Being back in the house was strange. I was so used to spending time with Kyle and his family, the vacant house felt even emptier. In a few months the house would be filled with girls again, but for now it was just me.

I picked up my phone to text Savy. I’d promised to let her know when I made it in. I’m back. I was excited to see her, but I was also nervous about the inevitable questions that were going to come my way. I was also due the same questions from Cara. I’d been carefully avoiding her calls, like I’d been avoiding the calls from my mom. Eventually I was going to have to respond with more than a five word text: I’m fine, will call soon.

Savy didn’t answer, so I tossed my phone and started changing into gym clothes. Some time at the gym was exactly what I needed. I’d never been into working out in high school, but my friends had gotten me over the intimidation factor and now it was a major part of my stress relief.

I’d just pulled on my sports bra, tank, and shorts when the door burst open. Savy stumbled in half out of breath. “Tell me everything. Every single detail.”

I took in her sweaty form. “Did you run over here?”

“Yes! You promised to call when you got in.” She dropped her keys and phone on her perfectly made bed. She hadn’t used the bed in weeks.

“I texted you.”

“When?” She tied her long blond hair into a ponytail.

I glanced at the digital clock. “A few minutes ago.”

“You’ve been here more than a few minutes. I’ve already seen Kyle.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“Come on. Spill.” She took a seat on my desk chair. “Don’t spare any of the details.”

“I already gave you some details.”

“You gave me the cliff notes. No scratch that. You gave me the cheap imposter kind of cliff notes that probably don’t even get all the details right.”

“I experienced it, so I assume I got the details right.”

“Come on,” she groaned. “What happened?”

“You know what happened. We had sex. Many times.” I didn’t fight the blush I knew was covering my face. This was Savy. I could be open with her.

“Ok, how was it the first time? Romantic? Drunken?”

“Completely sober. Hot. It started with an amazing kiss when we were out for a walk. It’s hard to describe, but there’s a spark between us.” Kyle made me smile more than anyone else I’d ever met. I felt such a connection with him that made me want to open up to him completely. I couldn’t, but I’d never been so tempted before. At least I had a week of incredible memories.

“Ok, we’re finally getting somewhere.” She pulled her legs up to sit cross-legged.

“There isn’t much else to say except it was amazing.”

“So what now? You guys are a couple?” She nearly bounced in the chair.

“No.”

“I’m going to kill him.” She jumped to her feet, the excitement quickly turning into anger.

“Whoa there nelly. No killing him. We’re both setting the pace. Neither of us want a relationship.”

“Uh…. Why?” She looked at me like I had two heads.

“It’s easier that way. It will make it easier when he inevitably decides he’s ready to move on.”

“First of all, why would moving on be inevitable? You’re gorgeous and perfect for him. And secondly, how in the world would that make it easier?” She narrowed her eyes.

“He won’t be an ex. We can go back to being friends without the sex.”

“Are you ill?” She strode over and put a hand to my forehead as if to check my temperature. “Or maybe delusional? Nothing you are saying makes any sense.”

“I want him to make sure he actually likes me before we make this anything more.”

“Ok, I’m kind of getting it.” She sat down next to me. “You’re trying to make sure you can save face if he decides to break up with you?”

“But see, if we’re not in a relationship it wouldn’t be a break-up. I hate break ups. I hate everything about them.” On top of all the internal pain, you also had to deal with the public humiliation. The combination was nearly deadly.

“But your fear of break-ups can’t keep your from having a relationship, and besides, I know from experience whether you call it a real break-up or not, ending anything hurts.

“I know, but it’s not as public.”

“Jade, are you even listening to yourself?”

“Sort of.” I pulled my running shoes out and slipped them on.

“Do yourself a favor. Use your work out to do some thinking. Don’t ruin something good out of fear.”

“I’m not ruining anything.” I closed my closet door with a little bit too much effort.

“When are you going to see him again?”

“We’re going over to the station later, and then I’m going over for dinner.”

“Nice. A side bonus of all of this is that we’re dating roommates.”

“I’m not dating Kyle.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re dating Kyle.”

“Just let me handle this my way. We’re exclusive so don’t even go down that line of thought.”

She held up her hands. “Ok, that’s something, and I can’t stop you. I’m trying to help.”

“You obviously got your workout running over here, but mind if I go do mine?”

“Not at all. I’ll walk over with you.”

“Thanks.” I grabbed my keys and water bottle and headed back outside. I’d never needed a workout more.

---

The gym was nearly empty. It was one of the perks of being on campus in the summer. I missed the hustle and bustle sometimes, but I didn’t mind showing up at the gym in the middle of the afternoon to find absolutely no lines for any of the equipment.

I started off with my cardio, happily jumping onto an elliptical while I listened to my gym play list. Savy had told me to use my gym time to think about what I really wanted with Kyle, but I wanted to do the opposite. I wanted to push everything from my mind and focus on the workout. It was the only time I could manage to clear my mind and focus on the moment.

After thirty minutes I downed some water and headed over to the weight room. The weight room was a little bit busier than the cardio area, but the free weights I needed were available.

“Hey, you’re Jade, right?” I turned around to find a guy who I’d had some classes with freshman year.

I adjusted a weight in my hand. “Yes. Hi. I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.”

He laughed. “I’ll pretend that doesn’t sting. I’m Ray. We had –”

“Psychology and Biology together last year.” I decided to redeem myself.

