Chapter Ten
Alex
It was three days before I talked with Cam again. Between his schedule at the firehouse and my school and work schedules, we had trouble finding time when our free time coincided. He wasn't very good about texting, but then neither was I, so we contented ourselves with the odd phone call here and there and joked about our old school dating style.
"We're taking this back a couple of decades, you know?" I laughed as I walked over to Liz's apartment to pick her up for class. It was a cold morning and I could see my breath as I chatted with Cam.
"Yeah, but what was so bad about the nineties?" he asked. "I mean, all that hair and synth pop, it was cool."
"You're weird." I laughed harder. "Were you into that stuff?"
"Nah, I'm a classic rock guy myself," he said as I heard the overhead speaker announce a call. "Sorry, gotta run! Talk to you later!"
"Be careful!" I called as the line went dead. I quickly covered the block to Liz's apartment and pressed on her buzzer. When there was no answer, I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.
"Wha…what?" Liz said in a sleepy voice that told me she was nowhere near ready to leave for class.
"Liz, it's Alex! Get up, you're going to be late for class!" I yelled into the phone. Two seconds later, the door buzzed. I yanked it open and ran up the flight of stairs to Liz's apartment where the door stood ajar. Liz was fumbling with her clothes in the bedroom as she tried to get ready as fast as she could. I stepped into the kitchen and was dismayed to find dishes piled high in the sink and nothing but beer, sparkling water, and a couple of chunks of moldy cheese in the fridge.
"Liz, when was the last time you shopped for food?" I called out.
"Dunno," she said. "Few weeks ago?"
"What are you surviving on?" I asked as I turned on the tap and tried to get some hot water in the crusty dishes.
"Granola bars and whatever I can scrounge at work." She shrugged as she opened a cabinet and revealed several boxes of granola bars stacked on top of one another.
"This is not healthy," I said, shaking my head. "We're going to have to change this situation this afternoon, you hear me?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Liz nodded as she looked at me through glassy eyes. "Whatever you say. Do you have any aspirin? I got a migraine coming on, I think."
I dug in my bag and produced a bottle of ibuprofen and poured two into her hand. She proceeded to pop them in her mouth and swallow without drinking anything.
"Liz, are you all right?" I asked, feeling concerned about my friend.
"Yeah, fine." She nodded. "Just up late studying, and I don't feel so good."
"Let's pick up some food on our way to class," I suggested as she gathered up her books and supplies. "I think you'll feel better once you eat."
"Sure." She nodded as she stood staring into space before suddenly remembering that she needed her coat and gloves. "Lemme get my stuff."
"I'm worried about you, Liz," I said quietly as she pulled on her coat and shouldered her backpack.
"Don't be, kiddo." She smiled. "I'm good."
We stopped at Panera on our way to class and bought a bag full of bagels and cream cheese along with two steaming hot coffees. Liz ate two bagels right out of the bag on the walk to class. I stared at her, wondering what was going on, but the bagels seemed to improve whatever it was that had been ailing her, and by the time we reached the classroom, the Liz I knew and loved was back.
"So, what happened with lover boy the other night?" she asked. "You two go back to your place?"
"Liz!" I laughed. "No, we got dinner and then he took me on a tour of the fire house before he dropped me off."
"Oh my, aren't you two so cute!" she said as she clapped her hands and pulled another bagel out of the bag. This time she covered it in cream cheese and ate half in three bites. "It's like a good old-fashioned romance! Jimmy Stewart and all."
"Stop it, Liz," I said, looking down at my boots suddenly feeling ashamed that she saw me as a prude. "I did kiss him, you know."
"Oooooh, this is looking up!" She laughed and then when she saw the serious look on my face stopped and patted my shoulder. "Awww, don't get worked up about it, kiddo. I'm just teasing you."
"I know, but I'm not a total prude, you know," I said defensively. "I have needs, too."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She nodded, biting into the other half of the cream cheese covered bagel and getting the creamy white topping all over her nose. "I know you do. You're just better at keeping those needs at bay than the rest of us. I'm jealous of your ability to delay gratification, actually."
"You are?" I asked, surprised by this revelation.
"Hell yeah, I am," she said. "I'm impulsive; an in-the-moment girl who can't deny herself anything. Gets me into trouble a lot, but you know that."
"Are you in trouble, Liz?" I asked, grateful for the chance to swing the conversation in her direction.
"Nah, I'm good," she said, waving me off. "I'm just...you know. Me."
At that moment, Professor Jackson entered the room and signaled the start of class. She began class with a lecture on the lymphatic system and the ways in which it functions as a filter for all kinds of bacteria and debris that enters the body. I spent the hour taking copious notes and redrawing the diagrams Professor Jackson created on the board.
