I called Kyle a few times. It was my chicken attempt at doing what I’d promised Grace. I didn’t have the nerve to go back to his apartment yet. I had no clue how I was going to convince him to speak to his mom again and go to the funeral, but I would even if it meant talking through a closed door.

I couldn’t help but wonder why he’d never told me about the depression. I refused to get upset. He must have had his reasons. I didn’t believe he was embarrassed though. How could he ever be embarrassed with me? I’d never judged him for anything. But maybe it had nothing to do with reality. Like my fear of him leaving me if I gave a relationship a chance. Fear can change you and mess you up so much that you barely resemble the person you once were.

My phone rang again, and this time I didn’t even consider that it could be Kyle. I knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

I glanced at the screen. It was Savy. “Hi.”

“Jade…he left.”

“What?” I jumped to my feet. I’d been sitting on the couch for hours. “What do you mean he left?”

“He took off and literally left Glen in the dust.” Savy’s voice fell.

“Did he say where he was going?” I chewed on my nails again. What was going on? Where would Kyle go without telling anyone?

“No. He just said he was getting out of town.”

“Oh.” I stuffed my hand into my pocket. If I bit my nails anymore they’d be down to my cuticles.

“I’m sorry, Jade. Glen tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. And I’m sorry he’s taking this out on you.”

“What do you mean he’s taking it out on me?” What was she getting at?

“Well, he also said some not so nice stuff to Glen, but I don’t want to upset you.”

“You’re already upsetting me.” I hated when people brought something up like that but didn’t follow through.

“He made some comments about you getting the hint when he left.”

“Great.” I was mad. I knew he was going through an absolutely horrible experience, but did he have to close me out that way? The anger begged to become hurt, but I wouldn’t let it. “He really didn’t give any hint of where he was going?”

“No. Just that he wanted to get out of town.”

I thought back to the night at the beach. “Do you think Glen would let me borrow his car?”

“Probably, but why? Do you know where he is?”

“I think so. I’m going to put some mileage on it. Is that okay?”

“Here, talk to him.”

“Jade?” Glen’s voice filled my ear. “What’s up?”

“Can I borrow your car? I need to try to find him.”

“Yes…” Glen answered slowly. “But try not to total it.”

“Very funny.” I wasn’t in the mood for a joke.

“When do you need it?”

“As soon as possible.” I didn’t want to be pushy, but I couldn’t wait. I had to find Kyle.

“All right. I’ll go fill up my car and bring it over to the Delta Mu house.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah I do. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

I replaced my phone in my pocket and ran upstairs. Savy was lucky. She had a great boyfriend.

I packed a bag and called Dana on my way downstairs. I couldn’t bare talk to Grace again until I’d done what I promised.

Dana picked up right away. “Hi. Any news?”

“Where is your grandfather’s hunting cabin?” I’m not sure how I knew for sure, but I did. He was upset which meant he’d be searching for a place he felt safe and happy. That was the cabin for him.

“In Virginia. Why?”

“I think Kyle went there.”

“He left town?”

“Yes. His roommate told me. I’ve got a car, and I want to find him.” I wasn’t going to waste time beating around the bush.

“I’ll text you the address, but are you sure you want to do that drive? What if it turns out he’s not there?”

“I have to at least try.” I owed it to Kyle and to Grace. I also owed it to myself. I couldn’t give up on him.

“Kyle’s lucky to have you.”

“People need to stop saying that.”

“Why? It’s true.”

“He doesn’t think so.”

“What?” She seemed genuinely taken aback.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dana had enough on her plate.

“You two are the real deal. Don’t sweat it.”

“If you say so.” I hoped she was right, but it wasn’t the time to worry about it. “I’ll let you know if I find him.”

“Be safe.”

“I will be.” I walked outside to wait for Glen to arrive with his car.

Five minutes later Glen’s Outback pulled to a stop in front of me. Savy was in the passenger seat. Glen got out and walked around to take my bag from me. Savy darted into the house. I watched her retreating figure before turning back to Glen. “Thanks so much for letting me borrow the car.”

“There’s been a change in plans.”

“Oh?” He wasn’t backing out. He couldn’t be.

“Really it’s been the plan all along, but I wanted to avoid the arguing until the last minute.”

“What do you mean? You are letting me use the car, right?” I tried to keep my voice steady. I needed the car. I needed to find Kyle.

“We’re coming with you. Savy went inside to pack an overnight bag in case we don’t come back tonight. You made it sound like a long drive.”

“Wait, what? You guys don’t have to do that.”

“We’re not letting you go alone. Besides, this way I don’t have to worry about you totaling my car.” He smiled, but I could tell he was forcing the joke.

“Are you sure?” I couldn’t deny some relief at the thought of the company. Doing a long drive by myself didn’t sound appealing.

“Completely sure.” He rested a hand on the hood of the car. “You’re not in this alone.”

Savy reappeared a moment later with a backpack. “Sorry that took so long.”

“You were gone two minutes.” I smiled for the first time in days.

“Ok, good. I tried to rush.” She pulled me into a bear hug. “Ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I opened the door to the passenger side backseat and got in.

Glen leaned in before I could close the door. “I tried to clean it out back there.”

“It’s fine.” Getting in the car meant I was one step closer to finding Kyle. If my guess was correct. It had to be. I wasn’t willing to accept another answer.

“You’re easy.” He closed the door and got in. “Did you print out a map or are we GPSing this?”

“I’ve got it set in my phone.” I thought ahead. I didn’t want to waste any time.

“Either way I bet we have to get on I-26.” Glen pulled away from the curb.

I took another look at the house as we drove off. I closed my eyes. I hoped that when I came back the next time I’d have Kyle by my side. It had been a long time since I’d wanted something more.

---

Six hours and one stop later Glen turned down a long dirt road. “Are you sure this is it?” Rain poured down on the car as he slowly eased us forward.

“It’s the only turn we’ve seen. I guess we can keep driving a little, and we can always turn around.” I didn’t want to lead us into the middle of nowhere, but I refused to give up when we were so close.

“Maybe try the cousin.” Glen suggested. “Just make sure this sounds right.”

“All right.” I tried Dana but the call didn’t go through. I looked at my phone. No service. “Yeah, we’re in the boonies.”

“I’m going to pretend this isn’t freaky. I mean, middle of nowhere, no cell service, and a major thunderstorm.” Savy glanced at me warily.

“It’s not a major thunderstorm.”

As if in answer a large crack of thunder filled the air. It was loud enough to drown out the sound of the car pushing through the increasingly muddy terrain.

“What’s that up there?” I peered out into the dark night. If I wasn’t mistaken there was a light.

“This is the start of so many horror movies.” Savy wrapped her arms around her.

“We’re fine.” Glen put a hand on her leg. “We’ll check this out.” He drove around toward the light.

“Look, it says Bradley on the mailbox!” A wave of excitement gave me a new dose of energy. “See, we’re not in a horror movie.”

“Do you want us to go in with you?” Glen put the car in park as close to the cabin as he could get.

“No. I need to do this alone.” I could see several lights on in the cabin, so at least I knew he was really there. That both filled me with relief and terrified me.

“We’re not leaving until we see you’re inside.”

I nodded. “And there’s a good chance he’s not opening that door.”

“He can’t leave you standing in the rain.” Savy seemed way more confident about the situation than I did.

“I’m going to hope you’re right.” I opened the car door and dashed to the door of the large cabin. Even with my speed, I still managed to get soaked. I glanced back at the car before mustering the confidence to knock.