“How’d you do on your finals?” Nora asks, glancing over her shoulder. I just walked into the Kellers’ house, and Nora and Stephanie are preoccupied decorating their Christmas tree. Their fifth Christmas tree, I should say, and the second one in the living room. The yearly decoration judging is coming up soon, and they think four full-sized trees isn’t going to cut it. They have one in the sunroom, one in the dining room, one at the top of the stairs, and now two in the living room. It’s crazy, but it’s Nora. So I love it.

“All right,” I say, admiring Nora while I take my shoes off. She’s wearing black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. Her hair is in a messy braid over her shoulder, and she doesn’t have a bit of makeup on.

She’s fucking gorgeous.

Nora steps back from the Christmas tree and shakes her head. “I’m not crazy about the way the ribbon looks. I’d rather cut it into three-foot sections and work it down in a very slight diagonal pattern.”

Stephanie nods. “Yeah, as much as I don’t want to undo what we did, I totally agree.” She meets my eyes and smiles. “I’ll take it off. You two can go talk.” She wiggles her eyebrows at Nora, who laughs in response. We’ve been doing a lot of talking lately. Both the real kind and the nonverbal naked kind, though I know that’s not what Stephanie’s referring to.

Nora needs the distraction and extra support right now. Christmas is still hard for her, and this is the first year her grandma is gone—really gone. But like the strong woman she is, Nora has readjusted everything around her and embraced her new normal.

The girl knows what she wants and goes for it. And she wants to be happy. I like to think I’ve had a hand in helping her get there.

“What about your math final?” Nora gets off the step ladder and comes to me. I give her a quick kiss, holding my hand behind my back.

“I knew the material, thanks to a rather annoyingly persistent tutor.”

She smiles and slides her hand under my jacket. “Take this off. Stay a while.”

“I will.” I bring my hand out from behind my back. “As long as you take the mail for me. The truck pulled up right as I walked over. You got a few things.” It takes a lot of effort not to lose my shit right now. I’m so fucking in love with this girl, and so incredibly proud of her.

“Oh my God.” Nora takes the mail, body tensing. “Two. I got two.”

“Two of what, honey?” Stephanie pulls glittery silver ribbon from the tree.

“Big envelopes.” The excitement on her face disappears and she thrusts the envelopes forward. “Open them for me. I’m too scared.”

I take her shaking hand in mine and lead her to the couch. “You got in, babe. They wouldn’t send the big envelopes if you didn’t.”

“He’s right.” Stephanie sits on Nora’s other side. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Guys, chill. Don’t celebrate yet. There’s still a chance it’s a no.”

“Just open it.” I push the envelopes back into her hands. “You’ll see.”

Nora bites her lip, moving her head up and down. “Should I wait for Doug?”

Stephanie wrinkles her nose. “Nah. I’m too anxious. Rip ‘em open, hun!”

“Okay.” She inhales and looks at the two envelopes. One is from Berkeley and the other from Greendale University. She goes for the one from GU first. “Yep, I got accepted into Greendale. That’s good. In case the other is a no, I have a good backup plan.” She sets her acceptance letter on the coffee table. Her hands shake ever so slightly as she tears into the second envelope.

I’m positive she got in. She has to. Nora is the smartest person I know. Her eyes flit over the letter, and a few seconds pass. And she’s not smiling. She lowers the letter and closes her eyes as she exhales.

“I got in.”

Stephanie cheers and I plant a big kiss on Nora’s lips. “I knew you’d get in,” I tell her. Nora blinks a few times and smiles.

“I prepared myself for the worst. I got in.” Her smile widens. “I got into Berkeley.”

Stephanie hugs her. “Mimi would be so proud,” she whispers. “I think she’s watching right now, pouring herself a gin and tonic and raising her glass to you.”

Nora closes her eyes, a gesture I’ve come to learn is her way of stopping tears from springing to her eyes. She doesn’t like to cry. “I think so too. With my mom and dad.”

“You’ve worked so hard for this. We need to celebrate. Jack, do you want to go out to dinner with us?” She checks the time on her phone. “Doug and Bray should be home soon. Where do you want to go, hun? Your choice.”

“Jimmy’s. I’ve grown kind of fond of that place and their greasy cheeseburgers.”

“Jimmy’s it is. I’ll text Doug and let him know.”

Nora reads over her letter and admission packet from Berkeley three times. Then her face pales and she looks up at me.

“We’re going to be so far apart.”

“I’ll come see you on the weekends. Every weekend. I promise.”

“I don’t want to be away from you.”

“I don’t want to be away from you either,” I tell her. “But we’ll make things work. There’s no way I’d get into UC Berkeley, but there are other schools around it, and I’ve always liked the Bay Area.”

