I should have said no to the beach trip. I should have stepped back before it became even harder to stay away, but I couldn’t. I wanted to go, and without thinking things through, I agreed. Every time I told myself I needed to stay away—to stop myself, I couldn’t. It was like I was addicted. It’s not like he ever treated me badly. He was the opposite, but the harder I tried to stop myself from falling for him, the worse I made it. Dylan’s words constantly echoed in my head, and memories of the last time I gave someone my heart crushed me like a ton of bricks until I couldn’t breathe. It was so much easier to focus on the sex. I wanted to be brave and take a chance on Kyle, but I was terrified.

I shrugged off my doubts as I packed for the night away. No matter what happened, a day at the beach sounded great. Besides, we couldn’t keep things the way they were forever. Before we knew it the new semester would be starting, and I needed to know where we were at before that happened.

Kyle picked me up much the same way he did before we left for Lake George, but this time things were completely different. He kissed me on the lips as soon as I walked out on the front porch. “Ready for some fun in the sun?”

“Fun in the sun? Sometimes you’re a walking advertisement.”

“Should I be emphasizing another part of this trip? How about for some fun in the sheets?”

I let him take my bag. “Stick with the fun in the sun.”

“Good. I’m excited to see what bikini you packed.” He put my small bag in the back of the car.

“How do you know I packed a bikini?” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen me in one, it’s what I wore at the lake, but it was still fun to tease him. That was one thing that hadn’t changed.

“Because I’ve never seen you in a one piece.”

“I packed a few options.”

“Options are always good.” He held open the passenger door.

I slipped in and buckled while I waited for him to go around.

“I’m glad you said yes.” He started the car.

“Yes to the first trip, or this one?”

“Both.” He took my hand in his. “I’m glad you said yes to everything.”

 

The drive out to Kiawah was quiet and beautiful, and despite the humidity, I rolled down my window to enjoy the slight breeze and the scenery. Air conditioning is nice, but it takes away from the real experience.

Kyle held my hand for nearly the entire forty-five minute drive out, pointing out a few sites along the way. After driving through two security gates, Kyle pulled into the driveway. “We’re here.”

We got out, and I climbed the steep front steps while I waited for Kyle to unlock the front door. The house was large and open, the main living area was all one space. There were doors all over that I assumed led to bedrooms and bathrooms, but I didn’t spend much time exploring. We quickly got changed and made the small walk to the beach. I paused to look at a large turtle swimming in a lagoon.

“Let’s hope a gator doesn’t get him,” Kyle teased.

“Are there a lot of alligators here?” I asked.

“Tons, but I’ll protect you.” He waggled an eyebrow.

“Good because I was really nervous.” I bumped my shoulder into his.

The beach was flat and covered with firm sand. It was the kind of sand that would make good sandcastles, not that I planned to make one.

I wasted no time laying out my towel. We’d gotten a late start, and I didn’t want to waste a minute of beach time. Kyle laid his towel down right on top of mine. I didn’t mind, although with the beating sun, I knew it was going to get hot.

The afternoon passed quickly, and I lay down on my back to take a quick nap. I woke up sometime later, and found Kyle staring at me.

“You do know this isn't how normal people date.” I pulled down my sunglasses onto my eyes from where they'd been sitting on the top of my head.

“What do you mean? I took you out for a day at the beach, and then we'll go home for dinner.” He sat up on his elbows.

I tried not to stare at his chest too much. I would never get tired of seeing him without his shirt on. “Well, it's a nice date.”

“Wait. Are you officially calling this a date?”

“Maybe.” I bit back a smile.

“Only maybe? I guess that means I need to try harder with dinner.”

“What are we having for dinner?” I rolled over onto my stomach.

“Kebabs and a chocolate torte for dessert.”

“When did you go shopping?”

“This morning.”

“Wait.” I sat up. “You came all the way out here this morning?”

“It’s less than an hour drive.”

“Each way.”

