Dropping Jade off after our night away was easier than the last time I dropped her off. I knew she was ready to give us a shot, and that was all I needed. Sure, there would be road blocks, like segueing back into the regular school year, but we could handle it. We could handle it all.

I was flying on cloud nine as I drove back to my apartment. The sex had been even better the night before. She wasn’t holding back with me and it showed. I couldn’t wait to see what our next night together would bring. Just thinking about it had me grinning, and I didn’t care one bit. After weeks of uncertainty, I finally had what I wanted.

It was late enough in the morning that most people were at work, so I was able to get a good parking spot right out front of my building. I locked my car and ran up to my apartment.

“Glen?” I called out as I opened the door. I couldn’t remember if he had class or not.

He didn’t answer so I went right to my room. I finished unpacking my bag before I finally picked up my phone. I had three missed calls and a couple of messages. They were all from the night before and all from my brother. I’d been right to ignore the calls. He was probably wasted and asking for more money. Still, I had to listen.

I hit play on the first message. Hey Kyle, you around? I need to talk to you.

Nothing new there. I skipped to the next one. I really need to talk to you. Where the hell are you?

And then the last one. Call me the fuck back. I have to talk to you now.

I tossed my phone on the bed while I started to boot up my laptop. What would it be this time? More gambling debts? More stupid decisions at the company? I needed to call him back, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to pretend my life was normal for a few minutes.

My phone rang. I expected to see Dylan’s name on the screen, but it was my dad’s. He never called. He always made my mom do it.

“Dad?” I said his name hesitantly. I had to be in some kind of trouble for him to be calling.

“Kyle.” He said my name formally. “I have some news.”

“What kind of news?” My chest tightened. No news from Dad was going to be good.

“Not the good kind.” His voice was strained.

“Is everything okay?” My body went numb. I thought over the messages from Dylan. Had he gone and done something stupid? Had he been arrested or was he in more trouble with Russo?

“It’s your brother,” Dad choked out, and if I wasn’t imagining things I’d have thought he were crying.

“What about Dylan?” My mouth went dry.

Dad didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he cleared his throat. “He’s gone.”

“What?” I pushed the phone more firmly against my ear. “Like he’s missing?”

“No. He’s gone, Kyle. His car went off a bridge.”

I couldn’t be hearing right. “That’s not possible. Why are you saying that?”

“I’m saying it because someone has to. Someone had to tell you, and your mother can barely speak.” He fell into silence, and I knew he was trying to compose himself. “We’re having the funeral down in Charleston where the family plot is.”

“No. There’s got to be a mistake. Is this some kind of joke?” I checked the screen of the phone again. It displayed my dad’s name, and it was his voice, but my dad would never mess with me like that. Dylan was the only one who’d joke about something like that. Was this all Dylan’s idea? Scare me into caring or something?

“There’s no mistake, and I need you to hold yourself together for your mother’s sake.”

“Hold myself together? You just told me my brother’s dead.” I felt the sting of tears in my eyes.

“And my son is dead, but there are some things a man has to do. I’ll be in contact with all the details.” He hung up.

My body went cold. This couldn’t be real. I had to be sleeping or something. Dylan dead? It made no sense.

I pressed play on the message from earlier again.

Hey Kyle, you around? I need to talk to you.

I really need to talk to you. Where the hell are you?

Call me the fuck back. I have to talk to you now.

Dad had said his car went off the bridge. Was that purposeful? Had I ignored his calls to what, fuck a girl?

I felt the blackness setting in, spreading around me. It had been months, almost years since I’d felt it and this time I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. Dylan was dead, and I’d done nothing to help him. He’d called me. I’d ignored his plea for help because I was too busy with a girl. Too busy with a girl who I’d had to spend over a month convincing that she even really liked me.

All of the times I’d helped Dylan were worthless now because I wasn’t there for him when he needed me most. I’d failed him, and I’d failed my family.

I dropped my phone. I didn’t know what to do. What to feel. The darkness swirled around me again, and I gave in. What was the use of fighting it anyway?