Chapter 3
Emma
We eventually pull up in downtown LA where I see a modern building that has a banner with Opening Soon displayed across it. I take it that this is the location that Eric has selected but I don't say a word.
I silently acknowledge that I still feel no excitement, no emotion other than a sense of loss, that I left something behind that I shouldn’t have.
"We have to come up with a name, but I wanted to start building the anticipation," Eric says quietly, watching my face.
I nod, as I respond unenthusiastically, "Good idea."
"You can leave your dog here with the chauffeur as we look around inside," Eric suggests.
My dog.
Lucas never once referred to Quinny as a dog and would have welcomed her inside.
My heart squeezes painfully.
Mournfully.
Resolutely, I exit the limo and place Quinny’s carrier on the sidewalk. Unzipping her, I pick her up and snuggle her close, needing her small body as a quick reassurance that I’ll be fine before placing her on the sidewalk. I spend a few minutes with her, allowing her to sniff the trunks of a few palm trees as she finds the perfect place to relieve herself. Eric, not hiding his impatience, leans against the limo, his arms crossed in frustrated irritation as he is forced to wait for me.
Once done, I place her back in her carrier and ask the chauffeur politely to keep Quinny with him.
I only then turn my attention to Eric and allow him to show me around the building that has been stripped back to the studs. My brain finally starts to come alive as we come to the end of the tour of the blank slate of the vacant building and I start to envision the layout.
“Do you have the floor plans yet?” I ask as I turn from observing the large glass window that shows a perfect view of the Hollywood sign and the hills around it.
“Yes, when you called yesterday and told me you were on the way, I had the construction start date moved up and had an initial set drawn up overnight,” Eric says as he leads me to a worktable that has been set up in the center of what I’ve already determined will be the main dining room. Carefully looking over the already rolled out drawings, I take a pen from my purse and make the revisions immediately. With construction set to start in the next few days, I want there to be no hang up in getting this project underway immediately.
Because I desperately need it up and moving so I could throw myself into it, knowing I need the challenge of it to get through this feeling of how my life feels like it has completely fallen apart instead of on the verge of success.
Eric stands close to me, leaning over my shoulder as I make the changes and I choose to ignore him. Instead, I grit my teeth and pretend that I don’t want to stab him with my pen straight through the hand he has placed on the table next to me, practically encircling me in his arms. I know he is using it as an excuse to better prop himself to look over my shoulder, to be closer to me. I don’t want to even give him the satisfaction that his nearness bothers me, even if it is only irritation that he prompts to arise in me.
With someone like Eric, it’s always best to ignore the behavior.
So, I pretend he isn’t there as I sketch in a few walls and separations along with extra electrical outlets and fixtures plus label the areas for the kitchen, main and private dining rooms along with the washrooms. It works because sometime during the process, I completely forget Eric is standing so close.
Rolling the plans up, I straighten, forcing Eric to move away or risk having his nose bumped off the top of my head. I then turn to him and without a word, I plunk the plans across his chest as I stare into his eyes, silently warning him to keep his distance the next time.
Not waiting for him, I stride out of the building to the waiting limo and climb in. A few minutes later, Eric joins me, and I can feel anger radiating from him.
Good. I hope his anger eats him alive. From his scarily dark insides to his suave beauty on the outside – I silently fume.
Ignoring him, I watch the busy LA traffic as the limo takes us a few blocks down the street before pulling into a gated underground garage.
After parking the limo, the driver swings my door open. As I straighten from the limo, I look around and notice the sign “Riverdale Condominiums.”
My heart drops as I realize this may be Eric’s condo.
Grasping Quinny’s carrier handle more tightly, I turn to watch as Eric straightens his tall frame after stepping from the limo.
His mocking gaze does nothing to settle my fears as the limo driver retrieves my luggage.
Crossing to Eric quickly, I don’t hide the sheer hate I feel for him as I ask, “What is this place?’
His mocking gaze only increases as he replies smugly, “The sign clearly says what this is.”
“I won’t go up there with you if this is your place,” I spit out hatefully.
A wide, knowing, and self-confident grin spreads across his face, and I curl my hands into fists as I consider raking my nails down his face, as he replies easily, “Afraid of what may happen if we’re alone?”
“Eric…” I murmur between clenched teeth.
“Relax Emma. It’s your condo. I’m just safely dropping you off,” he replies mockingly, but then he allows his eyes to move over me suggestively before he continues, “For now. But someday you’ll invite me in all on your own.”
Moving closer to him, I stare angrily up into his face as I state confidently, “It’ll never happen.”
He doesn’t respond and only allows his gaze to move over my face before that suave countenance slips back into place.
I so want to hit this man.
Eric finally moves his gaze from mine to the doorman who has been patiently waiting for Eric and I to finish our standoff.
Flushing slightly, feeling completely drained from the widely swinging emotions I have endured over the past couple of days, I step away from Eric and towards the entrance.
