Chapter 9
Emma
Sitting next to Eric at the bar, I plaster a polite smile across my face as we both turn from our drinks to greet the latest celebrity who feels that because they graced us with their presence, we should be bowing and scraping before them.
Every night, it’s the same thing, over and over. Celebrities who want even more attention drop in expecting the owners to sit and entertain them, not having a clue that I have to work, that I can’t just sit and entertain them upon their request.
I know Eric doesn’t understand it or get me. He loves this side of things. The rubbing elbows with celebrities, entertaining them.
But as I meet each one, I become more and more aware of how much I do not fit in here. The never-ending quest of people trying to be seen at the newest and hottest restaurant, the glitter and glamour of obvious wealth, the constant demands from celebrities requesting my presence during dinner is all taking its toll on me.
It only makes me realize that I miss the simplicity of the life I had with Lucas.
I miss the morning sunrises over the lake that would gently wake us on weekend mornings as I laid in bed next to him, my head on his chest as the sunrays softly prompted me to begin my new day.
I miss the mornings when I’d watch how the light would stream into his bedroom reflecting on his hair, my heart always catching every time he would turn his head on his pillow to gaze at me with his wide and sexy grin in place.
Sometimes reaching to pull me to him, starting our days with a lovemaking session that could be gentle or fierce.
And sometimes he would just gently trace my face with the tip of his finger, making me feel like the most desired woman even with such a small gesture.
I also miss the daily walks among the vines, along with the simple joy of lying amongst the vines, as I looked up at the stars from wherever I was in LA each night.
But what I miss most is having Lucas there beside me as I walked those vines, sometimes pulling me to a stop to kiss me – to make love to me.
It's all my mind thinks of when I’m alone.
It taunts me, torments me.
I’m lonely even though I’m surrounded by people.
Catching my eye, Eric draws me back to the present, as his eyes reflect his concern for me, before he turns his attention back to the blond, female Adonis standing next to him. She is practically begging Eric to take her here and now with her eyes and her body language.
I hear Eric softly say, “I promised Emma I’d walk her home tonight.”
His concern lately doesn’t surprise me as it once did, but those words do surprise me.
Eric turning down a beautiful woman who so obviously wanted him never happened.
Eric slept with anything that showed any kind of interest.
I know he tried to hide it from me, but I was aware of the notes slipped to him, the flirtatious glances sent his way by females, married and unmarried. I also seen the secretive, flirtatious and promising smiles that he returned.
But as I watched Eric over the past several months, came to know him a little better, I could start to see through him, to what made him tick.
I still didn’t know what had happened in his life to make him such an asshole to most people, but as I worked alongside him, as his concern for me became more and more evident, I’d allowed myself to lower the self-imposed wall that I’d firmly put into place the day I arrived here.
Because I could finally see through to the human that exists under that suave, cynical masque.
And that human was hurting, and hurting very deeply, underneath.
Lost.
Looking at Eric, I remember to drop the fake smile that I’d only learned how to smile since coming to LA, quickly into place.
The blond Adonis is not put off though as she slips her business card into his pocket, telling Eric to call her once he has done his good deed for the night before turning and heading out the door, her escort following her, even though she’d tried to replace him for the night only moments ago.
Shaking my head, I turn from watching them to take the last sip of my drink.
“What?” I hear Eric ask.
Turning to look at him, I reply, “I just don’t understand how some of these people live. And that blatant invite to take up what she was offering…it’s just not something that was ever part of my world.”
Eric looks at me, his eyes assessing as he asks, “Is that why you are so different?”
Eric has stated that fact to me many times before.
That I was different.
That it was one of the reasons why he wanted me.
Eric didn’t realize that growing up in the celebrity world, surrounded by beautiful women all eagerly clamoring for his attention for a night or two, that he was desensitized to how the rest of the world lived.
He was also obliviously unaware that the way he treated people made him look like an asshole.
It’s why I’d kept him at arms-length at first.
But over the past several months, I’d started to see past that arrogance.
When his mother, whom I was even unaware was still alive or in his life, had made a surprise visit to Eric at the restaurant, I’d been given a glimpse into what his life had possibly been like as a child.
From the moment she had walked in the door, I knew that this lady was high maintenance.
And utterly selfish.
Like she had no soul.
Her eyes had scanned the restaurant, her haughty nose wrinkling as she quite loudly claimed, “What is that smell?”
Eric’s head had immediately snapped up from where he was enjoying dinner with one of his friends, named Borden, along with Borden’s girlfriend.
I’d watched as Eric hastily stood, throwing his napkin into the food on his plate that he left uneaten at her appearance. His agitated stride over to her, his eyes sparking anger, - hatred even, had quickly told me all that I’d needed to know about his mother. I’d been unable to turn my eyes away when his mother strode over to meet him, or at least that’s what I’d originally thought until she had continued past him, not even bothering to greet him as her eyes zeroed in on Borden. I’m sure it was like a bad dream for Eric when she had approached Borden’s table, her hand lightly trailing over Borden’s upper arm, as she loudly purred, “Borden! It’s been years…” Her smile, the way her eyes had moved over Borden, practically eating him alive, had even made me uncomfortable from across the room. Then, for all the restaurant to see, she had bent forward, allowing Borden to see clearly down the front of her dress before placing her lips to his cheek.
