Chapter Twenty-Two
Cole
It had been almost a week since I’d run into Shannon at Mr. Geary’s, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling I had. There was no way that I was going to mention it to my parents, though, so the only other person I could talk to who would understand the impact of the situation was Ben.
“What was she doing there?” he asked.
“She’s a home health aide. It just caught me completely off guard seeing her like that.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you weren’t expecting that shit.”
“It went about as well as you’d expect.”
“Did you tell your parents?”
“No. My mother wouldn’t be able to handle it. She’s got so much guilt as it is; I don’t need to add to it.”
“Well, hopefully you won’t see her again. Shannon, that is. Not your mother.”
“It’s just...bothering me. I mean, I feel like it’s bothering me now as much as it was when I ran into her that day.”
“You didn’t say anything to her about...?”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. There’s no point. It would only complicate things by a thousand. She obviously still hates me and wishes her brother had never met my sister in the first place. Not that I blame her for hating me. I just wasn’t expecting to see her, I guess, and then knowing that my parents saw Sam at the grocery store... I mean, I still think about that shit.”
“Of course,” Ben said, nodding. “How could you not? Have you ever considered going to talk to someone?”
“Talk to someone? I’m talking to you right now. You’re essentially the only person that I can really talk to about this.”
“And I’m glad to be a sounding board, but I meant someone who might have experience dealing with this sort of thing.”
“Like a lawyer?”
He gave me a funny look. “A lawyer? No. Like...a therapist or something. A counselor. Someone who’s trained in dealing with matters like this. Someone that you could talk to that might be able to offer you some advice.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m not sure I want to go that route. I mean, how much advice are they really going to be able to offer?”
Ben shrugged. “I have no idea. But they might be able to help. I’m not saying that you can’t talk to me, but I’ll be honest—I feel a little unqualified. There’s not much I can offer in the way of helpful advice.”
“I’m not looking for answers,” I said. “Or I’m not expecting them from you or anything. Sometimes it just helps to talk.”
“Yeah, I know. And if this is helping, then that’s great. But maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider talking to someone else, too.”
“Hmm,” I said. “That’s not something I ever considered before, but I’ll think about it.” I was just saying that; there was no way I was going to go to a shrink.
“You’re a doctor; you help people,” Ben continued. “And that’s what a therapist does, too, right? They’re just sort of...a different kind of doctor.”
“Well, if they’re a psychiatrist. I’m not going to see a psychiatrist, though.”
“Suit yourself,” he said. “But maybe you shouldn’t knock it till you try it.”
The best way to forget about my interaction with Shannon was to keep myself busy with Declan, with work, with hanging out with Allie. All things that I was happy to do. Declan and I were sitting down to dinner. It had been a whirlwind of a day; I’d had a full day of patients and then ended up having to stay later to wait for my last appointment to show up.
I had looked out the window toward Allie’s house when I had made my way over to the kitchen table with Declan’s plate, and I saw that her car wasn’t there in the driveway. I wondered where she was, what she was up to right then, and I found myself wishing that she was sitting there at the table with us.
“Here you go, bud,” I said, sliding the plate with half a chicken salad sandwich and some cold grilled zucchini that we had picked up at the market on the way home. She’d been there at the Learning Center when I’d picked Declan up, but she was talking with another parent, so I didn’t have a chance to say much, though we did share a quick glance across the room. I didn’t think that anyone noticed, and even if they had, it wouldn’t have looked like anything more than two people meeting each other’s eyes for the briefest of moments, before continuing on with what it was they’d been doing, but I was definitely aware of the sexual tension, and I was eager to have some alone time with Allie again; I just wasn’t sure when that would be.
Declan took a sip of his lemonade. “Do you think Miss Allie could sleep over here some time?” he asked, putting his cup down.
“Maybe,” I said. “Would you like that?”
“Yes! We could set up sleeping bags in the living room and stay up all night and watch movies.”
“That sounds like quite the evening.”
“We could have popcorn.”
“We might be able to arrange something like that.”
Declan grinned. “Good,” he said. He leaned toward me. “I saw you guys kissing,” he whispered.
“You did?”
“Yes. Before Allie went back to her house that day we went riding on the bike trail. That means you guys like each other, doesn’t it? Cause people who don’t like each other wouldn’t kiss like that, would they?”
“You usually only kiss people you like,” I agreed. “I didn’t realize you’d seen us.”
“I was spying.”
“Oh you were, were you?”
The grin widened; he was clearly very proud of himself. “This girl at school tried to kiss me on the playground once, but I wouldn’t let her.”
“You’re a little young for that.”
“I didn’t really like her that much.” Declan tilted his head to the side. “Does Miss Allie want to be my mom?”
“Whoa,” I said. “Where’s this coming from?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Moms and dads kiss, though, right? They do on TV. And Miss Allie is so nice, I wouldn’t mind if she was my mom since I don’t have a mom.”
“You do have a mom,” I said. “Everyone has a mom; that’s how we’re born.”
“I know, but I don’t have a mom who’s here. I don’t have a mom that I know.”
For a moment, neither of us said anything. Four, in my opinion, was still too young to really be able to comprehend the facts of this particular situation. It wasn’t a conversation that I was particularly looking forward to. Declan was as smart as a whip, but I still wasn’t ready to really get into the topic of his mother. It was a talk that we’d have to have someday, but I was hoping that day was way off in the very distant future.
“So,” he continued, “since I don’t have a mom that I know, and since I like Miss Allie so much, and it seems like she does want to be my mom, I was thinking that I might ask her. Do you think she’ll say yes?”
I tried not to smile. “I’m not sure if that’s how it works,” I said. “I don’t know if people go around asking other people to be their parents.”
“But I could try, couldn’t I? That’s what you and Grandma are always saying, that I should at least try.”
“It is good to try,” I said. “Even when other people are telling you that you can’t do it. Especially then. Unless it’s dangerous, of course,” I added quickly.
“I don’t think this is dangerous, though.”
“No,” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich. “I don’t think it is, either.”