At the end of class, I looked over and saw that Liz had put her head down and fallen asleep on the desk. Irritated with her inattentiveness, I poked her awake knowing that later she'd be borrowing my notes to study for the exam.
"Miss Baker, I'd like to have a word with you," Professor Jackson said as we pulled on our coats and prepared to head over to the anatomy lab. "You may go on along to the lab, Miss Pierce."
I gave Liz a concerned look as she shrugged, then I walked out into the corridor and waited for her. Something wasn't right with Liz, but by the time she walked out of the classroom, she'd regained her sassy manner and spent the walk over to the lab mimicking Professor Jackson's academic concern. She had me giggling until I couldn't control myself as my doubts about her slipped away.
"So, tell me about the boy," Liz said over lunch once we'd finished our anatomy lab assignment. "Was he a good kisser?"
"Mmm hmm." I nodded with a mouth full of peri peri chicken. I swallowed, and said, "He was an incredibly good kisser. I wanted more, but the alarm broke it up, and then when he drove me home it didn't feel right, you know?"
"No, I do not know," Liz said as she picked at the cucumber salad. "If I want to have sex, I have sex. I don't have this weird guilt thing going on. Where does that even come from?"
"Probably the church," I mumbled as I put another forkful of chicken in my mouth.
"Ah, I see, that's why I have no guilt." She grinned. "No church doctrine to cloud my upbringing."
"It wasn't all bad, Liz," I said, feeling both guilty and ashamed. I hated this mix of feelings and had fought it my entire adult life. I always felt like I was fighting a battle against corruption and freedom to make my own choices, and I never felt like I won, even when I made good decisions. "It's just that..."
"Just that you wanted to take him upstairs, strip him naked, and have your way with him, and you let the guilt take hold and drive him away?" she asked in her blunt way. "Look, there's nothing wrong with making healthy choices, Alex. I'm not saying you should hop in bed with every guy who crosses your path. In fact, don't do that. It's not healthy, but you are an adult female with a sex drive, and occasionally you're going to meet men who seem like they would be good at taking care of your needs. Don't shy away from those guys."
"You make it sound so easy," I said as I picked up a sweet potato fry and popped it in my mouth. "It's not always so clear cut. Plus, I don't want a guy I like to think I'm easy."
"Oh, please, give me a break," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sick and tired of that double standard that says that men always want sex and women are just waiting for Mr. Right. That's bullshit, and you know it. This is the twenty-first century; we're allowed to have sex when and where we want to so long as it's safe, sane, and consensual."
"Where do you learn these things, Liz?" I laughed. "It's like you've been studying sex and writing lectures."
"Maybe I have been," she said, grinning as she finished the food on her plate and gave me a mischievous grin. "I want ice cream. Let's go get some!"
We stopped at Jenny's for scoops of the infamous salted caramel ice cream, and Liz gave me her lecture of responsible sexual behavior. She had some good points, and by the time she had finished, I was fairly sure that I'd convinced myself that sex with Cam Connor was a stellar idea.
"Oh shit," Liz said as we were finishing up our treats. "Here comes the human wrecking ball and her two chains."
"Well, fancy seeing you two here," Violet said with a smile that told me she wasn't at all glad to see either of us. As usual, she was impeccably dressed and not a hair was out of place. "I would have thought you'd be at the library studying given your performance on the last test, Baker."
"Yeah, well, I believe in taking my chances rather than jamming my nose up the professor's ass to ensure my grade," Liz shot back. Violet and her friends gasped before frowning disapprovingly. I wondered if they practiced the expressions so that they could do it in unison.
"I don't have to brown nose, Baker," Violet sniffed. "I received a good education, unlike some people."
"Yes, Violet, we're all very aware of the fact that your daddy has more money than God and can buy you the best of everything," Liz said, licking her spoon obscenely, sending a shock wave through the small group yet again. "It's really too bad he couldn't invest some of that money in a personality or a soul for you."
"You're a terrible person," Jessica Watkins hissed as she grabbed Violet's arm and tried to pull her away from the table.
"No, I'm really not," Liz said. "It's you three who are terrible. You are petty, mean, and small little girls who bully everyone. You just don't like me because I'm not intimidated by you. Go on, now, shoo. We're done here."
Violet, Jessica, and Lydia all shot nasty looks at Liz before turning back toward the counter.
"You think that was a good idea?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow and tipped my head questioningly.
"Screw them," Liz said, waving a hand in the girls' general direction. "I'm tired of their bullying tactics and I'm sick of everyone cowing to them. I'll take my chances."