Chapter Fifteen
Cam
I couldn't stop thinking about Alex as I walked Tesla and got ready for work. The soft curves of her body invaded my every waking thought, and I felt my body responding to the desire in a way that I hadn't felt in years.
But the more I thought about Alex, the more I also thought about Quinn. It was as if the awakened feelings were triggering a return to the guilt I'd felt after Quinn had died, and with every wave of pleasure, there was an accompanying wave of sadness and guilt. I drove to the station, trying to figure out how I would cope with the competing feelings.
"Hey, Connor, you look like something the dog dragged in!" Mike called as I walked through the door. Tesla wagged her tail and ran over to him as he grabbed a dog treat out of the cabinet and made her sit. Once she'd gotten what she wanted, she pulled her bunny out of the toy basket and walked over to her bed where she flopped down with a loud, "Woof!"
"Thanks, Kelly," I called as I walked to the locker room to drop my backpack off. "Always count on you for a morning lift!"
The locker room was empty, and I stared at the photo of Quinn hanging on the door. It was a photo I'd taken just after we'd moved into the house. She was lying on the front lawn with her books open, studying for an exam, as I'd cut the grass in the backyard. I'd come around the corner to find her lying on the fresh cut grass in the front of the house. Her books were spread out, but she was lying on her back with her arms spread and her face to the sun. She looked like an angel bathed in sunlight. An instant before I'd snapped the picture, she'd opened her eyes and looked right at me smiling. Later, I'd threatened to make it the photo on our wedding announcement. Quinn had simply laughed.
I slammed the locker shut and standing behind it was Victor Vangel.
"What do you want, Vangel?" I said in a flat voice.
"You know what I want, Connor," he said menacingly. "I want you to take your name out of the running, and I want your vote for Squad Lieutenant."
"Go to hell, Vangel," I said. "I have nothing to do with the process of choosing the next Lieutenant and you know it."
"You putting in a good word for me could help sway the decision, though," he said as his eyes narrowed. "And if you’re not trying to get promoted, I have a much better chance. Is there some reason you don't want to do that?"
"You know damn well why I don't want to do that," I said as I turned and spun the lock and then pulled it to make sure it was sealed. "I can't stand you, Vangel. I think you're a weasel and a lousy firefighter, and I can't imagine you ever earning the loyalty of the men you lead. How you’ve managed to fool everyone else, I have no idea."
"I see," Victor said quietly. "Well, then I guess I'm going to have to pull out the big guns and use what I have to get what I want."
"You can't blackmail me," I said. I knew he could cause a great deal of damage before Leo and I released the information about my ownership of CSC, but I didn't want him to know that. "I know about you, and just because you got the top score on the Lieutenant exam doesn’t mean you’re competent, Victor. You're a hot-head who is a danger to everyone around you."
"You son of a bitch..." Victor said. "You're going to be sorry you said that, Connor."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, waving him off. "Promises, promises."
Victor turned and stormed out of the locker room without another word. I followed, hoping that today was not going to be the day he decided to spill the news about my involvement in CSC, but preparing myself if he did.
Back in the community area, Victor was nowhere to be seen, so I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down to breakfast with the guys. Danny and Mike teased me about my date with Alex as they tried to get more information about it out of me. I didn’t want to reveal too much since I wasn’t sure where this was headed and definitely didn’t want to be humiliated if or when Alex decided it wasn’t working. The guys groaned as I kept my cards close to my chest, but eventually let it go.
Around noon, we were called out on a medical emergency that turned out to be nothing much, so I persuaded Mike to stop by the flower shop near the hospital so I could run in and pick something up.
"Can't you just do what the rest of us do and buy them at the gas station, Connor?" Newsome yelled as I returned to the truck with a dozen pink roses in a large gold box.
"And you wonder why you're still single." I laughed, shaking my head. I left the flowers in the engine, knowing we'd probably be stopping by the hospital at some point, and helped Mike do an equipment check that took the rest of the afternoon.
"New girl, eh?" Mike asked after I'd tucked the box under the seat.
"Yeah, well, she's nice," I said, trying not to let on how much I liked Alex.
"Hey, you know it's okay if you fall for someone else, don't you?" he asked as he pulled out the checklist and began reading from it as I checked the supplies and gear. "No one would think any less of you if you fell for someone. It doesn't take anything away from what you had with Quinn."
I was quiet as he spoke. None of the guys had ever talked to me about the fire or losing Quinn because I'd shut it all down. There was no room for anyone to ask me anything aside from whether I was okay or not, and I hadn't wanted to talk to any of them about it once I'd returned to work.
"It's just..." I began, not knowing how to talk about this. It had been ten years that I'd kept the feelings bottled up, and in that time, I hadn't met anyone who I'd wanted to open up to. Sure, I'd slept with a handful of women on the nights when getting my physical needs met outweighed the feelings of guilt that would flood over me the next morning, but I hadn't fallen for a single one of them. "She's different."
"I can tell," Mike said as he focused on the list. "And that's okay, Cam. The guys from opposite shift said she’s cool. You should bring her around the station sometime and introduce her to the people you work with."
"I don't know..." I said, trailing off.
"Does she know about Quinn?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, I think that's why I'm so drawn to her," I said. "It's like she doesn't dwell on the sadness, but she doesn't want to force me to put it all behind me and forget."
"Oh, she's a keeper, man." Mike nodded. "Grab her and hang on with everything you've got."
"Yeah," I murmured. "Yeah."
