“Is sex actually important?”

“What?” Kyle spit out the sip of beer he’d just taken.

“You heard me. Or really what I’m asking is whether it’s possible to live a satisfying and meaningful life without it.”

He leaned back in the worn desk chair to get a better look at me. “Is there a reason for this question?”

“Not really.” I hopped up onto the desk, careful to tug down on my skirt. “I’m just trying to plan out the rest of my life.”

“Maybe drinking while we reorganized the station was a bad idea.” He leaned back further, rocking the chair in the process. The movement gave me a momentary vision of doing the same kind of rocking with him. I shook my head to clear the thought. I wasn’t going there. No matter how much I crushed on Kyle, dating him wasn’t in the cards. Dating anyone wasn’t. I’d been there and done that, and it had ended in disaster. I wasn’t opening myself up to that kind of mess and pain again.

“I guess the answer to your question is a personal one. There are some people who can live completely satisfied without sex, but others who can’t.”

“Which category do you fall into?” I wasn’t sure why I was opening up such an awkward line of conversation with a friend who was also now technically my boss, but once I started I couldn’t stop.

“The second group.”

“Really? But you haven’t had any in months, have you?” I leaned toward him, challenging him to disagree.

“How would you have any clue about my sex life, Jade?” He turned his head slightly. He always did that when he was thinking.

“Because you spend almost all your time here.” As the manager of the campus radio station, Kyle spent nearly every moment that he wasn’t in class in his office or overseeing one of the student radio hosts. Like me.

“That doesn’t mean I haven’t had sex.”

“Now that sounds like you’re implying that you’ve had sex here.” I tapped the wooden desk. “I’m assuming that’s not what you meant.”

“No. I’m saying you don’t keep tabs on me all the time.”

“Okay. So the last time you had sex, was it mind-blowingly amazing or did it suck?”

“Now that question can’t have anything to do with you planning out the rest of your life.”

“No it can’t.” I ran a hand through my long black hair. I was far too tired and buzzed to be having this conversation, but I didn’t actually care.

“When’s the last time you had sex?” His brow wrinkled.

“It’s been awhile. I’m not going to make up some story about you not keeping tabs on me.”

“How long is awhile?”

“Why?” I crossed my legs.

“Because I’m trying to figure out where all this is coming from and where the conversation is going.”

“Why would you be worried about where it’s going? Are you afraid I’m going to try to jump you or something?” I bit my lip in an exaggerated way. A small of amount of alcohol decimated my inhibitions. It’s why I rarely drank and never did unless I was around someone I trusted. For one reason or another, I trusted Kyle.

“I wouldn’t be afraid of that.”

“I thought about it before when you were leaning back in your chair.” It was more than the alcohol making me honest. It was Kyle. I always told him he should go into counseling. He could make anyone open up about anything,

“You need a boyfriend.”

“No thanks. Hence my question about not having sex. I’m not meant for relationships.” I hoped he wouldn’t ask for details, but I knew he would.

“How many relationships have you had?”

“Not many.”

“Me either, but I’m not throwing in the towel quite yet.” He leaned back again. Either he’d forgotten what I’d said, or he didn’t mind me having sexual thoughts about him.

“Have you ever had sex without a relationship?” I’d already made him uncomfortable, no reason to stop now.

“Yes.”

“Kyle Bradley. I’m surprised at you.”

“Why? Do I really seem like such a saint?” He watched me carefully.

“Not a saint, but an ‘emotions matter’ kind of guy.”

“It’s not a habit of mine, but it happens.”

“I’ve never had that kind of emotionless sex. Maybe that’s my problem.” I took another small sip of the bitter beer.

“That’s not your problem.” He tossed his empty beer bottle into the recycling bin across the room.

“Nice aim.”

“I did play basketball in high school, you know?”

“I didn’t know that.” There was a lot about Kyle I didn’t know. There was a lot about me he didn’t know either. “Do you think I should try?”

“Try what?” He sat up in his chair.

“Having random hook-up sex.”

“No. I don’t think you should.” He stood up. “And on that note, I’ll walk you home.”