Her face lights up. “Yeah, there are a ton of good schools around there. Even if we were just an hour apart is better than you being here and me being there. It’s like a seven-hour drive.”

Stephanie gets up to start taking the rest of the ribbon off the tree. Nora leans on me, hand going to my side, gently resting over my scar.

“Whatever happens, we’ll make it work,” I tell her.

“Promise?”

“Promise. Read me the acceptance letter again?”

The smile is back on her face. “I can do that.”

“Oh shit,” Stephanie mutters under her breath.

Nora stops reading and looks up. “What’s wrong?”

Stephanie shakes her head as she types out a response to whatever text she got. “Brayden got into another fight.” She sighs. “I’m going to have to call Brent again.”

At this point, even I’m familiar with Brent, the social worker assigned to Brayden’s case. Stephanie leaves the room and Nora sets her acceptance letter down. Brayden is technically her foster brother, and while he’s expected to go back to his father as soon as the court allows it, she cares about him.

The kid has some serious anger issues and doesn’t respect authority of any kind. I haven’t said anything to Nora, but my dad told me kids like Brayden end up in jail. He’s seen it before. Nora, like the Kellers, believes it’s not too late for him though and isn’t giving up.

Nora changes into a curve-hugging sweater dress and pulls half her hair up into a clip. We watch TV while waiting for Doug and Brayden to get home. And as soon as they do, I wish they hadn’t. Brayden is in a rage, yelling and trying to shove Doug away. Looking defeated, Doug takes his shoes and coat off and goes into the bathroom.

“Hey,” Nora says gently. Most of the time, Brayden calms down around her. I think it’s because he has a crush on her, not that I blame the kid, and realized the angry ‘tough guy’ persona he puts on for everyone else is extremely off-putting for Nora. “I heard you had a rough day.”

“What would you know about it, you dumb bitch?” he sneers.

“Don’t call her that,” I snap.

Brayden picks up a glass ornament from off the tree. “What are you gonna do ‘bout it, murderer?”

His words send a jolt through me, and if it wasn’t for Nora’s hand on my thigh, I’d jump up.

“Shut up!” Nora yells, and Stephanie comes rushing down the stairs.

“What?” Brayden quips, rolling the ornament between his hands. “You don’t like knowing your fuck-buddy shot someone?”

“That’s enough.” I get to my feet, fingers balled into fists.

“Jack.” Nora grabs my arm and gets up. I turn away from Brayden to look at her, and the moment I’m distracted, Brayden throws the ornament at me. He misses. I move my hand at the last second, blocking it from hitting Nora in the face. It shatters when it hits the floor. Blind rage takes over. He almost hurt Nora.

“Brayden!” Stephanie shrieks.

I step in front of Nora, keeping her out of his line of fire in case the little asshole throws more ornaments. Doug rushes back into the living room, and all hell breaks out. Brayden kicks the Christmas tree and his foot gets caught in a section of ribbon. The whole tree wobbles dangerously when he yanks his foot back. He grabs another decoration and hurtles it at me. Doug grabs Brayden’s arms and takes him to the floor.

“Murderer!” Brayden shouts at me. Nora takes my hand and leads me out of the living room and into the sunroom. She closes the door and shakes her head.

“I’m so sorry, Jack.”

“I don’t blame you.” My heart is racing, and I’m pissed. But I don’t feel triggered. I let out a breath and put my hands on Nora’s shoulders. “You got into Berkeley. Let’s focus on that.”

The sunroom is at the back of the Kellers’ house and has wall-to-wall windows as well as skylights. All the glass on the walls lets the cold in, and Nora shivers. I try to keep her warm, folding my arms around hers.

“I ran into my old boss today,” I tell Nora. “He said he’d give me my job back if I wanted it.” I worked at the only sporting goods store in Dale Hollow before I got shot. Jason worked there too. I never went back. “I told him I do. I need to save up as much as I can before next year. I meant it when I said I want to find a place near you.”

“Maybe we could get a place together eventually.”

I pull her hair over her shoulder, tracing her collarbone across her chest. “I’d like that.”

“Nora?” Stephanie calls and comes into the room. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “What about you?”

Stephanie replies with a strained smile. “I will be. Bray smashed his cast. We have to take him to the hospital, and his caseworker is meeting us there.” Stephanie looks away, eyes filling with tears. “Then he’s going to be admitted for a psych eval.”

“Is he going to come back?”

“Probably not for a while. We’ll see what the doctors say, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be placed in a residential facility for treatment. He’s getting too violent to be in the house. How he does in there depends on when and where he’ll go when he gets out.”

“Oh, wow.”

Stephanie sighs. “We probably won’t be home until late tonight, so we have to take a raincheck on dinner.”

“I’ll take you,” I tell Nora. “You can’t talk about greasy burgers and expect me not to get one.”

Nora half smiles. “Burgers do sound good.”