“I wanted to make tonight special.” His brown hair fell into his eyes. He’d let it grow out longer than I’d ever seen it.

“You’re sweet.”

“So are you.” He brushed his lips against mine.

“I’m not sure we’re talking about the same kind of sweet.”

“I don’t think we are.” His eyes twinkled.

I glanced around at the kids playing in a tidal pool a little ways down the beach. “I’m ready to head back to the house.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” He stood up and held out a hand to help me up. After shaking the sand off the towels, we made the short walk back to his parents’ house. It still amazed me that I was seeing a guy wealthy enough to have a beach house.

We rinsed off in the outdoor shower before walking inside.

“Think you got all the sand off outside, or do you need another shower?” He grinned.

“I think I’m good. All that dinner talk got me hungry.”

“I can make us a snack or a drink. Whatever.”

“You’re really aiming to please today.”

He put his hands on my waist over the towel I had wrapped around me. “I always aim to please.”

---

After a fabulous dinner, a shared bottle of wine, and a starry night walk on the beach, we eventually made it to bed. I was exhausted from the sun, but excited to spend a night with Kyle when I wasn’t worried about Savy and Glen overhearing.

“Could you get naked already?” I teased Kyle. He was taking his time that night.

“In a hurry, are you?” He grinned before running his lips down my neck. “I don’t see any reason to rush things tonight.”

“Of course you don’t. As usual I’m the one who wants it more.” I was only half kidding.

“Is that what you think?” He moved over me. His grin widened. “That I don’t want you?”

I nodded, ignoring that I was only in a bra and underwear while he still had his shorts on.

“It’s exactly the opposite.” He gently pulled one of my bra straps down my shoulder. “I don’t like rushing things. I want to savor every moment.”

“I could understand if this was the first time, but it’s not. We do this all the time now.”

“We do. Don’t we?” He pulled down my other bra strap. “Funny how that happened.”

“You know very well how it happened.” I tried to calm down my body. No guy had ever made me want them more than Kyle. You’d think after all the times we spent together I wouldn’t be as affected, but it had only gotten worse.

“Do I?” He unbuttoned his shorts before getting up just enough to toss them off.

“Yes. You do.”

He left tiny kisses on my shoulder while he reached around and unclasped my bra. “Was it because you threatened to start having random hook-up sex?”

“No. It was because you made me pretend to be your fake girlfriend.”

“Made you?” He tossed my bra where he’d thrown his pants. “I seem to remember you agreeing without a fight.”

“That’s not how I remember it.”

His mouth descended on my breast. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He lifted up his head. “Then maybe we should stop. If you don’t actually want to be with me, then we shouldn’t be doing this.”

I pulled his head back down. “We should be doing this.” I didn’t actually believe the words, but I didn’t care. I needed him, and I wanted to believe he needed me.

He grazed my nipple with his teeth. “Why should we be?”

“Because we work. This works.” I reached into his boxers and took him in my hand.

He groaned. “Stop trying to distract me.”

“You are already distracting me.”

“You want distracting?” He hooked his finger in the side of my panties.

“Yes, distraction is good.”

“I knew you were going to say that.” He slowly eased my panties out of his way.

“Distract me.” I let go of him, so he’d have all the attention he needed.

“Are you sure?” He pushed the cotton material slightly further down.

“Completely sure.”

He brushed his lips against my shoulder. “Then tell me the truth.”

“The truth about what?” I breathed out. Just having his hand that close to me was making me hot. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to wait.

“Why you agreed to pretend to be my girlfriend.” He slid my panties all the way down to my ankles. I kicked them off before he could get any idea about putting them back on.

“Because I liked you, and it was a free trip.” He ran his finger along my inner thigh.

“And now? Do you still ‘like me’?”

“If I admit that my feelings for you go beyond sex, will you stop teasing and get busy?”

He grinned. “Say it as more of a statement.”

“My feelings for you go way beyond like.”

“Way beyond?” He kissed me gently.

“Yes.”