“Right. Ok, so I wasn’t completely invisible to you.”

“Sorry, I’m really bad at names.” It had taken me weeks to memorize the names of all the girls in my sorority.

“So you’re here for the summer too?”

“Yeah, it seemed better than going home.”

“I know the feeling.” He shifted his weight from foot to foot. “You’re really into music, right? You have that show on the radio.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. I loved when people knew that. It was my one claim to fame on campus.

“Cool. Maybe we could go listen to music sometime?”

“Oh. Um.” Talk about awkward. How had this gone from a random discussion to him asking me out? I was so out of my element I didn’t know what to do.

“Is that a yes?” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“No. I’m kind of seeing someone.”

“You have a boyfriend?” His voice was more suspicious than disappointed.

“Not exactly, but it’s exclusive.”

“Ok, if that doesn’t work out, let me know.” He frowned.

“It’s going to work out.” I startled as Kyle looped a hand around my waist. “I wouldn’t waste your time waiting.”

“Kyle? This is the guy you’re kind of seeing?” Ray asked.

“Yes, you have a problem with that?” Kyle tightened his hold.

“No, I’m just surprised. Remember what I said, Jade.” Ray walked off.

“Uh, hi.” I couldn’t ignore my excitement at seeing Kyle again. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head.

Kyle turned me around so I was looking at him. “Was that guy bothering you?”

“No. It’s fine. We had some classes together last year.”

“You’re too irresistible for your own good. We’ve been back on campus a few hours and someone’s already asking you out. And there’s almost no one here.”

“Maybe that’s why. The pickings are slim.” He didn’t need to paint me as some sort of guy magnet. I wasn’t at all.

“You’d never be just a fall back.”

“I never once had a date to a date party last year.” I wasn’t sure why I was admitting such an embarrassing detail, but I did. Kyle seemed to have a very warped view of me.

“Only because you made yourself seem unapproachable.”

“I did not.” I stepped back.

“Did so. Why do you think I never asked you out?”

“You were dating Abby.” I crossed my arms.

“Only for a few months.” He held out his hands palm out.

“You could have asked me out anytime.”

“Don’t feel bad about not having dates by the way. I had to beg Cara to go as mine once.”

“I remember that.”

“I forget you girls tell each other everything.” He shook his head.

“You should probably try to remember that from now on.”

“I’ll try.”

“Mind if I finish lifting?” I adjusted the weight in my hand.

“By all means. I’ll do the same.”

“But then I can’t concentrate.”

“Why not? I’m not going to bother you.”

“I’ll end up staring at you.” Kyle was very distracting.

“I’m not apologizing for that. It’s not like you’re only allowed to look.”

“Stay a good distance away.”

He laughed, and I went back to working out. I forced my eyes to stay on the weights, and before long I was done.

Kyle strolled over. He was sweaty, and the sweat made him look even hotter. “Feel like saving water?”

“Saving water?”

“Yeah, we both need to shower…”

“I’m not going over to your place to shower.” Not that it sounded bad, I just needed to ease my way back to normalcy. Besides, showering at his place with Savy around felt weird.

“I had to try.” He grinned.

I attempted to calm my racing heart. “No you didn’t, but I give you points for trying to tie it into an environmental issue.”

“Trying to? I completely succeeded.”

“Are you two already arguing like an old married couple?” Glen walked over shaking his head. “I thought that was going to take at least a few more weeks.”

“Nice to see you too, Glen.” I pretended to pout. I hadn’t known Glen for long, but I’d liked him immediately. He was such an easy guy to get along with, and he was perfect for Savy.

“I’m glad to see that Savy didn’t kill you with all her questions.”

“She actually went pretty easy on me.”

“Probably because she spent all week asking me questions I couldn’t possibly answer.”

“I’m sure you survived.”

“I did. I’m still loving the whole non-long distance thing.” He grinned.

“I bet.” Savy and Glen had dated long distance for six months, and I had a feeling they’d never do it again.

“You guys heading out already?”

“I don’t know about him.” I pointed to Kyle. “But I am.”

Kyle nodded. “I’m still trying to talk her into a shower, so I’m going too.”

I nudged Kyle.

“What? Now I can’t joke about sex?”

“Not to other people,” I hissed.

“It’s just Glen.”

“So, he’s still a person.”

Glen laughed. “See you later, guys.”

I waved at Glen before heading down the stairs. I assumed Kyle would follow.

“Mind if we push off your cooking lesson for the evening?” he asked.

“Not at all.”

“How’d I know you were going to say that?”

I shrugged. “But what for?”

“Glen wanted to grill, sounded good to me.”

“Works well. Should we split to shower and then meet up at the station?”

“Sounds good. Not the split to shower part, but the meeting up after.”

I smiled. “I think you can handle showering alone.”

“I’ll try my best.”

We walked silently back toward my house. It was the first awkward silence we’d fallen into, and I hoped it wasn’t a sign of what was to come.

Kyle stopped in front of my house. “Meet you at the station in a half hour?”

“Can we make it forty-five?”

“You never took long showers this week.”

“But now I’m home.” I was looking forward to a long, hot shower.

“Are you trying to tell me you were putting on a ‘low maintenance’ show for me?”

“I guess you’ll have to wait to find out.” I ran up the steps to the house. I turned back before walking inside and smiled. He was still watching.