We finished the equipment check as the guys were staring dinner, so I jumped in and cut up vegetables for the salad. Victor had returned and was studiously ignoring me from the other side of the room. Danny shot me a questioning look, and I simply shrugged and said, "No idea."
#
We didn't go out again for the rest of the night, so the next morning I drove to the hospital before going home. I knew that Alex had worked the night shift because she'd told me that she'd volunteered to help out in exchange for additional internship hours.
"Be a good girl for ten minutes," I said to Tesla, who tipped her head and woofed softly as I grabbed the flowers from the backseat. "I'll be right back."
The ER was quiet, but I didn't see Alex anywhere. The charge nurse looked up when I walked in and smiled.
"You looking for a patient?" she asked.
"No, actually, I'm looking for Alex Pierce," I said. "She's a nursing student, an intern?"
"Oh, I know Alex." She smiled as she picked up the phone and called for Alex over the intercom. "Hold on, she's around her somewhere."
I nodded as I stepped out of the way and waited. A few moments later, Alex came striding down the hall carrying a laundry basket full of towels and linen. Her long blond hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and she looked much younger than her twenty-four years. She was singing something under her breath as she did a little dance step with the laundry, but when she saw me standing there, she stopped and blushed bright red.
"Don't stop." I smiled as I walked toward her holding out the box. "Just switch with me."
"Cam, what are you doing here?" she asked as her eyes moved from my face to the gold box I held out.
"I wanted to bring these to you last night, but just my luck we didn't have any calls," I said as she set the basket down and took the box. I grabbed the basket and followed her to the nurses’ station where she set the box down and opened it.
"Oh, Cam!" she gasped as she saw the roses. "These are beautiful!"
"I'm glad you like them." I smiled. "I was wondering if you'd have time to grab some breakfast with me or maybe dinner tonight is better?"
"I'd love to have dinner with you," she said as she ran her fingers over the soft petals, and I felt myself responding knowing all too well how her fingers felt on my skin.
”I'll pick you up at seven. Dress up, we're going somewhere fancy!" I said.
"Cam! You don't have to do that to impress me, you know," she said. "I like you just fine."
"I know, but I want to take you somewhere special tonight," I said as she tucked the tissue back into the box and put the lid on. Then quickly changing the subject before I got too carried away, I asked, "Do you need a ride home this morning?"
"No, I'm good, thanks," she said as a small frown flickered across her lips. "I've got to stay a while longer and wait for Liz."
"Everything okay?" I asked as I marveled at how fresh she looked despite the fact that she'd been on duty all night. I rubbed my chin realizing the scruff had popped up and knew I'd have to shave before our date.
Just then, three young women all dressed in matching blue scrubs walked into the ER.
"Well, if it isn't Cam Connor!" the tall brunette said. "It's so good to see you, Cam."
Alex looked back and forth between me and the brunette with a surprised look. I shrugged as I tried to figure out how this woman knew me.
"It's Violet," she said, lightly laughing. "Violet Metzler? You know my father, Richard."
"Oh, yes, of course," I said, suddenly feeling a wave of dread wash over me. If Violet outed me as the owner of CSC before I'd told Alex about it, there would be a lot of explaining to do. "It's good to see you, Violet."
I held out my hand and the woman took it, but instead of shaking it, she pulled herself in close and whispered, "Oh, come on, you can do better than that, certainly," as she hugged me.
I saw the dark look cross Alex's face as I was pulled into Violet's forced but polite hug. I looked back at Alex and shook my head trying to covey the fact that I had no idea who this woman was.
"Have we actually ever met?" I asked as Violet stepped back and looked up at me. She was a pretty girl, but there was something about her that felt slightly off.
"Oh, you silly guy!" She laughed a little too loudly as she swatted my shoulder. "You know my daddy, Richard Metzler! You should know me, too!"
"Ah, I see," I said without commenting further. I knew that to address this issue here and now would bring up a lot of questions that I wasn't ready to answer. "Good to see you, then."
"You should come out with us sometime," Violet said. I knew she was after something other than a date with me because there was a hard look in her eyes as she issued the invitation.
"Yeah, well, my schedule's pretty booked these days," I said, looking over Violet's shoulder and trying to catch Alex's eye again. Alex refused to look up from the chart she was reading, and I knew I was going to have to do some explaining later. As a polite afterthought, I added, "But thanks for the invite."
"I see," Violet said, narrowing her eyes, then remembering she had an audience, she laughed lightly as she said, "Well, if you change your mind, we'll be over at Ricky's Diner for breakfast later."
"Uh huh, thanks," I said as I moved around the three girls and headed toward Alex. I stood behind her and quietly said, "I can explain all that. I don't know her, but I have done business with her father. It's nothing."
"Hey, no big deal," Alex said with a forced smile. "You gotta do what you gotta do."
"Alex, don't be like that," I said as she turned back to her file and ignored me. "I'm still picking you up at seven, so dress up, okay?"
"Uh huh, sure, I'll be ready," she said as she picked up the file and moved behind the desk, pointedly ignoring me.
"Fine, if you're going to be that way, then it's going to be a quiet night for us both, but I'm still picking you up at seven!" I said a little more loudly than I'd intended causing the staff behind the desk to look up.
"I'll be ready," Alex said before she walked away from the desk.
I marched out of the ER and back to the truck where Tesla lay curled up sleeping in the front seat. I started the truck and then slammed my fists on the steering wheel as I muttered, "Women!"
Tesla lifted her head up off of her paw and let out one quiet "Woof!" before she put her head back down.
"Not you, too?" I said in an exasperated tone. She ignored me the whole ride home.