“And does that go beyond sex?” His eyes locked with mine.

“Yes.”

He kissed me hard on the lips. “I’ve waited so long to hear that.”

“Now it’s your turn.”

“You already know it, but why not? Jade, my feelings for you are deeper than the world will ever know.”

I pushed up against his chest. “Be serious. If I’m being honest, so are you.”

“I’m crazy about you Jade, and it only gets stronger every day.”

“We’re going to work. This is going to work,” I said to convince myself.

“Of course we are.”

Kyle’s phone rang from where he’d left it in the kitchen. He ignored it.

“You know if we’re really together that means you’re only my second boyfriend.”

“Yeah? I like the number two.”

“I don’t want to know what I am for you.”

“You’re the only one who counts.” He ran his lips over my ear.

His phone rang again.

“Maybe you should get that.”

“Weren’t you the one telling me to hurry up?”

“Yes, yes I was.”

“Whoever it is can wait.”

“I feel honored.”

He moved above me. “You should feel honored. You’re always going to come first with me.”

---

“Is it me, or was it even better that time?” He ran his hands through my tangled hair.

“It was.”

“It’s amazing what honesty can do.”

“Says the guy who had me pretend to be his girlfriend.”

“It turns out that was honest.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“I mean things can be so much more intense when we’re open with each other.”

“I agree.”

“Does that mean you’ll finally tell me?” He ran his lips along the sensitive spot on my neck.

“Tell you what?” I shivered from the contact of his lips. He knew exactly where to touch me.

“Why you were afraid.”

“I wasn’t aware I was afraid.”

“Savy told me.”

“Told you what?” I sat up.

He sighed. “Don’t get mad, but she told me you were afraid I was going to get bored and walk away from you.”

“I told her that privately.” I couldn’t believe she’d betray me like that.

“If it helps, it was an accident. She didn’t mean to tell me.”

“Uh huh.”

“And it helped. I was going crazy trying to figure it out.”

“It was still private.”

“Don’t be mad. She cares about you.”

“I know.” I wouldn’t stay mad for long. Savy was unnaturally invested in Kyle and me getting together. Cara was too. She’d have probably done something similar if she weren’t across the country.

“So? Why were you?”

“Because I’ve been hurt before.” I lay back down next to Kyle.

“By who?” He ran his hand down my back.

“The guy I dated in high school.” I couldn’t believe I was admitting any of this.

“What happened?” Kyle encouraged me to continue.

“I fell really hard, and well, he didn’t. Not even when I told him I was pregnant.”

“You were pregnant?” Kyle looked at me funny. “You’ve got a kid?”

“I had a miscarriage. It happened right after I found out he’d already moved on—to my best friend. I always wondered if I hadn’t gotten so upset, would it have turned out differently?” My body went numb thinking about it. No matter how much time passed it still hurt.

He took my hands in his. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that… but you have to know it wasn’t your fault.”

I shrugged. “I guess I successfully ruined the mood for tonight.”

“No. You didn’t ruin it.”

“I did. Why don’t you fix it? Tell me something happy.”

“Something happy?” He continued to run his fingers up and down my arm. “Okay. When I think happy I think about my grandfather’s old hunting cabin. Dylan and I used to spend a few weeks there in the summer, and it’s like all of our cares and worries disappeared. It was so relaxing, so tranquil. I haven’t been back in years, but it’s my favorite place and I’ll have to take you some time.”

“Sounds nice. I like tranquil.”

“I know. I saw you on that hike.”

I rested my head on his chest.

“I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, Jade.”

“Yeah well, life involves hurt.”

“It does. It involves a lot of hurt,” he mumbled.

I turned to look at him better. “Do you know that from experience?”

“Let’s not go there. We’re supposed to be focusing on the good now. Life involves hurt, but it also involves happiness and love.”

“It does.” I wanted him to keep talking, but I didn’t want to push him and ruin the night. Things were going to work, we’d figure it out. I squeezed his hand, and I could have stayed in that moment forever.