to eat.
"Probably like anywhere else," I said, trying to figure out how to change the subject. I avoided talking about my childhood as much as possible because it wasn't a pretty story and I didn't want any pity. "It had its ups and downs, but mostly it was just a lot of looking ahead, you know?"
"That's pretty general," Cam said as he watched my expression then quietly said, "My childhood was rough, too."
I stared at him across the table for what felt like an eternity, but was probably a minute at most. I debated whether to let him in or tell the sanitized version of my upbringing. It was his smile that tipped the balance.
"Rough has its benefits," I said, holding his gaze. "And I turned out okay."
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it," he said as he finished his dessert. "I get it. I don't talk about mine much, either. But sometimes it's good, you know?"
"I was bounced around between relatives from the time I was a toddler," I said without looking away. "My parents both disappeared by the time I was ten, and then my mother showed up years later, when I was a senior in high school. She was sick and had nowhere else to go, so I nursed her until she died. We tried to get along, but she was someone who was used to being in charge of sick people. Her illness made her angry and mean. I've made peace with it, though. I'm on my own and free to decide what makes me happy."
"Sounds like a hell of a trade off," Cam said as the look in his eyes softened. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Alex.”
"Don't you dare pity me," I said.
"Wouldn't dream of it," he smiled. "Besides, you're not the kind of woman who really inspires pity. You're pretty tough, even if you do come in a package that is soft and beautiful."
"Oh my God, did you just say that out loud?" I laughed as the tension was broken and I suddenly felt at ease again. There was something about Cam that challenged me, but also made me feel like everything would ultimately be okay.
"I believe I did." He grinned as he stood up and held out his hand. "Would you like to head out now?"
I nodded as I took his hand. All I wanted was to be alone with him, and as we waited for the valet to bring the truck around, I said so. Cam looked at me with a questioning expression to which I replied, "Yes, I'm sure."
Neither one of us said a word the entire drive. Cam simply reached over and rested his hand on my leg. I slipped my hand under his and laced my fingers through his as he pulled into the parking lot. He put the truck in park and turned to me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, squeezing my hand.
"I'm fine," I said, looking into his eyes. "I just really want to be alone with you right now."
"Your wish is my command," he said as he got out of the truck and came around to open my door.
Once inside my apartment, I slid out of my coat and wrapped my arms around Cam's neck, pulling him to me so I could kiss him hard and deep. He seemed a little surprised by my bold move, but quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around my waist as he returned my kiss. I slid his jacket off and then unbuttoned his dress shirt as he slipped my dress off of my shoulders leaving us both naked from the waist up.
His skin was warm against my breasts, and his strong arms pulled me closer until I felt as if I were going to melt into him. I pressed myself against him as I quickly unzipped his pants and pushed them down to the floor. Cam looked at me with wide eyes as I leaned against him, forcing him back against the wall of the entryway. My hand roamed his body, moving lower until I felt his stiffness pressing against my hand.
"Alex..." he moaned as I slid my hand down inside his shorts and ran my fingers down the sensitive underside of his shaft.
"Mmm hmm," I hummed as I began slowly stroking him. I could feel both of our bodies vibrating with the need. Cam pushed the hem of my dress up over my hips before he slipped his fingers into the waistband of my panties and tugged them down until they dropped to the floor. I reciprocated as I pressed my body against his.
"Alex, I..." he groaned as he shifted.
"Shhhh," I whispered as I let go of his shaft and reached around to pull open one of the drawers in the hall table. Inside, there were a stash of condoms and I pulled one out, ripped the package open with my teeth, and quickly unrolled it on Cam's erection. His eyes were wide as I smiled, and in an instant everything shifted.
Cam grabbed me and lifted me up on to the hall table where he positioned himself so that he could tease me with the tip of his shaft long enough to make me cry out and beg him to push it in.
"Mmmm, you like that, do you?" he growled as he pushed the tip in and then stood perfectly still for a moment waiting for me to beg again.
"Cam, please, please!" I begged as I reached around and grabbed his firm cheeks and tried to pull him deeper. He resisted until I was moaning as I begged, and then in one swift thrust, he slid all the way in and waited. I thought I was going to lose my mind as he pushed deeper before slowly pulling back. The sensation drove me out of my mind and I looked up to see him smiling as he held himself back.
"Cam, please! I can't take this!" I cried as he did a few shallow thrusts that made me even wetter than I'd been. And then he plunged back inside me. I moaned loudly as I pushed my hips forward to meet the increasing speed of his thrusts and he pulled back and plunged in again and again.
