The first day back at the station was the strangest. We weren’t doing our regular shows during the summer, so instead of interviewing bands I was introducing listeners to new music. I tended to always go for the indie and underground groups, and Kyle never seemed to have a problem with it. He was good at his job. He made sure things ran smoothly, but otherwise he let the hosts exercise their creativity.

I took my time getting in for my first hour on Monday morning. I usually showed up early as an excuse to see Kyle, but I didn’t need to make excuses to see him anymore. I smiled as I thought about how cute he’d looked when I left his bed that morning. We’d gotten spoiled with a king sized bed at the hotel, and his double was taking some time to get used to. I didn’t mind. I liked being close.

I heard Kyle talking as soon as I pushed open the door to the station. I hesitated in the doorway. He was talking to Sean, another host. I tentatively walked further inside.

Sean winked as soon as he saw me. “Hey, Jade. Next time try not to take your time off at the same time as Kyle. You left me hanging.”

“Oh yeah, sure.” Did the wink mean he knew? I was too tired to read into it. The one downside to staying at Kyle’s was that I didn’t get as much sleep.

“Sorry, she can’t agree to that.” Kyle walked over and put an arm around me.

“Wait. Are you guys…?” Sean looked between us as a slow smile spread across his face.

“Yes,” Kyle said at the exact same time I said, “Kind of.”

Sean laughed. “So which is it?”

“We’re letting things happen naturally.” Kyle ran his hand up and down my back. I wondered if that was his way of making sure I didn’t argue.

Sean’s brow wrinkled. “And that means?”

“It means I’m sleeping with him.” I stepped away from Kyle’s embrace and walked back to my desk in the inner office. Maybe I was a little bit blunt, but I wasn’t going to beat around the bush and start any false rumors. Right now Kyle was entertained by me. He’d get bored by the time the rest of the student body returned.

I heard the door close behind me.

“You’re sleeping with me?” Kyle said to my back. I wasn’t turning around.

“I am.”

“I think my ‘we’re letting it happen naturally’ explanation fits better.”

“Tomato, tomato.”

“Jade.” His voice came from right behind me. I fought the urge to turn around. “Look at me.”

“Why?”

“Come on.” He gave a heavy sigh.

I finally turned around. I needed to get ready for my show so I’d have to turn around eventually. “Yes?”

“You don’t need to be so self-deprecating. I like you. You like me. If you want me to start calling you my girlfriend I’m fine with that.”

“I never asked you to do that.” I tried to ignore the tightness in my chest at the mention of the word girlfriend.

“Ok, then how about this? I’m asking you to let me call you it.” His eyes bore into mine.

“Why?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“No.” I crossed my arms.

“I like you a lot. We work. Why not just make this more official?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I wasn’t ready to take that risk yet unless I knew he really wanted it.

“Why not?” His body stiffened.

“I have to get ready.” I hurried toward the booth.

“We’re not done with this conversation.”

“We are for now.” I closed the door to the booth and got ready. I had no idea what to say to Kyle. I refused to let him call me his girlfriend out of some sense of obligation or guilt. He didn’t need to. It was easier to call it what it was.

“I’m going to join you.” Kyle sat down next to me and put on a set of headphones.

“I can do it myself.” I paid way more attention than necessary to checking over the set list.

“I know that, but I’m joining you anyway.”

“Fine, if you want to waste your time.” I rolled my eyes. Why was he being like this? The whole point of avoiding a relationship was avoiding the drama. Well, and avoiding the pain.

I waited until exactly ten before putting us on air. “Good morning, Charleston. I hope everyone is doing well on this beautiful Monday morning. The only thing that could make this gorgeous day any better is some new music. So how about it? Let’s start with some new Pearberry that just dropped last week.” I switched on the new single from a local band I’d grown to love.

As soon as I turned off my mic Kyle touched my hand. “About me calling you my girlfriend?”

“I only want you to do it if you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

“The right reasons being?” He narrowed his eyes.

“You know.”

“I think I do, except I’m struggling to come up with any wrong reasons.”

“You’re only doing it because you think you have to.” I checked the time on the track. “You don’t.” The Chance of a Lifetime tune Sex on the Beach was up next.

“I’m doing it because I want to… does that clear things up?”

“What about letting things happen naturally?” I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t.

“This is letting them happen naturally… and I’m not okay with people thinking I’m using you for sex or something.”

“So now the truth comes out. You’re only saying this because of Sean. You’re worried he’s going to think less of you.”

“No. You know what? You want to wait longer before attaching a relationship label? Fine.” He tossed his headphones aside and stormed out of the booth.

I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. I wished I could see into his mind. What did he actually want? What did I want? I was crazy about Kyle, I loved the way he made me feel, but I wasn’t sure if that was enough.