I groaned. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Why not? I thought you were excited to be living in your sorority house.”

“I was until I realized how boring staying alone in the house over the summer would be. I also thought I’d have a roommate, but that was before she moved into your place.”

“Savy doesn’t live with me.”

“No, she lives with Glen, and he’s your roommate and she spends almost every night there. Like I said, she moved into your place.”

“Oh. I get it now.” He walked over to the door of the radio station.

“You get what?”

“Why you’re being like this.” He shut off the light and ushered me out into the hall.

“Like what?”

“You’re jealous. All of your friends have boyfriends and you don’t.”

“I’m not jealous.” I crossed my arms. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” He held open the outer door. “I’m not judging you. I’m merely stating the fact.”

“I’m not jealous.” I brushed off his words. “I’m just trying to accept that I’m fated to spend life perpetually single. I know I can take care of myself, the only thing I was wondering about was the sex.”

“You can be so incredibly weird.”

“So can you.” I bumped my shoulder into his. I’m not sure when Kyle and I actually became friends. It happened gradually after he started helping me with my radio show freshman year. Nine months later, I rarely went a day without seeing him. Unfortunately the friendly feelings had slowly grown into something different. Talking about sex with him probably wasn’t going to help, but then again I doubted it could make me want him more.

We walked silently. I didn’t try to dissuade him from walking me back to my house. I wasn’t keen on getting mugged, and he didn’t seem to mind the small detour out of his way.

He stopped right out front. “This is going to sound absolutely crazy, but I need you to agree anyway.”

“Okay.” I watched him with interest. Kyle wasn’t the type to call any of his ideas crazy. He was more likely to proclaim them as wonderful.

“If you’re ever going to seriously consider trying out the random sex thing, call me first.”

My mouth fell open. “Uh, you didn’t just say that.”

“I’m just saying I’d rather my best host not die or get badly hurt after she decides to hook up with a random guy.”

“Oh yeah? Worried about your radio station?”

“And a friend.”

“Haven’t you heard about the hazards of sleeping with a friend?” My heart was beating a mile a minute. Had Kyle offered to have sex with me? He must have had more to drink than I thought.

“They’re no worse than hooking up with a random psychopath. Or a drummer,” he mumbled.

“Wait. What?”

“Nothing.” He looked down.

“Nuh uh, I heard you. You think I was talking about having sex with Len?” Kyle made no secret of his distaste of the guy.

“He does flirt with you every chance he gets, even when he’s across the country.”

“And that means I want to sleep with him?” Admittedly I’d had a mega crush on Len Denton, drummer of Chance of a Lifetime, but if my friendship with him had taught me anything, it was that I definitely didn’t want to sleep with him. I’d have chosen Kyle for that role ten times over.

Kyle shrugged. “Just saying, I think I’d be a better choice.”

“So what am I supposed to be agreeing to then? I’ll call you if I get horny next time instead of hooking up with someone random?”

“It sounds so much worse when you say it that way.”

“Because it is that bad.” I still didn’t know if he was actually serious. The offer was so unlike Kyle I doubted it could be.

“Fine. I was just offering.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You were offering your sexual services. Got it.” I smiled. Joke or not, I had to give him a hard time about it.

“That sounds even worse.”

I put a hand on my hip. “Shall we say goodnight before it gets any worse?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“I will. After I tell all my friends.” I grinned. Teasing Kyle came so naturally.

“Don’t you dare.”

I laughed. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t do that to my enemy let alone my friend.”

“Your friends are nice and all, but they’re—”

“Scary?” I finished for him.

“Your words. Not mine.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Goodnight, Jade.”

“Goodnight. Don’t worry. I don’t think I’m going to call you tonight.”

He laughed. “I told you it was a crazy idea.”

“I’m going to call Len instead.”

“Don’t even…”

I laughed. “You really don’t have to worry about that.”

“Good.”

I headed up the front steps of my house. I knew he wouldn’t leave until he saw me walk inside.

“Jade?” he called right before I pushed open the door.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t actually think you’re destined to be alone, do you?”

“Of course not.” I forced a smile. That was exactly how I felt.