* * *

“Mrs. Harrington?” Nora asks, standing from the table. It’s eight-thirty and she and Veronica have been studying for a final since we got back from dinner. The Kellers are still at the hospital with Brayden.

“Call me Laura,” my mom tells her.

“Oh, okay. Laura. Stephanie wants to talk to you.” She hands my mom her phone and goes back to the table, putting her head in her hands.

“Tired?” I ask. I’ve been in my room playing video games while the girls study and came down ten minutes ago to get something to eat. While Nora studies, I should say. Veronica’s been scrolling through her Facebook feed the whole time I’ve been down here.

“Yes.” She sits up and rolls her neck. “And history puts me to sleep on its own. I’ve read this same page three times and don’t know what it says.”

“Take a break.”

“No. I need to get this done. And then go to bed early. I don’t test well when I’m tired.”

“You always test well no matter what.”

“No, I don’t. I study well and know the material.” She uncaps a highlighter and blinks rapidly, trying to keep herself awake. I eat a few more cookies, stuffing myself until I feel sickly full.

Mom comes over to the table and takes Veronica’s phone from her hands and gives Nora hers back.

“Stephanie told me what’s going on. They won’t be home until after midnight,” she starts and pulls out a chair. “With the break-ins, she doesn’t want you home alone. And since you have school in the morning, you’re going to stay with us tonight.”

“Yay! A sleepover!” Veronica exclaims.

“No.” Mom shuts her down fast. “Not a sleepover.” Her eyes go to me. “For either of you.”

I roll my eyes and Nora looks a little uncomfortable. “I have to go get my stuff.”

“I’ll go with you,” I offer. “So you’re not alone.”

“You can take the trash out,” Mom tells me. “Tomorrow is garbage day. I’ll go over with Nora. You stay here with your sister.”

Nora yawns when she gets up, leaving the house with Mom. Veronica closes her books and gets her phone from the counter.

“Are you really going to apply to schools in the Bay Area?” she asks me, not looking up from her phone.

“Yeah. Nora already has a list going for me.” I pull the bag out of the kitchen garbage.

“And you’re going to live together?”

“Ideally. It’ll depend where I end up, I guess.”

“Are you going to ask her to marry you?”

I stop, looking up at my sister. The thought of proposing to Nora never crossed my mind. I knew we’d be together, and that’s all that mattered. “Not anytime soon.”

“But you are going to ask her?”

Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s all I want to do. “Yes.”

Veronica makes a weird little squeaking noise like she always does when she’s excited. “She has her grandmother’s ring. I’ve seen it before. It’s huge! How are you going to ask her? When will you? At graduation? Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“Chill. It’s not happening for a while, and I wouldn’t ask if I thought she’d say no.”

“Tell me before you ask!”

“Sure,” I say, though there’s no way I’d tell her. Veronica would blab.

“It’s pretty much perfect. Nora is like my best friend now, and she’s your girlfriend. I always thought I’d hate you dating my friends, but I like this. And I like how you’re you again,” she adds softly.

“I do too.” I tie the garbage bag and take it outside, throwing it in the big can and rolling it to the alley behind our house. Charlie comes with, and I throw the ball for him until Nora comes back. She still looks tired, and though she hasn’t said anything, she’s worrying about Brayden.

She and Veronica go upstairs, and Nora gets into the shower. I sit in my room, thinking about her all wet, warm, and naked. It gets me hot and bothered to the point of needing to shower myself.

Once I’m out and dressed, Mom knocks on my door. She’s carrying an empty laundry basket and eyes the piles on my floor. I’ve tried keeping my shit neater but fell back to old habits.

“Tonight,” Mom starts and sets the basket on my bed. “You stay in your room and Nora stays in with Veronica. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Thank you. I can keep pretending you’re saving yourself for marriage that way.” She winks and nudges a pile of laundry. “Clean your room before rats start living in your dirty laundry.”

“They already do. That’s why I keep the dirty plates here. They have to eat.”

Mom shakes her head. “You’re going to be in for a rude awakening when you get your own place. And if you and Nora do move in together, I don’t think she’ll take too kindly to the way you ‘clean.’” She winks. “How’s that for motivation?”

She shuts my door, and I get up, filling the basket with laundry. Nora is going to hate living with me. I strip my sheets and put on fresh ones, then take the full basket downstairs to the laundry room. Nora is in the kitchen, dressed in candy cane-patterned PJ pants and a tank top.

“Are you going to bed?” I ask her, watching her pack up her bag for tomorrow.

“Yeah. Well, kind of. I’m going to take my history book up with me and read until I fall asleep. I know we had a good reason to go out tonight, but I should have waited until the weekend to celebrate.”

“You’ll be fine, babe.”

“Getting complacent makes you sloppy.”