The doorman swings the door wide in welcome and I force a smile on my face - pretending as if my world isn’t spinning and feeling as if it isn’t falling apart - as I read his name from the name tag pinned to his chest.
“Hi, Bertrand. I’m Emma,” I say by way of introducing myself, holding my hand out for a handshake.
Bertrand smiles widely back at me, his eyes turning from a distant cold to friendly as they move from Eric to settle on me as he takes my hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Emma,” he says, as a warm smile crosses his face.
“This is Eric,” I say, taking the initiative to introduce Eric as I release Bertrand’s hand.
Bertrand’s warm smile falls away as Eric murmurs dismissively, “Bertrand,” and doesn’t extend his hand in a friendly greeting. I silently wonder how someone could be so dismissive – so cold – to another human being.
Turning his attention back to me, Bertrand says warmly, “If you need anything Miss Emma, I’m here until midnight and then Frank takes over until 7am.”
Choosing to ignore Eric and his obvious impatience as he stands next to me scowling, I smile at Bertrand as I say, “Thank you.”
As we step over to the elevators, Eric hands me a plastic key card and shows me where to insert it into the slot to slide it to bring the elevator to the ground floor.
Once we step on and the doors slide closed, silence develops thick and heavy between us.
Thankfully, it is only a few seconds later that we arrive to my floor. Stepping off the elevator, I see one set of double doors ahead of me and I realize that I have the entire floor of the building.
Eric takes my key card from my hand, hastily swiping it quickly through another slot before handing it back to me and both double doors swing wide automatically.
My eyes take in the neutral tones, the view of the LA skyline that is visible from where I’m standing through the large windows on the opposite side of the room.
It's stunning but it fails to make me excited.
I suddenly miss the rolling landscape of the vineyard and yearn for it as I follow Eric into my new home. I continue past him, ignoring him, I look out one of the large windows onto a busy street.
Closing my eyes, with my heart aching so heavily in my chest, I admit to myself, - I miss Lucas.
“Your luggage will be right up,” Eric says.
I only nod, not really understanding why we couldn’t have just taken my single bag with us.
"Would you like to have dinner tonight so that we can discuss the next steps?" Eric inquires, and I open my eyes, resigning myself to admitting that I have to push Lucas to the back burner in my mind.
Forcing my attention away from the window, I turn to look at Eric.
"I’m really not in the mood to go out tonight, Eric. Can we possibly meet here?" I ask, feeling totally strung out. The three-hour time change plus the stress of leaving Lucas and having to deal so soon with Eric and his advances has caught up to me.
Eric's eyes scan my face. Surprisingly, I see worry etch his features for just a split moment before it is gone, replaced by his suave countenance again as he nods.
"Come back around 7," I say dismissively, a combination of needing to lie down and wanting him gone causing me to be abrupt.
He pauses momentarily, like he is about to say something, before he nods again. "I'll pick up take-out. Is sushi okay?"
"Sushi’s fine," I answer and silently beg him to just go.
Once he is thankfully gone, I feel relief at finally being alone. Glancing around at the richness of the condo, I have to admit to myself that the condo is beautiful.
But it doesn’t feel like home.
Letting Quinny out of her carrier, I scoop her up and enter the bedroom. Without looking around, I pull back the sheets and crawl in. Quinny instantly tucks herself into my side, her little body consoling me.
I don’t even realize that I fall asleep until I’m awakened by the knocking on my door. Pushing myself sleepily from the bed, I stumble towards it and swing it open. Eric's eyes widen as they take in my dishevelment.
"Sorry," I mumble. "I fell asleep right after you left.”
I can’t help but feel a little vulnerable as I stand before him, feeling disconcerted from having been woken from a deep sleep.
“Give me thirty minutes to take a shower and take Quinny out," I sigh out in reluctance.
Eric pauses, and once again I see a moment’s worry before he quickly shutters it and replies, "Take your time. "
I can't help but think if Lucas was here, he would know how exhausted I am, and he would offer to take Quinny to allow me more time to shower. He was always so thoughtful about the little things, always picking up on my mood and either giving me space or wrapping his arms around me when I needed them.
I miss him.
Deeply.
My heart throbs,
Aching deeply in my chest.
The pain hurts too much for a moment and I lose my breath.
Tears spring to my eyes, blurring my vision slightly, and I keep my eyes averted from Eric as I call Quinny.
Still not feeling fully awake, still struggling with the rapid events of the past couple of days and my widely swinging emotions, I walk with her for only a few minutes as I silently will her to relieve herself quickly because I feel too exhausted to do much more than allow her to have a quick bathroom break. She thankfully relieves herself right away and I say a silent prayer of gratitude. Back in my condo, I don’t say anything to Eric as I stroll past him to my bedroom, whom has made himself comfortable on a bar stool that is strategically placed at a bar so that it takes advantage of the view of the backdrop of the city lights. I take a quick shower and I don't bother drying my hair or applying makeup because I just don’t have the energy.