As she’d straightened, I’d watched Borden’s amused and tolerating smile as Eric’s mother hadn’t waited to be invited to sit.
Instead, she pulled out the chair that Eric had just vacated, her gaze still devouring Borden, despite Borden’s quite obvious date sat next to him.
My eyes had immediately flickered to Eric who had strode angrily back to the table, his face clearly showing his hatred for this woman, as he said something to her through gritted teeth.
Her response was one of laughter as she replied easily, “Oh Eric…always so angry. I just stopped in for a glass of wine and saw Borden here and thought it would be great time to catch up. After all, I haven’t seen him since he has hit it so big.” And with that, she dismissed Eric as her hungry eyes went back to Borden.
But watching that woman, I’d instantly started to understand Eric a little more.
Coming back to the moment, I carefully contemplate Eric’s question as to why I’m different before I reply.
“I’m not that different, Eric,” I reply softly. Knowing that I was possibly the only female that could get away with it because of his misplaced infatuation with me, I continue, “You’ve just not experienced the world like I have. There’s good in it, Eric. You just have to find it.”
His eyes scan my face. I finally understand that what he says next he thinks is true, and it comes from his childhood experiences, as he murmurs softly, “You’re the only good in my life and yet you won’t have me.”
Smiling gently, trying to soften what I’m about to say, I reply, “I’m not a woman that easily goes from one man to the next.”
His eyes go to his glass in front of him and I feel pity for him.
He looks so lost and alone tonight.
But still, not wanting to discuss anything too deep with Eric, still not at the point of trusting him and his little games, I push my stool back from the bar and stand. Taking my purse from where it is hanging on the back of the bar stool, I say softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Eric quickly lifts his glass, downing the rest of his drink before standing as well.
“I’m walking you home,” he murmurs, as he stands as well.
Shaking my head, wanting to be alone, I reply, “No, Eric. I can walk by myself.”
He avoids my eyes as he says, “I worry about you every night when you walk home. Tonight, I’m here so I’m going with you.”
“No, Eric,” I state firmly.
But when his eyes come to mine, showing a vulnerability I’d never seen before, I sigh out heavily and give in to his demand.
Glancing around the bar at the remaining employees that are there until closing, I wave my goodbyes, telling them all, “Thank you.’
Eric remains silent, as he follows me to the employee entrance and out.
Once we are on the sidewalk, I hear him ask, “Why do you do that?”
Looking over at him, so incredibly tall and handsome, walking next to me, his attitude one of such arrogance, I can’t help but smile.
Because I’m finally starting to understand him.
He has no idea how to treat people who want nothing from him but to put in an honest day of work at his business.
“I always say thank you just because they are human beings, Eric. They work hard for us, and yes while we employ them and help them to feed their families, I like to acknowledge that I’m appreciative of the job they do. It goes a long way in establishing a mutually respectful beneficial relationship on both sides.”
He doesn’t say anything as he walks next to me and I leave him to his contemplation.
He doesn’t realize it yet, but he does have a goodness within him. It’s why he’s here, walking next to me, ensuring that I arrive home safe and unharmed.
“Are you happy here?” I hear him ask a few moments later, breaking through the silence.
His question spears through my heart and I take a few seconds to respond.
I think of Lucas, of how much I miss him. Miss his dark beauty walking next to me and I have to swallow back the thick lump.
“It’s where I have chosen to be,” I can only whisper. The sidewalk cracks blur, creating one solid form, as tears form in my eyes.
He remains silent for a few moments before he whispers vehemently, “He’s an idiot for letting you go. I’d have fought, fought so god damn hard, to keep you with me.”
My heart throbs.
Aching…
Reaching my building, Eric walks me to the large glass door, waiting until the doorman, Bertrand, swings it wide.
Swiping away the tears, I lift my head to smile at Bertrand as I walk through the door, but I feel a strong warm hand wrap around mine.
Halting, I glance back at Eric.
“He’s a fool,” I hear him whisper, his hand squeezing mine gently before he releases it.
He then looks at Bertrand, gives him a heart-stopping smile that would turn any woman but me to mush, as he says, “Thank you, Bertrand.”
Stunned, I watch as he turns, heading back the way he came, looking like the loneliest man in the world.
My hearts aches.
For me, because I’ll never get over Lucas.
For Eric, because I can’t give him what he wants, what he needs.
Turning, I look at Bertrand, giving him a watery smile before I head up to my condo.
Knowing I’m the loneliest woman in the world.
That in a twist of fate, I now match the lonely man now walking down the darkened street by himself.