I’ve heard her say that little phrase before. Mimi used to tell it to her, and Nora took everything her grandma said to heart, to the extreme, after she died. I held my tongue before and am struggling right now. Nora looks absolutely exhausted.

I throw my laundry in the washing machine and go to Nora. I take the book from her hands. “Go to bed. Get some sleep before I come get you later.”

“Jack, your mom’s home and your dad will be later tonight.”

I shrug. “We’ve snuck off together before. We won’t get caught.”

She takes her book back. “We better not.”

* * *

Dad gets home from work around eleven-thirty. Charlie gets up and paws at the door, wanting to go down and greet him. I open the door to let him out and peer into Veronica’s room. She’s fast asleep, and Nora is sitting on the floor using her phone as a flashlight so she can keep studying. She yawns and her head dips forward.

I’m about to go in and tell her to go the sleep when the floorboards at the bottom of the stairs creak. Wanting to save us both a lot of trouble, I go into my room and get into bed, pretending to be asleep. Charlie jumps back on the bed, laying across me, and I hear Dad gently tell Nora to stop studying and go to sleep.

Charlie weasels his way up and under the covers with me. I pet him while I wait for Dad to go to bed and end up falling asleep myself. I wake at two AM. The house is quiet, and Charlie moved to the foot of the bed.

I tiptoe into Veronica’s room and put my hand on Nora’s shoulder. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles when she sees me. She’s half asleep but gets out of bed and shuffles into my room. We fall into bed together. I spoon myself around her, getting turned on instantly from my cock rubbing against her ass. I move her hair to the side and kiss the nape of her neck.

Nora softly moans and wiggles against me before rolling over. “Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s just go to sleep. I’m tired.”

“Really?”

Her eyes are closed. “Really.”

“Okay,” I say and try to talk down my dick.

“Thanks.” She slides her hand over my chest and bends her knee up, moving closer. I shift my weight, and her leg bumps into my cock. “Are you hard?” she whispers.

“I’m in bed with you. How can I not be?”

A small smile plays on her lips and she brings her hand down, fingers sweeping over my dick. “It turns me on to know you want me.”

“I want you every second of every day.”

“Kiss me.”

I obey and start with her lips, making my way to the side of her neck. She takes my hand and pushes it inside her pajama pants. She’s so fucking wet. I groan and slip a finger inside her.

Nora lays back, widening her legs as I finger her. I go right for her G-spot, alternating between rubbing and tapping, bringing her to the brink of an orgasm in no time. Her breathing quickens, and she puts both hands on my head and pushes me down. She’s so far from the shy virgin she was a year ago.

Her legs go over my shoulders and she balls the sheets in her hands. I spread her wide and dive in, licking her wet pussy. She tastes so fucking good. I get to work, not stopping until she’s writhing against my face, moaning into the pillow she bent up over her head.

On a high from coming, she grabs my arms and brings me forward, falling between her legs. She yanks my boxers down, welcoming my cock between her thighs. I put my lips on her neck, sucking her skin hard. Nora grabs my ass, fingers curling into my flesh and bucks her hips. The tip of my dick rubs against her. I could come like this if she keeps it up.

“Fuck me, Jack,” she moans.

Blindly, I feel for the condom I stashed under my pillow. I can’t get it on fast enough. Nora takes hold of my cock and guides me to her pussy. I thrust inside, greedy and impatient, groaning when I feel her tightness around me. I move fast, pushing deeper and deeper with each thrust. Nora puts her hands on my hips, stopping me. She moves me off her and shoves me onto the mattress.

Then she climbs on top.

She holds my hands above my head and rocks her hips. Slow. Steady. I have no fucking idea how she has so much self-control. I twist my wrists, breaking free from her hold, and grab onto her waist. I slit my eyes open just enough to look at her, to look at this beautiful girl on top of me, lips parted, messy hair swaying around her face.

The girl I love.

Nora pitches forward, breasts in my face, moaning a little too loudly as she comes. I kiss her to shut her up, but only a moment later, she’s the one trying to keep me quiet. I come hard, feeling it throughout every part in my body.

She falls to the mattress next to me, panting.

“We’re good at that.” She pushes her hair back and reaches for the sheets.

“We’re really fucking good at that.”

Nora falls asleep only minutes after we clean up and get under the covers. I hold her, feeling more than I ever thought I was capable of feeling. She’s my first long-term girlfriend—I fully intend on having her be my last—and everything with her gets better and better every time. My friends give me shit for being pussy whipped, saying I’m limiting myself by only fucking one chick.

They don’t get it.

They don’t get how Nora is everything to me. How much I fucking love her. How I died the day I shot Jason, forced to walk around with the living. How every day was a reminder of that. Until Nora brought me back to life.

I don’t mean to fall asleep, but I do. And I sleep soundly until someone knocks on my door at six AM.