I’m too empty to care about vanity at all.
Pulling my wet hair into a ponytail, I slip into yoga pants and a tank top. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I take in the darkness underneath my eyes.
“You’re a mess,” I whisper to my reflection. A tear wells on the edge of my eye and I hastily wipe it away.
Straightening my shoulders, I exit my bedroom. I feel Eric's eyes on me as I pass him still sitting at the bar and continue to the kitchen island.
I unceremoniously open the container holding the sushi and pick up a piece with my fingers, uncaring of how rude I’m being as I pop it into my mouth. I haven't eaten since I left the cottage and I’m suddenly ravenous.
Eric stands and walks behind the bar to pour a glass of wine. Walking over to me, he hands it to me, deciding to ignore my rudeness.
I take a sip, savoring the taste as I close my eyes.
I’m still so exhausted.
"Are you okay?" Eric asks quietly, and the concern that is evident in his voice shocks me and I wonder if it is fake or real.
Opening my eyes, I hold his as I respond with venom, "Not really but I made my decision, haven't I?" My words come out a little harsh, but I don’t care as I realize that I’m angry still with him.
Eric’s gaze becomes shuttered and that suaveness settles back into place.
He doesn’t respond to my answer. Instead, he changes the subject as he says, "I contacted the contractor and he’s able to meet with us in the morning if you are up for it."
I nod as I place several pieces of sushi on a plate before grabbing my wine to head over to the couch.
“May as well get started," I respond, sprawling out on the couch, deliberately taking up all the space.
Eric pauses, remaining by the counter as his gaze rakes over me, not in any way that is sexual, but in a way that he is assessing me only, as if trying to figure out how to deal with me. I don't bother to invite him over or start up a conversation. I want the message loud and clear that I have no interest in him.
None, at all.
Never will.
He finally decides to fill his plate before joining me in the living room, sitting uncomfortably in the accent chair. We silently eat, me not wanting conversation, him at a loss of what to say or what to do.
Finally, he says, "I would like to have a name by the end of the week to get the marketing started."
"Magnum & Steins," I blurt out.
He looks at me, and I explain, "Magnum for magnum bottles of wine and steins after the large beer stein. I think we should concentrate on promoting your vineyard first, but we also need to promote the other California wineries for a sense of goodwill to extend our marketing reach. I also think we should focus on the new fad of craft beer."
He smiles as he relaxes a little, saying warmly, "I like it."
I nod and take another sip of my wine.
"I guess that Lucas didn't take you coming here too well?" Eric probes.
I glance at him as I reply, "You could say that."
"Will he be coming here to see you?" he probes again.
Sighing, I sit up, swinging my legs to the front of the couch as I respond, "No, he won't. He broke things off at the same time he let me go. That's what you wanted to know, right?"
Eric, only taken back for a moment by my abrupt but direct approach, takes a moment before he responds with, "Only wondering what obstacles are in my way."
I smirk snidely as I, in turn, respond, "Eric, you have no idea of the obstacles in front of you if you think you’re going to get me to sleep with you. I didn't come here for that. I came because you dangled a dream in front of me, one that I’ve had since I can remember but it’s also one that I’m not quite sure I still want."
His suaveness slips for a moment and he seems shocked at my admission.
It's true…
I’m no longer sure about this California dream.
"But since things have ended with Lucas, I’m going to give this my best shot," I continue. I stand abruptly, giving him the obvious signal to leave. I know he could easily take away my opportunity as we have not yet signed any legal documents regarding our professional arrangements, but I suddenly don't care.
Eric remains silent for a bit, and then his god damn cocky suaveness is back into place as he stands saying, "As long as you are still in it, we will move forward."
He moves to the door and I follow closely behind him so that I can lock it behind him once he leaves. He startles me as he turns swiftly, placing his finger under my chin as he murmurs, "But never underestimate my power of seduction. And never forget that I never twisted your arm to come here so your anger with me is misdirected."
He turns around quickly again and is finally gone.
I sigh as I lock the door. His statement of my anger being misdirected is true. He’d only given me the opportunity. He never had to talk me into it.
I also know that he won't give up.
Leaning against the door, I suddenly have never felt so alone.
I close my eyes as I think of Lucas, wondering what he is doing right now. I have a moment of weakness when I pick up my phone to call him.
As each ring goes unanswered, my heart breaks all over again.
His voicemail has been turned off and after several more rings, I know I have to hang up.
A sob tears through me and tear after tear slide down my cheeks. I know I’m an emotional wreck.
Our last encounter plays through my head and I remember Lucas’s words.
He had been right.
He’s the air I would crave to breathe again.
With something that feels close to a large black hole in my chest throbbing painfully through me, I scoop up Quinny and head back to bed.