Soon we were moving together, pushing each other closer and closer toward the edge as we ran our hands over bare skin and shared brutal kisses. I wanted to take him all the way inside me and his pounding rhythm matched my own need. It wasn't long before I felt the wave of orgasm begin to flow, and I screamed into Cam's lips as I climaxed. He wasn't far behind, and I felt his body tense as he joined me.
"Are you okay?" Cam whispered as we both caught our breath.
"Mmm hmm." I nodded as I clung to him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off of the hall table, carrying me to the bedroom where he laid me down.
"Be right back," he said, making a beeline for the bathroom.
When he returned, he lay down next to me and pulled the covers up over us both before pulling me to him. I lay there wondering what to say as he rested his chin on my head and slowly stroked my hair.
"That was intense," he said. "You sure you're okay? You haven't said a word."
"I'm speechless," I said, tilting my head to look up at him. "You're something else."
"Alex, what happened to your parents?" he asked out of the blue. "You started to tell me, but you shut down, and I really want to know. I mean, if you want to tell me."
"Oh, man, that's something I hate talking about," I admitted. "It's a total downer, I'm not kidding. I never met my father. When I was nursing my mother, I tried to ask her about him, but all she ever said was that he was an asshole rich kid. I’m sure that he probably had his good points, but she was an angry woman who resented her entire life."
"I'm not pushing," he said, backing off a bit. I appreciated the space, but something made me want to tell him the whole sordid story.
"My mom was a poor girl from the South Side," I began. "And my dad was a rich Gold Coast kid with a nasty drug problem. That should probably say it all."
"I see." Cam nodded as he squeezed me a little tighter.
"No, I don't think you do," I said, bristling at the possibility of pity. "She fell for him. He loved her and drugs, in that order. They started using together, she got pregnant and had me. They neglected me, and Social Services intervened. Years later, she got clean and had a career as a nurse, but she never let go of the anger and resentment she felt. She had wanted the kind of life my father’s money could have bought, and when she didn’t get it, she was furious."
“What about your dad?” he asked. “Didn’t you ever want to meet him or his family?”
“His family disowned him after he got my mother pregnant, and he overdosed in an abandoned building on the North Side a few years after I was born.” I shrugged. “It took me a long time to make peace with the fact that he didn’t care about us enough to get clean.”
"What about family?" Cam asked.
"What about it?" I said defensively. "Her family was poor and struggling and his didn't want anything to do with a bastard child of a drug abuser. I became a ward of the state at two, bounced around from foster home to foster home until I was placed with my mother, but by the time I was sixteen, I’d filed to become an emancipated minor. I took the money from the state and got a room in a boarding house and finished high school. I was smart and made sure I got a full ride when I applied to college. I failed the first year, but then I figured out how to access the resources I needed and asked for another chance. I'll graduate in June and be on my own with a good job. End of story."
"Don't you want to know more about your family?" he asked as he twirled a lock of hair around one of his fingers.
"Not really," I said. "My mother's family has made it clear that they have no interest in me, and my father's family has kept a safe distance for many years, even though they really could have pulled me out of the system at any time. I blame them the most; they could have changed things, but they chose not to. That's the reality of rich folks: they can do a lot, but they choose to ignore everything."
"Is that what you think about rich people or just your father's family?" Cam asked.
"I think there are probably a lot of rich people with good intentions," I said. "But you know what they say about the road to hell."
"Wow, that's tough," he said, shaking his head. "What would you do if your father's family came and tried to help you now?"
"I'd tell them to go to hell," I said without missing beat. "They aren't my family and I certainly don't need their money now. Money just screws everything up."
"I see," he said as he went silent. "All money? Or just your father's money?"
"Pretty much all money," I said. "It does something to people. I don't know, it's just my feeling. I mean, look at your friend, Violet."
"She's not my friend," he said. "I told you, I don't know her. I'd never met her before she accosted me at the hospital. I know her father through a friend."
"I'm know, I'm sorry," I said, backing away from the accusation. "I'm just saying that she and her friends all come from money and they are some of the nastiest girls I've ever met. They're just mean and vicious to everyone, and they're so concerned with keeping up appearances."
"But that can't be representative of all people with money," he said, pushing his point.
"Why? What are you trying to tell me?" I said defensively. "I'm just saying it's been my experience that people with money tend not to be very nice or caring."
"Maybe you just haven't met the right people," he murmured as he pulled me closer and kissed me. "You never know."
I lay there in his arms long after he'd drifted off to sleep. It felt good to be this close to someone, but it also scared me. I fell asleep telling myself not to be so afraid.